What is video game addiction? Are video games addictive? Are you a video game addict? Video game addiction is often referred to as video game overuse, a compulsive or excessive use of computer games and/or video games. Video game addicts are believed to exhibit the same psychological addictive behaviors as gambling addiction, often described as an impulse control disorder.
The 2007 study by the American Medical Association reviewing video game addiction concluded that “more research and studies are needed to provide conclusive evidence that video game addiction is a disorder.” Increased pressure is being placed upon the American Psychiatric Association (APA) to include “Internet/video game addiction” in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), the standard diagnostic text used by psychiatrists worldwide.
Research by Stanford University School of Medicine in 2008 shows video games do have addictive characteristics, and a Harris Interactive Poll released in April 2007 showed that 8.5% of youth gamers in the United States could be “classified as pathologically or clinically addicted to playing video games.”
Are your children addicted to video games? Are you addicted to playing video games? Is your boyfriend or husband addicted to video games, or perhaps your girlfriend or wife? Are you an adult with an internet addiction that consumes most if not all of your time, perhaps creating problems in your personal relationships, marriage or job?
Research into computer game addiction or video game addiction statistics shows that men and boys are more likely to become addicted to video games (if they aren’t already), versus the percentage of girls and women becoming addicted to video games, but the numbers of female video game addicts are rising. If you don’t know or don’t understand video game ratings, how games are rated and the effect the ratings should have on your video game playing habits or purchases, it’s time to become fully aware.
Signs of Addiction
Here are some symptoms or signs of video game addiction as well as computer game addiction to help determine if your children are addicted to video games, or if you and/or your boyfriend, husband, girlfriend or wife are video game addicts.
For Children:
- Most of their “free time”, non-school hours are spent on the computer or playing video games.
- Fatigue; tendency to fall asleep in school.
- Not keeping up with homework assignments/not turning in homework on time.
- Worsening grades.
- Lying about computer or video game use so computer or video game privileges aren’t taken away.
- Choosing the computer or playing video games rather than spending time with friends or family.
- Dropping out of activities such as social groups, clubs or sports.
- Irritable, cranky or agitated (withdrawal symptoms) when not playing a video game or on the computer.
For Adults:
- Obsession or preoccupation about computer games or playing video games on a video game console excessively
- Neglecting personal relationships with friends and family to spend more time playing video games
- Difficulty keeping up with personal or professional responsibilities due to increased hours playing video games. Have you ever “called in sick” to stay home to play your favorite game?
- Lying to others about computer or video game use. Do you sneak time to play games, perhaps late at night while others are asleep? Has someone close to you, perhaps your significant other, ever criticized you for spending too much time playing video games rather than spending time with them?
- While not spending time on the internet or playing video games, do you feel angry, agitated, irritable or depressed? Do you experience withdrawal symptoms when not playing video games?
- Do you spend most of your time thinking or wishing you could be playing your favorite game or surfing the web?
- Do you become so involved in playing video games that you sometimes neglect to eat, sleep, or bathe?
- Do you ever experience physical symptoms such as backaches, dry eyes or headaches after playing video games? Have you been diagnosed with carpal tunnel syndrome or experience symptoms of carpal tunnel?
Let’s get real, shall we? If you are truly convinced that your teenagers or young children are addicted to video games or computer games, it’s your job as the parent to get your kids off the computer and off the video game console, providing them ample opportunity for active play and natural exercise in and outside of the home.
Make no mistake, video game addiction is a real addiction and if you are a parent that is concerned about your home-grown video game addict, it’s up to you to parent your children and closely monitor and limit their gaming activities. Massively multiplayer online role-playing games (MMORPG’s) are designed to be addictive.
Video game makers and marketers are counting on people to become addicted to the games! Cha-Ching! It’s a lot of money in their pockets, and a lot of money out of your pockets. Let your children whine, cry and complain all they want about placing restrictions and limits on their game use, but be the parent.
One of the effects of children addicted to video games is the increase in childhood obesity amongst young children and teens due to excessive amounts of time spent leading a more sedentary lifestyle (and poor eating habits), amongst other physical, emotional and mental problems associated with too much time being spent playing video games.
Be the parent of your children, not their friend. If the video game problem in your home is so bad that you feel your child is a “video game addict”, or if your children spend too much time watching television, shut it down and get your children involved in other activities that encourage and promote active play and that provides more than finger and thumb exercises from video game controls.
Adult Video Game Addicts
Are you an adult addicted to video games? How does your significant other feel about the amount of time you spend playing video games, rather than spending needed time with him or her? Do you spend most of your free time as an internet addict, surfing the web or participating in various message boards, forums or chat rooms so much so that your relationship or marriage is in serious jeopardy?
Have you considered (or do you even care) that your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband or wife may consider your video game addiction or internet addiction as a relationship deal breaker and may be considering ending the relationship? Remember, “video game addicts are believed to exhibit the same psychological addictive behaviors as gambling addiction, often described as an impulse control disorder.” Gambling addiction is on the list of relationship deal breakers, and you’d be wise to consider the effects your addiction has on your relationship or marriage before it’s too late.
Treatment for Video Game Addiction
Video game addiction treatment centers are popping up in countries like China, South Korea, the Netherlands and the United States in an effort to provide help for video game addiction. Detox for video game addiction is designed to help video game addicts learn how to effectively eliminate their compulsive, addictive behaviors much like those addicted to gambling and/or alcohol abuse.
Video game addiction books
I can swear by this article. My teenage nephew is totally addicted to video games. He saves up his monthly allowance and gets loads of them and whiles away all this free time in front of the TV. And since both his parents are working, there is no one to monitor him constantly. I fear if he can ever get off this addiction.
I guess the internet age is taking toll. Its about time we encouraged outdoor games and activities like in good ol’ days!
Indeed, well said good sir.
so if someone plays outdoor games non-stop, are they outdoor game addicts? Should we open a clinic to help these people?
I actually like video games. I might be an addict. I’m not sure. My wife posted this article on my facebook wall followed by negative comments because she thinks I’m an addict. I felt that was not very nice.
I don’t feel that VGs effects my life too negatively. I mostly use it to unwind after a day of work. However, I do possess many of the “symptoms” above. If there is nothing going on in the evening, I’ll play a game for 3 – 4 hours.
I’ve learned that my step dad reads newspapers, magazines and books for about 5 hours a day. Addict? Clinic?
There are a lot of unknowns here.
Victor, it’s not uncommon at all for the video game addict not to feel as if there is a problem. Many times it’s the wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend or parent of the addict who recognizes the symptoms and tries to help make the addict aware of the effects. The fact that your wife shared this article with you, along with her comments about what she feels is an addiction to video games, it’s pretty clear to see that she is effected negatively by your “there is nothing going on in the evening” after working all day addiction. Work all day, then come home to the wife/family and play games for three or four hours, takes a lot of time away from personal relationships with those who love you and deserve your time and attention.
I agree with Lin, what she stated above is agreeable and true.
I have a little brother who spends about 8-12 hours on video games, not including weekends. He goes to school, comes home and immediately plays on the computer or video games the rest of the day. He hardly eats, hardly bathes, and doesn’t go out unless invited several times. He is failing his classes because he is so involved by his video game playing. He sits in the dark and rarely shows interest in the rest of the family. He rarely brings up a conversation unless it’s video game or internet related, and he doesn’t show much interest socially. The saddest thing is, he wasn’t always this way. He started playing video games when he was 4 years old, and he only progressed since then. He would play for maybe a half hour, and that would turn into two hours, and that turned into four or five hours, and so on and so forth until it progressed to 8-12 hours. He sleeps in his clothes from exhaustion where ever he is playing games at the time, he doesn’t make his own food, doesn’t want to drive or leave the house, and he doesn’t even do his own laundry – he’ll wear it dirty until someone does it for him. It’s a sad thing, but it has to start somewhere. My parents should have caught it earlier and done something about it, thank your wife that she is communicating her discomfort now and setting a better example than enabling parents or spouses that just ignore the problem.
You are not alone Nikki.. I am very concerned about my brother. He is 20 years old and he a Hermit. He doesn’t care anything more than the video games and his dog. There are days that we don’t talk at all and that is just because he is closed in his room playing video games all day long.. 4 Hours is nothing for him.. I estimate that he plays between 10 and 16 hours per day. I love him, but i am not his father… Sadly my mom and dad don’t do anything about it due to his BAD temperament. He doesn’t drive, he doesn’t have a single real friend (Just the internet buddies), he doesn’t clean his room, he doesn’t eat well, he doesn’t take showers sometimes, he doesn’t talk with the family.. even when they visit us from other countries.. etc etc….. He goes to the college with his computer, and when he have a free time, he just play, until mommie is there for him.
So i don’t think Victor got an addiction right now , but can get into it. Instead of that, the brother of Nikki and mine, are real addicted Video gamers.. I don’t really know what to do. Nikki if you see this message, please try to contact me armandodanielb2@gmail.com, cause i don’t know how to act like a parent and i don’t know what to do.. So far, you are the only person i know in a similar condition.
yep. video game addict in denial.
Well, sir, if your wife has to post a comment on your facebook to get through to you, then you are in fact an addict.
My 5 year old nephew and younger brother are extreme gaming addicts. I remember my brother playing the original nintendo console in the 80s and soiling himself rather than pausing the game to use the restroom. My sister in law uses the TV as a babysitter, putting my nephew in front of anything that will keep him busy and out of her hair. She moved the computer into his bedroom just to keep him in there. I know first hand the problems associated with overuse of video games. I think that kids who play video games excessively, primarily boys, grow up lacking self esteem and the work ethic needed to succeed in life. My nephew and brother are not physically active at all. My brother didn’t even learn how to ride a bike until one day my dad took his nintendo and game boy away. It’s a serious problem plaguing our society and just makes us weaker as people.
I am a Video Game Addict. The worst part is I know it but I continue to play games. But my addiction is rather odd because I love going outside. When a friend invites me to go somewhere (which is not often, usually once every month or less), I would be glad to go. Without thinking twice as long as it doesn’t interfere with my school time. My grades have dropped even though the material I learn in class is in my head, I still don’t hand in work in time. I commute three hours to get to my campus and I do enjoy traveling. I love walking around places I haven’t been, I love talking to friends in person, I like to socialize. But when it comes to coming home, I just put my stuff away and sit on the computer. I don’t get hungry much anymore (not that I ever did) and sometimes it feels like playing the game I like playing is a “need.” Sometimes it seems as if it comes before homework until the last few hours when I noticed I need to do my homework. I share the computer with two of my brothers, they rarely use it nowadays but when I give the computer to them, I feel like there’s nothing else to do. People have told me, “Just go out” or, “Do something else.” That’s not a great answer for me . . . I’m always being told to just do something else but do what? I’ve actually gone out and just traveled around the city only traveling. It’s not that it’s boring, the problem is that there’s no objective. I know that I’ll only go outside if there is somebody waiting for me, or if I know for a fact where I’m going, what I’m going to do, etc. What really bothers me is that I hate that feeling when I stop playing the game. I don’t say, “Dang, I want to play more.” I say, “I just wasted my time.” I hate GETTING ON the computer but in my house, I can’t find anything else to do. There’s nobody waiting for me outdoors to meet up, not even if I arrange an event which I’ve tried a few times. Everybody is busy with their significant other or in a different or better event. I do bathe normally, I only missed one class because I left home late and missed half the class and decided to go back home (Yes, I left my house and halfway to class, I went back home.) I’ve tried restricting myself by uninstalling my game (I lasted a week). I’ve tried finding other hobbies but of course, my game came first and took up most of the time. Right now, I bought a new game for the Playstation 3. It takes me off the computer outside of my locked, dark and quiet room but it’s to play a different game which I think is not an Addicting Treatment but it does help me control it. If there’s one thing I hate the most . . . I hate it when I have to do homework in the computer. My poison is just clicks away from my homework.
Victor, is your step dad retired? 5 hours a day reading newspapers is exessive. ANYTHING you are doing that is taking up that many hours of your waking time that isnt GIVING to your family or your finances is a compulsion and should be put in check. My children and I had our lives uprooted, lost our home due to a gaming compulsion of my significant other and he lost us who had the same attitude that you do and the two similiarities here I notice is that your wife is crying out to you about this and you are ignoring it.
Which is more important to you? If it is hurting your loved ones, then obviously it is an issue, even if it isnt an issue to YOU. As with any addiction or compulsion, the user alot of the time doesnt think or admit they are overindulging. With the utmost respect to you sir, in this subject alone, you portray yourself and seem to be behaving as a selfish narcissitic person with all the tell-tale signs of addiction.
I have a suggestion for you; IF you dont have a problem controlling the gaming, perhaps you could placate your wife and try a little experiment and attempt to completely stop for, say, a week and see how you feel. Only you will know inside what you go through. IF you have symptoms of withdrawl, as with an addict then you may have to reconsider your standpoint, sir, because this is a VERY real affliction affecting many and my life was destroyed by it because of someone else who had a very similar attitude as yours.
Good luck to you and to your family..
What concerns me more than the quantity of time being spent with video games is the quality – or total lack thereof – of many of the games being played the most.
I have no qualms with Rock Band and the like, but more often, the games that’re being played – and quite often by inappropriately very young children – are the gratuitously-violent and ultra-realistic first person shooters. There are people I work with who actually laugh & boast with pride about how proficient their Kindergarten-aged children are at games like Grand Theft Auto, Gears of War, and Call of Duty.
These games are desensitizing children to horrific and needless violence and gore. These aren’t the squiggly space aliens that we paid quarters to shoot 20 years ago – today’s video game opponents are wounded, show emotion, bleed, and die in convincingly realistic ways. Maybe these are useful for training actual soldiers, but as entertainment for 5 year old children? That’s just reprehensible!
Maneet, it’s very sad that parents are not doing what is necessary to monitor and limit the enormous amounts of time kids are playing video games. Video games (and television) have become the babysitter. Parents use the excuse of working full time jobs to not pay close attention to what their children are doing, whether it is spending too much time playing video games (including violent video games) or any other activities.
Some parents are clueless about the games their kids are playing, they don’t read the rating on the video games and they certainly aren’t preventing their kids from playing violent video games. Then they wonder why little Johnny is “suddenly beating up his little brother or sister”. Ugh.
Rob, violent video games are a real concern, or at least should be something parents concern themselves about. Unfortunately, some parents just don’t pay any attention. I know a parent who has a little video game addict at their house, and this kid goes into a royal conniption fit melt-down tantrum when the parents say it’s time to go to bed and has to turn off the game.
Good grief, be the parent and deal with it.
Yeah, there’s just no excuse for not being aware of the video games that your children are playing – it isn’t like they earned the money for this stuff on their own. If you’re the financier, you’re in control. Period. Step up or stop buying stuff.
My little guy is way too young for me to have to worry about this yet – fortunately, he doesn’t even like to watch TV (and I’m working hard to keep it that way!) – but part of what should make this easier to deal with when the time comes is that he does not – and will not – have his own TV. There’s one TV in the house and it’s in the living room where it can be easily monitored. And there are no TVs or DVDs in our cars, no protable DVD players to be found anywhere in the house… I just don’t believe in all of this techno-crap for children. He’ll have his entire adult life to be immersed in the digital – he’ll only have a little while to be a kid and I’d like for that time to be mostly analog.
Rob, isn’t it amazing how many parents think having those tv’s and dvd players running in their cars is the greatest thing since sliced bread? Anything to keep their children quiet I suppose. And the enormous problem of having tv’s, dvd players, computers and video game consoles in their kids bedrooms? That’s ridiculous!
Technology should never replace good parenting and setting boundaries with children. It tends to become more of “the tail wagging the dog” when it comes to who is in control at home. In many homes, parents have completely given up on their responsibility to be the parent, opting instead to be friends with their children.
You are right. It’s unfortunate that there are so many stupid people in this world, otherwise they wouldn’t be using “distractions” for their children.
My girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend loved videogames, hence I get a lot of crap if I even look at one. I’m not a big gamer, but it’s a little annoying.
I understand your frustration. It’s not like YOU were the gammer, however, her trust is broken with vidoegames.
I am a call of duty widow, and if this ever comes to a breaking point, all others in the future will hopefully not have to suffer. Think of this like you girlfriends ex was a drug addtict. Same thing, differant medium. She must care for enough to not want something like that happen again. Take it with stride, it may take a bit for her to trust that YOU won’t use.
amen
i understand her point of view. it really gets sickening. my husand is a video game addict and he gets really mean about those games.
Hi Tom, moderation is the key component for anyone playing video games. Not all video games are necessarily bad or violent etc, but since video games are created and designed to become addictive, relationships and marriages can and do suffer.
I’ve developed a decidedly anti-technology slant over the past several years – which usually takes people by complete surprise since I’ve worked my entire adult life in the I.T. field in either the banking or medical industries.
It’s not that I want to technologically handicap children, but I’d prefer to downplay the techno gadgets & gizmos, email & IMs, and Internet & video games in favor of putting that same fervor toward helping kids learn to think creatively and solve problems. I’d like to see that we give kids a firm foundation in the real world before plunging them into the digital one. I believe it’s that, not technological literacy, will ensure that they’ll be able to tackle anything that comes their way.
A little off-topic, I know, but I urge you to download & read Tech Tonic: Towards a New Literacy of Technology from the Alliance for Childhood. It’s a little lengthy, but crammed with thought-provoking stuff about the financial & political connections between education officials & technology vendors.
Are you implying that all video games don’t teach kids to be creative in any way?
I like your blog. Very interesting topics.
As for videos being addicting, oh yes. I did not need a study to find that out. My own personal experience with online games and the pre-computer games (like pinball and Pacman) that showed up in game rooms or truckstops. Plus two girls that we have raised that are both addicted to computers and to games even more.
Many years ago when my husband and I first got on the net, we played RPG (role playing games). In those days, it was text only but the draw was there nevertheless. We printed out all the directions, all the weapons, all the stats on individuals and groups or clans. Had that stuff posted all over the room on the walls. We knew the site upside down and forward. Amazingly, we did not get into it as heavily as others but it was on our minds 24/7. In fact, I found myself dreaming in green text on black. Unbelievable.
Well, we moved out of state and it took us about two months to get back online. We desperately pled with the big shot on that particular game to “save” our hard won characters so that when we got back, we would not have to work so hard again.
By the time we actually got back to the game, it had no hold over us anymore. We played for a couple of months but it was so boring that we could not figure out why we wanted to be in it so desperately before.
So the reality is that, yes without a doubt, computer games are addictive. I simply don’t need that study to tell me that. And if the kids are in any way wrapped up in games, then they are addicted. Period.
I have a niece who is 15 and wrapped up in Alvin and the Chipmunks. Now you would think that’s not that big a deal until you see that she thinks of nothing else but that and a guy at school. You would think that the guy get first place but, no, Alvin or rather Simon does. She prefers a particular chipmunk. This is addictive behavior regardless of whether it’s a game or something else. So it’s not JUST games, it can be almost anything…chatrooms, videos, characters. Anything.
Thanks for posting this! Very informative and it reminded me of my own behavior from the past. Glad I got out of it.
hi Lin,
Great post about video game addiction. I guess I’m lucky that growing up I had better uses for my quarters and never enjoyed playing PacMan because I didn’t like the constant stress when playing because I was worrying I was about to be eaten. Still, video game addiction is a big and real problem, and I see it in my teenage nephews. They could benefit from reading your post, except I think they’re too busy playing their online games…
~ Steve (aka the Trade Show Guru)
PS. Your posts are like a 4 course meal. They take a while to get through, and one can’t help but feel full when they’re done…
I started playing computer games at the age of 5, and eventually got up to play 16hrs a day during highschool. I was a serious video games addict. Perhaps it was the challenge, the comradery or the feeling of being in control. Whatever it was, it was addicting.
Many would say that I’ve wasted a large part of my life, and I certainly believe it myself. Though I also believe that my video game training enabled me to achieve a focus and problem-solving ability better than ever before. The focus required for the most demanding video games is nothing short of a meditative state itself.
Now that i’m older, I hardly ever play video games, but sometimes when I need to get serious, I can still call up that same ultra focus just as back then.
Hi Steve, video game addiction is a serious problem and it’s amazing to me the number of parents who say “my children are addicted to video games”. Really? And who allowed that to happen?
P.S. Posts/articles about this length do very well with visitors and readers.
Herb, many people would probably agree with you that playing video games is a complete waste of time. I do believe there are some benefits to playing the games, but it’s important to carefully consider the amount of time (obsession) being spent as well the type of games being played or chosen. Violent video games are a very real problem in society, and parents must start paying attention and take notice of what their kids are playing. And, how these kids are able to get their hands on these games in order to start playing them.
hi Lin,
I think Google loves content, and there’s plenty of it in this post and on your blog. I’ll be interested to see how this post and your post on “How to Quit Smoking” do. Maybe I should write a post on “Are you addicted to where you show up on Google?” I’m not sure what the treatment is though…
~ Steve (aka the Trade Show Guru)
ho hum, sigh, another video game addict? lol.
LOL Steve, guilty as charged. Yep, I am addicted to where my posts show up in G. Isn’t everyone? No? Really? Wow!
I’m addicted to stats. I love looking at the numbers of views. Is there a name for this problem? Addiction? Issue? *grin*
Lin, besides of video game addiciton, there are many other addiciton, such as the internet surfing addiciton, where the users will start to feel uncomfortable, frustrated or lose their temper, if they didn’t online in the last 24 hours!
As a high school counsellor and Average Joe, I totally agree with your thoughts about the video game addicts.
I witnessed the symptoms you have listed above in adults, fortunately, neither me nor my friends allow children to play video games. But I’ve noticed that just watching Cartoons on TV works the very same way – like obsession… we’ve switched to reading books, no modern aggressive cartoons allowed, only good old ones
I agree. My son is only 2 years old, but out of most of his friends, he watch’s TV the least amount, and we read books each and everyday. He brings me his fav’s all the time
)The TV is a give or take thing for him. I am proud of that, because I helped create it, and when the TV get turned off there is no reaction. We listen to music and watch old cartoons, and only specific new catoons that I feel are age appropriate. I may be strick, but he is 2 and his father is a video game addict. I will not even allow my son in the basement with his father when he is gaming. So, to say the least, I have all the control for my son’s entertainment. I am on a mission to save my husband and refuse to allow this behaviour in my son (period!)
Yep been married 2.5 yrs. Hubby is addicted, tonight is the first time i have googled additions. Hope this will be the first step in changing our lives. I refuse to have/or even think about having children because of this. Good for you for protecting your child!!
Hi Wynne,
You’ve got to decide how you’re going to live. Your husband will only get help if and when he decides to do so. I’ve been learning that my efforts to “save him” were working against me. I used every tactic in the book. Since I’ve been seeing a counselor, which started out with how to deal with a gaming addict, I’ve learned about my codependency issues. If you think you can change him by whatever means, please read “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie. I only wish I had learned this about myself decades ago. Good luck with everything. It’s not an easy road.
~Eli
Eli,
I’m glad that I decided 2 read most of these comments. I have a boyfriend that I now believe is an game addict and well have thought so for sometime now. I looked up gaming addiction with the hopes of finding some way to salvage my relationship and try and find a way of helping him. Reading what u wrote today has given me something very real to think about! Most of the time we’re so worried about helping others we often forget about ourselves and our own issues. Thank you for opening my eyes!!!
Addiction to video games, television, computer games, or simply spending too much time on the internet are real addictions for children and adults. Moderation and setting limits is necessary to avoid becoming addicted to video games or anything else a person spends too much time on.
Hi Lin – years ago I used to be so addicted to forums. I was ill at the time and rarely left the house, so I guess it was my chance to talk to people.
But i would stay up really late to do so, as many forum members were from the States so there was a time difference.
Once I started getting out of the house again and seeing real people, I killed my addiction.
Hi Cath, many people could relate to your previous addiction and I’m glad you were able to break your addiction to forums.
I laughed when a friend of my daughter’s said the other day that he thinks I am addicted to the computer/internet. Umm, buddy, I have an online business website/blog to write for, respond to comments and/or questions amongst other things. That does not equate to having an internet addiction. Yeeesh.
Hello, My name is Jenna and I am in a relationship where my significant other has a gaming addiction. I have been trying to search the web looking for possible treatment or counseling centers for online/video gaming addictions. I live in the MN area. Does anyone know of a counseling or treatment center in MN or where I could look for one?
Just a little advice if you’re not married to him make sure he gets treatment before you get married. I’ve been married for 2.5 yrs and I’ve never been lonlier in my life!!! And yes in college he promised he just played to kill time, once we’re married I’ll have no time to play games, I’ll have better things to do! B-S and I fell for it.
Jenna,
If you aren’t married to him, not only make sure he is in treatment, but is working the recovery steps and has been doing so for quite a while before you think of letting him put a ring on your finger. You may be sad at the thought of losing him, but believe me, the heartbreak only gets worse.
~Eli
Hi Jenna,
Finding treatment centers for video game addiction is kinda like searching for a needle in a haystack, huh? I did some searching and came up this one:
National Institute on Media and the Family
Street Address:
606 24th Avenue South, Suite 606
Minneapolis, MN 55454
1-888-672-KIDS (672-5437)
Perhaps they will be able to help or at least direct you to further local options. Good luck!
According to the internet, this closed in 2009. What a loss!
Thanks Eli for the heads up. It’s a shame to hear that, as there is obviously tremendous need for such treatment centers.
Thank you Lin… I really appreciate it. It seems as if the Center’s are just beginning to come out or something like that, since it’s quite hard to find one especially searching online. Thank you for your effort and I will definitely look into that one.
Thanks again, I really appreciate it, and hopefully it’ll help him out.
Wow, there’s actually treatment centers for this???
an interesting thing to note is that there are several companies out there that actually higher psychologists and DESIGN their games to be addictive, by taking advantage of latent OCD tendencies in the brain…
i won’t name any names
Hi Ben,
Yes, there really are “video game addiction treatment centers”. From what I’ve read about these centers, they typically follow the guidelines of the 12-step program for alcoholics and drug addicts.
Hi! Thanks for the article it helped convince my little brother that he was addicted. My brother and I are still young (under 15) and we sometimes think that we are addicted to videogames. We play a lot of online mutiplayer games and Nintendo console based games. I do understand I need other hobbies and I’ve taken up photography and story writing, but my brother still plays videogames 24/7. If there is an up side to playing videogames its that I can really concentrate (once I got off the games). I think that I played videogames a lot because my family does not have cable (hence there is rarely anything good on the five channels we do have) and whenever I tell any of my school mates that I do not know what that show is because I don’t have cable they say
“Oh you poor girl!”
Playing videogames is almost as necessary as cable nowadays to be in the loop at school.
Anyway, as a child I feel that kids should have the choice to play a videogame or two but not all day, and that they should not be pushed to play sports instead. Maybe they’re a little artist on the inside instead of the next NFL player.
I just wanted to say a big THANKS again for the article. I’m going to print it out and stick it on the videogames in the house and the computers.
Hi Simone! Thanks for stopping by and letting me know this article about video game addiction has been helpful to you and your brother. There are sooo many other fun activities that kids can do to occupy themselves and enjoy being young, that promote living active lives rather than being a couch potato than easily lead to obesity. Thanks Simone!
“Information in these books on video game addiction also discuss the increasing number of violent video games and the harmful effects these games may have on children and teens that parents may or may not be aware of.” this statement invalidates this entire page of videogame addictions and solutions. it has been proven countless times by psychologists and police studies alike that there is NO RELATION what-so-ever with video games and the increased statistics in violent crimes.
Hi Al, I realize that there is ongoing controversy over whether violent video games have any relation to violent crimes committed, or not.
I disagree that the statement you quoted voids the entire article in its entirety. The numerous books on video game addiction and solutions do not just cover the subject of violent video games, but these books do offer advice, ideas and suggestions on what to do if you or someone you know is thought to be addicted to video games.
I disagree that there’s no coorelation between video games and the increase in violent crimes. Video games and movies have grown shockingly more gratuitous, featuring brutal violence and needless gore. Just look at some of the “classic” movies to see how much the representation of violence has been reshaped. You wouldn’t have even seen a trickle of blood when John Wayne or Kirk Douglas got shot. Now you see the bullet enter, burst organs, and blow out a fist-sized hole on the character’s back.
People have become desensitized to horrific and graphic violence the likes of which only a police officer or ER doctor would’ve previously ever been exposed to. It’s bad enough that this affects adults, but when children no longer are shocked by strongly-violent acts, what’s to deter them from engaging in those?
When our society has pre-teen children firing handguns (some good friends of ours took their 5 year old boy to the firing range to shoot a handgun recently), you can’t possibly fail to see a link back to video games.
Good Lord, where’s Mayberry when we need it most?
Hi Rob, the debate goes on it seems. I really believe that regardless of how many clinical or scientific studies that may be done, there will always be those who refute the findings no matter what.
All it takes is someone who reads one single word they don’t like or agree with in study results to have the opinion that violent video games have nothing to do with violent behavior. I really doubt there will ever be widespread acceptance of this.
I am a mother of a 23 year old daughter who doesn’t go out with friends but has been beta testing video games, she is in her room all the time, doesn’t work, sorta looks for work and it is hurting my relationship and stressing us out. I do not pay for her internet that is paid by one of her friends (who is from the states and the time zone is different so she is up all night). I am scared for her. Question what do I do to get her out, besides yelling, cause we both will just shut down. I am considering telling her if she doesn’t get a job in 2 months I will cut off her hydro? I have been enableing her to a point but have no controll over the person that is paying for it. If this was a set paycheck than she is working but it is not. I am starting to not want to come home from work because of the stress in the household! There is work out there, she has an excellent resume, just to picky. My husband says to give her a time limit to get a job, then kick her out, I am not that kind of person and do not want to do that, since we are in a large city and she doesn’t have any friends her. Please suggest something, I am at my wits end and my daughter needs to spread her wings!
Hi Patricia, there is a lot of information on this site in regards to “enabling” grown adult children. What you are describing as far as your daughter’s video game obsession is just the beginning, and I invite you to take the time to carefully read the articles about helping vs enabling grown adult children and I assure you that you’ll find a lot that sounds familiar in your situation.
Many parents like yourself are struggling with the issue of “helping or enabling” their grown children, and the comments and questions about specific situations continue, so I suggest reading those articles and checking out the comment sections as well. You are not alone with this struggle. I look forward to hearing from you in the comment sections of those articles, and other parents including myself will likely respond to your comment/question, since there are some who have checked the “subscribe to comments” box and respond to new questions/comments left there.
Thank you, very much…..look forward to reading this!
*Reply to the first post*
“Call of Duty” does not belong in the list with “Gears of War” or “Grand Theft Auto”.
Sure it can still desensitize you, but not as bad.
And Rock Band and the like still have the potential with women wearing revealing clothes.
And amen to MMORPG’s being addictive.
Beta testing games?
Do you know what game it is?
Most likely it would be an MMORPG. The most addicting of them.
I am trying to get my brother to tone down on the hours he spends playing a MMORPG.
I admit I play it sometimes too. But I am not addicted. He just retaliates saying, “You play this too so don’t be a hypocrite!”.
We share a room (he is 12 I am 16) and he takes my laptop and plays his game! One night he asks if he can use my laptop and bugs me about it. I got so annoyed that I yelled so loud, No! (Woke everyone up) but I got to him.
On average I spend maybe 8 hours a week playing a game. So totals to one hour a day or so.
Not a liberty to say Joshua which games she plays but she is an adult, and enjoys very much playing and I have played with her too, although she is much better! It isn’t MMORPG.
im doing a reasearch for video game addiction, i feel though as a video game addict my self that its not that bad… i mean because of videogames i finally know what i want to do in my life, i realy want to be a computor animator, and my grades arnt failing its a B average, so i hope that this site wont make you hate video games and take it from your child, if he or she is addictied, trust me its like you cant stop thinking about it. i would recoment limmiting video games: like another person said before me that there nefew spends all there money on videos games. i think the parents should make him save half and the rest he can spend on video games, also i feel limmiting videogames to 2 hours on weekday and 5 hours max on weekend. and if they have good grades then they should be rewarded extra hours…
I have a 21 year old son who plays war craft video game 24/7 , he does not want to work or go to school , he does not have a girlfriend , he make every excuse not to do either, I know I am enabling him by letting him life in the house for free, I want to put him out of the house but I think he needs help, I put him in counselling but I don’t know what I need to do for this particular problem. This is so stressful and at my wit end, any suggestions?
Hi Azora,
What you are describing in regards to your son is a subject I’ve discussed at length on this site. While it may be true that your son is addicted to video games and plays video games 24/7, the enabling has something to do with it. He’s not working, doesn’t feel any need to work or have a life outside of playing video games. Living in your house for free as well.
There are of course video game addiction books mentioned at the end of this article to help parents and the addicted persons to learn more about how to stop being addicted to video games or online gaming. In some states, video game addiction treatment centers are continuing to pop up as well, so you may want to look further into those. Problem is…, if he isn’t willing to even consider the possibility that he may be addicted to playing games and isn’t willing to fully participate in any treatment programs that may be available in your area, you should really consider the effects that enabling your grown son has on him and on you.
I strongly recommend that you carefully consider and read the articles on this site about helping vs enabling grown adult children, and I truly believe you’ll find where the crux of this problem lies and how to put a stop to it.
Need creates motivation, and as long as his wants, needs and whims are taken care of for him, why would he ever want to stop what’s working so well….for him? Think about that, and read those articles. You can put him in a variety of counseling sessions, but it really boils down to him wanting change, and you as the parent putting your foot down and making it so your son has no choice but to grow up and begin behaving like an independent, responsible adult.
Help – I thought my 15 yr old son was suffering from depression but have now realized that the main culprit is video game addiction. Im reading everything I can on the topic. He is failing school, has no social contact, is irritable all the time and doesnt sleep. He knows we are angry and will take the computer away – then he runs away. He says he’s not coming home tonight, it will be -25 outside and that scares me to death. How do I hold my ground and keep him safe at the same time?
Hi Ginger,
Your son is likely testing you to see how much control he has over you. Stick to your guns. Even though he’s said he’s not coming home tonight doesn’t automatically mean he’ll be out in the frigid cold somewhere. He’s either trying to get a reaction out of you; trying to get you to back down and allow him the use of the computer and/or games; throwing a teenager tantrum trying to get his own way, or all of the above. For him to say that he’s not coming home tonight means (to me) that he’s possibly venting his feelings and raging at you for disciplining him about his video game addiction by taking away his computer privileges, or he knows at least one person who will allow him to stay overnight. Perhaps a classmate you may or may not be aware of. I wouldn’t panic about it right now. That just might be what he’s hoping for; you getting scared for his safety etc and backing off on the restrictions. Hang tough, be strong and don’t waver in your resolve to help deal with his gaming addiction.
The fact that computer games are becoming more and more realistic is what worries me. Younger children may not have the skills to tell the difference between events that occur on the screen and those in real life. I am also disheartened by the fact that computer game recommendations – 15+ and up in most cases, are not being enforced correctly and these games are easily getting into the hands of young children.
Hi Benjamin,
Your concerns about video games and how realistic many of the games are is alarming to me too. As a parent, I would never put my trust in any of the video game ratings that some parents might believe in, simply because what one person/parent might feel is appropriate for children of whatever age another parent/person may not feel the game is appropriate at all for their children.
Parents need to know and make a parental decision about what games (if any) their child is allowed to play, whether these games are online games or are played on a video game console.
It’s interesting to consider that the movie “Robocop” initially received the MPAA’s X-rating solely based upon the film’s excessive violence. An X-rating prohibited viewers under 17 from viewing a movie.
To satisfy the requirements of the ratings board, director Paul Verhoeven edited out blood & gore from the most violent scenes so it could be released with an R-rating. An R-rating means that children under 17 are not allowed to attend unless accompanied by a parent or adult guardian.
Yet the violence level of “Robocop” would be considered rather tame compared to many of today’s video games that little children routinely play.
Very good points Rob. Hence the reason why I put no trust in any of the rating systems for video games or even movies. Parents are lax about knowing what books their kids are reading, including books for very young children, not knowing the full content and appropriateness of each and every book their child reads. Just because a video game, movie or book claims to be appropriate for children and teens of “x” age doesn’t in and of itself mean that such things are good, beneficial, healthy things for kids and teens.
I am extremely outraged to find out, after long months of puzzling and agonizing experience, that the root causes of the troubles of my 14 year old son: change of behaviour, failure of an axceptionally bright kid at school and his withdrwal from life, are all due to his addiction of video games.
We have been doing every effort to protect our children from the destructive effects of those games.
It was only because my son was enrolled in a higly acclaimed sholarship program that we allowed him frequent access to the computer and the internet, only to let him fell in the trap.
I feel so agonized that I am seriously thinking of initiating a class suit against those video game companies, just like the class suit against the tobacco companies.
Ben
Ben,
Your reaction to your son’s video game addiction is understandable. Unfortunately, the signs to watch for aren’t easily seen until there is already an addiction, then parents find themselves having to take steps to figure out what’s going on and put a stop to it.
You’re definitely not alone in your anger about video games, and the effects of spending too much time playing video games or computer games etc are on the increase. I really hope you’re able to resolve the addiction for your son, and get him involved in other things instead of gaming.
Lin,
The irony is that a new industry of “video game addiction treatment” is now emerging.
I contacted a certain program in Aspen,Colorado.Guess how much it costs?
$ 30,000 for 50 to 60 days!!
What bothers me is not only my own kind’s being victim of this very harmful industry, but also the fact that most of the world’s population of children are prone to this problem.
The first time I ever heard or read about the seriousness of video game addiction was about a few months ago. I came across a small article about boot camps for video game addicted children in South Korea. High schools kids who play in public cafes for as long as 36 hours nonstop. I never thought that that affliction was developing so fast and that it was that close to my own home.
My son – 14 -is the youngest of four highly gifted children.His other three siblings obtained scholarships from one of the most acclaimed independent schools in New England. The older two now attend two of the most rewound colleges.
Last year, my youngest kid succeeded in being admitted into the same extremely competitive preparatory scholarship program.
Now he has dropped out from both the preparatory program and public school.
I am thinking of how the American kids are now falling behind almost all other industrial nations kids in math and science.
I am thinking of the too many billion dollars spent yearly by average families on these harmful games, imposed on them by around-the-clock bombardment of commercials.
Now, the real problem being identified, I am taking care of my kid. But I am determined to do whatever I can – through every available legal and/or public information means – to make those companies pay for their evil doing and try to prevent more devastation of the lives of innocent children and their families.
Thank you so much for your valuable efforts.
Grieving Ben in NYC
Hi Ben,
I had no idea how much it costs to attend a video game addiction treatment center. That is outrageous!
I also hadn’t heard about video game addiction “boot camps”, but you can bet that there are people in the world who are all too willing to take advantage of people’s afflictions or addictions in order to earn a lot of money.
That’s not to say that these treatment centers or boot camps aren’t wanting to really help people with the addiction, but to charge that kind of money seems like highway robbery to me.
If video game addiction were to ever rear its ugly head in my home, I’d take that a sledgehammer to that contraption and all the games. Fortunately, we don’t have that problem here. I’m pretty tough on the subject of video or computer gaming, and I don’t put up with such nonsense as spending every waking hour sitting and playing those stupid games.
I really hope your son gets over his addiction to games and finds that there is a lot of life to live out there in the world, rather than being stuck in front of a game console for most of the day and night. Good luck to you Ben and to your son!
I can’t think of a more compelling argument against videogames than this quote from a game developer, in defense of an especially graphic new title, “[...] the challenge was how to present the horrors of war in a game that is entertaining [...]”
http://www.appscout.com/2009/04/iraq_veterans_angered_over_xbo.php
And what’s especially sad is just how close to the mark this satirical look at videogames is:
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/hot_new_video_game_consists
Hi Rob,
Thank you for those informative links. The debate over video games rages on, as we’re seeing with the comments section.
you want to know somthing… its the parents fault, for addiction god! quit being stupid and by the way if your kids failing school dont blame videogames thats just iggnorent! i love video games! i just spent 200 $ on them at a convension, however i have a 3.0 average, and 100 $ left in the bank, dont think im a rich kid who gets whatever i want, i dont have alot of money and earn it at my 6.50 an hour job, however i do agree video games can be bad but why are parents complaining why not try this
1: 1-3 hours on school nights after homework
2: 3-5 on weekends after homework and try enrolling them in a sport so they get exersise
3: make sure the game is rated well. such as E for children E10 for ten year olds, T for Teens M for mature/adults. make sure your 5 yr old isnt playing GTA .
its a pretty wierd thing to put all blame on video games when you guys are parents, also maybe your kid has a lot of stress or doesnt like to socialize, and when going on a fantacey world it makes it easier for them to to unwind and relax. if i have a bad day i love to play N64 just for a bit so i calm down and think, its actually quite peacefull to me…
I totally agree that the responsibility to guard against videogame addiction is on the parents’ shoulders. Game ratings are a complete joke – parents just buy any ol’ game their kids want, with no regard for the rating.
At some point though, you do have to attribute some of blame for videogame ills lies with the game developers. Nobody is forcing them to create gratuitously-graphic and excessively-violent crap – they’re going for the easy buck. Games like Rock Band prove that there’s a market for non-violent games. It just takes developers who’re brave & creative enough to tap into that market.
How in the world are you going to blame the video game companies? No one is making them create these games, that is exactly right! May it never be! No one has a right to tell a video game company to make a certain game. And who are you or anyone else to tell them how they must run their business? The games that sell are the ones that get made. If you have a problem with companies selling certain games, you need only look to those buying them. They are the ones giving money to the “evil” company. It takes money to make the games.
Mary, I suspect that you wouldn’t care to extend that same logic to other segments of the entertainment industry.
Would you advocate giving certain magazine publication houses a free pass even though some of the magazines produced are pornographic in nature? Who are we to allow our sense of morality dictate what kinds of publications and/or advertisers those companies work with in the name of business?
Likewise, we’d surely never hold a TV broadcast network responsible if one of the programs they aired had racist content.
Game developers who cater to and encourage abject and vulgar preferences should be held accountable for their corruptive influence upon society in much the same way that filmmakers who produce sleeze are.
.-= Rob O.´s last blog ..Living On the Edge =-.
Hello Lin and Rob. I stumbled across your site in a search for articles on the subject and got caught up in the comments. I’ like to say that most of what you’re saying on this subject is right on. Each of the stories that parents are sharing are spot on with trends we are seeing at where I work as an addictions counselor. I’ve worked with a number of online gaming addicts, perticularly World of Warcraft and another called Counterstrike (1st-person shooter). Personality trends include above-average intelligence, social anxiety or a lack of social skills and competitive nature.
Like anything else, balance is required to avoid developing an addiction. If it’s already there, serious changes need to happen, to include pursuing treatment or therapy.
Hi Ed,
Video game addiction is a real addiction but far too many people (especially those who are addicted) don’t want to admit that there is a problem. It was surprising to me, as a parent, to discover how many parents actually search for information about “children addicted to video games”. I mean…come on already. Where is the parenting in today’s society? Where is the monitoring and watching what our kids are watching or doing online or offline? What appears to many to be harmless fun of their kids playing video games of one kind or another ends up taking over these kids lives and it isn’t until there’s an obvious personality change that parents start saying…hmmm maybe there’s a problem here. Sigh…..
It’s been a bit, thanks for your response. What you describe can be referred to as DENIAL, no longer just a river in Egypt. Parents turn a blind eye, minimize the issues for a number of reasons: don’t want to believe their kids would have such a problem, fear of the repercussions, they’ll just go somewhere else to play, to name a few. Basically, parents of kids with chemical addictions make the same statements. It’s part of the disease as it impacts the family system. Parents need to examine the part they play in the drama, just as the young person needs accountability and limits set.
To give another angle and name to this addiction, at present it’s classified under Impulse Control Disorder Not Otherwise Specified in the DSM-IV-TR.
I as a young Adult had a first view at how bad addiction to MMORPG are, my ex has gotten me pregnant and has shown no care to take care of me or the unborn child. at one point he claimed to break his 401k to get things for the baby, but turned around and spent the thing on up grading his computer to play a new game. the baby still have nothing and is coming in 10 weeks. and he still shows no desire in helping cuz all his time is spent playing the game, he even sleeps in his chair, doesnt even like to get up and bathe.
video game or computer games are to addictive if you ask me.
A lot of people don’t realize how addictive video games are, and they don’t understand the fact that video games are purposely created in such a way to get gamers addicted to playing the games. It’s called Repeat Business if you know what I mean. The almighty dollar being spent by men, women, children and teens on video games to the point where their lives and responsibilities are ignored for the sake of playing games. One clear sign of video game addiction is where, as you say, normal things in life are ignored and not taken care of (including responsibilities towards taking care of children, spouses and relationships). Gamers are spending every penny of their earnings, including money from their savings accounts and 401K plans to blow it all on gaming. Video game addiction is a very real problem in society, and as you’ve described Peach, addicts are neglecting their families and adult responsibilities for the darn things. Which has EVERYTHING to do with why I don’t and won’t promote video games as gifts for Christmas, Birthdays or whatever. Turn the darn thing off and reconnect with your lives, with your children, with your spouse or significant other.
Hi Guys …..
I do agree and diasgree on many points here .
I too was once addicted to gmes be it action or racing or any for that matter . . . .
In short i was an addicted gamer like what u all are commenting and found the gaming world more interesting than this world
gamers find reality in agmes if this is acheived then they stick to theirs gaming chairs..:) this is what i did and so stopped socialising . i didnt know when to wake up when to seep etc totally my life was upside down when i started gaming
But today i am balancing both ! yes its possible
Its as simple as that I started socialising first , got to know my family better , made more real friends etc but the point is “YOU NEED TO MONITOR THE CHANGES IN YOU AFTER YOU STARTED PLAYING GMAES ”
what has changed me after playing games ?
like that
so play games but don let them take over you !!
enjoy the gmaing world as well
as far as marketing is concerned LIN ever where u find the repeatitveness but games do end !
From what you describe Vikas, it sure does sound as though you were addicted to video games and the toll this addiction takes on gamers and their lives. Finding gaming more interesting than the real world is really sad, but addicted gamers would likely agree with you. What’s interesting about the video game addiction treatment centers is that the methods used to break the addiction is getting people doing other things that are fun and entertaining – ya know… get a life and reconnect with family and friends in the real world.
Well this is very shocking…. I have been in denial for at least 10 years now. My wife has endured enough and has asked me find help. The final “straw” was when she had gone out one day , she came back to find me playing my ps3. Not so bad ….. but i left out the fact that i had LOCKED my children in our bedroom, watching cartoons.
I have had my eyes opened to this horror and have since removed the ps3 from the house!! The crappy part is i still miss the game.
I hope to find some therapy (group)
my young children deserve that much.
Robin . Vancouver B.C.
Robin, your situation is similar to others I’ve heard. Gaming takes over people’s lives to the point where the player doesn’t even realize the impact the games are having on their lives. Sometimes until it’s too late. Both men and women filing for divorce because their spouse is so addicted to gaming that they’ve completely given up on their responsibilities to their loved ones. Hopefully you and your family can reconnect and get on with living your lives separate and apart from being stuck in front of some gaming console.
I had been researching this issue now that I have cone to discover and accept that my 13 year old has a fullo blown video game addiction. I know it is partially my fault for allowing the games to be a big part of his life. My issues is that I can’t find anywhere treatment or techniques to provide my son witha different lifestyle. I am not sending him out of state to pay 30k for some program that may or may not work. Does anyone have SPECIFIC methods to helping put this disease into remission? I understand detoxing includes completely ridding him of all the games, which I have done. Now what?
Hi Vanessa,
From what I’ve read thus far on the restart treatment center’s methods of dealing with the addiction, it seems that the programs and activities created to keep residents busy with outside activities including hikes, caring for the farm, and a ton of other activities that I can’t think of right now. The bottom line is…for people addicted to video games or the internet etc is to reconnect with life again and do other things that bring fun and enjoyment to life that doesn’t include sitting on their behinds playing games or watching t.v. etc. Going cold turkey without video games or the internet and staying busy with other activities is the bottom line of putting an end to the addiction.
It really is an issue because this is what happens. Im 26 years old and my parents have always spoiled me. I rarely had to work and in highschool i started playing a well known game called world of warcraft. I have been in college for the past 8 years and not even close to finishing. I devoted (when i went hardcore) 48 hours + on the game before i even thought of going to sleep. I had freinds that played with me and when i actually went out i felt angry at everything and i admit ive even had violent encouters while not playing my game. I felt relaxed playing and it cooled my nerves. It does effect your life and ive been depressed for a very long time now and still continue to play. I would like some help but counselors laugh at me when i tell them i have a problem. People say man up and control yourself. im sorry but this is like doing heroin for me, if im not playing im one mean uhappy person. Parents do need to watch thier kids because I dont want anyone going through what ive gone through for the past 8+ years.
Mike, there are still a lot of people who don’t believe or understand the seriousness of video game addiction, or internet addiction for that matter. If you’re still in college after eight years and not close to finishing, I’d be wanting to have to chat with your folks (assuming they’re paying for your tuition) to find out why they’re putting up with this. If I were you, I’d be calling the folks to ask for their help and guidance in finding you a counselor that is knowledgeable about the problem of being addicted to video games, to get some real help.
Hello Lin.
After reading through the litany of stories you’ve got in the comments section I know I deserve to put my story about addiction here as well. I’m 28, a dishwasher, with BA in the Arts. I realize now that my life could be a lot better, I could be senior editor with a Ph.D. But instead, my addiction to games curtailed my success. I have tried to stop many times but I found I told myself I wasn’t strong enough to. That somehow my life needed that connection to say real, otherwise… I may have ended it a longtime ago. Realizing all of this has been rather difficult but helpful. I realize I could be out running, cleaning my room, socializing, cooking dinner, being active. Except, I play games and all of these things get neglected. I have no doubt I do have an addiction, I just wonder how I will ever get it sorted out. And, let’s face it, I don’t have 30k to spend at a treatment center. I make enough to live on with a bit left over.
One thing is clear though, I’m certain i know why my mother says, “Did you bring your laptop with you this time?” she’s always been hoping I don’t.
Next time I won’t.
Lord help me be strong enough. Thanks for the article and your insightful comments thereafter. It has made me realize how much of a problem this is.
Evil game companies? Yes it costs money to make a game, but the money received back is tenfold, otherwise the game wouldn’t be made at all. So, in a way, it’s so much companies that are evil, it’s simply them exploiting a weakness found in every human being. Is this evil or just insensitive?
My life has been full of addictions from one type to another. My family members have all experienced one form of it, to serious ones to little ones. Smoking, verses say… alcohol. And, I’ve not delved into anything other than computers. And, Orangina, Sprite and Starbucks Apple Fritters. I allow myself these little things.
Computers aren’t little, and I’ve spent a good amount of my time learning how they work, how to fix them, how to program how to make websites. And all of this has been squandered by my addiction to games, when I could be doing something else. This is the crux of it right here, I could be doing SOMETHING else.
Thank you so much for your website, Lin. Best of luck in the fight against this.
Hi Luke,
From the kind of internet traffic this addiction post gets, and the one about the treatment centers, it’s crystal clear to me that video game addiction, internet addiction etc etc is a huge problem for many.
I have been surprised at just how many marriages and relationships are being destroyed by gaming addiction, and if the emails I get are any indication of the severity of the problem, there are a lot of marriages breaking up over the amount of time guys and girls are playing these darn games.
Recognizing there is a problem is just the first step of course. Gamers have to be willing to not only admit they have an addiction, but be willing to do the hard work to “detox” – with or without spending thousands upon thousands of dollars at a treatment center.
From what I’ve read about the treatment centers, it pretty much boils down to the gamer “getting a life”, which is accomplished at the centers by keeping the gamers busy non-stop throughout the time they’re at the center doing a variety of chores and outdoor activities etc.
I would think, or would LIKE to think/hope, that gamers could accomplish the same on their own by doing something else to fill the hours in the day as you said. Otherwise the fat cats opening up these treatment centers are going to have fat wallets from all the money they’ll be raking in because gamers and parents won’t turn the darn thing off.
Hi, My husband is a game addict. I mean it’s gotten soooo bad that our marriage is def on the rocks!! We have a beautiful baby and have been married for 7 years. It really hurts me to say this but i feel that he loves his game more then his family. He spends more time playin x-box then spending time with his family. When he is confronted he gets upset and says “it’s my hobby! are you trying to take my hobby away??” or ” would you rather i go out with friends at all hours of the night and come home late or do you rather me stay home and play?”. I even believe he may a have a “online” girlfriend. I dont know…. I know it sounds lame, but at this rate i don’t know how to stop it. But really I don’t want to stop it, I want him to stop it. I don’t want to be a nagging wife and quite frankly I’m tired of nagging. He tells me these ppl are friends and he knows that its not real, he loves his family and this is just a game. But in reality it is real because he spends all his free time with them and not us. His online friends know more about him then i do at this rate. I’m just scared.. i don’t want us to end but i don’t know how much longer i can last.
any advise?????
Yahaira,
You could show him articles about video game addiction, perhaps an online quiz or test for him to see for himself that the amount of time he plays video games may very well be an addiction for him. You could also tell him in no uncertain terms…, straight forward and honest how you feel and that in your mind his addiction is very possibly a deal breaker for the relationship. Ask him if he is willing to throw away your relationship for the sake of online gaming or not? Ask him what is he willing to do to spend more time with you and your child as a family, compromises etc… and start spending more time with you and not on the computer. If he’s not willing to make any changes at all or any compromises that STICK, then you have your answer.
its really sad to admit it but he will pick gaming. I don’t want to give him an alternative i want him to want to stop. I want him to realize he has an addiction, because deep down I know that if I give him this alternative he will choose the gaming. It’s a really sad situation.
I’m having a problem with my boyfriend and his addiction for games. I swear he attends to that sometime more than me. The sick thing is he call’s his games and computer his “other girlfriend”. I told him once I wish all his systems would just blow up. I love him very much. I just wish he would put down the controller and spend more time with me. He is proud of all the systems he has and all the games.
SB,
You and Yahaira both are dealing with much the same situation with the men in your lives who are addicted to video games. Unfortunately, unless these guys wake up to the reality of their addiction and take steps to stop playing these games or greatly reduce the amount of time they spend gaming, relationships and marriages are breaking down. It is up to you two to decide for yourselves what your Relationship Dealbreakers are, and at what point do you decide “enough is enough” and move on from guys who care more about their video game playing than they do you. Sorry, but that is often the reality, with women giving their video game addicted guys the ultimate ultimatum – you have to decide what you will or will not put up with and go with that.
I think the most important aspect of video game addiction we should be looking at is the “why?”. WHY are our kids spending countless hours watching a tv, WHY would some fathers rather play NFL football than spend quality family time… I think it is because the family dynamic has really broken down in the last ten (or so) years. I think families are spending more time alone instead of together and it’s really hurting relationships. I think the best solution is to make a commitment to your family to spend quality time with them. Play the Wii together, play games together. That’s my answer. Get involved with your kids.
-Sylvia
Sylvia, whether it is video games, television, the computer/internet etc, these have in many cases been allowed to be the child’s babysitter. Mom and/or dad “have other things to do”, so they stick Junior in front of the box to keep them quiet and entertained so the parent can do something else…something other than parent. Neighborhood parks are often empty, even in good weather. Because all these kids are parked on their behinds at home in front of the tv, computer or gaming console. And then the parents wonder why Junior is getting fat.
Lin, do you know of any game addiction facilities in the Kansas City,MO area?
I don’t know of any in your area, sorry. That’s not to say there aren’t any, I just don’t know where or what they’d be called.
My son is in college and does not live at home. He stays up the entire night to play computer game with on-line strangers. He skipped classes and start doing poorly with his school work. I have discussed with him and promised to work on it but I have not seen any changes. How can I help him getting out of this problem when he is not living with me? Any advices is appriciated.
I’m a 41 yr old male with a serious gaming addiction problem. My problem can be traced all the way back to the 70′s when Pong first came out. Back then, video arcades were the big draw, but they were self limiting for a young boy due to needing .25 to play every game….I could only mow so many lawns!! Honestly, the problem didn’t get really serious until XBOX hit the market. Consol games were always addicting for me, but once I beat the computer, the addiction would fade and I could get back to regular life. Xbox, with it’s Live network changed that because now I was gaming against the best gamers in the world. (having worldwide ranking systems in place only makes it even MORE addictive!!) Still, the first gen xbox was very addictive, but it had to compete with “real” drug addictions I was struggling with back then. I was quite the partier and has addicted to cocaine, marijuana, MDNA and many more. I finally woke up one day and realized that I was going to kill myself with all of the drugs and kicked them all (except marijuana) cold turkey. (7 years sober on all the hard drugs!!) Now, I find my once promising career on the skids, my beautiful girlfriend is gone and I can only afford my house because I qualified for a “loan modification” from the gov. I’ve tried to set self imposed restrictions on my xbox usage, but I’m just not strong enough to resist turning it on for “one quick game” of Civilazation ( a world conquest game, much like a combination of Risk, Doungeons & Dragons and Sim City) before I face the day, wich ends up being my entire day. If it weren’t for the fact that I WAS really good at my job and worked really hard to build a big account base that now mostly calls in their orders, I would have been fired a long time ago. (I’m a sales rep for a wine distributor) Make no mistake: Video game addiction is very “real”!! The feeling I have when I see the sun coming up after a 18hr gaming binge is exactly the same feeling I used to get after an all night cocaine binge. Guilt, shame, depression, withdrawl….only thing missing is the ruined sinuses!! At least with the cocaine, it cost so much, I could only afford my habit 2-3 times per week. Once you buy an xbox and pay for your Live subscription, every time you play it’s free!! (or so you think….) Anyhow, a concerned friend sent me to this site and I’m glad I came to it. I really feel the time is now to take my life back into my own hands and get some professional help!! No way I can afford a “treatment center” , but I did a search and found a therapist in my area that specializes in “cyber addiction” and I’m calling Monday for an appointment. Just like when I kicked the hard drugs 7 years ago, cutting back is not an option, cold turkey is the only way to go, so I’m going to bring all of my games/systems to the video store and trade them in for whatever cash they’ll give me and come to grips with my addiction/s through therapy. I’m definitely interested in any positive support from any others with similar problems, so feel fre to reply, comment or ask me any questions
My fiance is addicted to video games. I have known sense we first met that he likes video games and he never really played them until we were about 1 year into our relationship. We have a baby together and when he gets home from work he will say hi to his baby and then hop on the XBOX and play until 3 or 4 in the morning. I have no idea what to do seeing as how he works more than I do. I want him to be happy and have “Me” time but I also want him to acknowledge that he now has a family. I guess we are not his number one priority!
I am married to someone with a video game addiction. As harsh as this advice may seem, do not have more children with this man or marry him until you are 1,000% sure that he has recognized this problem and is getting treatment for it. I am expecting my third child and I can’t tell you how devastating this addiction is to a marriage and the children. Be proactive and lovingly, draw the line and don’t put up with this crap! You and your child have more value than bleeps on a screen.
I havn’t had my first child w/ my hubby and refuse to do so. Do you have any advice from your personal experience on to at least get their attention?
I’ve been reading through the website here and I must say I haven’t read a similar case to mine and thus, I think I need help. If it were my kid or fiance who’s addicted to computer games, I think I would know how to handle them. For a kid, as a teacher, I know exactly what to do and how to go about limiting their usage. For a fiance or husband, I could use threats or all kinds too.
My BIGGEST problem is, the person who’s seriously addicted to computer games (RPG game) is my mum. She’s in her mid-fifties. To make things worse, she has backaches and migraines but these apparently did not stop her from playing those games. Sometimes she cooks and forgets to turn off the fire, often resulting in burnt food. Sometimes she takes the laundry from the washing machine and simply left them in a pail without hanging them. She is a retiree and yes, therefore she has ALL the time to play games. She plays games into the wee hours of the night, as late as 2a.m., just like a teenager. She is defensive when we threaten to limit her usage. The other day, she immediately bought a new pc without battling an eyelid because her current one is giving her some problems. In the end, we realise the problem isn’t a critical one. She’s not literate (yes, but she learns the game from my sister) so I couldn’t show her any articles on computer addiction. She even brings her food back to her room and eats at her computer table. Her social network is very small and that makes it worse because she devotes all her time to playing games. Whenever we ticked her for playing excessively on the computer and that it aggravated her backache, she would pitifully tell us how much her back really hurts and that at least playing games helps her forget about her pain. She’s undergoing physiotherapy currently but that did not stop her from playing games. She even told my sibling recently that she has suicidal thoughts at times because none of us understands her pain and always attributes her poor health to computer games. Recently she complained of aching shoulders, back and headaches – which are obvious symptoms of computer addiction.
This problem is getting more and more serious. Hope someone can shed light on similar cases and provide some good advice on how I can help my mum kick this addiction. It is taking a toll on her health and harming our relationships. Thank you.
I’m at my wit’s end with my husband’s online gaming addiction. I love him with all my heart and he’s a wonderful man, if he would just stop spending 95% of his free time on the computer. I feel so lonely all the time and lately we just haven’t been speaking to each other much. I am starting to feel as if we’re living separately under the same roof. Divorce is NOT an option for us, but I have been searching for some kind of help for him.
He desperately needs help before our toddler son gets older and feels lonely and neglected like I do.
I wouldn’t mind it if he spent an hour or two a day playing his games, but it literally takes up most and sometimes all of his time before and after work until after I go to bed. When we visit my parents, he gets very cranky and depressed because their computer won’t play these games, and we often have to leave early.
I hope our insurance covers counseling, although I don’t believe it does. We need help before I lose my sanity!
I really enjoy playing mw2 on ps3. I’m a 27 year old adult with a 4 year old daughter and another little girl on the way in Oct. I have always played video games since childhood. Now I’m starting to see problems in my social life and family life that are difficult to deal with. I’m noticing that people at work, family, friends, random strangers all seem to look at me as if something is wrong with me. Everyone seems to look at me the same way but noone has confronted me about anything in particular. I try to stay quiet because I don’t ever have anything to talk about. I fear for the future of my children if I cannot come back to reality and learn to focus on something other than a game. What should I do?
My boyfriend of 6 months is extremely addicted to games. Not only does he play them for 14 hours a day, but he has an associates degree in game design. We are only 21 years old, and have just now been thrown into the “grown up” world of getting jobs and living together. I work two jobs, he has no job at all. He acts like his game (World of Warcraft) is his job. He has to-do lists and he feels that when he doesn’t get them done, he’s not doing his job. He makes promises to people he doesn’t even know and he has to fullfill them.
I confronted him last night about his addiction and he got terrified that I was trying to take the game away from him. It makes me feel like that is more important than me. Games being taken away? Or me leaving. He would probably pick the game.
I love him so much, and I don’t want to see his life being wasted away by his virtual reality.
Lanik, I am a gamer myself. I have been a gamer for years now and I’m 22. One thing I have learned over the years of playing games is that there is an extent to the games to play that a person needs to know not to cross. I myself have found out that playing World of Warcraft is the worst of them all to get started in. Maybe something you can try doing is ask him if maybe you and him could try playing a different game together that is not nearly as controlling as World of Warcraft or as gratuitous as as games like Gears of War. Maybe a middle ground can be found to lead him away from that and then eventually he will pick up on that and start realizing what is more important in his life than the game.
Lanik,
I married a man who’s addicted to gaming. His first marriage ended greatly due to this addiction. I’ve learned a lot about myself thinking I could change him (codependency). I thought he surely wouldn’t make the same mistake twice. He wouldn’t give up his children for a game, etc.
We were on the brink of divorce due to his gaming and him trying to influence our children into gaming as well. We have been in marriage counseling for a while and now he finally understands he has an addiction. It took the threat of him losing a second wife and his children, along with a great marriage counselor, to help him see what he was doing to himself and those he loves.
We’re working out our issues, but he constantly has a desire to game. It’s no different than an alcoholic or a drug addict. It’s not something that will “just go away”. Many times people LITERALLY can’t think rationally because part of their brain is physically shut off to reason when the addiction is active. Other things associated with a gaming addict is anhedonia and depression.
With a gaming addiction there is a zero-gaming policy for recovery, not even one bit. This includes things that are associated with gaming too (i.e. a recovering alcoholic wouldn’t go to a bar to have dinner).
I love my husband and children very much, but if I had to do it over again, I would not have married him. You are very young. I hope you realize you cannot change him. You will spend many nights crying, angry, screaming, etc. If you think you can change him, please read “Codependent No More” by Melody Beattie. He will only change if and when he is ready. Many people never do.
I may sound strong in what I write, but my intent is with so much compassion for you. I don’t want to see someone so young spend so many years making the same mistakes I did.
I wish you the best.
Sincerely,
Eli
I am not sure though about being truly addicted to video games, I play World of Warcraft and I would say whenever I am not working or having my mind set off by real life things, I would be thinking about playing it. Am I addicted? I wouldn’t say yes or no. But do I waiste alot of my time playing video games and regret it (sometimes)…yes. There are times in which I wish I could be hanging with my loved ones or playing sports again but the reality is, that work and loved ones along with schooling… take up a vast majority of someones life, then put a video game in with the mix and theres no life time to compete with it.
–((Hobby))–
–((Or Addict))–
This website has shown me the crutual information needed in order to help not only myself from being overwhelmed by video games but with others around me.
I am 17 years old. I believe i have a very very bad addiction to mmo rpg games, I play from the time i get up in the morning until i go to sleep at night, a total of 12+ hours a day, ive tryed everything to get off. ive broken several computers to try and quit, and i always find myself out buying a new one to play again. Im out of school with no job. when i turn 18 my parents are kicking me out if i dont have a job but yet i cant seem to get off the games to go and find one. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
If you are serious, start seeing a counselor who specializes in addictions. It doesn’t matter if they see mostly alcoholics, drug addicts, etc., the steps to recovery are very similar. Also, find an AA group or another like group who will let you attend to help learn the steps. Search for a sponsor to hold you accountable. This isn’t something you can beat on your own with willpower. It doesn’t work like that. Part of your brain actually turns off when the addiction is active. I wish you the best of luck.
I’m 16 and a game addict. I’m trying my best to get over and it’s really hard. I agree with you guys. Games are ruining the future generations of America. Kids should only be playing games permitted for their age group. If your a parent and reading this limit your kids to an hour at the most a day with a video game and no over rated games. If they’re my age no mature games, if they’re below 13 no teen or mature games. Trust me it’s whats best. My parents don’t limit me so I have games of all ratings and can play as long as I like and it’s ruining my life. I’m doing horrible in school and my friends hate me because I neglected them to play my Xbox 360.
I’m a 39 year old professional male. I generally play video games for anywhere between 6 to 18 hours per week. In fact, I play video games more than I watch television.
The average American watches 21.58 hours of television per week.
Q: Why doesn’t anyone question “television addiction”?
A: Because it’s too mainstream and video gaming is still not generally socially acceptable, or at the very least it’s scrutinized.
That’s what I thought!
Who says people don’t question “television addiction”? The fact you answered the question you posed yourself indicates you really aren’t open to dialogue about this.
To eliminate the possibility you may have a video game addiction just because many people do, in fact, have a television addiction is not a valid excuse. It’s like an adult saying to someone, “I’m not that bad, look at what this person does.” To compare yourself with others in order to justify this in your mind, is a warning sign of possible addiction.
I hope this is not the case for you.
I’ve looked up alot of the symptoms on video game addictions, and it seems that alot of people are concerned purely with the quantity of video games being played.
I would definitely classify myself as a “serious gamer” who plays around 3-5 hours per day, but I can honestly say that it doesn’t affect my life in a negative way. I’m still doing great in school, I workout every day, and I like to hang out with my friends on weekends. So I guess what I’m trying to say is that the emotional level with which you’re attached to the videogame is much more important then the time itself you spend on said game.
I disagree with alot of what is being said here, I personally disagree with the whole “violent video games make murderers out of children” theory.Being a veteran marine of the 2nd mp battalion security company have seen and done things life changing in the aspect of life and death which gives me the outlook that these video games that require you to shoot,blow up,stab the other players,etc. are completely different from the actual sight of someone being shot friend or foe or watching a IED tear right through a combat Humvee. Also I let my children play Call of Duty : Modern Warfare 2, there was a difference in when see killed someone on this game then when she saw a car on fire that we passed here in Florida on the highway that happend to have a burning body inside the difference was in the game yeah she shot people but when she saw this person on fire she broke down and cried, after we were hours away from the wreck I asked her if she was ok and she told me she hope that person doesn’t feel any pain anymore and that she knows that person is in heaven. My point in saying this is that she knows there is a difference in games and real life, right from wrong, and if there are children out there that can’t tell the difference then its not the child’s fault but the parents for not explaining to their children the difference and for not raising their children properly, its not the games.
Now back to the main topic of actual game addiction, I let my children play for a few hours a day they have a Wii, I have a xbox 360, and they both have their own nintendo DS before they had all this my son was a slow learner and was struggling through school, after having bought these game systems not only have my children excelled in school they bring home straight A’s and their behavoir has changed compeltely my son was a trouble maker and a class clown now he is considered on of the brightest children in his class and even his verb knowledge base has grown that sometimes i forget he is even a 7 year old by the intellect and manor of which he speaks one would think he was much older
As I have always said, if you can choose to do something else and not feel the pull or need to play, or worse finding yourself depressed and playing anyway, there is no problem. If you can’t say to yourself for the next three days I am not playing, then you are either an addict or play too much; if you can with no ill effects, then carry on as normal.
It is all different degrees for different folk. Most are happy and healthy, some play too long at the expense of common sense but could quit if they wanted too, a very few that I’ve spoken to at support groups need to fall a very long way before they stop playing. I am talking losing the apartment, marriage, children etc, and don’t kid yourself it does happen. I’ve blown probably 20k in the last couple of years alone on gaming, and that is all debt from years gone by. If you are wondering how, latest gaming rigs, consoles and micro transactions, you can spend thousands in a single game easy, I know as I have in several over the years.
I’ve known I have been addicted for years now, even if at first people acted as enablers by joking dismissing it. 30 now and can’t break it, I started playing at 12, when it began to effect my grades, eventually dropping out of sports, relationships, universities etc, but back then when I first started I was a bright kid so nobody really paid much attention. Different strokes for different folks. Keep an open mind whatever your views. When you get down to it, there is a great similarity to gambling addiction. Gambling – less but bigger rewards, Gaming – 24/7 constant small rewards.
There are some pretty good folk at olganon.org though I don’t feel I’ll make it myself now, been playing too long, there might still be hope for the few of you on the brink. If you’ve got an addictive personality, or a really creative bright kid, regardless of whether you believe me or not, keep tabs on it eh.
On the violence in video games argument, violent or unstable people look for excuses, they will find one. Video games, films, family, music, race, culture, religion, drink, the way someone looks at them it doesn’t matter, the medium isn’t the problem it is whatever social situation and environment made them that way in the first place.
Banning an entertainment medium won’t stop people being violent to other people, it will barely even scratch the surface of triggers out there.
Long term Addict recently posted..About OLGA & OLG-Anon
Hey everyone,
I’m 15 and a gamer myself. I totally believe in video game addiction. I know a guy who used to be my best friend and is now awkward and kind of creepy because of his life being spent playing video games. Although video game addiction is a legitimate problem, that doesn’t make everyone who plays video games regularly an addict. I probably put somewhere between 10-15 hours a week into playing video games. I dont play everyday but there will be some weekends (if im home) that I will stay up till about 2 or 3 playing video games on xbox live with my friends. Almost all of my male friends play xbox. At my school so many guys play, that it pretty much makes you an outcast if you dont play with the other guys online. It is a common misconception that people who play video games often are anti-social. But me and most of my friends would all rather play football in the field near my house if that was an option at the time. I am also very liked in school. I know almost everyone and nobody has any serious problems with me. I have a band that I play with at school (I play guitar/piano and sing) and I play on the varsity baseball team. I also have been learning MMA since I was 5. My GPA is over 4 (A+s count for more than 4) and I am aiming for med school.So as you can see, I have a very active life aside from video games.
The main reason I wrote this is because I read many of the posts in this stream and they were parents talking about how they were never going to let their kids play video games. Honestly video games are not bad as long as you dont play them too much. Let your kids play (especially if lots of their friends play online together). If kids play with their friends it is far from anti social. In fact there is a kid with aspergers who has become very social in the past two years because he got an xbox and has been playing with me and my friends. Dont restrict your kids from having a normal modern social life. I know kids who arent allowed to play video games or watch tv and ironically they are the more “nerdy” kids who dont socialize much. Let your kids enjoy themselves, just dont let it get out of hand. If they stop keeping up in school, then lay down the law and put limits on the game use. Now Im sure that after posting this many people are going to say that I am an addict and I just dont realize it. I promise you that I am not. I have researched the symptoms and I am POSITIVE that I am not. Just think about this before you make any rash decisions about your children’s lives. You can comment with any questions about my life and I will answer honestly.
Thank You
Hi,
i like gaming but am absolutely not addicted. Unfortunately, i never really get to play because i am always very obsessed with my school work, but its a lot of fun and i enjoy it. i understand the appeal of gaming and i think i was probably addicted in a period of my childhood. What happens is that you go on, and hours later feels like no time at all. As far as it feels, you’ve been on for half an hour, but you’ve really been on for several hours. Gaming isn’t all bad.
People have TV and games in their cars because in cars you honestly have nothing to do but wait and distract yourself (if you are a passenger); if it is with Spoungebob, your Nintendo DS or a nap. i am someone who would love to read in cars but would vomit from car sickness, but probably not a TV since it isn’t hand held.It is good for long car rides, and would only take up time when it is necessary to kill it. As far as violent games go, there was a study by Dr. Christopher J. Ferguson of Texas A&M International University and other universities (If i recall correctly Stanford did one as well) that have found that violent gaming is more of a relies of those latent violent tenancies on something harmless and that it releases stress on top of giving them better visual skills. i know thats true for a fact because i’ve played FPSs and i am horrible due to the fact of how little i play. Also most of those FPS players are also very sweet boys who wouldn’t hurt a fly in real life. i am not NEARLY as vigilant or quick minded as my friends who play a lot. Though i believe little kids may want to avoid those games because of the exposure to graphic imagery, but as far as a well developed reasonable minded person goes, it is actually kind of good for them to let it out through this method of recreation. On top of that 10 seconds of gaming will give someone more confidence for 24 hours and if you have heard of lucid dreaming you will understand why what i am about to explain is true. Lucid dreaming is the act of realizing youre dreaming mid dream ,therefor controling it to however you desire. Some people practice things in their dreams and say that they experience actual improvement in said areas that they practiced in their dream. A lot of practicing and learning is merely physiological and in one’s own mind so being enveloped in a false reality still carries some effects into the true reality because those neurological pathways were still formed. Playing baseball video games makes you a better baseball player; playing first person shooters makes you a better marksman playing strategy games give you more logical strategic reasoning and skill. RPG video games are often beautiful and intriguing in story and imagination, and naturally it enhances one’s creativity greatly. i am a much better writer and visual artist because of them. i understand the unhappiness with video games and i actually believe my boyfriend is addicted. He is going through his third occasion of school problems, and is failing his classes because of gaming even though he is a brilliant boy. i didn’t ketch it till now and was relaxed about it because i understand why he loves gaming and i am a gamer myself , though i think he needs to find control. i am a geek and therefor have several gamer friends. Some have probably ditched school to game, and some are probably addicted, but we cant forget that gaming is often very social and is almost like a training mechanism for the brain and in life in several different aspect. It takes a lot of skill,confidence, and training to be proficient at a lot of these games. Strategy games give one a more strategic mind, like playing sudoku or chess all day. Also, a note on television, all it really is is an informer; if it is of valuable information or silly entertainment. One can gain plenty of knowledge and even mental skill from TV if they watch the right things (i am definitely one to learn through observation and wouldn’t be as charismatic as i am if i didn’t observe charismatic people.haha i also wouldn’t know half of the scientific and social facts i know if it were not for television. i watch comedy, NOVA, cartoons, news, PBS, and more.) i believe that , like anything, it should be used in moderation. i kill myself over school and i don’t sleep and don’t eat because of school, not gaming or tv, but i love gaming and see the advantages to it, and i admit the disadvantages to it. You can become addicted to anything, just realize that if its addictive that means that it was pleasurable, therefor hard to resist. Pleasurable things aren’t bad until they take over your life. So gaming is not bad on its own, but like ANYTHING it can be bad in excess.
P.S.
My boyfriend was heavily controlled as a kid as far as gaming and TV went, so when he was let off the leash in college he got addicted. Don’t be obsessive prudes. Let your kid enjoy themselves sometimes, and teach them moderation and independence. You cant micromanage them too much, or ells it will backfire later on. You’re kid is a person, not a dog to train. They will be independent some day so make sure you let them be independent sometime and loosen their chain while tugging them away from danger. Most of the crazy ones in college come from really restrictive families. Just remember that. One day they’ll be free so teach them how to be free but wise. Not just obedient.
My husband was addicted to an online game. We both started playing that right after marriage, it was sort of our bonding time. After two years, when I got a full-time job, I quit but he kept on playing. He still goes to work, pays his bills and being responsible but he hardly spent time with me. Now he quit because we have been fighting so much about it but he’s grown distant towards me. It’s only been a week since he quit but I can’t help but feel that he’s resenting me for taking away his hobby. I don’t know what to do, I’m afraid he will never get over this resentment. Has this happened to anyone here before or any family members? I’m torn between just giving him space and not hounding him, or should I keep showing him I love him by being on his side, trying to support him through this time? I really need your insight please..
Your husband could very likely be experiencing withdrawl symptoms from not gaming. Video game addiction is real, and like any other addiction problem, stopping a bad habit often brings on withdrawl. Give him some time, plan some fun things to do together to help keep his mind busy on other things when he would normally be playing video games. Card games, board games etc keep the mind and hands busy, and it gives you two something enjoyable to do having fun and talking and laughing together. Hang in there.
Thank you Lin for your suggestions. He brushes off any attempts I make to find something fun to do. When he comes home from work, he just watches TV until he falls asleep. He eats dinner with me but we just make small talk. So sad that my marriage is reduced to small talk. I really don’t know how else to reach out for him. I understand I might need to give him some space and not crowd him so much but it’s killing me not knowing how this will end that I have the urges to keep talking to him to get reassurances. And of course that does not help much.
Sad Wife … You can’t control others responses. That’s the first thing I learned when dealing with codependency. Trying to get reassurances from him is a for of codependency. Most people involved with someone with an addiction have codependent tendencies. Don’t give up on the marriage, but don’t get desperate either. A great resource s a book called, “Codependent No More” and “The Codependents Guide to the 12 Steps”. There are also Codependent Anonymous groups. You can look them up online at coda.org. Start taking care of yourself. That’s all you can do at this point, as well as being a loving, not-tied-to-your-husband’s-moods, wife. Best wishes!
give it up, cause he won’t until he wants 2. now u just have 2 change u 2 adapt 2 the situation.
*is addicted, not was … Get yourself some Al-Anon books and a support group if possible. My husband FINALLY has realized he’s addicted. Some withdrawal symptoms are anger, isolation, replacing the addiction with something else (i.e. food, t.v., etc.).
Most importantly, DO NOT TAKE THIS PERSONALLY. He will try and convince you that you’re the problem. That’s part of his denial. In addition, addictions cause characterological defects (i.e. deceit). That’s how my husband finally admitted there was a problem. He admitted his intent was to deceive me in order to play his games (get his fix). Love him through this, but don’t give in to the addiction. Many people, especially with alcoholics, say, “I liked you better when you were (using) drinking.” While using, many addicts are more pleasant to be around because they nasty withdrawal symptoms leave. But, to really have the life you were meant to live, free from addiction, going through withdrawal and recovery is part of that process. If he’s willing to see an addiction specialist counselor, I highly suggest it. If you go with him, only give your input when asked, and then do so lovingly WITHOUT making excuses for him.
Hi Eli! You said your husband realized he’s addicted to. Did he go through the withdrawal symptoms? How long did they last, and how did u help him through it?
My husband does not believe in therapy/counseling, he will not go for it. I don’t know how else to support him. Should I just keep quiet and not bother him so much when he’s home and wants to be isolated? I’m afraid he’s gonna think that I’m ignoring him. If I try to engage him in conversations, I only get very short replies like he’s just not interested in talking. It has only been a week so I might need to give more time.
I guess what I really need is some hope that this withdrawal and recovery will have a good end point.
Yes, he went through and is still going through, to a lesser degree, withdrawal. The beginning was tough. The person almost always substitutes their addiction with something else in order to fill the gap and take their mind of it. His started with food, then t.v., now reading. There was anger, resentment, subtle blaming, then coercion of trying to get back some gaming time. Thank God for our counselor. When hearing it from someone my husband trusts and respects, not to mention the counselor is a man, he doesn’t like to accept it, but has.
The biggest suggestion I have for you is to get help for yourself. That’s what I had to do also. If you can find a counselor to help with codependency, that would be a great start. S/he should be able to help with how to deal with an addict as well. Anytime you start a sentence with, “I’m afraid he’s gonna think …” or say/feel, “it’s killing me not knowing how this will end that I have the urges to keep talking to him to get reassurances … “, you’re letting yourself be kept a prisoner by his actions. I know exactly how this feels and I fell into this a lot, but am getting much better at avoiding those traps.
Does he accepts the fact that he has an addiction? If so, comparing going to a counselor to get help for an addiction with someone physically sick going to a doctor may help him understand the benefit of a counselor, or maybe not.
Recovery will only happen when he starts working at it. There’s no magical time frame when the addiction and/or withdrawal symptoms disappear. You definitely have to be patient and give it a lot of time.
Don’t let your self-worth be determined by how he treats or mistreats you. If so, once he realizes it, he could possibly use it as a weapon against you.
“Codependent No More” and “The Codependents’ Guide to the 12 Steps”, both by Melody Beattie are great starts.
It seems like it will never get better, but it will, eventually.
Big Hug,
Eli
While I do see the problem in videogame addiction, speaking as a gamer myself (but not an addict), I’d say that some of the information is abit off. Taking your child’s games away cold turkey is a harsh thing to do, because technology now a days allows kids to talk and play with each other across the world. It’s been shown that kids will go to the extremes to get their games back. It is as though you just tore apart their social lives. Starting from nothing you expect them to build up new friends and a new life, within a day? That’s impossible. Don’t ruin your children’s lives by taking games away from them, it’ll only spark problems, they will see the light in time.
wow! lol. no, don’t get your kids off something that may potentially be negative in their kids development because they just couldn’t bear it.
I feel the need to post this message for those of you who believe a video game addiction may not be entirely real. I was shocked to learn that my significant other had an addiction to games. At first, I did not see it. Right in the beginning of the relationship, there were warning signs I missed. The # 1 thing I noticed was a lack of sex-drive. At the risk of sounding conceited, I’m hot. But standing naked or in skimpy lingerie would do nothing for this boy. From there on in, the other problems started: bills not being paid, huge debt, car being repo’d, bank accounts going into overdraft, neglect of family, friends, social life, hobbies he used to love, and the list goes on. It wasn’t until the first 3 years of being together that someone mentioned to me he has an addiction problem; than I started to research and everything made sense. He was actually showing the physical and emotional withdrawal symptoms when not playing!? I always just thought he was grumpy all the time. Now I hate to throw in the “genetic” factor here, but his dad is a recovering alcoholic, and he always used to tell me how he had an addictive personality and as such stayed away from casino’s etc. for fear of having a gambling addiction. Well… here we are: a video gaming addiction for the son! At over 30 years of age now, I fear we are too far into the rabbits hole for help, but we’re going to seek professional help now that we’ve pinpointed the problem. Don’t take this topic lightly! It’s a lot more serious than people make it out to be.
Hello, I am a teen in high school finishing up my junior year, I like to play video games. Video games help me relax. In school im doing a project about video game addictions and when I found this site the info in it has helped me create a video for my project. I do have to say i play at least 2-4 hours a day is that bad for me? I have a job, girlfriend, and good grades. I play games with my family, I have an Xbox360. If anyone wants to have a good relaxed time playing look up my name “maxgriggs”. Thanks for listening
What disturbs me the most about this article is that the addiction symptoms are too generic and can easily lead to misdiagnosis and depriving a child of something s/he like to do. Some misnomers such as:
“2.Fatigue; tendency to fall asleep in school.
3.Not keeping up with homework assignments/not turning in homework on time.
4.Worsening grades.”
Note: any of these things can be cause by anything else.
This can lead to some parent taking things way out of hand and depriving their child of their (hopefully not the only) method of passing the time
Then here comes “8.Irritable, cranky or agitated (withdrawal symptoms) when not playing a video game or on the computer.” which can easily happen with anything as no child likes having anything they care even a small sum about be taken away and tend to behave stubbornly when it does.
I come from a household where everything is blamed on videogames so if I’m acting a little defensive its probably because I hate it when people attribute videogames with what may be external circumstances!
did u play alot of games? come on be honest?
Hey I am going to be the least noticed comment on here I know it, but I am a video game addict…
I have been grounded off the Xbox for about a week now, but I realise it is actually a good thing. I have gotten back into guitar and a lot of other things I used to do before I played Call of Duty and Halo nonstop.
It is nice to sometimes be off the games sometimes, so I encourage parents looking at the blogs here to notice my post and know: If you do have a kid who you feel may be addicted, kick them off the game for a week or two. I have been with the CoD and Halo Live thing for almost 2 years and prior, I was on videogames playing pac-man and bomberman (wow lots of games with “Man”, huh…). I have been on video games for a while now, almost 11 years, and all it took was a week off the games to get better.
Hello, based on the symptoms I think I might be a video game addict, as much as I hate to say it. I am a former MMORPG player, and I haven’t played an MMO for about 7 months now…a new record. Although I’m aware that not playing video games is for the best, from time to time I still have that urge to play. The thought of playing video games hasn’t escaped my mind yet, and to be honest it sucks. So now I find myself instead of playing video games, surfing the web and watching stuff on YouTube as a substitute.
Strangely though at school, the games that I played didn’t really affect my work much, my only consequence was being really tired in mornings.
I don’t know if I’ll ever “recover” from my video game past, however I’ll try my best to get it out of my head. On the plus side, I’ve started drumming again (never had time for it when playing video games), so yeah I guess I have benefited in some way.
So those are my words, thanks for hearing my story.
Waste of time. If you’re an addict deal with it yourself. Don’t be a wimp and as stated in this story they have control in the game. People are soo stupid I’ve seen people get killed it’s nothing like it is in gta or call of duty.. These games are not realistic at all. And you don’t have the sense of actually being in that place of bullets flying past your head. There are worse things in life than a video game addict such as drug addict or a homeless person or animal cruelty. People need to grow up
I am very concerned about my boyfriend. He is unbearable when he is not playing his game. cranky, snappy and when I do get him to do something like watch a movie with me as soon as it is over he will return to his game. If I ask him to do something else he get angry and yells. Even his children feel that all he cares about is that game. I just do not know what to do. I am researching on-line but alot of this stuff is for kids he is 41 years old. I can see why so many spouses think it is a deal breaker.
Hello,
My name is dave, I’m 15 years old and m pretty sure I’m addicted to computer games. It started during the summer when there was a lot of free time and now its getting crazy. My parents don’t trust me anymore I’ve lost all computer and console privledges and I still want to play. Its not like I’m obese or failing in school. I have all As and Bs and I’m regular wieght. Ugh I just don’t know what do do because since I haven’t had my computer I’ve played on my moms computer and got caught and my sisters and got caught. My mom is not a pushover and is strict and I hate it so much when my parents are, not even mad but just plain dissapointed that their smart son is doing this to the. Please helpp my I’m going crazy and I just want to stop.
I’m no psychiatrist, but I think with all non-substance abuse addictions like this, you need to divert your attention to something else. I suggest you find a routine like watching some TV, then reading a book, hanging out with a friend (and not playing games), maybe try some kind of sport or activity. I’m 50 years old now and when I look back on my life, I remember all the diverse experiences and things I have learned from them. I don’t remember with fond memories sitting in front of a TV watching Gilligan’s Island, The Big Valley and I Dream of Genie.
My parents were concerned that we were watching too much TV back then and were accused of being addicted to the “Boob Tube”. But the time we spend on TV is nothing like the 16 hours a day my son can spend playing games.
Somebody said “Diversity is the spice of life”… or something like that anyway. Looking back, it’s true. Life is defined by your experiences. It’s all you have when you are sitting in a nursing home and talking with a friend about what you have done.
I know I don’t plan on saying “I spent 60 years playing video games.”
Hi. I’m a 15 year old who is completed addicted to a first person shooter. I’ve tried extremely hard in the past to stop this addiction. I’ve asked my father to put a password, but my schoolwork always gets in the way. Sometimes I lie to him just to use the computer
. I’ve tried uninstalling but I always reinstall it. The game is on my mind 24/7. I have friends and I do sports, but I find that I can’t socialize with other people easily. I’ve been screamed at by my parents to stop using, and they’ve smashed my computer before out of frustration. I’ve promised myself a billion times I’ll stop, only to play the next time i go do homework or check my email. I’ve asked around and there are no ‘treatment centres’ near me. Can anyone recommned any methods to cut down at home?
Bull Sh!t… I don’t believe a word you are saying. You sound like a typical troll to me.
I see a lot of the comments here coming mostly from girls. So I ask what is the difference between video game addiction and women’s addiction for buying stuff? Or women’s addiction to hanging out and neglecting their house chores? Or women’s addiction to control everyone and everything. My girlfriend did tell me that I don’t spend enough time with her because of playing video games, but so does her when she is doing whatever the hell she likes to invest her time in. If girls want boys to leave video games they should start by being a little more fair about this situation.
What a crock… does anyone else see this ‘problem’ as a lack of other things? Isn’t it easy to blame videogames for much more horrible deficiencies in parenting? I have 6 nephews and a niece, all between the ages of 19 and 12… yes, they do spend a lot of time on the computer… everyone does nowerdays.
A large part of this issue is a generation of parents who don’t use computers, who don’t really understand how they have changed the world, attempting to make decisions for thier understimulated children based on their own frame of reference.
Send them out to play, they say. What does that mena nowerdays? Hanging out in an alley to avoid being hassled by police? Loitering? Vandalizing public space? Kids DON’t go to the park anymore… they just DON’T, and trying to send them to the idyllic ‘outdoors’ of the 70s isn’t going to do the things these parents are thinking of.
The only way to ‘help’ is to be involved with what your kids are doing, not by alienating them for being part of a phenominon their parents don’t understand. My mother was the same way, and her unlimited restriction of the computer, internet, and gaming machines made me a socail outcast, and I am still recovering to fit in with this paradigm…
When I was young, there was no Internet like there is today ( I’m only 26, but it was useless in the early 90s )… now, the Internet is central to research, school, and socail networking. What aught to be examined is, truly, weather the problem is video games, or children simply not being motivated to do ANYTHING…
Banning kids from technology, while completely impossible nowerdays anyway, is not the solution… there needs to be education on both sides. I know that, because my nephews see me as involved in their lifestyle, will share with me the truths about their situation… that their parents want them off the computer and outdoors, as long as they don’t go anywhere or have anything ‘suspicious’, or ‘hang around’ with other people… and it is through this access that I can teach them things like how to build a house, how to fix cars, how to work with metal… when children grow up sheltered from everything the world has to offer, with all choices constantly made for them without their input, it is NO WONDER they would prefer to spend time in a space with THEY create, THEY control, where THEY can choose what they will and will not engauge in…
Timothy…
The games are just the easiest and quickest excuse to entertain themselves.
When I was a kid, I really wanted to ride a bike. That got me freedom and access to all my friends in the neighborhood. Our joy was saving up pennies, nickles and dimes and riding to the candy store about three miles away. Was I addicted to candy?
Then, I worked very hard (I was a poor student, diagnosed hyperactive… Ritalin child), but I worked very hard and learned to drive. So then it was about seeing friends and fixing my car. I learned all about tools and hardware. I made money for gas and for auto parts and hanging out with friends after school and weekends.
My point is, I had goals and to get those goals accomplished, I had to learn how to interact with friends and how to fix things and use tools. I spent springs and summers mowing lawns, fall raking leaves and winters shoveling driveways for money. I was not a team sports person, but I liked to play tennis and snow ski and swim. We were outdoors and socializing because there was only three channels on TV and that was boring. So we found other things to do and we LEARNED things.
Playing video games, all you learn how to do is beat the system. You are limited with social interaction as defined by the game’s interface. I like to think of it as a biosphere. The sick thing is, all you do is accomplish the same goals time and time again. That would be like changing the oil in your car over and over again. Wouldn’t that be considered compulsive behavior?
My son has none of these skills and trying to drag him off his computer to learn something is incredibly difficult. I say to him “you need to know this in case…” and he always has some kind of answer about how he will get the help he needs, somehow.
My son is in his second year in college and is simply not living up to his potential. If his grades do not improve this semester, I’m going to yank him out and seek professional help. I think some kind of intervention is in order.
My husband of 5 years plays video games at least 30 to 40 hours a week. If he doesn’t get to he becomes angry and annoyed. While he is playing a game if I bother him to get his attention he get angry and starts to scream at me. His brother is 14 and comes over every week end, and all they do is play a game which makes matters worse because he backs him up. All he does is play games the sad thing is it is always the same game. We have two kids and the only time they get with their father is when they are pretending to play the game because they are under the age five so my husband gives them a controller that doesn’t work
sigh..my husband broke his hand while playing mario kart wii. He was so mad that princess peach cut him off that he slammed his fist down on the carpeted and thickly rugged floor that he broke a knuckle. He doesn’t play that game anymore, but has moved on to another. It as always been that way. If I mention the gaming as being a prob. then I am a nag. He says it doesn’t matter if it is 5 min. or 5 hours I would still be upset. I am so OVER video games. It’s lonely not having him spend time, real time with his 3 children and myself. We get 30 min. here or there. He can’t even spend 1 day without the puter.
ultimatum time, dear- you and the children or him and the computor. See a lawyer first.
I had a girfriend I just left 2 days ago for an online video game addiction. She is at the point of 16 hour days. The worst part is she feels she is doing something productive because she has surrounded herself with the same people. Her friend was sleeping on our floor for 4 days and when I asked my girlfriend to go on a date with me she brought her friend with. She used to hang out with me and my friends but now refuses to because it is to boring. I even whent as far as to tell her I was going to leave and when it came down to it she said I can have the tv and everthing else if she could keep the system. I know I did the wrong thing letting her keep it but do not want to fight anymore about her finding a job and getting off the game. How do I help her without her shutting down or getting mad at me?
You guys are going a little over board with this although it may be addictive the slightest bit I do think the children grow these habits from neglection from others outside the room.Maybe they were just not chosen to be involved like others so they found something they could always have around no matter what.
Taylor, I saw your comment and thought maybe you have a little insight into some kids and video addiction. Our youngest grandson has been a video game addict since he was about 9 years old. His mother was in and out of the house for a few years and his dad was too busy to give him much attention (negative, only). Now, he’s so addicted that he doesn’t go to school at all. He is still considered a freshman in some classes (he’s 15 now), and I don’t believe he’ll graduate in the next few years. His mother insists he has an illness so was able to put him on homebound status so a teacher visits him a few times a week to do school work with him. He stays up until dawn and sleeps all day. The only friends he has anymore are the kids he plays games with on-line. He is almost a recluse now. He will only come out of his room to say hi when we are at the door. He eats some, but is back in his room as soon as possible. Don’t know how we can help him since his mother is in so much denial regarding how he is behaving. Can’t tell her anything.
Alrighty, well, here goes. I’m 14 years old, and I am quite positive I have a video game addicition. My game time varies, as I do take part in a few of the more time-consuming school activities. In a normal school day I play about 7-8 hours, and both my parents work. I am not the addict who is a complete basement-dweller, in fact I hate my house’s basement. However, I believe it has a lot of negative effects on my life, I get around 6 or less hour of sleep everyday(even on the weekends sometimes) due to videogames. My grades are dropping, and I know I exhibit a lot of video game addiction symptoms. I, of course, want to get help. Any suggestions would be welcome. My problem is, however, it would be very hard for me to get help. I am sure you all know what the term “awkward” means, and I am VERY awkward in conversation. I am a social outcast. My mother is very confrontational to me sometimes, and, cold as this may sound(please don’t judge..) I don’t love her very much. My father, to put it simply, is a talker and not a doer. Thus, I don’t know how I could get help from my parents. My school is ok, but the guidance counselors are not that good. I pretty much don’t know them at all, so it would be very awkward to come in one day and just say “I have a gaming addiction, please help me!” I know it sounds like I’m trying to rule out every possible option for whatever reason, but this is how i see it as of now. I don’t know what to do to stop my
addiction, and I don’t want to waste myself because of it! Any suggestions
would be useful. Help!
Dear Ben – Firstly I want to say how brave you are confronting your gaming addiction. Secondly, you are obviously an intelligent young man to have written what you did. I hope you have found yourself some help, through school or try emailing this very wise man in New Zealand- John Mc ewan . You can see his info on DRStress or google him. He is on You tube. I think you will have to lead the way to your recovery and I believe you have it in you to recover and make new friends and get involved in real things. I suggest helping out at a local garden centre or make a garden if you can as that is the best healing. All the best bright brave young man.
I would like to add that prevention is better than treatment. This deals with more than parents putting a foot down on gaming. Social structures need to be stronger which encourage kids to spend more time together with less addictive entertaining things to do. The opportunity also needs to exist for an outlet from being bullied. I’ve turned to gaming before for both of those reasons. We all know that bullying can be part of life, but it shapes kids’ futures.
Forms of punishment for addiction often hide the addicted individual from seeing other potential in the world. Instead of making them feel guilty, invite them to do something new, that may appeal to them. Encourage and reward them for doing something different. Outdoor sports are not always the answer, as addition can follow. When you’re not able to feed your addiction to that, one may feel withdrawal and turn back to gaming. It’s easy to come back to gaming because it is everywhere, cheap, personally rewarding at times, and socially engraved for many.
I struggle with this addiction when I move to new places that lack social structure, especially as I am in my 20′s.
I’m addicted addicted to one game,and spend over sixty hours in the game per week. I take breakes in between and eat normally. It does effect my social life, I don’t go out a lot. My mom is always angry when Im playing.
It wasn’t like this a year ago. I was always outside ingage in phiscal activity. I really enjoyed parkour. But because of parkour I broke my ankle. After laying bed for a week Ithiught maybe I could do something fun and thats when I started playing games.
Now I only play one game and I have maxed out everything but itis still fun. I know spending 8 hours in the game is too much. Their are no treatment centers in my country. Is there anyway I can limit myself. I think max 2 hours a day would be a good limit. Can I achieve this with will power?
It effects my school work a lot. I have no motivation to sit down and study.
My husband has been playing video games since he was a young teenager, and when we got married he still played every once in a while. But we were nineteen when we were married, so I thought as he got older he would slowly out grow video games. Last year in October we started to fight, and he started to spend all of his free time playing video games. He stopped talking to me, locked his cell phone, and would hide in our bedroom. In late november I manged to check his cell phone and found out that he had been texting a girl since the fighting began in October. He was going to move to her state and take our son with him. I was broken, I asked him about the girl and the last few months. He had been trying to push me over the edge so I would leave him. That way he wouldnt feel bad for wanting to leave our marriage. She was a girl he met in his online video game. we agreed the best way to fix what was broken, was to change things in our lifes. He still plays online, he still talks to her online but only as “friends” and he gos out of his way to talk about how happy he would be if he was single and free from the mess of kids, and the large bills that follow. He seems only happy when his playing online, when his not playing online he talks about good times playing and he cant wait to log back on soon. Will things get better? When I tell him he plays too much, he just gets mad and says he never gets time to himself, which isnt true because I cant talk him into doing anything outside of the house. Im not sure how to appreach him anymore. are we fixable or broken?
I think that is a serious problem. You might want to ask him how he feels about you.
Yeah I know some people that exhibited these symptoms to the letter when City of Heroes an online MMO got shutdown.Many are still “grieving” over it, as they put it, even after over 4 months of closing. Many even compared it to losing a family member and some said it was worse. Not sure how a game is more important than a family member but to them it seems to be the case. While some people brought it up and suggested that some should seek help, especially after some said they are going to commit suicide or fell into depression, they angrily lashed out. Like an addict, many dont like being told the truth and being told that wantign to cause harm to yourself over a video game or to others is not normal healthy behavior. I hope, the ones that are still around, seek the help they need soon or it might be a long road in life ahead of them and a video game closing as unfortunate as it is, does not mean the end of the world.
They can although it may be hard to near impossible in their mind, to find a society and people in real life that is willing to support them and help them get over this unhealthy behavior if they are willing to open their eyes to the reality of the situation and realize the unhealthy nature of their behavior. It will probably take some time, and probably wont be easy but it doesnt help when they surround themselves with fellow addicts that are living under the delusion that wanting to kill yourself, sinking into deep depression, wanting to do bodily harm to other people and thinking losing a game is worse than losing a close family member is healthy like the group on cohtitan.com. While losing a game to some may be crushing, when it gets to a point when they want to do things as decribed above, and surrounded by people that htink the same, some may actually go out and carry it out over a video game. And hurting someone physically or themselves is not going to bring the game back.