Gold diggers have been around for a very long time, with both men and women looking for an easy meal ticket without having to work hard to provide for their own needs, including gold digging wannabe’s looking for lessons on how to be a gold digger in order to live a high-society, high-maintenance lifestyle with someone else’s hard-earned money. Knowing how to spot a gold digger can protect you and your assets from gold digging piranha, who pretend to genuinely care about you and love you, but are only in the relationship to get whatever they feel entitled to receive from you.
If you’re looking for information on how to be a gold digger, you are in the wrong place. Hit the back button and skidaddle, because your “it’s all about me” gold digging attitude is the bane of every woman’s (or man’s) existence. Gold diggers do not believe their attitude and actions are wrong because ‘truth is relative’ to them; they want it therefore it is right, and it is right because they want it.
Recognizing a gold digger, especially when you’re dating, can save you years of heartache as well as money, property and a wide range of assets. Do you know how to spot a gold digger early into a relationship, perhaps even on the first date, or have you already been taken for a ride by a gold digger and are now married to him or her?
What is a gold digger? According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of a gold digger is “any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man’s bank account than she does about the man. The closest male equivalent is a gigolo or boytoy.” My own definition would be more along the lines of a selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, money-grubbing skank with an extreme sense of entitlement that boggles the minds of those with any sense or moral compass.
Both men and women victims of gold diggers make common mistakes in the early stages of dating such as: buying expensive gifts for him/her, wining and dining at expensive restaurants, giving money to their date to help pay bills etc, usually in an attempt to impress the other person into continuing the new relationship or wanting to take the relationship to the next level before getting to know the real person behind the facade.
10 Things Gold Diggers Want to Know:
- What do you do for a living?
- How much money do you make?
- Where do you live?
- Do you own your own home?
- What kind of car do you drive?
- Do you have a boat? If so, what kind?
- What kind of restaurants do you frequent?
- Where do you like to shop for clothes?
- What kind of watch or jewelry do you wear?
- Do you have any children? If so, how many?
Gold diggers are a walking, talking, calculator. Every question or conversation that remotely relates to money is being used to calculate the percentage of the money that he/she feels entitled to benefit from, because they “deserve” it. Questions about how many children you have may appear to be harmless conversation, but the gold digger wants to determine how much of your time and money will go to the kids and how much time and money will be spent on him or her.
How to Avoid a Gold Digger
If you are looking to meet your soul mate, someone to spend the rest of your life with, take your time in getting to know the person. Beware of anyone who asks for money to pay bills, or even drops hints that they are struggling financially or can’t pay their own car insurance, because they are hoping you’ll take the hint and offer to give them money. Grown men and women should be able to take care of their own financial needs with hard work and effort, and if they’re not doing so due to poor money management or zero job skills, then you’re better off looking elsewhere.
Don’t be quick to pick up the tab at restaurants. Any self-respecting man or woman would come fully prepared to pay for their own meal (rather than running to the bathroom when the bill arrives), and that old cliche about men always having to pay for meals is ludicrous, especially in the early stages of dating. If your date demands or expects to be taken to the fanciest and most expensive fine dining restaurants in town, regardless of whether you can afford it or not, red flags are flying and this gold digging behavior should be taken as a major sign of trouble to come.
Don’t take your date shopping, especially in the early months of the relationship. If and when you do decide to being shopping with him or her, pay close attention to verbal and non-verbal clues that may indicate the tendency to only want to shop in high-end, expensive stores or boutiques. Gold diggers expect to be pampered, catered to and coddled on your dime, rather than spending their own money on the things they need or want.
Find out the girl or guy’s real values, ethics and morals through meaningful conversation, remembering that “if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. Use your God-given intuition and intelligence to choose someone to spend your life with that shares your own moral values, rather than being fooled by the experienced and seasoned gold diggers in this world that are selfishly seeking to extract your money out of your wallet.
Understanding how to spot a gold digger from the get-go will not only save you from being taken financially when dating, but will also save you from marrying a gold digger and possibly losing everything you worked so hard to achieve in life.
Related Posts:
Don’t Be That Girl
Gold Diggers Get Their Due Reward
A Sense of Entitlement
I love the line “selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, money-grubbing skank”.
This article will hopefully help someone avoid a terrible situatation.
Vicky H
hi Lin,
Per Vicky’s comment above and your line “gold digging piranha”, you don’t pull any punches!
I haven’t heard the term “gold digger” in a long time, and enjoyed the article. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve never had enough money to worry about gold diggers (no pity requested here – I’ve had more than enough money to be happy but that’s because I know what happiness is)…
What prompted you to write about these skanky piranhas? ~ Steve (aka Mr Display Booths)
I’ve received emails from both men and women who read the Gold Diggers Get Their Due Reward article, telling me experiences they’ve had with gold diggers, and based upon their messages and questions I felt I should write about how to spot a gold digger to bring greater awareness to this growing problem.
hi Lin,
I just read your earlier article, and it was nicely written as well. I think money can be one of the biggest sources of friction in a marriage, so it’s important to marry a person with the same financial values. Marrying a gold digger would be a nightmare, but I think if one keeps their eyes open, a gold digger is pretty easy to spot. ~ Steve
You’re making great points. May I add a couple?
1. It’s important to meet your date’s friends. Seeing him with his friends tells a lot about him.
2. As a former divorce attorney… always insist on a pre-nup and make sure it is airtight (go to a reputable lawyer).
I came over from Vered’s site. This is such a funny post!!
I’m glad I’m here. I can see that you’ve got very interesting articles as well. Great work! Now on to reading more….
Evelyn
Hi Evelyn, it’s nice to meet you. Welcome to the site. I look forward to your comments in the future.
Thank you for publishing this. A friend of mine fell prey to a gold digger. He met a woman whose income was about 1/4 of his. They didn’t last.
When it came time to determine child support, his share of child support ended up being about 2/3rds of the gal’s regular take-home pay. He also pays 100% of her health insurance and only gets to see her every other weekend and one day a week.
Meanwhile, his ex continues to manage her money poorly and has found another man with deep pockets to finance her materialistic desires.
Elliott, gold diggers come in all colors, shapes and sizes, male and female, so no one is immune to the possibility of meeting or dating a gold digger. Marrying a gold digger is a whole other nightmare, since getting rid of a gold digger usually costs a lot more money than what was spent throughout the entire relationship. Sad, but true.
Golddiggers aren’t the worst thing around – I met one, and I’m pretty happy with the situation – well, she has been having some personal issues so recently it has been more costly than beneficial – but for a good long time, I was more than satisfied with it.
A good, quality gold-digger can be a boon to certain kinds of men. A strong, successful man in a highly-demaning career can’t be dealing with a high-maintenance, family oriented, career-wanting woman. He needs a woman who appreciates what he has to offer ( a little time and a lot of money) and is willing to contribute what is unavailable to the man through other means (sex, love, personal attention).
A successful wealthy man can hire housekeepers, nannies, chauffers, butlers, gardners – whatever he needs or wants to keep his personal lifestyle running while he spends 90% of this time building wealth. In the 10% of time that he takes for himself, he doesn’t want headaches – he wants a beautiful, attentive woman who is glad to see him a little at a time, and is always ready for him.
People, keep in mind that being a good gold-digger is hard work. You give up a part of yourself in order to become a part of someone else who you are only HOPING to fall in love with. You constantly worry about your looks, your ability to be happy and cheerful, whether you will be convincing in bed, at social events, or wherever else your so-called “victim” may ask you to “perform.”
A wealthy man like myself appreciates what the gd has to offer. I’ve given mine hell over her inability to hold up her end in the past – I didn’t mean to, and I’m sorry I did it, but it happened. Now I’m paying for that “mistake” – not because I have to, but because I want to. It’s cheaper and less time-demanding to keep this going with her than to go out and find another one.
A woman who marries for love and equality in a relationship expects equality in all things, including decisions about lifestyle, friends, social activities, and so on. That’s something I can do without right now.
Art, I’ve heard from a few men by email since writing this article who have said they once felt like you do. But they learned a hard and expensive lesson over time that gold diggers don’t really care about the people they’re involved with, despite their many claims of “love”. It really is all about the money and what they can and often do get out of the wealthy person. I hope this doesn’t happen to you.