Nail biting (onychophagia) is a nervous habit I know all too well. I’ve been biting my nails since I was a child, and as much as I’d like to say that I’ve learned to stop biting my nails now that I’m an adult, I’m embarrassed to admit that my wish to quit biting my nails is still a problem for me.
I’ve been researching the causes and consequences of nail biting, as well as searching for a cure for nail biting. Everything I’ve read so far says that nail biting occurs in times of stress, anxiety, excitement, boredom or inactivity and can be a learned behavior from family members. If you bite your nails too, and you’re habit is anything like mine, you also bite your nails without realizing you’re doing it.
It seems that no matter what it is that I’m doing, such as reading, watching television, talking on the phone, researching and writing articles for my websites, I bite my nails without thinking about it or realizing I’m doing it, and then I notice my fingernails are nearly bitten down to the quick.
Nail Biting Cure
My parents tried everything they could think to try and get me to stop biting my nails, including painting fingernail polish on my nails, which I’d just bite off anyway. Soap, shampoo, jalapeno sauces, iodine, spankings and grounding me didn’t work either. In my opinion, the quickest way to turn your child into an extreme nail biter is to start smacking or spanking them for biting their nails, which only makes a bad habit worse. Just don’t do it.
I’ve tried to stop biting my nails on my own many times over the years, even managing to grow my natural nails for several months and enjoy caring for my nails myself by filing and painting them so they look nice all the time. Until, suddenly and without warning, I’ll be reading or watching t.v. and I’ll catch myself chewing on my fingernails, but it’s too late. They’re gone, and I have to start all over again.
According to the statistics and studies done on nail biting, 28-33% of children ages 7-10 years old, 44% of adolescents, 19-29% of young adults and 5% of older adults (like me) are nail biters. One study showed 45-60% of children between the ages of 8 to 11 have a habit of biting their nails, which tends to peak between the ages of 10 and 18.
Opinions on what causes nail biting vary widely, with some believing it is due to high levels of stress and anxiety, while others say the habit appears during quiet, solitary, inactive moments such as when relaxing watching television. My experience tells me it’s the latter of the two.
How To Stop Biting Your Nails
Fingernail biting is a habit that is not easy to quit or control. I’ve read statistics and research on how to stop nail biting, including the findings that say nail biting doesn’t have any long lasting negative effects, but chewing nails occasionally or regularly means you and I have ugly, unsightly fingernails and that’s just not okay with me.
I’ve spent a ridiculous amount of money paying for manicures and fake nails over the years, but I just want to quit biting my nails once and for all. I’ve researched “nail biting”, “nail biting cure” and “nail biting treatment”, because this adult nail biting habit of mine has got to stop. If you’re ready to stop nail biting like I am, I’ve recently found a couple of options that just might be the perfect solution for you too.
I’ve read some stories from other nail biters who’ve said nail biting hypnosis helped them stop biting their nails, but I’m not ready to go that route quite yet. That’s not to say that hypnosis treatments for nail biting doesn’t work, because maybe it does, but I’m more inclined to try MAVALA Stop For Nail Biting or the control it nail biting cream to help me stop chewing on my nails.
Some have suggested trying the “rubber band” method, where you wear a rubber band around your wrist, and every time you start biting your nails you’re supposed to snap the rubber band hard enough on yourself to make you stop. Sorry, but that just sounds silly to me. The other thing I’ve done in my efforts to quit biting my nails is that I’ve ordered the book, Stop Your Nailbiting!: Permanently
Do you bite your nails or did you used to bite your nails but have since quit? Does one or more of your children bite their fingernails and you’re trying to get them to stop? If you used to be a nail biter, what helped you to stop?
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Oh yeah Lin, I have had this habit and I guess I still do to quite some extent. In fact, I have got over my habit of biting my hand nails. But what I cant get over is the habit of chipping off my toe nails
Just like you said.. While watching T.V., reading something or just talking over the phone.. My hands seem to automatically reach for the toes and begin scraping at them. Result: I have such horrible looking feet. I have tried wearing socks and all. But sometimes the urge is so strong that I end up removing the socks and then again its not a very feasible option during summers.
Hi Janet,
I’ve never gotten into a habit of chipping toe nails, but from what I’ve read online, that’s a common habit that goes right along with biting fingernails. It will be nice though to stop paying for these fake nails all the time. The things I could do with all the money I’ve spent on acrylic nails would probably pay off my car payment and then some.
Lin, talking about the nail biting syndrome, my brother, Rayno used to bite his nail while he was eight-year-old. Luckily, my mother found his bad habit and told him not to do it, especially in the public. After about a year of advice, he finally stopped the nail biting and move on his life…
I personally think that nail biting might be caused by the lack of confidence or some traumas/incidents that happened on someone’s life! In able to overcome the matter, they should find out the roof of the problem first…
Hi Wilson,
From what I’ve read, there are a large variety of reasons why people bite their nails. For me personally, it was a habit I developed watching my older brother do it as a child and I picked it up too. No big traumatic occurrence in my life caused me to start biting my nails. I haven’t been able to bite my nails for quite a long time now because I always have fake nails on, but if I were to take the nails off, I have no idea if I’d go right back to chewing my nails again. I plan on taking my fake nails off soon, once I have that nail cream and after I’ve read the book, and hopefully I won’t bite my nails anymore. Ever.
Lin, thank goodness you’re recover from this nail biting stuff, Lin. Honestly, I think I’m also have an odd habit, where I love to scratch my nose frequently. I knew it wasn’t a good manner, but I just can’t help to stop it here.
Do you have any good suggestion to me, Lin?
Hi Wilson,
So many people develop habits like biting their nails, biting their toe nails (eeewwww), biting on their fingers and chewing at the skin (another eeeewwww), and scratching stuff.
I would guess that scratching your nose a lot might mean you have allergies to something in the air. Seasonal allergies of mountain cedar, pollen and other allergens cause me and many other people to rub or scratch at our nose because it itches. Other than that, I don’t know.
Thank you for this excellent post about a serious problem too often mimimized. These behaviors are often early signs of developing problems with self mutilation even though denial is rampant about that. Anyone inflicting pain and causing injury to themselves is self-mutilating and needs to deal with the underlying problem as well as the obvious habit. On this issue, I speak from experience as well as from academic knowledge.
Hi Nancy! Thanks for stopping by. Fortunately, self mutilation isn’t anything I’ve ever even thought of or considered for myself, although I realize self injury is a serious problem for some. I recognize that my habit of biting my nails was learned at a very young age, and I know why I started biting my nails and why it’s been nearly impossible for me to stop. Thank goodness for fake nails.
Hello Lin and Nancy- it is to your comments that i would like to reply to. As it is this is my first time researching this problem on the computer. I, embarrassingly enough, have the bad habit to which you refer as “another ewwe”, and in all honesty you’d be right, however i would like to tell you a little about me possibly to make you a little more open, and to give you a little more understanding of someone with my problem, which in many respects is similar to yours.
I am not without flaws, or times of stress, but there is no denying that comparatively speaking, i am a fairly normal, person. Someone, i imagine, that most would not suspect to have a habit that leaves my fingers bloody. I am unusually blessed with a supporting family, and wonderful friends who make my life fairly stress-free. As of this year i am a freshman in college, however i do not drink, smoke, or do drugs, and i prefer taking my dog to the local park, looking at the view and talking with my sister, to partying. However i have had this habit ever since i was a little girl. I honestly cannot remember when it started, but often times it scares me, because it is something so contradictory to myself. I do it, though when i am bored watching tv or something, but when i catch myself doing it i can stop- i feel like stress does make it worse, but i do not have any traumatic life stories. If anything i worry about other people’s problems too much, because i don’t like seeing other people upset. Anywho, because i have this problem i am extremely aware of when other people do it, and i can tell you from simple observation that many people have this habit, in-fact my mom, who is a peach, does it but i don’t think she started until after i had it because i don’t remember ever seeing her do it until the last few years. I guess i just didn’t want both of you to think that most people with this problem are deranged psycho’s who grow up to cut themselves or become drug dealers- you may know this already but i just wanted to further the point, while asking for information, or anything that could help me understand this better, or help me stop- it is a rather embarrassing, dark habit and as i said before i don’t really want to make my family worry. sorry this is a rather long message. actually talking about this is kind of hard for me
by the way thank you for finding the info you already have, and being brave enough to talk about your own habits- it is very helpful. Best of luck
Hi Steph,
I do NOT think that people who bite their nails, chew their skin etc are or end up becoming psycho’s in any form or fashion. None whatsoever.
I personally believe the reason why kids and adults bite their nails or chew on their skin around their fingers etc is ’cause it’s a learned behavior over a period of time. I also crack my knuckles on my both hands and my toes. The same older brother who taught me how to bite my nails is the same brother who taught me how to crack my knuckles too. Two of my daughters bite their nails and one daughter also bites the skin around her fingertips, and I know they learned it from me years ago.
Stress is something a lot of people don’t even realize they have. You don’t have to experience some horrific childhood trauma of some kind to deal with stress related behaviors. Just being a college student means you have stress. Worrying about what others are thinking or saying about the nail biting habit brings on more stress. By the time a person adds up all the various ways of having stress through a day, a person may be so incredibly stressed out with various kinds of concerns or worries that they don’t even realize how stressed out they really are.
Steph, I remember years and years ago someone telling me the way to quit biting my nails was to “reduce your stress”. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed as hard as I did when I heard that. Easier said than done is the understatement of the century.
Learned behaviors such as nail biting or cracking knuckles etc don’t necessarily get learned from members of our immediate family. Kids can learn these bad habits from observing others in the world – perhaps a neighbor, a schoolmate, distant relatives only seen on occasion, neighborhood pals, a school teacher, etc. Where the habit was initially learned may not be knowable, but I don’t really think it matters that much knowing who taught me to bite my nails etc. Knowing doesn’t help me learn to stop doing it.
Almost three months ago, I took my fake nails off and have been growing my natural nails again and they look great. I keep my nails trimmed and shaped short, since I do a lot of typing on the keyboard (obviously LOL), so having long gorgeous nails just isn’t realistic for me.
The book I mentioned above is great, and I also got myself some “hard as nails” nail polish from the store and usually remember to keep putting that on. I’m really hoping that I’ve gotten over biting my nails, but if by chance I one day discover that I’ve bitten my nails off again, I will absolutely rush to the store and get some of the Mavala – I’ve read some great reviews on it and I do believe many people have been helped to quit biting their nails with it.
Nail biters are not psycho’s by any means. Hang in there, and keep on trying to stop. I would also highly recommend having your doctor do a series of blood tests on you to see if POSSIBLY your vitamin/minerals/blood sugar etc levels may be off somehow. I mention that because a few years ago, I had a terrible terrible habit of chewing on ice. Not big pieces of ice, but tiny pebble ice used at some convenience stores. I actually became addicted to chewing on ice! Lots of ice too! My doctor ran some tests and discovered I was severely anemic and my body was starving for the iron found in the ice. The crazy thing about that was I have always been good about eating lots of healthy foods and getting my vitamins and minerals from eating healthy, and I have been taking vitamins and supplements including IRON for many years now, but I still became anemic. Keep on trying to stop Steph, and at least allow your doctor to rule out any vitamin/mineral deficiencies in your system.
Lin, everyting you wrote above is me. I am 38 and bad as the day I found my fingernails as a baby. It has to stop and I am now desperate. Options for men to use false nails as a means of covering up the problem don’t seem an option. And I have no idea what else can work as I’ve tried many different things. Any advice welcome.
Hi Brett,
Since I have managed to stop biting my nails and have pretty decent looking real nails now, I would strongly recommend starting first with an appointment with your doctor. Really I do. Being someone who researches and researches topics as I do, there is valid reason to consider the possibility (liklihood?) of a vitamin/mineral deficiency of some kind that may have much to do with the problem of nail biting. Even chronic, acute nail biting. Have your doctor run a full, complete blood test on you, in search of any/all deficiencies you and your doctor may not know about at this point. Even if a person believes strongly that they’re eating right, getting the right amount of nutritional benefits from wise food choices, research studies I’ve read about strongly suggest that most people are STILL deficient in one or more areas. Find out what, if any, those are and how those may be related to nail biting.
I think I’ve mentioned before here that one deficiency found in many people who bite their nails incessantly are likely deficient in iron, and others. People who are iron deficient have been known to chew ice (me too) and even eat dirt. Yep, dirt. Start with a blood test and work from there. Consider seeing a nutritionist besides just your doctor. I’m not the type of person to jump head first into taking prescription meds for this or that ailment. I believe strongly in the importance of proper nutrition, and even people who “eat right” and avoid junk foods etc often find they are shocked to discover they are lacking in many of the most basic things related to their health and wellness. Shocked, stunned beyond belief. Get your blood tested, make an appointment with a nutrionist in your area and learn everything you possibly can get your hands on about the various causes of nail biting. Good luck!
Every time you catch yourself putting your hands in your mouth… remind yourself of all the things you have touched and how many germs they are covered in… you are introducing a huge host of germs directly into your mouth… not appealing!
I too have bitten my nails starting when i was very young, no one in my family bites their nails except me not my mother father brother
not even my children I am a grandmother and my grand children don’t bite their nails. I too have tried many things as a child my parents tried everything to get me to quit. As an adult I have tried the fake nails and found myself chewing them off as well. I would love to quit the habit. It almost sounds like we are addicted. Yes I have stress who does not.
Too bad a doctor could not get in on this conversation we are having to give some suggestions.
Kay,
Have you been to the doctor to run some blood tests to see if you might have a vitamin deficiency of some kind? Several years ago I was diagnosed with Severe Anemia which the doctor said contributed to the nail biting problem because of having a severe iron deficiency. ??
I’m so happy that this conversation continues because I think it is such an important one. The iron deficiency possiblity is fascinating. I always wondered if the possibility of some kind of deficiency wasn’t part of the problem. Look forward to learning more about that aspect of nailbiting/flesh chewing.
I’d like to say again that nailbiting that includes blood and pain is considered by many as a form of self-mutilation…but that does not mean one must be “psycho” if one does it. However, as a former nail-biter and one who suffers from mental illness I find the suggestion offensive that either means I am “psycho.”
I also think it is as difficult to defend something so painful and potentially dangerous as nailbiting often is as nothing more than a bad habit…to say so is about like saying that smoking is nothing more than a bad habit.
CP,
My iron deficiency was so severe and lead to all sorts of health problems for me, which required surgery to correct. There are so many things we take for granted with our health, and since we’re not doctors or medical experts, it’s so important for us to see our doctor and ask that diagnostic tests be run to find out IF there is a medical reason for nail biting or any other health problem. Our bodies are very complex and simply guessing or “self diagnosing” as to the causes for nail biting, without seeking the advice of professionals in the field of medicine, is treading dangerous ground.
hmmm… my comment spammy? well here’s another try then…I absolutely agree with you, Lin. I think my point is similar in that denial can be a dangerous thing in regard to any subject. Minimizing nailbiting concerns me in particular when it comes to children.
For those interested in how big a discussion nailbiting really is here from a few minutes searching:
(And probably more than most of us want to know!)
http://community.livejournal.com/biters_anon
just one of 50,000 Google search entries for nailbiters annonymous
http://www.stopbitingnails.com/nailinfo.htm
one of 12,900 Google search results on nailbiting/anemia-
http://personalitymooddisorders.suite101.com/article.cfm/nail_biting_the_unsung_self_injurous_behavior
one of 36,600 Google search results for nail biter/self mutilation-
Because I believe nailbiting is a serious issue, I just Twittered this conversation and am about to put it on my Facebook.
Thank you for staying with it…
I’m a professional married man who never outgrew biting my fingernails and toenails.
When I got into the business world, I felt immature and a bit ashamed because I could never control the urge to bite my fingernails to the nubs, even in public. I tried to conceal my hands but that made me more self-conscious and uncomfortable. I finally resolved to accept myself as I am and live with the habit, however socially disfavord it may be. That helped lift a heavy burden of guilt and shame and made me happier with myself.
I still bite my nails all the time but no longer worry about it. The habit is incidental in my life and at worst a minor nuisance. I know the habit is crude and unsanitary, but in my case I found that it is healthier to be nail-biter than worry about it. On a whole, I am a healthy, out-going, and popular guy.
Hi Paul,
Your comment helps prove the fact that men also bite their nails, even into adulthood. I personally cannot imagine giving up on trying to find a way to quit being a nail biter, trying various “cure” techniques etc, but everyone must decide for themselves. The uncomfortable embarrassment of trying to hide your hands from others so they won’t see you are a nail biter is something I can relate to. Having fake nails keeps me from biting my nails and makes my nails look professional and well kept for the business world. I wonder, is there such a thing as fake nails for men? Do nail salons put fake nails on guys, in a way that would make them look natural? I’ll have to ask about that the next time I go to the nail place.
I have done everything more than once to let my nails grow. I am 42 yo. None of the nail products work for me, although the best one I have used is Orly No Bite and No Bite Cream (any polish types do not work at all) I have used hynosis CDs specifically for nail biting. I have used the rubber band technique. I have tried NLP techniques. I have had people nag me to get my fingers out of my mouth. I have tried Paxil. I have had fake nails for a year and was worried I would chip or break a tooth for biting and picking at these as well. I basically have just given up on this issue a 100 times. Resolved to fix other “more important issues” in my life.
Willpower absolutely does not work. There is some urge that causes me to bite. Many times is from the quiet times, reading, driving, watching tv. I do it at work as a means of procrastination when I am stuck on how to move forward on my work project.
Most recently for other reasons I have done neurofeedback. There is lots of information about the usefulness of neurofeedback for many many issues. When I first started after maybe 5 sessions, I realized I just didn’t think about my nails anymore. It was a non issue. It was a crazy freeing feeling when I realized it. I just felt good and had a lot of motivation and got out of bed easier in the morning.
Unfortunately, after changing my protocol for further results I never got back to that place. I will be trying this again in a year or so and do believe for me this is the answer.
Neurofeedback is your brain viewing/hearing itself and correcting/balancing your brainwaves. There are lots of articles about it. ["name" changed and link removed]
My 1 1/2yr old son has a nail biting problem. He bites his nails to the point that they sometimes bleed!! He is a very out going toddler who is loved very much. He also is more active than most toddlers I know. I recently brought him to his doctor to see if she had and solutions to my problem and her opinion was not that his nail biting was stress related but that it was more of a thinking mechanism. Like if you would twirl your hair or pace a room while thinking. Her advise was to try to steer his attention to something else like squeezing a stress ball every time his hands went to his mouth. (which lately is always) One thing to remember….he is only 20 months old!!
Author,
While I am lucky to have never had a nail-biting problem, I unfortunately am inflicted with two other bad habits: lip biting and hair-blowing. They’re disgusting, and I know it! I sometimes bite my lips until they bleed a bit, and the tiny cuts take days to heal (and they sting when you eat or drink). I once bit them so much that I had a deep scar for about 5 months. I am working on kicking that habit now.
As to the hair problem, I simply CAN NOT STOP. Wearing my long hair in a ponytail or a bun works, but as soon as I let my hair down, I’m at it again. I really don’t want to cut my hair short, or put it in a bun/ponytail for the rest of my life. I’ve been doing this since I was 12, and I’m almost 18 now. I’m trying to get a perm where they must put foul-tasting chemicals in my hair so I won’t be tempted. I figure that since I’m going to college soon, I need to kick this unsightly and downright annoying and disgusting habit.
I have asthma, so the hair-blowing thing is probably not the best habit for me. Are there pointers you can give me to steer me in the right direction?
WitsEnd,
According to information found online and suggestions made online, lip biting is very common. Suggestions to stop lip biting include things like using lotion on your lips instead of lip balm or chapstick (probably because the taste of the lotion is rather unpleasant), but I don’t know how effective that solution would be for chronic lip biters. Since you also say you habitually blow your hair and bite your lip, the suggestion found online that many seem to feel worked for them is hypnotherapy (hypnosis) for lip biting and hair blowing. If you haven’t yet seen your doctor for a complete blood test workup/physical, I would suggest starting there to see if there is any vitamin or mineral (or combination) deficencies going on that might have something to do with either or both habits. After that, it would seem reasonable to at least consider hypnosis treatment as a possible way to stop the lip biting and hair blowing. It’s at least worth a shot to try hypnotherapy if nothing else has worked for you.
I bit my nails for FIFTY YEARS, often to the quick and bleeding.
It seemed to be beyond me to quit. I could NOT understand the compulsion, and felt weak and ashamed of my hands and myself.
I read a few of the comments about it being a habit (yes) unconscious (not so much) and so forth. I personally came to feel that there must have been SOMETHING in my childhood that caused the behavior, since I didn’t start biting my nails until about 11 years old, when the family moved to another neighborhood that was a bit more “upscale” than our old one ( which was REALLY a poor neighborhood) I felt rather out of place, true, but I didn’t think that was the ONLY reason I suddenly started biting my nails.
SO one night as I was going to sleep, I suggested to “Higher” self that I reveal the reason behind this self-hurting to my conscious mind. I actually had no plans to stop, just was looking for “why”.
I woke up crying the next morning, a dream about a very humiliating incident in my new school vivid in my mind. Somehow, I knew immediately that biting my nails had stemmed from that experience, one that carried much (childish) shame attached to it; I had never told ANYONE about it as an adult. I realized I had not really resolved it as “beyond my control” (which it certainly was).
I realized them that something had changed…the desire to bite my nails left me. That was 3 months ago.
Perhaps this “therapy” might help someone else, so I am sharing it here. It’s a lot less annoying to try —and far less expensive than all the “remedies” I have read about over the years– and it’s CERTAINLY less expensive than doing the fake nail thing over and over ..which isn’t too good for the nails.
Since I had really damaged my nails, cuticles, nail beds over the fifty years this habit had controlled me, I decided to use a nail strengthener and creams to enforce quitting the habit and try to restore them.
(Even though I have to wash my hands dozens of times a day while caring for Mom)
(I picked Nail Envy, which is available online for about $9 including shipping; it’s more expensive locally, about twice the price). I just use a good hand cream for my cuticles.
I now have nails that almost extend over the ends of my fingers! I would NEVER have believed I could do it….NEVER. I also personally feel a bit stronger, more “in control” of my life now (fringe benefit…lol)
I don’t mean my every day life has changed~ as a caregiver, it’s the same day to day diligence, dealing with senile dementia and medical complications in my mom is still frustrating, sad and sometimes makes me want to run screaming out the door . But my nails are looking really good
Other good news… I’m also becoming a “reformed” housekeeper…lol.
I hope this helps someone out there. and GOOD luck!
Er…I still smoke….that’s next on the list to apply this “therapy” to!
Seeker, what an interesting story to your nail biting. I’m so glad you found what you feel is the cause of you biting your nails and have been able to stop.
I’ve been doing very well myself over the last few months – no fake nails anymore and my own nails have grown out looking so nice and long and healthy looking. I do put nail strengthener on them regularly and various cuticle creams as well. So far so good! I haven’t felt the desire to bite my nails and I haven’t “caught” myself putting my fingers to my mouth either.
It’s been really nice to enjoy having long, healthy nails that aren’t breaking and splitting. I’ve also read recently that using fake acrylic nails for an extended period of time isn’t good for our nails either but I don’t recall right now all the different reasons why.
Congrats on solving your problem of nail biting!
Whats the link to that website cause I also have bitten my nails for 20 years and started fake nails about 6 months ago have finally taken them off cause my nail bed itself started getting real sore. But I have an issue cause I have a pinky nail that has always been real short and once I took them off it grew only a lil bit and broke and i keep messing with it !!!!UGH
This is clearly anecdotal, but I had bitten my nails my whole life. I had tried every possible remedy and had no success (with the possible exception of clear nail polish at least making me notice that I was doing it because it flaked off when I bit….but even that has to be reapplied constantly so its not truly effective). I definitely noticed I am more likely to bite when doing something that takes my attention but leaves my hands free, like watching a movie, driving by myself, etc. Like you, I have gone long periods of time without biting at all, but then reverted and not noticed until my nails were gone. The only thing that has ever stopped it was when I was diagnosed with severe iron-deficiency anemia. I didn’t even notice the connection until I had been taking slow-FE for a while and realized that I had nails. Even now though, if my iron levels drop, I usually notice /because/ I suddenly have no nails.
Grok,
That’s interesting that you mentioned iron deficiency aka anemia having at least some part in nail biting. I’ve often wondered if some kind of vitamin/mineral deficiency of some kind had something to do with the difficulty in stopping. Like people with low iron eating ice (or dirt) because of anemia, and once the anemia has been treated, suddenly the chewing ice habit is gone for good. Very interesting!
I am 42 and have been a nailbiter since I was a toddler. My childhood was fraught with a “mother” who was 16 yo at my birth and liked to reiterate that I was a “mistake” and because of me she had to marry my father. My Poppa could not have been happier when I arrived, he even cut his scalp open at work trying to get out of the plane he was working on to make my delivery. Needless to say, he was held up by the doctor for stitches. From my arrival it was clear that I was the “apple” of my paternal families eyes. I was the first granddaughter, and was a dead ringer of my father and his father. From the beginning I recognized the “burden” I was to the mother. My brother arrived two years later and he was “another spitting image of me, my father and paternal grandfather. However, since he was a boy, the mother preened over continuing the family line. A third child, a daughter, was born two years later, but died 3 days later. A fourth child, a daughter, the miracle baby was born 18 months later. By this time, I was a confirmed nailbiter, a self-proclaimed daddy’s girl and much loved by all family members minus the mother. A very, very bitter divorced followed when I was nine. I was given to the mother and my two younger siblings were placed with my Poppa. I went into hyper anxiety and found ways to cross the 4 lane highway separating me from my siblings, father and paternal family. At age 11, during our court-ordered month long visitation with the mother, she assaulted me and threatened to harm my siblings. I opted to defend myself and my innocent, younger siblings, and commenced in beating her to a bloody pulp. She, after going to the ER, and learning that I had told the police everything (which my sibs confirmed) decide to terminate her parental rights to me. I was still a nailbiter, but whenever my siblings left for court-ordered visitation, I worried myself sick (fearing she would harm them -and they were too little to fight back) I began ripping my nails back into the nailbeds and causing them to bleed, become infected and fester). As time went on, I continued to bite, pick and rip my nails and my cuticles. As I stated earlier, I am now 42 and still biting, ripping,peeling and filing my nails down to nubs. I wear gloves constantly, have stock (or I should) in a bandaid company, and on occasion have artifical nails. I have tried No Bite, hot pepper, rubber band, nail polish,etc… I am at a lost. I feel like people are always looking at my hands. I have even stopped wearing all jewelry, so as to not attract any attention to my hands. I am going to speak with my doctor on Monday, and ask her to order any blood work that could show any deficencies. I believe I am anemic and possibly suffer from low B and D vitamins. What book would you recommend for my nailbiting (treatment) and what topical application? Thanks so much for letting me share my story/journey. T- #13
Wow Tammy, you’ve left me speechless. Your story is a perfect example of the extreme mental, emotional and physical abuse that can easily turn a child into an adult extreme nail biter. Years of abuse and neglect and mental anguish you must have gone through. I’m so sorry you have such a raw story to tell, but I’m glad you’ve chosen to share it here for others to understand some of the causes of nail biting. I’m glad you’re going to have blood tests done by the doctor to check for deficiencies in iron or other vitamins/minerals, because it definitely can contribute to the problem.
At the end of this article, I’ve included a link to the book called Stop Your Nailbiting Permanently by Gilbreth Brown that is very good, and while you’re ordering that you can order some of the “Mavala Stop For Nail Biting” and use that on your nails. I’ve not personally tried Mavala Stop myself, but I’ve heard from several who have and they swear by it. Thanks again for sharing your story and I truly hope your doctor can help shed some light on any other health related possibilities that will help rid you of the nail biting. Hugs!
Lin – Thanks for the kind words, feedback, suggestions and hugs. I have heard of Mavala. I will look into the products. Also, I will look into purchasing the book. I found one product, Control It, for nailbiting, but I am allergic to several of the ingredients. Aside from you, I had one other individual respond to me. I really did not expect a response from anyone, but I am happy that some people heard me, and responded. I will keep you posted on my progress. I see my doctor on Thursday, so hopefully by December 1st I will have some test results back and blood work too. Again, thank you for responding. I really appreciated it, and you. T – #13
Lin – Well, I ordered the book. I read it. I tried. I failed. I keep trying. I am allergic to Mavala – can anyone say “Murphy’s Law?” I just learned about Nail Envy, so I am going to look into it. Have you heard any info on “solar nails” or hypnosis (self)????? Just wondering. T- #13
Hi Tammy, I’ve heard of solar nails and hypnosis, but I haven’t researched the effectiveness of either as far as stopping nail biting goes. As I mentioned to someone else here recently, a visit to the doctor should be the first thing. Have blood drawn for testing to check for any vitamin/mineral deficiencies, even for people who feel they eat a healthy diet of nutritious foods and stay away from most junk. There is tons of information online about how being deficient in various vitamins and minerals etc that effect nails, if they’re brittle and break, if people constantly bite them etc etc. The deficiency testing should be the first order of business and getting any deficiencies brought back to normal levels. Even people who eat extremely rigid, yet very healthy diets, can still be deficient for a variety of reasons. I also suggested seeing a nutritionist for a brief period of time, who can explain and provide much help in learning about how even our healthy foods are likely not giving us all the nutrients we think they are, for various reasons. Get a blood test for deficiencies and visit with a nutritionist for further help, even temporarily. Once I got all of that taken care, my nails have grown and grown and I’ve not even thought about biting them, nor have I been unconsciously and unknowingly been putting my nails in my mouth while busy doing other things anymore. It’s pretty cool to have my nails grow out so far and so strong that I actually have to trim and file them back now. No more deficiencies, no more ugly nails.
Hey Lin! I neglected to mention that I did as you suggested in the previous note. I had blood work done, got the results, began supplementing for vitamin/mineral deficiencies. I also worked with a nutritionist, and we adjusted a few dietary issues. Unfortunately, as I have celiac disease and am allergic to almost everything under the sun, my body tends to be less cooperative. I have found a couple salons that specialized in solar nails, so I am going to schedule a consultation. Personally, I think my nailbiting is stress, boredom, habit and a self-defeating issue. I am working on these with my therapist. When my two-legged therapist is not available, I seek therapy via my equine partner. Sadly, the equine costs more per month, but his results make me smile more and requires more physical activity. Both positive outcomes…
Again, thanks for responding. Take care and keep in touch. T-#13
Tammy,
Based on your history of early childhood trauma, I strongly suggest getting some type of neurofeedback to help you get over these issues. It is much faster than therapy and much more effective, you will actually train your brain to use different neuropathways.
The best out there is BST technologies. Look them up and watch some of the videos.
Over the long run, I think it will help you in all areas of your life, including this fingernail biting.
Please check into this site.
I am not affiliated with them, only a very happy customer whose life has changed.
Elizabeth – Thank you for your response to my email and suggestions. I really appreciated it. I will mention the neurofeedback to my therapist. Due to financial constraints, I have tapered off from therapy, but I am curious. I will also look in to BST. Again, thanks for taking time to respond to my posting. T- #13
Im 16,I’ve been bitting my nails as long as i remember! im at a point were i would like to have nails to nail polish. I want to stop! I’ve heard so many myths and yet nothing makes me stop. fake nails dont work at all i chew them off! I have the same thing as you. I can’t be sitting down watching a movie because i find myself biting them. I’m in class and i bite them off! Sometimes i talk and i notice my finger in my mouth, its so weird! any advice how to stop?my parents have tried everything with me! i’ve been slapped,i’ve been put garlic in my hand,its use less! i think i even like garlic,! please i need an advice, before i’m 18 i want to grow nails! and i also bite items. for example plastic top bottles! and if i go to the doctor what should i tell him? im to shy to say i have a problem.
Sam – consider a dermatologist. They deal with skin and nail issues. Don’t be shy. Be honest and don’t feel ashamed. We are here to support you and offer what knowledge we have…even if we are still struggling with the same issues. I don’t encourage nailbiting, but I do understand the feelings associated with same. Post back – I will listen, and I am sure others will too. T- #13
Onychophagia: Compulsive Nail Biting
My son (12) has this disorder and wants to stop also. We started counseling because he is a “picky eater” and a perfectionist as well, affecting mealtime at home to the point we sought outside help. He is a compulsive nail biter, but that didn’t bother us as much as the food issues he has. I have learned through his counseling that nail biting is classified in OCD — so don’t be surprised if you have other mild OCD tendencies. Having a scientific name for nail biting – calling it a disorder doesn’t mean you are “weird or pschyo.” It just means you are part of a unique population of humanity that experience stress and how they deal with in in a unique way. We all have our triggers and soothing systems. Since this one causes noticable damage to your body, it gets more attention than others. That in itself can start a cycle of concern that keeps the behavior circling. I stress — I soothe. The soothing damages me. I stress. I (subconsciously) soothe. And on….
Read up on OCD and treatment. It is your health and welfare, not just your pretty hands. You may find other areas of your life that come to center as you learn about OCD. It is a mental health issue, requires treatment that’s more than a brush bottle or spray can. …and it’s no different than being sensitve to loud noises or bright lights…Just another form of dealing with life that needs some focus and work–learned redirection. I wish you all success in your journey!
Wow, I just came across this conversation while searching the web for help with my nail biting problem. I am a 32 year old woman and I’ve been biting my paper thin nails for as long as I can remember. Badly! people always freak when they notice how short they are. I’ve actually on a number of occasions, completly removed my pinky nails all together. I’ve gotten the quick down so far that it its very possible. My nails have been wider than they are long forever now. Anyway, I hate it. Its embarrassing that I do It so often that people, whether I know them our not, notice and tell me to stop and get my fingers out of my mouth. Wish it were that easy. I have always hidden my hands from view as much as I could. I have tried fake nails a couple times. The main problem for me with those is that my nails are so thin that it hurts and takes layers off my real nails once I finally remove them. Plus it was hard to keep them out of my mouth at times anyway. Not a perfect solution for me. If I paint them I end up with nail polish in my mouth at some point anyway. Not sure where I’m headed with this… I do know that I was glad to read others comments on this horrible problem. Made me realize that its not just me that can’t stop.
Tammy! For once I felt as though some one REALLY understood me, could RELATE and EMPATHISE with my terrible habit. Strangely enough, I learned to bite my nails as a young child from my mother. It was a conscious decision, and I am re-living it over and over each day – although NOW I REALISE i would actually LOVE to STOP!
There is no cure for me either. I have tried all kinds of remedies and nail creams, and too spent a hefty amount of money of manicures that simply do not last. The nails come off and I go back to biting!
I wish so much that my nails would grow and I could end this horrifiic nightmare. Every person I meet mentiones the horrificness of it and men often mention “that the first thing a man notices is a lady’s hands and fingernails” which just adds to my afinity to bite my nails again.
I need help too!!
Hey Nicky. Thanks for posting, which I just found. I am still struggling. I have discovered that I am allergic to several “stop nailbiting” polishes/creams. I wear gloves 24/7 and hate it. I read a post from earlier and “Nail Envy” was suggested as a possible way to help restore my nailbeds and nails. I am going to research it. I will keep you up to date and promise to respond. For those of you “new” to this site, feel free to share. Most all of us are amenable to trying products, processes and suggestions. You are not alone. We may be a small percentage of the population, but we actually feel as if everyone is looking at us…don’t be ashamed. We can work on this together and support one another in our efforts and research. T- #13
Im still a constant nail biter, at the age of 25, I feel like its time to stop, but theres this uncontrollable need to bite them, and like yourself, its always when im in a relaxed state, reading, or watching a movie. I wish I could explain it.
Im definitely going to keep an eye on any follow-up posts you have about the subject. thanks for posting this!
Hi my name is Tabitha I am almost 15 and I am a biter just like you .I have been biting my nails ever since I’ve had teeth and I might have a solution for you . If those are your nails in the top left corner of your website then that’s what my nails used to look like . nubby and gross( no offense) . I have ALMOST learned to stop and my nails are not fully grown but they are getting there. I use this stuff called Thum for nail biting and thumb sucking. I have used it a couple of years ago and it worked until I got used to the taste (extremely spicy) , now I’m using it again and it seems to be working . I absolutely wish my nails would be pretty and long like my friends and it’s embarrassing when people point out how gross your nails look and you feel as if you need to hide your hands all the time . I was just like you, I would bite my nails without noticing while watching t.v or something of that nature and sometimes when I’m stressed out or nervous i would bite them. I would not only bite the nail I would bite the skin around .. and I used to eat the nail to but now I’ve learned to spit it out because that’s unhealthy. I hope I learn to stop biting my nails permanently and I’m getting there and you could too if you tried Thum for nail biting and thumb sucking. Goodluck !!! (Comment edited by Admin to remove unnecessary product link)
Hey Jessi! I just found your post. See my post to Nicky – consider it a shout out to you too. Post back and keep working on “leaving your nails alone.”
Lin, Elizabeth, Nicky, Jessi, Sam and new posters…I have replied to your posts. Go find them…if you want. Still struggling, but still trying. T- #13
Has anybody out there heard of or tried “Habit Reversal Therapy?” I was reading on another site and it was suggested that HRT is a viable option for nailbiters and skin pickers. Looking for some feedback on HRT…. T- #13
I am a 37 year old, married mother of 4 with no childhood traumas. I have been biting my nails since I can remember. Mother says I started when I became friends with a child down the street that bit. Nevertheless, I have endlessly tried to stop. The only two times that I have stopped for a while and not even tried was once when I was pregnant (??why I don’t know) and the other was when I was initially on Fluoxetine (generic of Prosac) for post partum depression. I can see the OCD link someone mentioned but after being on the meds for about 8-10 months the biting came back. Has ANYONE found any truth to this iron deficiency thing?? If it’s going to be as simple as me taking an iron pill I think I’m going to jump for joy!!!
In your case, I would think it may be more hormonal. It could be iron if you were taking a prenatal with high iron. I would check out your hormones. (Do not get on synthetic hormones) find a naturalopathic or holistic dr that will do blood work on your hormones.
I have been a fingernail biter and eater since early childhood and it has been a source of embarrassment for most of my life. There are so many tricks that I have tried and other people are always so ready with the answers….especially those who do not bite their nails…lol. The one and only thing I have had long term success with is diatomaceous earth. I have a niece who also tried taking it with no success. She admitted that she was not consistent with taking it, though.
A friend suggested I try it for joint aches and after about 3 months, I realized that my fingernails were growing and I had stopped even thinking about chewing them! The fact that my mind was not even thinking about chewing my nails was more impressive to me that actually growing my nails. I can not ever remember a time that I didn’t have that mental desire to gnaw and gnaw and gnaw. That leads me to wonder if the problem may very well be a deficiency for some folks.
My son bites his nails. He started only a few months ago but it’s already an entrenched habit – and he’s only 10. There’s a supplement that is supposed to help sufferers of trichotillomania (hair chewing) and nail biting, bi-polar and OCD, among other things – N-acetylcysteine or N-acetyl-L-cysteine (abbreviated NAC).
I haven’t tried it on my boy yet as I’m not very comfortable with the idea of giving a 10 year old strange supplements, but I will get a tablet I can cut up, and try it. In the mean time, google it (NAC and nail biting). It looks hopeful. Good luck everyone.
Thanks so much for the comments on Diatamaceous earth and NAC. I will start on the NAC next week. It looks like people are starting to see results with the NAC. I will start taking 1200 mg a day. I am a rep for an organic supplement company, so I will be taking theres. Looking forward to it!