Gold Diggers Get Their Due Reward
There was a time, in the “good ol days”, when girls grew up hoping to fall in love and marry a man who was handsome, kind, loving, attentive, romantic, respectful, loved children, and a good provider for the family. While these are still attributes women seek in a potential mate, there’s a disturbing and growing trend of women of all ages and ethnicities looking to hog-tie a man into marriage because of the size of his wallet. It’s certainly true that Gold Diggers have been around for a very long time, preying on unsuspecting men in a selfish and despicable attempt to siphon bank accounts dry, only to get a divorce and look for their next victim.
Although there is ongoing debate as to the cause of this kind of attitude amongst many women, the primary and most suggested cause is pure and simple vanity. Women justify their behavior by saying things like, “I take care of myself”, “I still look good”, “I keep my body in shape”, “Why shouldn’t a man have to pay handsomely for enjoying THIS body?”
There are many slang terms that might accurately describe this type of woman, and as descriptive as these terms might be, I’m embarrassed to be amongst this gender species that would ruthlessly seek to use and abuse men in this way. Even more embarrassing is that one of my best friends, a woman I’ve known since I was a teenager, has evolved over time into a Gold Digger. My friend, I’ll call her Jean, is 51 years old.
At a young age, she married a man she fell in love with, had two children together, and remained in this union for many years as an at-home mother caring for her husband and children, until she discovered he was having an affair. She was mortified that any man would choose to cheat on her despite the fact that, even to this day, she works out at a gym nearly everyday, and is more physically fit than most women her age, if not older.
Numerous conversations, naming a large variety of high-profile models discovering their husbands have cheated on them, haven’t made an impact on her opinion that good looks and a fit body is all it takes to “keep a man”.
After the divorce, Jean sought out men based on what kind of car they drove, their clothing style and brand names, had “six-pack abs”, whether they freely gave her money, what restaurants she was treated to, while she willingly gave up her “assets” in an attempt to prove her worthiness as a potential wife.
Having a full-time job of her own, she struggled month after month trying to provide for herself, now that the children were grown and gone. When describing the newest man in her life, the characteristics and qualities of the man’s personality were never mentioned, or if they had similar interests, likes and dislikes. “He drives a BMW”; “He has a nice house in the suburbs”; He is the CEO of “X” corporation”.
Jean later married a man she believed she loved, despite the fact that he was rather cold, uncaring, spiteful towards her adult children, controlling, physically abusive, an alcoholic, diagnosed with Bi-polar, and cheated on her. That marriage ended as well, and Jean is once again on the prowl, looking to find her meal ticket to the big house in the suburbs.
You might think that these type experiences would clue her in on the superficial aspects of what she seeks, but as of this writing, Jean is seeing a man who exhibits the exact same temperaments as her last husband. He has a good job, drives a very nice car, takes her to nice restaurants, takes her to church, hangs up on her when disagreeing on the phone, sends her hateful text messages and voice mails, treats her friends rudely and with utter disrespect.
While her gold digging attitudes and behaviors are selfish and disgusting, there is a real disconnect is her way of thinking, rationalizing her way out of the realization that two husbands have cheated on her and it had nothing to do with her body or feminine wiles.
What ever happened to the days of Helen Reddy’s song “I am woman, hear me roar”? I keep recalling the hit movie “Waiting To Exhale”, and the accompanying song “Sista’s Are Doing It For Themselves”. Women have come a long way since the feminist movement began, achieving great strides in the world of business, increased income, high positions in companies and government. It is beyond my comprehension how an increasing number of women, including a young 25 year-old twit on Craigslist, believe that men OWE them anything other than love, companionship, respect and commitment.
Perhaps women will only learn the futility of their dreams of the fast-track to fortune and luxury when they wake up one day old and alone. Perhaps if they focused their attention on things that really matter, like having a solid relationship that they personally contribute to outside of the bedroom, perhaps they may surprise themselves and find happiness with a man that treats them like a queen, even without the superficial fancy duds.
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Great post! You’ve really honed in on a mistake a lot of women are making. What is really scary is that many young women are not bothering to get a good education because they think they can count on a man to support them.
I think all teen girls should have to read Bennetts’ The Feminine Mistake to find out why counting on Prince Charming is dangerous.
Beyond the marriage question, why would anyone choose to live a boring, miserable life that is measured in material possessions? Perhaps there are some nitwits who have never read Dickens’ A Christmas Carol.
I think that fathers can do their part by showing their daughters by example what a man can bring to a good relationship. For my part, I also told my daughters, “All men are pigs, including your father.”
i have an uncle, my mom’s brother…he married one of “those” women that you mention. he was still married, when he met this creature. he had 2 kids, a nice house in the suburbs…pulling in a ton of money at a huge law firm. she was a court reporter…they have a reputation for being gold diggers…anyway, he started an affair with her. ended his first marriage and married this thing. so, not only is she a gold digger but, she’s a home wrecker, as well.
there are so many of this type of woman, floating around. so many. and, they don’t care if the man is already married. they are looking for, like you said, a meal ticket and a big home in the burbs.
i would be so ashamed and mortified if my daughters turned out like that! i wonder what their mother’s think of them!
Well written enjoyed your truthfull version of real life.
I’ve also seen it happen the other way around, where a lazy man will latch onto a career minded professional woman. It’s certainly not as common but it happens, particularly within a certain minority group.
Thank you everyone for your comments.
Frank, while it is true that it happens amongst men as well, it’s not as prevalent as with women. But I dare say I disagree completely that it happens more so with any “particular minority group”. I’ve seen it happening with every race. Gold Diggers come in all colors and sizes, and it’s disgusting no matter who they are.
Interesting post! Do you think that gold digging has really been glorified of late in pop culture?
MamaZen, I believe that this type of woman has been around for many, many years. I don’t know that I would say that pop culture has increased the chances of this happening, but I would say the media has zeroed in on some woman who have married much older men, who also have huge bank accounts.
While I believe it is possible for at least some of these high-profile women to actually fall in love with the men, suspicions of their true motives come to the forefront.
This type of woman doesn’t always seek out millionaires or billionaires. Just finding a man who drives a luxurious car, has a very nice (large and expensive) home, expensive name-brand clothes, are high on the list of targets.
I meant to come back and follow up on this one earlier. It’s great you got all the comments moved over.
As for the minority thing, it probably comes a lot from what I overhear at work since the last two offices I’ve worked in had a lot of single working mothers who had a lot of vocal complaints about the quality of the men in their lives.
Frank C’s last blog post..Googlenoia Update #2
Hi,
My Father was the victim of a gold digger. I took care of my parents all of my life. My mother became ill and my father started showing symptoms of Alzheimers. after a long bout with cancer my Mother passed away. My father’s condition had worsened. Although I tried to stay close and take care of him, someone was still able to prey on him. It happened so fast. Of course I thought I had
lived my worst nightmare watching my Mother go, untill I saw my father taken this way, by an obvious gold digger, abuser and alcoholic.
She forced him to move to another State. My father was unhappy and confused. As much as I
pleaded with my other sisters to support me with an intervention, no one would, so my parents, married almost fifty years were both gone. Everything they worked their whole lives for was taken by a low class gold digger. My Family Legacy destroyed. I have been struggling with it since my father passed away 2 years ago.
THIS is the worst kind of gold digger, someone who takes advantage of the grieving Spouse. My father Loved my mother so, and he was too weak and vulnerable after her passing. He was a successful Man and a kind soul whom I dearly loved. My only Solace is that they are together.
Hi,
My Father was the victim of a gold digger. I took care of my parents all of my life. My mother became ill and my father started showing symptoms of Alzheimers. After a long bout with cancer my Mother passed away. My father’s condition had worsened. Although I tried to stay close and take care of him, someone was still able to prey on him. It happened so fast. Of course I thought I had lived my worst nightmare watching my Mother go, untill I saw my father taken this way, by an obvious gold digger, abuser and alcoholic.
She forced him to move to another State. She
made sure he had little contact with those he was closest to so she could control, abuse and manipulate him. I was obviosly one of the biggest threats. My father was unhappy and confused. As much as I pleaded with my other sisters to support me with an intervention, no one would, too busy with their own lives. So my parents, married almost fifty years were both gone. Everything they worked their whole lives for was taken by a low class gold digger. My Family Legacy destroyed. It devastated me. I have been struggling with it since my father passed away 2 years ago.
THIS is the worst kind of gold digger, someone who takes advantage of the grieving Spouse. My father Loved my mother so, and he was too weak and vulnerable after her passing. He was a successful Man and a kind soul whom I dearly loved. My only Solace is that they are together.
Please look out for your elderly parents……. I never would have dreamed something like this could happen.
Melanie, your story breaks my heart. For your father to be taken advantage of like that is just terrible! For your father to be suffering with Alzheimer’s and be taken advantage of this way by a gold digger is shameful. I know this must be so hard for you to accept and deal with, but I would think that your father and mother would want you to do just that. Your parents would want you to live your life and move on from this, and I do hope and pray that you can put this terrible thing aside and go on with your life. It is surely what your parents would want for you. I wish you much peace and comfort.
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