There was a time, in the “good ol days”, when girls grew up hoping to fall in love and marry a man who was handsome, kind, loving, attentive, romantic, respectful, loved children, and a good provider for the family. While these are still attributes women seek in a potential mate, there’s a disturbing and growing trend of women of all ages and ethnicities looking to hog-tie a man into marriage because of the size of his wallet. It’s certainly true that Gold Diggers have been around for a very long time, preying on unsuspecting men in a selfish and despicable attempt to siphon bank accounts dry, only to get a divorce and look for their next victim.
Although there is ongoing debate as to the cause of this kind of attitude amongst many women, the primary and most suggested cause is pure and simple vanity. Women justify their behavior by saying things like, “I take care of myself”, “I still look good”, “I keep my body in shape”, “Why shouldn’t a man have to pay handsomely for enjoying THIS body?”
There are many slang terms that might accurately describe this type of woman, and as descriptive as these terms might be, I’m embarrassed to be amongst this gender species that would ruthlessly seek to use and abuse men in this way. Even more embarrassing is that one of my old high school friends, a girl I knew many years ago but no longer keep in contact with, evolved over time into a Gold Digger. I’ll call her Jean.
She married a man she fell in love with and had four children with him. Jean was married for many years and enjoyed working outside the home part-time and caring for their two sons and two daughters. Neither made much money, but they were content. Until she discovered he was having an affair. They got a divorce.
After the divorce, Jean began seeking out men based on what kind of car they drove, their clothing style and brand names, had “six-pack abs”, whether they freely gave her money, what restaurants she was treated to, while she willingly gave up her “assets” in an attempt to prove her worthiness as a potential wife.
Having a full-time job of her own, she struggled month after month trying to provide for herself, now that the children were grown and gone. When describing the newest man in her life, the characteristics and qualities of the man’s personality were never mentioned, or if they had similar interests, likes and dislikes. “He drives a BMW”; “He has a nice house in the suburbs”; He is the CEO of “X” corporation”.
Jean later married a man she believed she loved, despite the fact that he was rather cold, uncaring, spiteful towards her adult children, controlling, physically abusive, an alcoholic, and who also eventually cheated on her. That marriage ended as well, and Jean was once again on the prowl, looking to find her meal ticket to the big house in the suburbs.
You might think that these type experiences would clue her and other women in on the superficial aspects of what they seek. The last time I heard about Jean through another high school friend, Jean is again seeing a man who exhibits the exact same temperaments as her last husband. He has a good job, drives a very nice car, takes her to nice restaurants, takes her to church, hangs up on her when disagreeing on the phone, sends her hateful text messages and voice mails, treats her friends rudely and with utter disrespect.
What ever happened to the days of Helen Reddy’s song “I am woman, hear me roar”? I keep recalling the hit movie “Waiting To Exhale”, and the accompanying song “Sista’s Are Doing It For Themselves”. Women have come a long way since the feminist movement began, achieving great strides in the world of business, increased income, high positions in companies and government. It is beyond my comprehension how an increasing number of women, including a young 25 year-old twit on Craigslist, believe that men OWE them anything other than love, companionship, respect and commitment.
Perhaps women will only learn the futility of their dreams of the fast-track to fortune and luxury when they wake up one day old and alone. Perhaps if they focused their attention on things that really matter, like having a solid relationship that they personally contribute to outside of the bedroom, perhaps they may surprise themselves and find happiness with a man that treats them like a queen, even without the superficial fancy duds.