Look Into The Eyes Of A Child – Conclusion

If you have read the story of this little girl, you know she had a very difficult upbringing. You may think her childhood memories haunt her even as an adult, but they don’t. To courageously tell a true story of abuse as a young girl, although now an adult mother, is in itself strong indication that she has healed from her past. Having learned at a very young age to keep such offenses secret, due to the consequences she received from speaking out, she was able to break free from abuse as an adult. As an adult, she isn’t afraid of speaking her mind, expressing her feelings in a straight-forward manner, or speaking out against issues of abuse, because she understands completely. Fear doesn’t have a strangle-hold on her any longer. A question remains for you, my devoted readers. What will YOU do to help those that are abused?

I’ve received several private email messages, since writing this very personal story, wondering why I chose to write it and publish it on the internet? My response was the same for them all. Sometimes you have to put abuse cases right in people’s faces for people in society to wake up to the call to learn how to recognize when abuse is happening, the signs and symptoms of abuse, and what to do about it. Having experienced several different forms of abuse while growing up, and while married, I couldn’t be silent on these issues. Below I list several resources for learning about the signs and symptoms of abuse, and what you can and need to do about it.

If you suspect child abuse, always report it, for the sake of the child. Call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. For more information, see How Do I Report Suspected Child Abuse?

To recognize child abuse, look for clusters of the following physical and behavioral symptoms:

Some signs of physical child abuse:
-Burns, bite marks, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object.
-Resistance to going home.
-Fear of adults.

Some signs of emotional child abuse:
-Apathy, depression.
-Hostility.
-Difficulty concentrating.

Some signs of sexual child abuse:
-Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts.
-Seductiveness.
-Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or body.
-Either over-compliance or excessive aggression.
-Fear of a particular person or family member.

How can I get help for child abuse?

To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline can help:

-Victims: children and teens who have been abused
-Survivors of child abuse
-Abusers: people who have abused a child or who are afraid that they may abuse a child
-Witnesses to child abuse

To identify paroled sex offenders who live in your neighborhood see: National Sex Offender Public Registry OR National/State Sex Offender Registry.

Domestic Violence and Abuse:
Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships

Elder Abuse:
Types, Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Help

Drug Abuse and Addiction:
Signs, Symptoms, and Effects

Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
Signs, Symptoms, Effects, and Testing

Self-Injury:
Types, Causes and Treatment


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19 Responses to “Look Into The Eyes Of A Child – Conclusion”

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  1. Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I know how difficult writing like this can be and also how freeing it can be to open the floodgates of healing words. Facing the fear of other people’s reactions to what you write is terrifying at the time that you do it. Breaking the silence is worth it. I strongly believe that education and knowledge is how we will eventually stop the abuse. That is why I write about my own incest experiences. I have been surprised at how painful it still is when I write about my own experiences. Blessings to you for sharing.

    Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Cry When You Need To

  2. Lin says:

    Matthew, bless you for your courage. I know all too well how difficult it is when parents don’t believe their own children. I hope you will continue to build courage and strength and not allow the past to rule your future.

    Thriver, it was my duty to bring awareness to these crucial issues affecting children. If even one person is helped to find their “voice” by my speaking out, then I feel it’s well worth the struggle to write about it.

    Patricia, like I mentioned in my comment on your blog post, I literally screamed it all out on the top of a mountain. Whether that is possible or not, or going somewhere very remote and beating the ground until you can’t raise your arm anymore, getting the anger out is absolutely necessary to begin healing.

    I have yet to find the courage to tell the story of how history often repeats itself, and how my experience became the experience of my child by a “family friend”. There isn’t a mountain high enough for me to climb to get that anger and emotion out of my system.

  3. I learned in Al-Anon years too late for my daughter that the issues that we don’t heal often gets passed down to our own children to be reenacted. My daughter didn’t have to live through the years of silence and fear that I did. I was able to give her a safe place to talk about her abuse at the hands of a 14-year-old boy that we were houseparents for when she was 10.

    Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Cry When You Need To

  4. baran says:

    Beautifully written story, yet so heartbreaking! I could relate to her in many ways. I never told cs i knew it would make “mommy and daddy” upset! To this day i care more about hurting other when i share my sadness! Only my true friend (significant other) hears all my pain. I truly wish i could help kids who went through any kind of abuse. Thankfully even though i was 8 years old, i didn’t lost all my trust. I just learned to recognize true friends…and not to hate all men for what happened to me. I got goose bumps while reading this story, i would break into tears, but i can’t cs if my mother sees me she will ask why i am crying 🙂 The part where she is pushing the man away is so familiar tome , after those days i started having unexplainable pain in my knees…This all happened in Iran where child abuse cases go unnoticed even more than they do here…being a virgin gives u value if u r not a virgin in ur wedding n8 u r worthless…i felt that way, but when true love came it saved me…but how many will have that? how many of these girls (or boys) will be healed? …i wish there was a answer to all this…i have been able to help some others dealing with abuse, but it not enough…I really appreciate what u do in ur blogs…never stop 🙂

  5. Lin says:

    Hi Baran, thank you for your comment. I will continue writing about child sexual abuse and the many things related to it, and I truly hope that others who have been victimized will have courage to speak out as well.

  6. This must have been pretty hard to share… It kind of makes me wonder how bad can humanity get.

  7. Lin says:

    Hi Jesse. Yes it was difficult to write my personal story of sexual abuse but it was something I had to do. So many victims of sexual abuse don’t tell anyone about what happened to them until well into adulthood, mostly due to fear. Having been abused myself, I felt it was my responsibility to tell my own story, and I hope it gives other victims the courage to do the same.

  8. Janet Fox says:

    I just read this story Lin .. And it has left me so speechless. I must say its an altogether different experience when you get to know that such things can happen to someone you know..

    At first I thought you were talking about some one else (and at that time I had this feeling that such things cannot really happen to me).. Only when I realized you were sharing soemthing about ur life I realized we are all so vulnerable to this…

    • Lin says:

      Hi Janet,

      I’ve been asked many times why I would share such a personal thing about myself, on the internet no less. Because abuse victims don’t tell because they’re afraid to tell. If I can find the courage to tell my story – maybe just maybe it will help encourage other victims to tell their story too. The abuse of children, rape and molestation and domestic violence must stop. Victims have to stand up and say no more. They must tell and tell and tell and tell.