If your children know more about technology and computers than you do, this post is for you. If your children or teenagers are nearby, now is the time to usher them out of the room because this is for your eyes only. If it’s not possible to read this in private right now, than be sure to bookmark this page and come back to it when you can read it without ‘inquiring minds’ hovering nearby. You’ll understand why in just a couple of minutes.
Do your young children or teenagers know more about technology and computers than you do? Do you scratch your head in amazement and utter confusion when your children discuss the latest and greatest technological advances that you know nothing about? How about this: Do you really know what your children or teenagers are doing while they are online? Do you know and understand the dangers of webcams? If that in itself doesn’t concern or worry you, it should.
Advances in technology play an ever-increasing role in our lives today, with much of it being positive, and it will only increase in the future. While there are great potential benefits with technology and computers for learning and discovery, there is also tremendous opportunity for misuse. According to the NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children), “early childhood educators (and parents) carry the responsibility to critically examine the impact of technology on children and be prepared to use technology to benefit children”. That begs this question: How can the non techno-savvy parent “critically examine the impact of technology” on their children if they are clueless about technology and computers?
Most parents tell their children not to talk to strangers, not to open the door if they are home alone, and not to give out personal information to persons unknown. Most parents keep track of where their children are, who their friends are and where they live, etc. However, many parents do not understand or realize that this same attentiveness and supervision must include critical examination and supervision while their children and teenagers are online.
Children and teenagers are not protected by a parents assumption that online service providers are supervising and regulating what goes on in “chat rooms”, “news groups”, or social networking sites like MySpace. Websites like MySpace “require” users to be at least fourteen years old to join, however there is no way that MySpace can verify the truthfulness of age. Therefore, someone who is well into their 30’s or even 50’s and older can easily pretend to be someone in your child’s age group and communicate with your child.
So, what can a non techno-savvy parent do to guide and protect their children?
Educate yourself-
Recently a news story was published about a young girl named Megan who was a victim of online bullying, which unfortunately lead her to commit suicide rather than continue struggling through this horrific ordeal. I dare say that if her parents’ were closely monitoring and supervising Megan’s online activities with the tremendous help of commercially available computer monitoring software
“Get It? Got It? Good!” is a free download booklet on the topic “family guide on getting to grips with technology”. It’s an extremely useful booklet offered by a children’s charity called NCH, full of information for the techno-challenged parent. You may even want to print off several copies for family and friends, or email them the link so they can benefit as well.
Closely monitor your children’s online activities-
I am very grateful that I found computer monitoring software
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Hi Lin,
One important thing to remember is that determined teens can find ways to disable or bypass monitoring software. That’s why it’s important to take a multi-tiered approach to securing the system and your in-home network. With security systems, you don’t want a single point of failure.
Frank C’s last blog post..Akismet: Heading Toward Failure?
That’s one huge reason why I like the eBlaster software. It’s completely hidden, running invisibly on your computer. It doesn’t show up in your list of programs or anywhere else. There are certain keys on the keyboard you must hit at the same time to pull up the dashboard, and then there’s also a password.
For mine, I set up a completely unique email address that I use just for this purpose, and all communications are directed to that email address. I can’t recommend this software highly enough. Even the most determined teenager won’t be able to find this software on your computer.
Excellent post! This is something that I am going to have to be increasingly vigilant about as my child gets older!
Mama Zen’s last blog post..Santa Came Early
Great post! You know, I’ve also started noticing that the shows my eight year old watches may be okay, but you have to watch out for the commercials being inappropriate. Scary world these days.
Momo Fali’s last blog post..It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Middle-Age
Maybe most of you ‘parents’ (and I use the term loosely) need to get off your lazy butts and actually parent your children! Do things with them. Don’t expect the tv or the computer to be a babysitter for them.
If you got off your lazy rear-ends once in a while, these kids wouldn’t be on computers getting into trouble in the first place.
I am a mom, I have two kids. They are teenagers. They are honor students. We watch tv, they do spend time online, but its not their entire day. We do things together.
Try that and you might end up actually having a real family.
Fortunately my children are all grown now, with my youngest being eighteen now. I no longer need to use the software mentioned in the post, but having had it previously, it allowed me to discover that my daughter once put our home phone number on someone’s “private” myspace comment section.
Even though that profile was set to private, and only those on the person’s “friends list” can view the page in its entirety, putting private information such as that is a huge no-no. She knows better, and knew better, and she’s since learned a very valuable lesson. Do not give out private and personal information like that. She now reminds other people she knows not to do what she did.
Last night (Christmas Eve) we had my hubby’s kids and granddaughter over, and the subject came up about this very topic of children not being seen outside playing very much anymore.
They all had the same opinion, that parents are too afraid to allow their children to play outside unless one or both parents are right there with their child.
They also mentioned that people rarely get to know their neighbors anymore, or have “block parties” and the like anymore, or allow their children to attend “sleep overs” because as they said, “You just don’t know anymore who to trust with your child”.
I think spying on one’s child has very grave consequences, just as I think spying on anyone has very grave consequences.
Discuss groundrules? Sure. Surveillance? Well, that’s for “enemy combatants,” not for people I love and respect.
I would say that encouraging kids to play outside in the neighborhood with neighbors you know is a much more respectful way to “keep tabs” on your kid.
Mike Lanza’s last blog post..?Real Worlds,? Virtual Worlds, and Children
Mike, I can understand the concern about using software to “spy on” children. Having experienced a rather scary scenario with one of my sons several years ago, and then with my daughter a year or so ago, I felt I had to and I don’t regret it.
I do not recommend using such software on a regular basis, but I had as I mentioned grave concerns for my son (and my daughter) and it turned out I was right for being concerned. Having the software at the time helped protect my two teenage children on two separate occasions from “perps”. I would do it again if I found it necessary to protect my kid.
P.S. Many companies use this very same type software, keeping close tabs on what their employees are doing while at work. When it comes to teenagers trying to find ways of getting around the rules of the house, getting themselves in various troublesome situations, as a parent I had to act swiftly and I did. And it worked out well.
Lin:
I admit I’m clueless about raising kids who use the Internet (but not to managing employees who use it), since my oldest child is 3-1/2.
Can you tell us anything about what the danger was as you sensed it, and what it turned out to be? I’m trying to imagine what my trigger point to use this software might be, so your story would be useful.
Mike Lanza’s last blog post..?Real Worlds,? Virtual Worlds, and Children
Mike, I’ve been debating as to whether to write a post or two on what occurred with my two kids, but I just haven’t made up my mind yet.
The compact reader’s digest version is that the first occurrence was my teenage son (14 to be exact) chose to break the rules about no involvement in “chat rooms”. (Frank was right when he mentioned in the comments above about teenagers discovering and learning ways to get around “parental controls” on the computer), and my son did.
He began “chatting” with someone my son thought was another 14 yr old boy claiming to live in the next town over. They secretly played internet games online together, and over a matter of just a couple weeks, my son became very secretive and sneaky. I’d catch him on the computer in the middle of the night, having managed to discover how to bypass the lock-down passcode.
To make a long story short, I installed the software and discovered my son was also exchanging emails with this person, gave out our home phone number and address, and then there was a mention of sex brought up. ARGH!!!!
I printed the emails and everything I could get and turned it over to the police, who then came back and told me the “14 year old kid” was a 45 yr old man living just ten blocks from my house. The police handled it from there and the scumbag turned out to be a registered sex offender. That software kept my son safe, and my daughter later on with a similar type situation on MySpace.
Thanks for sharing this, Lin.
Mike Lanza’s last blog post..?Real Worlds,? Virtual Worlds, and Children
Amen Sister!
I’m so pleased to hear some common sense out there. If one more “parent” tells me that blogging is good for kids I’m going to track them down myself.
Sue Doe-Nim’s last blog post..Welcome to My Pampered Chef Party
Hi Sue,
I know what you mean. It scares me to death given what I’ve been through with my teens. I’ve even come across “blogs” claiming to be written by kids or teens, and I feel an ache in the pit of my stomach. No telling who is conversing with these kids.
Thank you so much for participating in the Inaugural Edition of The Seventh Day, my new weekly blog carnival!
Remember that submissions are accepted through Saturdays at noon (Pacific time) and the Carnival is posted every Sunday at On the Horizon!
Drop by and check out all the wonderful posts included in the very first edition! Hope you’ll participate again.
Blessings to you!
We’ve placed links to all the sites our 9-year-old is allowed to visit on her desktop. When she needs to surf for data, we are with her. We told her up front there’s stuff out there that is just plain bad and that we need to surf with her. It’s not a power game between parent and child but a clear understanding that we want her to be safe. So far so good. Thanks for this wonderful and helpful post.
SandyCarlson’s last blog post..Blog Your Blessings: a Healthy Child
Sandy, that’s great that you take an active role in watching what she does online. As she gets older the task will become more challenging, especially once she is a tween/teen. That’s when kids really start flexing their independent muscles and try to find ways around parents. Good luck hon!
This is a great article and a great resource for parents. As a tech services provider, I work with a lot of families and I am frequently asked about parental control software and ways to limit or monitor children’s online time. Is great to have a first hand recommendation.
SB
Scott’s last blog post..There Must Be A Pony In Here Somewhere
Thanks Scott. I am a big fan of the eBlaster software. It really does the trick, and many companies and corporations are using the same type software.
This is a very important topic. Thanks for directing us to some resources.
Tami Boesiger’s last blog post..Share and Share Alike
I’m happy to present this post as part of the Happy New Year’s Carnival of Family Life which I am hosting tomorrow at Mixed Metaphor.net! Hope you’ll drop by the party and join in the festivities — we have many wonderful entries this week!
Thank you Jenn! I am checking it out right now!
Y’know, even beyond the issue of safeguarding your children from online predators – which is no trivial matter – I’m equally concerned with the bigger picture question – how much tech should we be exposing our kids to anyway?
Certainly this will be different for older kids, but I’m especially concerned about how cavalier our society has become about thrusting computers upon toddlers and very young children – they’re being taught to use MS PowerPoint in Kindergarten in some parts of the U.S. now!
We have an obligation to ensure that our kids have the social skills necessary to survive & thrive in the real world before we focus so intently on how well they do in the cyber world.
Stopping in from the Soup to Nuts Progressive Dinner.
Thanks for the info.
Technology is fast growing, parents affection and attention to children should much more faster growing.
Deka,
That is very true, parents must work very hard to stay knowledgeable about technology in order to protect their children.
Children and teens are very involved with instant messaging, chat rooms, various social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook, and weirdos and perpetrator’s are on those sites too looking for their next victim.
This was a very informative article. I don’t have kids yet, but when I do I will know where to go. It’s a very scary cyber world out there, and so much has changed since I was growing up. It’s so hard to keep up with all of the new technology these days.