Too Young To Be This D*** Old

When did I become “old”? Somehow, Old snuck up on me while I was sleeping and whacked me upside the head and pronounced me ‘young-no-mo’. How is it that in my mind and heart I still feel the same as I did when I was in my 20’s, but now I’m at the ripe ‘ol age of 46?

Turning 30 was no big deal. I was still ME, goofy and silly alot of the time, but ready to kick-some-ass other times. Turning 40 was also no big deal, although I must admit that I’ve invested more money in the skills and potions of my hair-stylist to hide those sneaky little grey hairs that suddenly appeared on my head! Where did THOSE come from?! Thanks KIDS! It MUST be their fault!

But geez……suddenly 45 comes along and, seemingly overnight, I find myself holding the newspaper further away to be able to read the text. I invested several years ago in some very nice, but costly, contact lenses due to my vanity-driven hatred of prescription eyeglasses! But here comes age 45, and the darn contacts don’t work like they used to. I went to see my eye doctor, thinking surely there must be something wrong with the lenses THEY gave me, only to be shocked to hear my doctor insist that it’s time for me to purchase some cough, choke, spit, r.e.a.d.i.n.g. glasses!!! What?! ME?!!! No way!

I then insisted that just because it was almost April Fool’s Day, that I was not the person he should choose to test his holiday prank on! I insisted that just because I was 45 didn’t mean I couldn’t kick his ass if need be! He wasn’t kidding.

Just the idea of ME wearing reading glasses, in conjunction with my contact lenses, has definitely caused a shift in my perception of becoming “old”. Memories of mom with glasses usually attached to a chain around her neck, looking as though they would fall off her nose at any moment, her constantly reaching to push them back up onto her nose and continue reading.

So this is Old. Well…, I’m gonna fight it as long as I can. One day I’ll be the 85 year old grandma, glasses hanging by a chain around my neck, still ready to kick-some-ass when I deem necessary. Just not today.

I’m still too young to be this damn old.

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  1. […] Oh my gosh, I’m going to be a Grandma and very soon. And to think that I was worried about being too young to be this d*** old before my time because of having to buy reading glasses last year. That is nothing compared to […]