If you haven’t yet heard about the book “Don’t Be That Girl”, authored by Travis L. Stark, M.D., you’re in for a real treat. You may remember the handsome and charismatic Travis, from his appearance on the hit reality show The Bachelor: Paris, where he dated 25 beautiful and intelligent women in hopes of finding true love. Dr. Stark has since written the book “Don’t Be That Girl”, and recently appeared on the Dr. Phil Show discussing the self-defeating behaviors many women use that prevents them from fulfilling their personal dreams and goals, or finding and marrying Mr. Right.
On a fluke, I decided to buy the book and see for myself if Dr. Stark knew anything at all about women, and what he felt constituted a woman to be called that girl, and I must admit the good doctor has published a very good read. Before buying the book, I read a great number of customer reviews, and wasn’t surprised to find there are mixed opinions, with most comments being very positive. I laughed out loud reading some of the women’s reviews online, who took great exception to the possibility that an E.R doctor might have the slightest clue about what makes women do the things many women do that sends off red flags in a man’s mind while dating, causing her to be labeled a that girl. I thought about replying to those women, to tell them to Lighten Up, but I decided it wasn’t worth the trouble. Are you a that girl?
Don’t Be That Girl is a book that most women will likely find they can relate to on many levels, whether your single and looking, or already married. You probably know at least one that girl in your life right now, and if you haven’t yet read the book, I highly recommend you do. I know two that girls personally, and they will be receiving their copies of the book within the next day or two, and I’ll be very interested to hear what they thought of the book after reading it. One of the things that I liked most about Dr. Stark’s book is the self-deprecating humor he uses in describing some of his previous relationship foibles, and how he came up with the humorous phrase, “try to limit your baggage to a carry-on”, when talking about the nutty things some women do when trying to find love.
Editorial Review Excerpt-
“Don’t Be That Girl cuts to the heart of what makes a woman cross into that girl territory and the red flags that tip guys off to the possibility that, yikes, they may be dating that girl. So who is that girl, exactly? She defies a simple definition. She may be the chameleon who turns into a completely different person the second a guy walks into the room. She could be the girl with the ironclad agenda (Agenda Girl) that she’s held to dearly since her first encounter with Modern Bride (and she’ll do anything to make sure her plan materializes). Or she’s the consummate “yes” girl who is always going along with his every wish. If she’s not saying yes, she might very well be a “drama queen” who is always saying no because she can’t seem to live without conflict. Then again, she might not be dramatic at all, just miserable inside, wearing her anger and bitterness as a badge of honor. In short, she’s the girl who’s trying fruitlessly to be someone she’s not—who’s falling victim to the common pitfalls and patterns that lead to that girl behavior—rather than believing in herself, following her passions, and maintaining healthy priorities.”
Fortunately, Dr. Stark’s book is not about slamming women’s odd behaviors, but offers helpful solutions for women to make needed changes in their that girl attitudes and behaviors that will allow them to better their chances of seeing their dreams become realizations. Men are not stupid, and who better than a man to explain to women the very things men find most irritating while dating women, that often causes a man to run in the other direction as soon as possible, never to be seen or heard from again.
One friend of mine in particular, that I’ve known for most of my life, has evolved into a that girl over a period of many years. She just hasn’t realized it yet, and can’t seem to understand why she’s not having much luck in the dating world. I’ve written about my dear friend a couple of times, as she has had some real hard knocks to contend with over the years, which has nearly rendered her a broken soul. Hopefully she will soon find herself again, who she really is inside, and let go of the pain and heartache that has gradually created a that girl within.
Regardless of age, race or marital status, Don’t Be That Girl is an excellent book, written by an educated doctor, who really knows how to “tell it like it is” regarding women’s ill-fated tendencies that work against their goals and dreams. I couldn’t possibly recommend this book for all women any more than this.
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8 responses so far ↓
1 Hungry Mother (45 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 12:28 pm
It’s pretty funny that I get to write the first comment after reading a post that I didn’t understand at all.
I’m going to write my blog tomorrow on the topic: “Two things I really admire about women.” It’s not about what you might think.
2 Lin (793 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 12:45 pm
You didn’t understand it? Hmm, I may have to go back and edit it then.
Dr. Stark’s book talks about women who are either Dying to get married and put the guy they date through an interview on their first date; women who are terribly insecure that it chases men away; women who are “all about the money” trying to find a rich guy no matter what; women who don’t have any sense of who they are inside so they have no confidence whatsoever, etc.
Make sense? I’ll have to go through it again and see where I might edit it some.
3 Anne Florenzano (1 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 1:49 pm
I thought this was a very good book review. I’ve written some, and it’s very hard to do well. You gave some personal context, an excerpt from the book, and I feel like I very much understand what the book is about. Thanks for the great post!
Anne Florenzano’s last blog post..Let’s Hear It For The Social Networks
4 Lin (793 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Thanks Anne, I really loved the book. The humor was great, but it really gave some good points for women to better learn how to deal with the various issues most women have at some point in their lives. And to be able to write it in such a way that makes you smile and laugh out loud, couldn’t make it easier to swallow the advice.
5 LA Headshot Photography (1 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 10:09 pm
SOUNDS LIKE THIS BOOK SHOULD BE REQUIRED READING FOR ALL WOMEN.
BUT BE FOR WARNED , THAT MAN IS OUT THERE TOO! (AND YOU WANT ANY BODY BUT THAT MAN!) TODD
6 Lin (793 comments.) // Jan 17, 2008 at 10:11 pm
LOL Todd, Now let’s see what happens when Don’t Be That Guy comes out!
7 Jason Pearson // Feb 25, 2008 at 6:47 pm
This sounds like a pretty interesting book!
Keep posting and giving us your thoughts! I’m interested to see you opinions on other books and topics! I will be back!
8 Lin (793 comments.) // Feb 25, 2008 at 6:49 pm
Hi Jason! Don’t be THAT girl really is a phenomenal book! My friends that I referred to in this post have both read the book separately and both loved it! They have been highly recommending the book to their other friends as well. I can’t say enough good things about “Don’t Be THAT Girl”.
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