Second Child Baby Shower Etiquette – Is a Second Baby Shower Ok?

Is having a second baby shower for a second or third baby ok, according to proper baby shower etiquette? Is it appropriate and ok to have a couples baby shower, where boyfriends or husbands are invited to a coed baby shower? What is a “baby sprinkle” baby shower? Who should throw a baby shower, when should a baby shower be given and who should be invited to the shower?

The question and answer to who gets a baby shower is dependent on who you talk to. Some prefer to stick to the old-fashioned, traditional custom of baby shower etiquette of baby showers only being “allowed” for first-time mothers, and just the idea of throwing or attending a baby shower for a second or third baby is believed to be offensive, greedy and unacceptable.

Traditional rules of who should be thrown a baby shower have changed to a more modern view of also throwing a baby shower for a second child, and in some situations, a third or fourth child. Baby showers are not about greed but are a celebration of the birth of a new baby, and all babies should be welcomed into the world with a celebration party.

Fortunately, society has lightened up quite a bit on the “traditional” customs from past generations of planning a wedding, and it’s about time that so-called traditional rules about baby showers no longer require fitting into a specific category, like baby showers only being proper or appropriate for a first time mother.

Modern Baby Shower

What is a Baby Sprinkle Baby Shower? A “baby sprinkle” baby shower for second, third (or more) babies are becoming more common in our modern society. A baby sprinkle shower is a unique and creative scaled-down baby shower idea for subsequent children after the firstborn child, where a baby is “sprinkled” with gifts instead of “showering” gifts on a baby at a typical, full-blown baby shower.


FREE stuff for the coming baby!
Since the expectant parents have most likely had a baby shower for the firstborn baby, a second or third baby is not likely to be in need of baby furniture like a crib, highchair, car seat, stroller, etc. For a baby “sprinkle” shower, guests bring gifts like diapers, baby wipes, teething rings, undershirts, bath accessories and other necessities that are always on the list of baby needs anytime there is a new addition to the family.

A baby shower is always a lot of fun, regardless if the shower is for a first, second or third (or more) soon-to-be born boy or girl. The archaic tradition to only throw a baby shower for first-time mothers, or where only women are invited, have been replaced to include the father or father-to-be in a couples baby shower if desired.

Couples Baby Shower

From my experience, a coed couples baby shower is often a lot more fun than a baby shower with just a bunch of a women friends, relatives and co-workers. Baby shower games for coed baby showers are often more unique and creative than the tired, worn out games from previous generations our mothers and grandmothers played.

Several years ago and unbeknownst to me beforehand, a few of my friends surprised me with three different baby showers, for three different children. One of the baby showers was held a few weeks before my due date, and the other two showers were thrown a couple of weeks after my second son and first daughter were born, a couple of years apart.

The first baby shower thrown for me was a boy baby shower for my firstborn son, and it was a couples shower that included hysterically fun baby shower games that kept everyone in attendance laughing and having a good time.

In one baby shower game we played, my husband and I were blindfolded and had to race to see who was faster at undressing, diapering and redressing a baby doll, but I haven’t seen that game played at a baby shower in many years.

Planning a Baby Shower

Who should throw a baby shower? When should a baby shower be held? Formal etiquette queen “Miss Manners” may disagree, but anyone can throw a baby shower for an expectant mother-to-be or new mother. Formal, traditional baby shower etiquette says that whoever throws a baby shower must not be a relative to the expectant mother, in order to avoid the appearance of the family simply asking for presents.

In these more modern times, it is perfectly fine for a relative, close friend or co-worker to throw a baby shower. A baby shower is usually held a few weeks before the baby is born, but some mothers prefer a baby shower after the birth, so guests can bring gifts specific to the baby’s sex. It’s always best to confer with the parents-to-be about the What, When, Where and How a baby shower will be held and who should be invited, in order to avoid scheduling problems or conflicts.

My niece is planning a baby shower for my daughter later this month, even though close friends offered to host a girl baby shower for my daughter, since we know it is going to be a girl. Baby shower planning can be very stressful, time-consuming, and expensive if you’re not careful.

My involvement in the planning of the baby shower is very limited, although I’ve offered suggestions and ideas for a cheap baby shower by trimming down the extravagant baby shower list of things not really needed for a “perfect baby shower”. Making your own baby shower invitations allows you the opportunity to create and choose baby shower invitation wording that is unique, creative, personalized and inexpensive, especially when you add baby shower clip art to the invitations.

I wish I knew more about making baby diaper cakes. If I knew how to make a diaper cake  with cloth diapers or disposable diapers for my daughter’s baby shower, my niece wouldn’t be so worried about what to use for a baby shower centerpiece anymore.

If you’ve ever seen pictures of baby shower cakes and diaper cakes online, you know how cute and adorable diaper cakes are for a baby shower. Maybe if I search for “diaper cake directions”, I’ll have better luck finding instructions on how to make a diaper cake in time for my daughter’s baby shower.

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6 Responses to “Second Child Baby Shower Etiquette – Is a Second Baby Shower Ok?”

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  1. wilson says:

    Lin, I was wondering, can we use the those baby shower that contain aromatherapy? Some said that we should shower the baby with warm water, but some of them said it’s better to use the cold water. So, what’s your opinion about this matter?

    • Lin says:

      Wilson,

      I’m not sure what you’re referring to here. At a baby shower, there is no actual showering the baby with water of any kind. A baby shower is just a party that is thrown for the mom who is expecting to have a baby soon, where the baby receives gifts like clothes, toys, baby bottles, pacifiers, baby furniture like a cribs, stroller, baby swing etc.

  2. wilson says:

    Lin, it’s better to choose the baby shower that made from organic, as it has less harm effects to the newborn baby!

    By the way, I bet your daughter have well-prepared for the girl baby shower… :)

  3. Janet Fox says:

    Hi Lin,

    I have never been to a baby shower. Bu I do know the traditions of the ritual. Traditionally it is supposed to be for the first born child.. as in for the “first-time” mother. However in the modern world, parents want to celebrate the joy of parenthood and dont want to restrict the 2nd, 3rd or 4th child from having to go without due celebration. I think as long as you can make a plesant affir.. There is no harm having baby showers. Yeah.. You need to take care about the population control :P lol

  4. Hi Lin – nice article and have to agree that baby showers aren’t about being ‘greedy’ – they are pure and simple a nice way to celebrate the impending new arrival with mum. Growing a baby is an amazing thing and it’s lovely to share in that experience. With a baby ‘sprinkle’ often i find it’s nice if there are going to be gifts to make them gifts for mum instead of baby as mum will already have a lot of baby stuff (and mum will be in need of some pampering!)

    And you should definately have a go at making the diaper cakes (we call them nappy cakes in the UK) – they are pretty easy you don’t need any special skills as such :)

  5. Carol says:

    I had my last child, my 4th, 25 years ago and was blessed to have a shower for each one of my babies. Being a military family, each child was born in a different city so it involved different people. Non the less, I never thought it was tacky or strange to have a shower for each child. I never asked for one; friends and my husband’s co -workers just thought it was a nice thing to do. I think it is a great idea to welcome each baby in this way. The gifts were just a small token as a way to say welcome little one and give encouragment and support to a mom who needs that more with each new baby. Of course if I had any more I might have started to think this is enough! The last thing we need to do though is judge a new mom as being greedy for having a shower for babies after her first. New moms need as much support as they can get.