Launching Child Safety and Child Sexual Abuse Series
Of all the articles I have written on this blog about parenting children and teens, getting adult children to be financially responsible for themselves and dealing with abusive and controlling relationships, nothing upsets me more than the subject of child safety and child sexual abuse in our society.
The subject of child safety involves so much more than parents might think, whether it be ensuring children are kept safely secured in car seats or not leaving children in hot cars, keeping potentially poisonous household cleaning products out of children’s reach, to protecting children from child molesters, identifying the signs of child sexual abuse and dealing with the long-term effects of being a victim of child abuse.
April 3, 2008 is Blog Against Sexual Violence Day, and on that day I will begin a series of articles pertaining to child safety issues and bringing greater awareness to the alarming statistics of sexual abuse involving children, and I am inviting you to tell me what child safety topics you would like me to include in the series.
Parents cannot afford to bury their heads in the sand and turn away from the rather dark and depressing subject of learning everything possible about protecting children from becoming a victim of sexual abuse, only to learn the devastating news that their child had been molested or raped perhaps several years prior, and dealing with the agony of not knowing it was occurring.
Identifying Child Sexual Abuse
I recently read an article on a blog that said “sexual abuse is EASY to identify. Everyone, including the victim, knows what’s happening”. It terrifies me to think that anyone could possibly imagine that recognizing and identifying the signs of child sexual abuse is so easy to accomplish, and that “everyone“, including parents would somehow “just know” it was happening to their child.
Even if your relationship with your child is extremely close, with the best communication and open discussion on all topics, you still may not know he or she had at some time been molested or is being abused right now, but the child is too afraid to say anything. Yes, even to you, dear mom and dad.
Many parents are very diligent in searching the online database for pedophiles that have moved into their local area or neighborhood, and are extremely careful to try and prevent their children from becoming the next victim, but the fact remains that searching online for where child molesters are living just isn’t enough, because the person or persons most likely to harm your child are much closer in proximity than you think.
It is not possible to include in just one post everything pertaining to things parents need to know in order to protect children and teens from child molesters, or the astronomical statistics of child sexual abuse, or the well-known fact that the majority of perpetrators are people within the family, close and trusted friends as opposed to complete strangers.
Dispelling Child Safety and Sexual Abuse Myths
There are so many myths and unknowns about child abuse of a sexual nature, that there are scientific and clinical studies currently being done in order to determine whether there is any possible connection between child sexual abuse and the increasing numbers of teen promiscuity and teen pregnancy.
Did you know that the majority of child sexual abuse victims do NOT tell anyone, even when directly asked by a parent or other authority figures? There are many reasons why that is the case, and I will include those reasons in the upcoming series.
Did you know that if your child tends to be rather quiet, shy and reserved, child molesters view them as a prime target because this type child is more easily manipulated into silence when being abused? Children that are more outspoken and assertive in their personalities are less likely to be chosen by pedophiles because of the higher possibility of the abuse being discovered. Just like rapists will seek out someone who appears to be timid and reserved, easier to manipulate and control, as opposed to those who walk with their head held high and are more assertive and outspoken in their personalities.
Who Do You Trust With Your Child?
Can you really trust anyone, including family members and trusted friends, to be alone with your child or take care of them in some way? There was a recent story on the news about a child who was sexually abused, and the perpetrator of this horrific violence was her own grandfather!
Another recent news story discussed how a child was sexually abused by a magician who was invited to entertain at the school he formerly attended, walked out of the school with a young student, molested the girl and returned her back to the school shortly thereafter.
When it comes to profiling a child molester, there is no profile. It can be anyone. Members of your family. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, moms and dads, and complete strangers. Daycare workers, Sunday School teachers, babysitters, boyfriends of adult single mothers, and the list goes on.
Just think about the numerous news reports in recent years about church officials and ministers of various denominations accused, found guilty and sentenced to prison for sexually abusing children in their church, and many of these children never told anyone about the abuse until well into adulthood due to outright fear.
Anyone who thinks that the parents of these children and young adults simply weren’t paying close enough attention to the signs of child sexual abuse in their own children is sorely uninformed and needs to learn the facts, so they themselves don’t look back one day with regret and wish they knew the reality of this growing problem in society before it happens to their own child.
The fact is that child sexual abuse can happen to anyone’s child and at any time, and it’s unfortunate that parents must learn to recognize the signs that suggest their child may have already been sexually abused, and then must begin dealing with the often devastating emotional aftermath, getting the needed help and counseling for their child, and possibly even appearing in a court trial to face their perpetrator.
I am very interested in knowing what topics related to child safety that you would like to see included in the upcoming series, and I ask that you leave a comment letting me know your suggestions. I have no date in mind where the series will end, so these articles will likely go on for some time, mixed in with other informative articles you are sure to enjoy and learn from. Please leave your suggestions in the comments below.
Further Reading:
Signs and Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse
The Profile of A Pedophile: Identifying Characteristics and Behaviors of Child Molesters
Why Don’t Kids Tell? Talk to Your Children about Sexual Abuse
Child Sexual Abuse-Facts vs. Myths
Sexual Abuse Books-Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse-Healing Sexual Abuse
Similar Posts:
- Child Sexual Abuse – Facts VS. Myths
- Sexual Predator Masquerading as Parent Blogger
- Books on Sexual Abuse-Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse-Healing Sexual Abuse
- Should You Tell You Were Sexually Abused? What Happens When You Tell?
- Child Sexual Abuse: Blaming Mothers of Sexually Abused Children
I would be interested in the relationship between childhood sexual abuse and the abused child turning to homosexuality. (if that is within the scope and if it’s not too controversial). Thanks!!
Very, very worthwhile series to write about. Child protection is surely our most important job.
An e trend that bothers me is the amount of times parents use the term “stranger danger”. Eight five percent of child sexual abuse is perpetrated by someone well known to the child – somebody we also know. Our kids are a greater danger from people we trust than from strangers.
Mother blame is another area of concern – I see so many people slamming mothers/fathers/ grandparents, etc for not having done something – far too often the protective carer has no idea of the abuse. Protective parents need support and celebration rather than backlash and blame.
Signs of abuse are just that – signs – indicators that something may not be quite right. If professionals miss it, then often members of the community will too. Training parents in indicators and telling them what to do is an important step in preventing child abuse.
Good for you Lin – are you going to enter this into my cash competition for writing about child safety? Just leave me a comment if you are going to enter: http://imaginif.com.au/~ima33724/blog/2008/03/11/win-5000-cash-write-a-blog-post-about-child-safety/
Lisa,
Thank you for your suggestion! I will definitely look further into this aspect of the sexually abused child, and see what official, authority information and links I can provide for readers.
Megan,
I appreciate your mention about mother blame, as I can personally relate, as my own child was sexually abused by a church minister right in church. This perp was a well known, highly respected member of the church, and was a close family friend for many years. That man (I use the term loosely) changed my son forever, and I can never find forgiveness for what he did to my child.
I become infuriated at the simple suggestion or idea that mothers, fathers, caretakers etc “must have known it was happening, but did nothing”. I know I will include some portions of that story in the series, but even writing this comment to you makes my hands shake with fierce anger. But I will try. Thank you Megan!
[...] child safety focused articles: Baby safety with friendly strangers by Joyce from Keeping Kids Safe Launching Child Safety and Child Sexual Abuse Series Child Safety – Remembering that I am the adult. Adolescent Sexuality by Dr Karen [...]
Lin, my condolences to you, your husband and your family on the death of your father in law.
You are in my thoughts and he is now free.
Lin.. I am will be extremely interested in this series.. thank you for putting it out there for us parents.
Thank you Kim, and please do let me know if a specific topic comes to mind that you’d like me to include. I’m all ears for suggestions to add to all of my own.
Thank you for speaking out about child abuse. As April 3rd approaches, I’d like to tell you about a tool that helps teachers become more effective “mandated reporters” for child abuse. Teachers are our first line of defense against child abuse. But when they notice signs of child abuse, many teachers don’t know how to talk to a student who may be abused. There’s a new online role-playing course that lets teachers rehearse a conversation with a possible child abuse victim, getting expert feedback after every choice. (It was written by a former Minnesota police detective.) There’s a free version and a CEU-credit version for teachers. I hope this is useful to your readers. Please make comments & suggestions!
Geoff, thank you for this information. I will check it out for myself very soon, and any readers who wish to do the same, just click on Geoff’s name and it will take you to the site. Thanks!
Thanks for contributing this important post to this week’s Carnival of Family Life hosted at Beauty and Personal Grooming! Be sure to check out the other wonderful entries this week! And if you would like to host a future edition of the Carnival, you can check out the schedule here and then let me know the week you are interested in.
Have a wonderful Sunday — and Easter (if you are celebrating)!
[...] Lin Burress: Launching Child Safety and Child Sexual Abuse Series at Telling It Like It [...]
[...] child safety focused articles: Baby safety with friendly strangers by Joyce from Keeping Kids Safe Launching Child Safety and Child Sexual Abuse Series Child Safety – Remembering that I am the adult. Adolescent Sexuality by Dr Karen [...]
I’d like to hear about how to talk to your child about sexual abuse…both how to teach them before anything happens, and what to say to them if they have been sexually abused.
Also, I think what to expect with the legal process if you find out your child has been abused would be a good topic.
Thanks for doing this important series!
Lynnae, those are very good ideas. Thanks! I will definitely include those points in coming posts.
I’m not a parent but believe that we all have a responsibility to protect the innocent in our society. There’s much written about the Catholic Church and abuse, does it happen in other churches? How is it being handled and more importantly prevented?
Karen, thank you for your comment. Oh boy does it ever happen in other churches than just the Catholic church.
Not only are children being raped and molested in churches, and I mean while in church, but the hierarchy often hides the facts and evidence in order to protect their own behinds rather than protecting and helping these children. More to come on that topic.
Interesting series, Lin. Looking forward to reading more of what you have to say.
Thanks Ann, I have lots and lots to say on this topic, so there will be many posts covering these type topics.
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Nice article. Being parent, we should be aware of this issue and try our best to protect our own children.
Looking forward to reading your next article regarding the issue.
Thank you Adrian. There are now a few more articles dealing with child sexual abuse since this one published, so I look forward to your comments on those as well.
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