If you have read the story of this little girl, you know she had a very difficult upbringing. You may think her childhood memories haunt her even as an adult, but they don’t. To courageously tell a true story of abuse as a young girl, although now an adult mother, is in itself strong indication that she has healed from her past. Having learned at a very young age to keep such offenses secret, due to the consequences she received from speaking out, she was able to break free from abuse as an adult. As an adult, she isn’t afraid of speaking her mind, expressing her feelings in a straight-forward manner, or speaking out against issues of abuse, because she understands completely. Fear doesn’t have a strangle-hold on her any longer. A question remains for you, my devoted readers. What will YOU do to help those that are abused?
I’ve received several private email messages, since writing this very personal story, wondering why I chose to write it and publish it on the internet? My response was the same for them all. Sometimes you have to put abuse cases right in people’s faces for people in society to wake up to the call to learn how to recognize when abuse is happening, the signs and symptoms of abuse, and what to do about it. Having experienced several different forms of abuse while growing up, and while married, I couldn’t be silent on these issues. Below I list several resources for learning about the signs and symptoms of abuse, and what you can and need to do about it.
If you suspect child abuse, always report it, for the sake of the child. Call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD. For more information, see How Do I Report Suspected Child Abuse?
To recognize child abuse, look for clusters of the following physical and behavioral symptoms:
Some signs of physical child abuse:
-Burns, bite marks, cuts, bruises, or welts in the shape of an object.
-Resistance to going home.
-Fear of adults.
Some signs of emotional child abuse:
-Apathy, depression.
-Hostility.
-Difficulty concentrating.
Some signs of sexual child abuse:
-Inappropriate interest in or knowledge of sexual acts.
-Seductiveness.
-Avoidance of things related to sexuality, or rejection of own genitals or body.
-Either over-compliance or excessive aggression.
-Fear of a particular person or family member.
How can I get help for child abuse?
To get help in the U.S., call:
1-800-4-A-CHILD
The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline can help:
-Victims: children and teens who have been abused
-Survivors of child abuse
-Abusers: people who have abused a child or who are afraid that they may abuse a child
-Witnesses to child abuse
To identify paroled sex offenders who live in your neighborhood see: National Sex Offender Public Registry OR National/State Sex Offender Registry.
Domestic Violence and Abuse:
Warning Signs and Symptoms of Abusive Relationships
Elder Abuse:
Types, Signs, Symptoms, Causes, and Help
Drug Abuse and Addiction:
Signs, Symptoms, and Effects
Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism:
Signs, Symptoms, Effects, and Testing
Self-Injury:
Types, Causes and Treatment
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17 responses so far ↓
1 Costa Rica Real Estate Prince // Oct 8, 2007 at 3:20 am
I read the story and it was heartbreaking. I couldn’t imagine that there are people in this world who are humans but act more like a beast. To help out those victims, there are charities or institutions that we could be able to extend our helping hands. In one way or another, we can make a difference.
2 Telling It Like It Is // Oct 8, 2007 at 6:32 am
I agree Jack, thank you. Unfortunately, abuse of all kinds happen to children every day. When abuse such as was described in this story happens, it should make us all not only angry and heartbroken, but determined to do our utmost to protect our children as much as humanly possible; AND when parents are told of abuse happening to them, parents must believe their children and act accordingly.
3 Bec // Oct 26, 2007 at 7:40 am
I wish I didn’t believe that kind of thing happens. *sigh*
4 Telling It Like It Is // Oct 26, 2007 at 8:14 am
Bec, thanks for stopping by and taking the time to read the story. Unfortunately these type things happen all the time, and it’s important to not shy away from the fact. As difficult and heartbreaking as it is for many to read such stories, it’s important for parents to be vigilant in protecting their children, and believing them when told they were hurt in some way.
5 BlogStruk // Nov 9, 2007 at 7:20 pm
I commend you for the courage it took to tell this story. Thank you for writing it and providing links to resources for people that want more information.
Education and awareness are two of the best weapons we have against child abuse. Thank you.
6 webbasedhelpdesk // Nov 12, 2007 at 3:55 am
Thanks for sharing. I’m sure this was very difficult. While I won’t claim to know what you know, I do know some things about this and I know how painful it can be long after the fact and after you have came to grips with things that happened. I think people who have these type of experiences either become those people themselves or they go the opposite direction and become very loving parents.
Bruce
7 Telling It Like It Is // Nov 12, 2007 at 6:58 am
Bruce, It was very difficult for me to write about this experience. Each part took me an entire day to complete, believe it or not, because I began to shake the more I typed. Putting myself deeply into that memory, re-living it in a sense, made me doubt I could actually complete the story.
On your point about how some victims react: Some people may become promiscuous to various degrees, looking for love in all the wrong places. Others, as you said, become perpetrators. Thankfully, that was not my experience.
While I have intense hatred for perpetrators hurting children, there has not been enough studies to delve into What created these monsters of society? I believe it’s an important question that is yet to be answered in the complete sense.
8 Enola (1 comments.) // Dec 14, 2007 at 9:37 am
Thank you for having the courage to share.
Enola’s last blog post..A Light-Hearted Start to Friday
9 Matthew | www.loving-awareness.org (1 comments.) // Dec 14, 2007 at 1:09 pm
Thank you for sharing this in such a bare and heartfelt manner. It’s a great way to emphatically state that this is nothing to be ashamed of.
My brother started climbing into my bed when I was 3 or so, always when I was asleep. I don’t know why he did it; he is autistic. My parents still don’t really know if they believe me, but admit it does make sense given my sleeping issues and past behavior. It’s taken many years simply to allow the memories and feel unashamed of all the influences on me.
http://www.loving-awareness.org - A Journey to Wholeness
Matthew | http://www.loving-awareness.org’s last blog post..navigating the trials of life
10 marj aka thriver (1 comments.) // Dec 15, 2007 at 3:57 pm
Thank you so much for having the courage to share your story, raise awareness and provide the helpful links in your post.
Also, thanks for allowing us to use this post for the BLOG CARNIVAL AGAINST CHILD ABUSE.
marj aka thriver’s last blog post..A 2007 Christmas Carnival
11 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker (6 comments.) // Dec 15, 2007 at 8:59 pm
Thank you for having the courage to share your story. I know how difficult writing like this can be and also how freeing it can be to open the floodgates of healing words. Facing the fear of other people’s reactions to what you write is terrifying at the time that you do it. Breaking the silence is worth it. I strongly believe that education and knowledge is how we will eventually stop the abuse. That is why I write about my own incest experiences. I have been surprised at how painful it still is when I write about my own experiences. Blessings to you for sharing.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Cry When You Need To
12 Lin (904 comments.) // Dec 15, 2007 at 9:11 pm
Matthew, bless you for your courage. I know all too well how difficult it is when parents don’t believe their own children. I hope you will continue to build courage and strength and not allow the past to rule your future.
Thriver, it was my duty to bring awareness to these crucial issues affecting children. If even one person is helped to find their “voice” by my speaking out, then I feel it’s well worth the struggle to write about it.
Patricia, like I mentioned in my comment on your blog post, I literally screamed it all out on the top of a mountain. Whether that is possible or not, or going somewhere very remote and beating the ground until you can’t raise your arm anymore, getting the anger out is absolutely necessary to begin healing.
I have yet to find the courage to tell the story of how history often repeats itself, and how my experience became the experience of my child by a “family friend”. There isn’t a mountain high enough for me to climb to get that anger and emotion out of my system.
13 Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker (6 comments.) // Dec 15, 2007 at 9:22 pm
I learned in Al-Anon years too late for my daughter that the issues that we don’t heal often gets passed down to our own children to be reenacted. My daughter didn’t have to live through the years of silence and fear that I did. I was able to give her a safe place to talk about her abuse at the hands of a 14-year-old boy that we were houseparents for when she was 10.
Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker’s last blog post..Cry When You Need To
14 baran // May 3, 2008 at 10:47 pm
Beautifully written story, yet so heartbreaking! I could relate to her in many ways. I never told cs i knew it would make “mommy and daddy” upset! To this day i care more about hurting other when i share my sadness! Only my true friend (significant other) hears all my pain. I truly wish i could help kids who went through any kind of abuse. Thankfully even though i was 8 years old, i didn’t lost all my trust. I just learned to recognize true friends…and not to hate all men for what happened to me. I got goose bumps while reading this story, i would break into tears, but i can’t cs if my mother sees me she will ask why i am crying
The part where she is pushing the man away is so familiar tome , after those days i started having unexplainable pain in my knees…This all happened in Iran where child abuse cases go unnoticed even more than they do here…being a virgin gives u value if u r not a virgin in ur wedding n8 u r worthless…i felt that way, but when true love came it saved me…but how many will have that? how many of these girls (or boys) will be healed? …i wish there was a answer to all this…i have been able to help some others dealing with abuse, but it not enough…I really appreciate what u do in ur blogs…never stop 
15 Lin (904 comments.) // May 3, 2008 at 11:01 pm
Hi Baran, thank you for your comment. I will continue writing about child sexual abuse and the many things related to it, and I truly hope that others who have been victimized will have courage to speak out as well.
16 Jesse - Stop Child Abduction (1 comments.) // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:20 am
This must have been pretty hard to share… It kind of makes me wonder how bad can humanity get.
17 Lin (904 comments.) // Jun 11, 2008 at 9:30 am
Hi Jesse. Yes it was difficult to write my personal story of sexual abuse but it was something I had to do. So many victims of sexual abuse don’t tell anyone about what happened to them until well into adulthood, mostly due to fear. Having been abused myself, I felt it was my responsibility to tell my own story, and I hope it gives other victims the courage to do the same.
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