A Marriage Without Regrets – Do You Regret Getting Married?

Do you regret getting married? Have you ever said to yourself “I regret getting married”? Is your marriage a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage? If you could do it all over again, would you still choose to be married to your spouse? Are you planning on getting married? Why? The sheer number of unhappy marriages and staggering divorce rates should give dating and/or engaged couples reason for pause, and serious consideration into building a happy marriage without regrets in order to avoid divorce altogether.

According to a study of 4000 married couples carried out by market research firm OnePoll.com, a quarter of married men and women regret getting married to their spouses, while 15% of engaged couples planning to get married have misgivings about their upcoming nuptials. Is it “cold feet” pre-wedding jitters, or is there something more serious going on? Why do people regret getting married?

The average married couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage, according to the research poll. “We tend to think of marriage as something people do when they are in love but this survey reveals that people tie the knot for all sorts of different reasons,” OnePoll’s John Sewell said. “And many of them aren’t sure they want to get married — even as they are standing at the altar saying their vows, which may worry some brides and grooms-to-be.”

  • Four percent of the married people surveyed said they had gotten married for the wrong reasons, because they wanted wedding presents and a party, not because they were in love.
  • 23 percent said they would not marry their partner if they could do it all over again, and 14 percent wished they had married someone else from their past.
  • Only 28 percent confessed to being virgins when they met their future spouse, with some respondents saying they had slept with an average of four people before they met their marriage partner, and five percent admitted to having 20 or more previous sexual partners.
  • 35 percent said the person they married was not the best sexual partner they have ever had and another 33 percent said that being single was more fun than being married.
  • 12 percent of people surveyed said they stay with their partner just because they couldn’t be bothered to find someone new.
  • Fifteen percent of husbands and wives admitted to lying to each other about their love lives, with most decreasing the number of previous sexual partners while two percent admitted to boosting the number.
  • 83 percent of those surveyed said they couldn’t be bothered to celebrate the date they tied the knot by their third anniversary.
  • Seven out of ten men admitted they were so comfortable with their spouse they frequently left socks, pants and other dirty washing lying around the house, while 79 percent admitted they no longer bothered to put the toilet seat down.
  • 75 percent of men and women said they wouldn’t relinquish control over the remote control to their other half, even if they asked nicely.
  • Two thirds of the married women polled said they no longer put forth the effort to dress up and look nice for their spouse. Nearly a third said they stay on the far side of the bed, claiming they don‘t have time for sex with their husbands.
  • 54 percent of women polled no longer bothered wearing make-up; 61 percent admitted that they throw on a ratty T-shirt, comfy tracksuit bottoms or pajamas as soon as they got home from work, and 10 percent of married women said they don’t bother to wear sexy lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom.
  • 83 percent of couples surveyed held hands often while out during the first few months of marriage, compared to just 38 percent after a decade of being married.
  • Prior to the first wedding anniversary, partners would cuddle and hug more than eight times a day- compared with five or fewer after ten years of marriage. 60 percent said they hadn’t been surprised with a romantic night out since getting hitched.

John Sewell said, “It would appear that many are stuck in a rut, and whilst they still love their other half, they’re a little too comfortable in each others company. Couples need to find a good balance between feeling comfortable and taking each other for granted. The odd romantic meal would probably be all many couples need to spice things up a bit – and small gestures such as tidying up, and helping out with the housework would go a long way.”

Right and Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Marriage regrets often happen because dating and/or engaged couples haven’t considered their reasons for wanting to get married in the first place. Couples don’t think about the pros and cons of marriage, but choose to focus their time, attention and financial resources to the Cinderella wedding fairytale fantasy while planning a wedding that lasts just one day.

There are good reasons to get married and bad reasons to get married, but brides-to-be and grooms-to-be often pay too much attention to planning the fairytale fluff of the wedding day ceremony and reception, rather than planning and preparing for marriage and the difficulties that go with being married after the wedding day is over.

Brides-to-be often plan their wedding at The Knot Wedding Shop where decisions are made about the wedding budget, wedding dress, flowers, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, wedding cake, grooms cake, wedding rings, wedding invitations, chapel or wedding venue options, the honeymoon, DJ, photographer and video etc. Your wedding day is just one day out of the rest of your life.

Marriage Without Regrets

If you really want a marriage without regrets that lasts a lifetime, you need to prepare for marriage, starting with asking the hard before marriage questions every couple should ask and answer before getting married in order to have a happy, successful marriage without any regrets.

  1. Resolving conflict in marriage
  2. Understanding each partner’s role
  3. Improving the sexual relationship
  4. Becoming financially wise
  5. Respecting and keeping marriage vows

Getting married for the wrong reasons can quickly lead to an unhappy marriage ending in divorce, because couples did not prepare for marriage properly, were too young to get married or didn’t consider the fact that being married and being happily married are two entirely different things.

See: How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

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44 Responses to “A Marriage Without Regrets – Do You Regret Getting Married?”

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  1. Amy says:

    I have been living without sex, Its been 45 years now and that was the first and last time. MY HUSBAND DECIDED on our wedding night that he didn’t like sex. He said it was to much work, no excitement or pleasure, and got nothing out of it, plus it was disgusting. I should of figured before we were married he never tried to get me to have sex, in fact he didn’t even try to touch my boobs or anything. So I picked a real loser. We’ve lived apart he worked midnights for 40 years, and slept in the basement. We rarely talk to each other. He’s a lonely person goes no where, hasn’t any friends, just stays cooped up in the basement with no phone, TV, or computer
    Do I regret getting married YES!

  2. Man_A says:

    I got married just before I turned 20. I was an international student and ended up getting married and got my citizenship. While I love my wife, I feel like I gave up so much geetting married at an early age. We have been married for 6 yrs, while she is a good person, I feel empty on the inside. I feel like I will not be married today if I had my citizenship before I got married. Or I would not have rushed into marriage. While we have some good times, I just feel like I did not get to enjoy my youthful years as I had to give up a lot of things such as friends and networking with professionals. Before I married my wife, I left my previous girlfriend who I loved very much because I did not want to play between two people. I feel unhappy most times and wonder what my life would be like if I was still single and developed my self more before getting married. During our 4th yr of marriage we went through a very rough time and my wife ended up cheating on me 3 times with the same guy. I thought this would be my way out, but I did not file for a divorce. Sometimes, I regret not ending the marriage after the cheating incident. We kind of worked our way through it. My trust for her has not been the same ever since even though she promises it will never happen again. I’m so confused right now on what to do. 2 years later, here I am feeling all depressed and unhappy about my life. I don’t hang out a lot of my friends like I used to before I got married. I barely have any friends. I feel I can still get out while I’m still young instead of being unhappy, miserable and worrying about what other people think. I’m just at crossroads right now.

  3. JonJon says:

    I got married because of parental pressure. Although they didn’t force me to marry this particular woman, I thought, “Why not, she’s cute, she’s a good girl and seems like she will be a good wife.” Well, a week after my marriage, I already regret being married. This has nothing to do with my wife. She is a good woman. I just hate responsibilities and having the seeing the same over again and again. There are times I want to be alone. There are times I want my wife to stay quiet for the whole night. So now, being married for less than a month, I want a way out. Again, my wife is an awesome woman. I just hate being tied down to the same woman for the rest of my life. This is sad. I enjoyed the time I was dating various women prior to marriage. I like the thrill of dating multiple girls and having many female companions. Now, sigh. I know you all think I should grow up but then…

  4. ChargingCharlie says:

    Totally regret getting married. Didn’t date anyone for over four years after breakup with girlfriend, and spent my time doing single guy stuff. My one friend that I hung out with met his current wife (bitch, I might add), so decided that I should try internet dating. Met my wife, and got married a few years later. Went OK for a bit, but now that the kids are here, it’s nothing but constant nagging (don’t feed the kids right, don’t change their diapers right, blah blah blah). Have had sex four times in three years (always too tired, not in the mood, etc). I wish I could go back in time and not do online dating and just stayed single doing what I want to do.

    If someone could just invent a time machine……

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  3. […] over and the reality of being married sets in. It’s pretty sad that so many married men and women regret getting married, usually because they didn’t take the time to carefully ask themselves and each other the […]

  4. […] “Real men are perceived as committing “till death do us part” for the wrong reasons — they marry out of convenience or under duress, and they acquiesce, kicking and screaming all the way to the altar”, according to the article. If recent statistics are correct, men are choosing to marry later in life, with the average age being 28 before experiencing their “ah ha” moment, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, there are still many young men and women getting married too young, and far too many couples get married for the wrong reasons and end up regretting it later. […]