Can you divorce your parents? How do you divorce your parents if you are an adult child dealing with controlling parents or in-laws, or a teenager seeking legal minor emancipation or “divorce” from your parents? Are you dealing with a toxic, abusive and/or controlling parent and want to know how to “divorce” your parents?
I’ve received several “divorce your parents” email questions in recent weeks, from adult children dealing with over-involved, controlling parents who don’t know how to parent adult children, and from teens who think that getting pregnant on purpose or getting married too young is the way to qualify for emancipation from parents in order to get out from underneath their parents thumb. I’ll first respond to the adult children, then the teens.
If you are an adult child who has been researching “parents controlling adult children” or “controlling parents”, you likely came across my articles about parents helping vs. enabling adult children and didn’t think those apply to your specific situation (or they do apply, but that’s not what you want to hear and you don’t want to admit it).
How To Divorce Your Parents
Based on some of the emails I’ve received, I’d venture to say that there is a strong possibility that you may have a sense of entitlement that makes you want to “have your cake and eat it too”, but you can’t have it both ways.
If you really are dealing with “controlling parents” or in-laws that don’t understand what parenting adult children means or the need for respectful boundaries, these articles will help explain that “divorcing” controlling, toxic parents
Allow yourself the personal right to disengage, disassociate, and detach.
- Toxic Relationships-Toxic Family Members
- What It Means To Let Go
- How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law
- How to Be a Good Step-Parent
- How to Get Along With the In-Laws
Reasons given for adult children divorcing their parents include:
- Parents who hit and/or verbally abuse their adult children despite being grown, married with children and living independently of parents.
- Parents who don’t show even the slightest measure of respect to their grown children, or anyone else.
- Parents who habitually lie and steal money from their own children.
- Parents who purposely attempt to drive a wedge between their married son/daughter and spouse, in an effort to cause a divorce because of not “liking” their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.
I could go on and on with this list of “divorce your parents” reasons, but you get the idea.
Part of being an adult is having the backbone or assertiveness to stand up for yourself and say NO. You can say NO by not answering phone calls or responding to emails or letters, not attending or participating in family functions, and not allowing yourself to get drawn into the insidious, toxic family drama that you find so upsetting.
An “emotional divorce” from parents may be temporary or long-term. You may discover, after a period of time goes by, that you begin to feel the desire to gradually reconnect with your parents, where new rules and boundaries are assertively negotiated and respectfully followed on both sides.
Or, you may find that the time spent not talking to or visiting with your parents over a period of time brings you the peace and tranquility you’ve needed, where you now have no desire whatsoever of ever reestablishing a relationship with your parents. Whether or not you ever decide to reconnect with your parents is a personal decision you have to live with, along with whatever consequences come from your personal choice or decision on the matter.
Emancipation of Minors
What are your reasons to get emancipated? Saying “I want to get emancipated” isn’t good enough. A minor may seek minor emancipation (often referred to as teen emancipation or child emancipation) for reasons such as abuse, neglect, marriage, teen pregnancy, joining the military or just to be an independent adult.
Unfortunately, some teens throw around the “abuse” and “neglect” words quite freely and undeservedly towards their parents rules and guidelines, and think that emancipation of minors is their personal “get-out-of-jail” free card to do whatever they want without any parental oversight or control.
Reality Check: Emancipation decrees are rarely granted and the court reserves the right to rescind the right and place the minor into the care of the state at any time, for any reason, before the minor reaches the age of majority.
Sure, there are some new “rights” after becoming emancipated, but there are other adult “rights” you will be responsible for as well. Such as:
- Support yourself financially. A judge will not grant your emancipation if you are unable to totally support yourself.
- Paying for your own food, clothing and shelter. Getting and paying for your own medical, dental, and automobile insurance.
- Pay all of your own bills. Your income must be from a legal source.
- You must go to school. Emancipation and education laws require minors stay in school, finish high school until they graduate or reach the age of 18.
- Child labor laws still apply, which means you can’t work as many hours as you may want.
- As a minor, you can’t have sex, drink alcohol or vote until you are of legal age. Forget the idea of becoming a teenage pregnancy statistic just to become emancipated. The laws governing unlawful sexual intercourse (“statutory rape”) means it is illegal for a minor to engage in sex with anyone (even if it’s with another minor), unless the teen is married and having intercourse with his or her spouse.
Running away from home and/or having sex anyway could very well show the judge that you are a troubled, rebellious teenager in need of counseling rather than emancipation. Having sex anyway could mean your “significant other” will find themselves on the list of convicted sex offenders; and it will not work to your advantage when trying to convince a court judge that you are “mature” or deserving of emancipation.
Teens, do you know the legal age to move out of the house without parent consent or permission in your state? If you commit a crime (ie. unlawful sexual intercourse) you may be tried as an adult in a court of law. Whether or not you become emancipated has nothing to do with being tried as an adult. (Age of Consent)
There is a big difference between emancipation and divorcing a parent, but far too often, teens don’t take the time to become knowledgeable about minor emancipation laws or ask the necessary questions regarding becoming emancipated, such as:
- What is minor emancipation? Legal emancipation from parents is a process that gives a teen legal independence from his or her parent or guardian before the “age of majority” (18 years old in most states), whereby a minor may petition the courts to be legally responsible for him or herself and no longer under the custody and control of parents.
- How old do you have to be to get emancipated? Emancipation laws vary from state to state. If the state you live in has an emancipation law, (only about half of them do) it usually requires the minor to be at least 16.
- How do you get emancipated? In the United States, there are three main ways to become emancipated.
1. Get married - Getting married too young and marrying for the wrong reasons will put you on the fast track towards divorce so quick it would make your head spin. (See Marriageable Age)
2. Join the military – you must meet the military’s minimal educational requirements and provide a valid high school diploma or GED. The military must still be willing to accept you.
3. Go to court and have the judge declare you emancipated by “judicial declaration”
In order to get a judge to grant an emancipation judicial declaration, you must prove the following:
- You are at least 14 years old (emancipation age varies by state)
- You don’t want to live with your parents and your parents will consent
- You must prove you are mature. How? Do an online search for “signs of maturity” and “signs of immaturity” and see how your maturity level pans out. Witness accounts from friends, teachers, counselors, YOU, employers, and other responsible adults who will provide testimony of various signs of maturity as proof for the court.
- You can financially and legally support yourself
- You must show that emancipation would be in your best interests.
Court cost of emancipation – To get emancipated, legal forms commonly known as “emancipation papers” or “emancipation forms” will need to be filed with the court. The average filing and court fee is about $250.00, plus the cost of your legally required attorney. Attorney fees for emancipation average between $800-$1000, if the petition is not contested by your parents, otherwise the costs could be much higher if parental permission is not granted. Can you afford emancipation?
Do I need my parents’ consent (permission) to get emancipated? Yes. Minors need parental consent (and consent by the courts) to get married and parental permission to join the military. Plus, the armed forces is under no obligation to accept you. To become emancipated, a minor must give his/her parents notice of the court hearing, and the parents may go to court to contest the emancipation.
Parents: You can do an online search for “Prevent your child from becoming emancipated” for more information on that.
Teens, emancipation is a very heavy responsibility and must be taken very seriously. There are alternatives to emancipation as well, such as your parents consenting to you living with another relative or family friend. Otherwise, you will just have to suck it up and deal with your parents like the rest of us until you are automatically emancipated when you turn 18 and can legally move out of the house and be on your own.
Before anything else, I would like some clarification on this.
“The laws governing unlawful sexual intercourse (“statutory rapeâ€) means it is illegal for a minor to engage in sex with anyone (even if it’s with another minor), unless the teen is married and having intercourse with his or her spouse. ”
Does the law allow teenage marriage? I thought 18 was the leagal age to get married with or without parental consent.
Hi Janet,
In most states in the U.S., teens can get married WITH parental and/or judicial/court consent before turning 18. (See Marriageable Age) Some states allow teen marriage without parental consent IF there is a teen pregnancy – which is why some teens consider getting pregnant on purpose just to be able to get out from under their parents thumb. Sad, but true.
Once reaching the age of 18 (19 in Nebraska), people can marry without getting parent consent. If you check that Marriageable Age link, you’ll find a full list of states and countries listing the ages someone can/has to be in order to get married, including other countries other than the United States. I’ve edited the post to include a couple of these type links, since I do get quite a bit of web traffic from many other countries, for clarification purposes.
I’ve seen numerous forums and message boards where teens as young as 14 are asking if they would be allowed to get married in their state because they’re pregnant and are afraid to tell their parents. Other teens have asked if they can move out of the house at the age of 15 or 16 to get married, because their mother and/or father are disciplining them for teen rebellion type situations and the teenager wants a quick way out. Ha.
In Texas, I know that the “move out of the house age” is 17 – where the police won’t haul their butts back home. Otherwise teens who “move out” or actually runaway from home can be brought back to the parents or guardians numerous times by reporting their teen as a runaway.
Wow! That is quite some information. And just think about kids getting pregnant just to escape the clutches of their parents :O
I wonder what happens to filial ties at all!!!
A great article for a serious matter.
The best thing was what you said:
“Part of being an adult is having the backbone or assertiveness to stand up for yourself and say NO”
Couldn’t be closer than this to the truth.
I’ve written a similar article about Controlling parents and I completely agree with you that at some point of his/her life a person needs to wave bye bye to the oppression caused by parents, so that they don’t end up getting pregnant (or finding much worse ways) to avoid the problem.
Hi I’m 17, and my dad died when i was 14 and so my mom gets social security checks. So would i get the social security checks, if i become emancipated?
I highly doubt it. SS checks typically go to the surviving spouse.
Im 16 and my father died about a year ago. i get a social security check each month but its in my mothers control because ima minor. if my parents were never married, then would i get the SS checks?
I need some help.I understand all of the information that you have typed but I don’t understand how I’m suppose to come up with that kind of money or even how to tell my parents.However,I’ll be 18 in 7 months but I just don’t think I can handle living with my mom and step dad any longer.My email is [removed] I would really appreciate it if you would contact me a.s.a.p.
Thanks.
Tiffany,
You would come up with that kind of money by fulfilling the requirements to become emancipated by holding down a job that would pay you a salary for the work you do. There are no shortcuts or legal loopholes for teens to get emancipated. The laws and rules apply to every teen the same way. You’re going to turn 18 in seven months – you’re much better off just holding out for these remaining months and when you turn 18, you can then decide to move out legally.
ive been staying wit my boytfriend for two months almost because my mom put me out and i let my boyfriend’s mom file my son on her taxes so i could use the money towards a car and ater i mopved out the house my mom told me she really didnt want anything to do wit me. i am sixteen years old and i have a year old son i also have a job and so does my boytfriend. well my mom wants me to move back home because i didnt let her file my son on her taxes and just wanted to know do i have to move back home and do you think i would have a chance of getting emancipated from her. ive also told my father and he’s okay with me staying with my boyfriend because he knows im not happy at home and i also need to know if his consent even matter in tis whole situation.
Jequisha, not only do you need to have a job to get emancipated from your parents, but the job has to be one where you make enough money to provide for yourself and all your needs + your child. I highly recommend that you have a consultation with a family attorney to ask your questions in relation to the state you live in. Each state has its own laws, so you want to know your legal rights about living with your boyfriend or if you’re legally required to live with your mother/father until you are of legal age or emancipated.
Just a question , I want to be emancipated but what if i am already pregnant i am 17 and i live in texas i filed a abuse report because of an incident with my parents… my dad knows i wont come back infact he told me he doesnt want me to live in the house… how do i get the legal papers and how do i even get started on finding who to call?
Zoe,
Look for a Texas family law attorney that deals with emancipation and go in for a consultation visit to find out about the fees and process of becoming emancipated. The attorney would have the necessary papers to file to become emancipated, if you qualify and can prove to the court judge all of the requirements will be met. Remember, you will automatically be emancipated when you turn 18 in most states. That may help you decide if you should go ahead with the emancipation process or wait a few months till your 18th birthday, and save the money you’d be spending on other things – like the baby.
ok, so im 16 years old. i live with my mom, dad and older brother. My mom and dad are both alcoholics. my dad drinks over a 24 pack and my mom is a heavy liquor drinker. they argue all the time. Then when i go in there to stop the arguing and tell them to stop my dad will start screaming at me telling me that i need to shut up and cursing towards me. This has happended since as far as i can remember. My dad has beat my mom and their have also been times when my dad and brother have faught and the cops were called. It’s so hard on me. I am in the 11th grade and trying so hard to finish high school and procede to college but its so hard when i come home and my dad is already drinking then my mother comes home and she does too. its just to much. i come home and i am so worried that they are going to end up fighting. their are holes in the walls from where he gets mad and punches it and my mom is the one who starts the arguing. i used to worry so much about them but now i just try to stay in my room. I have been diagnosed with anxiety and take medication for it. I also went to see a phyciatrist about it and my dad went with me. while i was filling out the paper work i came across a question asking if any of my parents drink….my dad grabbed the paper and marked no. not only that but he also came back in the room with me and told the phyciatrist that i just worry myself that everything at home is fine….i just want to get out of this situation. I feel like im helpless and have nowhere to go. i want to get emanciapted but i dont want to take this risk if it wont work…if i do that then i will probably just end up getting cussed out and yelled at ad start more arguin in the house. please help.
Alisha,
I can understand why you would want to get emancipated from your parents. I’m not a lawyer, so that is why it is very important for teens wanting to get emancipated to find a family law attorney in their area/their state and have a consultation visit with their prospective lawyer and ask the questions that you have. Each state is different in how emancipation is or isn’t granted. There are no short cuts to any of this, and a judge won’t grant emancipation for teens who aren’t able to fulfill the requirements.
Look, I’m 16. Going to be 17 next month. I live in texas. I have a job with good befits. I live with my mom and step dad. I have 4 other bothers and sisters living at home with me. On top of that my mom also took in my older cousin and my other cousin in middle school because she feels that they need to “be deciplined.” My mom owns 3 companies. She has so much stress and anger that she lashes out on EVERYBODY. Hate to say it, but I get most of it. She makes it very clear and will go out of her way to let me know that what I’m doing isn’t good enough. She thinks I am thee worst teenager in the world. When honestly, I’m not even a fraction of how bad other kids are my age. But she dosent get that. She is always trying to make me quit my job. I have been told by everybody and I know that I have way more responsiblites than I should have. Like literally being a mom. My mom has twins. A boy and a girl. Their 1 almost 2. I get up, get myself ready for whatever like school, and then I get them ready. (Shower, dippers, clothes, hair, teeth, socks n shoes, sweater, bottles, then pack them up in the car.) She complains that I make her late when she is the last one out the
Out of the car. Well maybe if she took care of her own kids or helped me, she wouldn’t be late. She slways complains that were tight on money, but she has a whole closet of gucci shoes and purses. With channel, prada, etc. But gucci is her fav. I don’t know what to do. She always plays the victum in EVERY argument we have. I would have a place to stay if I moved out. I would be supported, have a job and save money to go to college. I would be fine and much better by myself. But that woman in literally impossible! She tells me to move out when ever I want and then she gets all mad and says I can only move out with my dad. She’s a nut. Goes back on a lot of her words too. I work all weekend, go to school all week. I never do anything a normal teen would. Like go to the movies or homecoming. Cause she won’t let me. After school and work, I take care of the twins. I need help…sorry I wrote so much. But you said in texas a teen. Could move out on their own at 17 and there will be no problems. I just want to make sure. My mom thinks I couldn’t survive on my own. I could, I’m not stupid, and I would be just fine without any contact with her in my life. I need advise and help!! Please e-mail me all the information you know or have!!
Hi Lauren,
Based on what you’ve said (and the obvious angry tone of your message), it does seem as though you have too much responsibility being placed on you. I’m not a lawyer Lauren, and I’m not going to pretend to be one. This article lays out all the details of how or if a teen like yourself can legally move out of the house or get emancipated. For your specific situation, I would first recommend that you talk with the school counselor about the stress you’ve been under and why. The counselor can then help arrange some sessions with your mom/parents included to try to work out a workable solution that you all can be satisfied with. Other than that, I would say to speak to a family attorney that specializes in emancipation to get all the answers to what is legal for you in Texas. I would strongly recommend working on the communication between you and your mom first and foremost. Emancipation and/or living on your own is a very serious matter and you don’t want to jump to such a serious decision without knowing everything.
I have a 14 yo grandaughter that wants us to take care of her instead of her parents. We agree with her and would like to see her free of her parents. She is aware that there are still rules to follow and she would not be able to just do as she pleases.
What are our options?
Tom,
From your message I can’t tell if you’re looking to get full custody of your granddaughter or not. If you are wanting to get legal custody of her, I would recommend speaking/consulting with a family attorney in your local area. It doesn’t sound as though what you’re asking about is emancipation for your granddaughter, but just where she would live with you and her grandmother until she becomes an adult. Either way, you would be wise to consult with a lawyer with your questions to find out the specific rules and laws about this. I would think that if her parents were agreeable to the change, everything could be handled rather smoothly. I’m not an attorney, so I can’t advise you on the laws regarding this.
I think that’s probably our best approach. Thanks for the input!
Tom
i live with over controlling parents and whats worse is my mom is sadly getting worse due to her poor health, and seeing her in this state really is very sad
:(:( but she never listens to me to what is imporyant to me, and since her and my stepdad aren’t married anymore she thinks he has a say so in my life im 42 yrs old and i feel like they are keeping me here against my will , ive tried everything to find the right answers to my situation and i still come up with nothing, i want a good lawyer to help me legally but at a good price i can afford because also it’s like they keep me dependant money wise on them and i cry literly 4 some help to say hey, enough is enough, ive tried talking to you mom but you shut my words out and i have to do somthing , ive disowned them in my heart and now i want to leave, without fear of being threatened and made to feel like this is my fault. anyone know a very good lawyer that i can talk to? plz help. thank you.
I’ve just turned sixteen, and my parents have told me that we will be moving in june to a different state. I would like to stay here to persue my education, I have always been an above average student and find it in my best educational interest to stay here. I currently don’t have a job or my license but in a month I will be able to have both. I want to be emancipated if they do plan on moving. I was wondering if you thought that there is any way that a judge would be willing to emancipate me?
Bethany, having a job would help you of course. But, keep in mind that you’d have to prove all of the stipulations, rules and laws within your state for a judge to consider allowing you to be emancipated from your parents. There are no shortcuts, no promises to do better or promises to do x,y,z. Everything has to be in place and has to be provable to the judge. Everything listed above is required to be considered for emancipation, including the letters from various people stating you are responsible and would be able to provide 100% for yourself.
Ok well i don’t want to get divorced from my parents. I know i prefer my independence but i’m only a thirteen year old child. My friend Alondra wants to get divorced from her parents and i got worried because she (as most people around my age) doesn’t know what she is doing. She lives in a trailor park and has a mom that is never proud of her and her parents are always arguing and they dont want her seeing her boyfriend. That’s not something the judge would really listen to and she needs to calm down. I have many problems at home but i try to be the mature one (not the adult since there are some children more mature than adults sadly) and not let it get to me. Yes it has affected my grades at school and sometimes even my personal beliefs..my parents drink alot..yet she acts like she is the only child with problems. How do I change her mind? She is quite stubborn so I need a little help here. Should i just sit back and watch? I don’t want her making a huge mistake. She is a very smart girl who has alot to offer the world.
Kekora,
You are very good friend to want to help Alondra understand that divorcing parents isn’t nearly as easy as teens typically think it is. It’s verrrrry verrrrry hard, if not near impossible, to convince a judge to approve emancipation. I assume she’s about your age, 13 or 14. As I said in the article, getting emancipated from parents isn’t about teenagers who don’t like house rules or their living environment or have disagreements with parents etc. Teenagers always…..have complaints of one kind or another about their parents. Always. Teenagers are going through typical desires of wanting some independence but they far too often try to jump waaaay ahead of themselves and want to have NO rules, NO discipline, NO nothing from their parents. They want to do what they want, went they want, how they want etc. Life doesn’t work that way and no judge is going to take seriously a teen who complains about their parents and how they deserve to be emancipated so they don’t have to deal with their parents rules etc.
Just based on the things you’ve said about your friend, she kinda sounds like the type of teenager who a judge would say is a rebellious teenager with a bad attitude in need of an attitude adjustment. Her having a “mom that is never proud of her and her parents are always arguing and don’t want her to see her boyfriend” etc etc is a teenage temper tantrum. Perhaps her parents argue all the time. It affects her, makes her feel bad/sad etc. There is family counseling for that, even within schools with school counselors. I can’t help but think that the biggest issue, the primary reason why she wants emancipation, is because of the boyfriend. The parents don’t approve of him or don’t feel she’s old enough to date etc. They are the parents and have every right to tell their daughter no to dating at her age if they so choose. She doesn’t have to like it or agree, but that’s why they are the parents and she’s not. Just think what family life would be like if every teenager were suddenly the parents and the parents were the children. Total chaos at home. I wouldn’t be surprised if Alondra had the attitude that she’s gonna see her boyfriend no matter what and “my parents can’t do anything about it” and similar rebellious type attitudes and behaviors. Her being “stubborn” as you said says a lot. She is being rebellious towards her parents, and a family judge would be much more likely to put her into a rebellious teenager boot camp before even considering listening to her talk about wanting to be emancipated.
There are NO shortcuts to becoming emancipated/divorced from parents. Considering all the rules and stipulations required to even be considered in family court, I highly doubt your friend would be able to prove she can financially provide for herself 100% at her age. Basically Kekora, your friend needs an attitude adjustment and maybe even some counseling with or without the parents involved.
Hi, my name is Khyal, and im 16. My mom died when I was 12 and I’ve bin under my grandmahs care since then. But she died and my dad, who has never bin there for me in my entire life, all of a sudden wants to get custody of me. He says he’s hade custody of me ever since my mom died but if thats so then why did he still have to pay child support? So just a few days ago he took me from my home that I’ve lived at my whole life but I didnt want to go. So basically he forced me to go. Thats kinda like kiddnapping, isnt it? So if I was to become an emancipated minor all I would really have to do is provide for myself and thats it? And parents cant keep you from getting papers for that, can they?
Khyal,
I think you should read the article again to fully understand the rules about becoming emancipated. Your dad taking you to his home to live after your grandmother died is not kidnapping, even if you didn’t want to go. You’re still considered a minor until you turn 18, so you living with your dad now is no surprise. Think long and hard about what it means to provide for yourself before thinking “provide for myself and that’s it” as far as emancipation. Read the article again, slowly this time. You have to have parent consent to be emancipated, and the parent(s) have to be informed with the court date etc.
A few weeks ago, I had a couple of friends over with my mom’s permission and my dad came home and started cussing me out and and yelling at me then he choked me, slammed me to the ground and told me that he’d kill me. My mom said he was just overreacting and he didn’t mean it…. But I don’t trust him and I’m scared to live at home. I’m only 15 but I’ll be 16 in august. Should I file a case and somehow move in with my grandparents? I mean, I love my mom, but I don’t think I can live there anymore. I hate that we always pretend nothing ever happened…. He thinks he can get away with it.
Victoria,
What your father did was wrong and it’s abuse. Is this the first and only time he’s acted this way towards you or is this typical of him? I can’t tell you to file an emancipation case, but I can see why you would want to move in with your grandparents. Have you had a heart to heart talk about this with your mom and how it makes you feel? She should not be minimizing what happened and she should absolutely be making sure it doesn’t happen again. Have you talked with a school counselor at all about what goes on at home and how you feel? Having some private sessions with a school counselor to discuss the problems, then perhaps bringing your mom (and dad?) into some sessions could… help. Consider your options, talk to your counselor, talk to your mom/dad and if you feel it’s necessary have a conversation with your grandparents about it and see what they say.
It isn’t the first time it’s happened and my mother and I have disscussed it and she talks to him and tells me that it won’t happen again and he’ll ‘change’ but he never does…., if I moved in with my grandparents I’d feel like a huge burden though, but I feel like it’s my only option.
Victoria,
I’m going to pass on to you one of my articles on this site, and it’s important that you (and your mom) understand that it is one of the most popular and sought after articles thus far. It is about abusive men. What you described me in your initial message is child abuse, and it must stop. Please take a moment and read my article about angry, controlling, abusive men and I just BET that you and your mom will recognize a few things and that it will hit pretty close to home. Abusive men/fathers don’t change. It only gets worse. If this is what you’re going through with your father, then please….. talk to your school counselor about what is going on at home. Your mom wants to believe what every other abused woman wants to believe – that they’re abuser will change. They don’t. Please understand that I’m not saying, suggesting or implying that your mom is an abused wife, because I have no idea what happens in your home other than what you’ve said. Please read the article and see if it doesn’t hit real close to home.
I am 15 but i will be 16 in May. My mom is my only parent but shes verbaly abuse.There are still times where she hits me or brakes my stuff . We never get along for more then a few minutes.Lately the fights have been getting worse and worse and it’s starting to get to me.There are many people who know the situation between us and everyone says it’s not healthy for me to be with her. what are my chances of divorcing my mom.
Hi Laura,
I’m sorry you and your mom haven’t been getting along. For the courts to allow you to divorce your mother, you have to prove to the judge everything listed in this article. There are no shortcuts to emancipation. You’ve explained to some degree your “emotional” reasons why you want to be emancipated, but the judge isn’t going to be willing to grant emancipation based on that. Everything listed in this article explains what is required to divorce parents, and if you are able to fulfill ALL of the legal requirements listed in the article, the judge MAY grant you emancipation. Even if you are able to prove your case before the court judge, the judge has the right to deny your request for emancipation for his or her own reasons. Re-read the article again and really pay close attention to every stipulation and requirement necessary to divorce parents, and see if you really think you are able to prove all of it.
Hi I’m Rose and I am 16. I am adopted but I was adopted at 6 weeks old. Though I was so young when I was adopted, its still hard to be adopted. Many people believe it makes a difference but in all honesty, it truly doesn’t. For as long as I can remember I have been continuously been kicked down emotionally by my adopted brother, mother, and father. My so-called “brother” has always called me fat, lazy, stupid, b***h, ugly, basically very verbally abusive. He also has put his hands on me b4 and he’s 9 years older then me 6’5 and like 210 pounds. Funny thing about him is that he recently got married to a woman that already had a child. He beats her (though she is just as crazy as he is) and he also beats on the son thats not biologically his. But he NEVER puts his hands on his biological children. Then to top it all off my so-called brother marries somebody that is verbally abusive against me and yet my parents buy her a car and take care of her kids. My in-law has stolen over $1000 worth of money and other things such as cellphones/mps players/clothes. My so-called parents knew this and yet their loyalty lies with them (brother&in-law). My so-called dad has his moments of being verbally abusive and in the past he’s hit me across my face with a closed fist, but what gets me is now much attention he gives to other kids (he’s teaches math/science to 7th/8th grade students). Example, he takes trips out of the country to teach/help out those in poverty in other countries and he plans these trips with other people and he always brings others kids along. In addition, for my whole life he has always given me 1-syllable responses, but when he is around other children he’s this person I never seen before-he’s outgoing, talks a lot, and funny. Now my so called mother, she can stand here today and tell everybody that she knows and been knew that this stuff was happening BUT she’s the type of person that believes she is never wrong. She understand what my BROTHER and FATHER have done and that they are wrong BUT she doesn’t want to accept everything that she has done. For as long as I can remember I’ve always begged her to let me live somewhere else, I’ve begged her to help me but she never truly cared. I’ve always came to her respectfully or in tears trying to have a heart to heart but she would always blow me off and tell me that “she doesn’t have time for this”. Nobody has ever been there for me. I had to figure everything out on my own. I got pregnant, I got an abortion. I have little-no self confidence in myself or anything. Now I’m 16, gained a lot of weight, I’m diagnosed with depression, I only sleep for 2-4 hours a day, my stress levels are high. I can’t seem to ever be at peace, death has always seemed like the best option but whats keeping me here is my best friend. She is adopted as well but her and her mother have the best relationship ever. What makes everything so bad is that my mother is an elected official. Our family is recognized around the city and it get harder and harder to “suck it up” and put on fake smile. I finished all my high school credits by age 15 and ever since then I have been taking college courses. I use to have a 4.0 gpa but its going down. I find myself breaking out in tears in the middle of class and other activities. I just can’t focus and I’m literally alone. I have no cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents. Nothing. What should I do?
Rose, there are no easy answers to your situation. I understand you feel you’ve had a very hard time with your family, adopted or otherwise. You’ve been getting fabulous grades in school until recently as you’ve said. Good for you!
Obviously you’ve been under a great deal of stress and I’m glad you’re enjoying a good relationship with your friend. You haven’t said that you’re seeking emancipation specifically, but seem to want a much improved relationship with your family.
It would be in your best interests to speak to your school counselor immediately about your situation, feelings and thoughts. Like, first thing tomorrow morning, have a private, personal meeting with your school counselor about your home life. The counselor would be in a much better position than I am to help direct and guide you about your situation. Please speak to your counselor immediately.
Theres a lot more stuff I don’t really want to get graphic/into depth with; in addition theres not enough time/room for me to even lay everything out. I’ve spoken here and there to counselors but it has always been the same and basically what they tell me is how the problems will never stop and the only thing they can do is help me “deal with it”. But my family is too intoxicating and I just can’t stand to be around them at all. In addition to my mom being an elected official its very hard to come across somebody to honestly help me and not always think of my mom. I always heard from *counselors* “oh she seems like such a nice lady” this and “oh she can’t be all that bad” that. Then I’ve had plenty of people sit down with me for a session and not really give any feedback but then as soon as the session ends, they ask for favors or something. They just become very unprofessional. Then I’ve come across really good ones but I can’t afford because I’m paying for school on my own. My parents don’t pay for my schooling but they pay my 30 year old-married-brother’s car notes (plural because he has 3 new cars) $1400 a month apartment as well as paying for his 3 children to go to private schools and other necessities. I can’t get any aid for school because my parents “make to much money” according to them. I can’t get a link card or other forms of aid. SO I’m pretty much taking care of myself as it is. She’s in the process of running for something else and I don’t want to ruin anything I just want to leave them be and go and live my life. But I DO want emancipation. I’ve used a lot of my energy towards kids in similar situations. I use to work in day cars/after schools/ summer programs and I’ve come across many children that identifies with me. So now I just watch over 10+ children. Its mainly like an after school/hang out spot for those kids. I became dcfs licensed and everything and I make money that I know people my age haven’t even seen. Money is definitely not a problem for I do have 3 families that I am a permanent nanny for. We (myself and the parents) signed an agreement and everything and they basically agree to keep me employed until the kids are in high school (which is very far away) and if something should happen they agreed to pay me for what I would’ve made if I stayed with them. But those kids ( I think of them as my little brothers/sisters) lean on my a lot and I want to be right for them as well as myself.
What if you want to be emancipated from your parents to keep your sanity. Also, the consentual age in alabama is 16 so would that stiil apply in this situation?
My parents refuse to let me be on birth control. It doesn’t seem like a big deal to some people but I think I should get some say in what goes on with my body. I am not sexually active but have seen other girls make bad choices and end up pregnant. I’ve been my parents trouble child but have been getting help and doing a million times better. Me and my parents have been butting heads for years and I think it’s time to give it up. I’m 16 and am graduating a year early so I only have a year left at home. But even then I’m technically under there authority when I graduate and move out. What are the chances that if I can support myself that I can be emancipated?
My parents have not been doing thie jobs as parents. My aunt, my mother’s sister, has been taking care of me since i was born. There we’re a few times where my aunt has had to take care of me, my mother and my 2 older brothers. My mother is a very controlling parent and i believe her holding my brothers back is what led to one in prison and the other in an early grave. She didn’t want me when she found out she was pregnant with me and the only reason she puts up with me now is because she looks for to take care of her and my father i have only known for 3 years, i’m 15 now. i s there a way for my aunt to gain full legal custody of me from my parents?
Gabi, the specific rules and conditions of teenage emancipation have been laid out in the article. You must be able to prove to the family court judge that you meet all the criteria (not just some) and then it is entirely up to the judge to decide if you qualify for emancipation from your parents. Find a family law attorney in your local area and have a consultation with him or her about your wanting to become emancipated and she what he/she tells you.
Well i am 16 years old and i have a baby, i live with my grandmother, because my mother is in prison and i dont stay with my father becaus ehe kicked me out and chose his wife over me… i want to get emancipated because i cant deal with my grandmother cause she doesnt take are of me and all her and my father want is to take the money that im getting for my baby. thats why they went and tried to get custody of him. my baby is 9 months old. do you think that they can take custody of him if i dont want them too. and can i get emancipated?? i work at mcdonalds, i can get income from the government, i have legal reasons to be emancipated, and i have the money to get emancipated.. but the only thing thats left is my place to stay when i leave.. i can go and stay with my cousins thats a little older than me, do you think that the judge will let me stay with them?
Champagne,
As I said to the commenter above you, you are much better off having a consultation appointment with a family law attorney in your local area. The requirements and rules of being emancipated by a family court judge are clearly laid out in the article above – and the judge will require proof that you are already able to provide for yourself (and your child of course since you have a child you are responsible for) in every way. Living with a cousin or other family member does not prove to the judge that you are capable of affording taking care of all your needs including a place to live, food, utilities, insurance, etc etc etc. Having a job is of course a start, but to qualify for minor emancipation, that job has to cover all your needs and there has to be proof of it. Please consult with an attorney in your area for answers to specific questions regarding your case.
I am 15. I have been living with my dad for 14 yrs until he had recently kicked me out. I have not known my mom all through out my child hood. I “re-met” my mother in March when my dad kicked me out. My dads side of the family wants nothing to do with me. My mom is medically unable to take me in, she is a survivor of 2 brain anuarisms. She has very high blood pressure and is not really capable of taking care of me. Her side of the family can finacially take me in. I want to get divorced from my parents or emancipated, but I don’t know if its the right thing to do. I really don’t think I have another choice. Even if I was, how would I do it?
When I graduate high school I’m going to be sixteen then a dew weeks later I’ll turn seventeen. I want to live with my aunt in in Virginia. Or my granparents in Massachusetts (where I’m from) and since my dad died when I was three my mother gets social security checks for both my younger sister and I. If I do move in with them would the money be transferred over mto either of them. I know it’s slightly off topic but I was considering emancipation as well and after reading all of those comments I know to find an attorney. Thanks for any help you can offer!
Hi Samantha,
After checking around online a bit, it appears as though opinions are mixed. Some say that emancipated teens receiving social security money defeats the purpose of emancipation since teens wanting to be emancipated have to PROVE they can do everything to support themselves on their own, with no help from anyone else.
One opinion on whether emancipated teens can receive social security money to help live on says: “Social Security laws would determine the allocation of benefits. Some possible options are, 1) the emancipated minor would receive the benefits directly, 2) a payee representative would be appointed for the named person or, 3) benefit payments would no longer be applicable due to the minor having gained legal adult status.”
The Social Security Administration should be your next phone call to get a direct, specific answer to your specific question. There should be no room for doubt. In the meantime, here is a not-so helpful response to a teen with questions about emancipation and social security benefits:
Call the Social Security Administration Office for answers to your specific questions/situation.
Just to clarify I was referring to gaining a different legal guardian at the age of seventeen and the social security money being taken away from my mother and being given to my aunt and uncle in a different state. I read that whole article and it was very helpful in many ways and I would be sure to call them when I have the chance. thanks again!
I am looking to emancipated because I need to move to South Korea due to my occupation. I am a professional Actor/Singer and I have a pending contract with a Korean entertainemt agency that will be final only if I can move to Korea. My relationship with my parents is very strong and I love them dearly but we both agree emancipation is in my best interest and essential to my career. I meet the requirements of emancipation in my state and I have more than enough to support myself. Because emancipation is the right to be legally inedependant and responsible for yourself, will this be the same if I move to South Korea where the legal age of independance is 20. Even though the age of independance is different does it matter since I won’t be the legal age here either but I am still seen as legally independant? I have most of the information I need except this. It would be much appreciated if you could be of some help to me.
Nickhun,
Please contact a lawyer to ask your specific questions. I have no idea what the emancipation laws are like in South Korea vs the U.S.
I have a child, but the child is NOT my legal husband’s child. I need to get a divorce, but I dont have the means to do so because of a very limited income. He was abusive in more ways than one, not only towards me, but his mother whom lived with us, as well. I am in Ohio, he is in Texas. How do I go about doing all the things required to do at little or no cost? He said he will refuse to pay for the divorce, but cant he be forced? At a loss, in fear, and completely confused
Hi Donna,
Your questions are not about emancipation specifically, but you are wanting a divorce from your husband whereas this article is about teenage emancipation/divorce from parents. To get a divorce from your husband, at little or no cost, may be possible if you can find a pro bono lawyer or volunteer divorce attorney. There are many of these lawyers in each state, so you just have to find local options for these divorce attorneys in your area.
Im sorry bout that. I didnt realize I was writing what I was writing (I do black out sometimes and do, say or write things and not remember. That is why my fiance lives with me) . But To the topic of the article: My adoptive parents have always been abusive towards me, in every way possible. Even though they didnt actually sexually abuse me themselves, they did however refuse to protect me from a certain preditor, calling me every name in the book and then some. I have a daughter of my own now, and realize that unless I make it legal for them to not have access to her by divorcing them, that she will be placed with them in the unfortunate event of my fiance’s and my death. I do know some legalities, but need more in depth advice. As you probably realize, I am an adult. I only want to protect my daughter from the abuse I have recieved. One other thing: If I were to legally divorce my parents, and since I do know my biological family and have a wonderful relationship with them, can I take my orrigional birth name back as they were forced to give me to the adopting parents? Can I have my birth cirtificate legally redone as to who my actual birth parents are? I am at a loss, stressed out, have already had one heart attack due to the nonsense, and I am only 31 years old. Please, please give me some input as to what I can do, and how to do it.
One more thing: my daughter is biracial. The only thing they can come up with as to what to call her is the “n word”. They have tried to control everything about my entire life, including what age I was permitted to dress and bathe myself which was age 12. They prevented me from doing my own homework as they wanted to get me out of their hair so they can have their own fun. They forced me to start drinking at the age of 8, and as a result I was a raging alcoholic by middle school age. I have tried telling my school counsouler, and all she could come up with is “youre parents are very convincing, would not only sue us, but whats worse, make it that much harder for you.” I have mental, emotional and physical scars from the abuse, including the public humiliation of them saying in the middle of walmart to a family member as loudly as she could that I had not only had mental development handicaps beyond belief, along with being unable to learn, but that I will never amount to anything, wish she had left me where I was to begin with since i am such a burden and hassle. she has called cps once already stating that i was mentally retarded, and violent. none of this is true, even when i black out because i make my fiance tell me everything that i did when i get consiousness back again. So please tell me what I can do, to prevent the same abuse to my daughter in the untimely and unfortuate event that my fiance and i both die while she is a minor child
Donna,
The questions you have about divorcing parents should really be asked to a family law attorney, which I am not. People change their names every day, so I don’t see why you couldn’t legally change your name back to your birth name or whatever you want. The family law lawyer will be able to answer your question about changing your birth certificate as well, and all your options to protect your daughter. Sorry I couldn’t be of more help but I’m just telling you the honest truth.
Thank you for being honest. I have come across people before who intiminate lawyers and public service men and women. I have been a victim of this more than once. Again thank you for your honesty
Hello,
and i greatly appreciate any help in advance btw, thanks.
What options does an illegal immigrant minor have if he or she wants the same to me emancipated? To be out of their parents house, and away from their parents.
Is it possible to just run away? and nothing be able to happen?
What are their options besides, honestly, going back to where they came from?
We would move in together if she decided this.. she just doesnt know her options.
I want to divorce my parents but I do not want to be emancipated. I am 11 years old and my aunt has taken care of me for 10 years. My dad is in prison and my mom does drugs. My grandmother who is abusive keeps taking my aunt to court. I am made to visit and my grandmother leaves me where my mother lives with a lot of people. My grandmother and mom and dad wont leave me alone. I am always so worried and upset. I call my aunt Mom and I have a great life with her. I want to divorce my parents so I can live with my Mom (aunt) with out them messing up my life. How do I do that because I dont want to be emancipated
Okay so i have read this article thoroughly and just have a few qquestions. I am a 16 year old and have been verbally abused by my father on and off for the past few years. He will yell at my cursing and calling me awful names for hours then attempt to buy my affection. He is bipolar and drinks even though he is on probation. He will not allow me t have a job because he wants me to be totally dependent on him. Is there a way that i could be emancipated or “divorce” only him?
I have a couple questions. Support yourself financially. A judge will not grant your emancipation if you are unable to totally support yourself.
# Paying for your own food, clothing and shelter. Getting and paying for your own medical, dental, and automobile insurance.
# Pay all of your own bills. Your income must be from a legal source.
# You must go to school. Emancipation and education laws require minors stay in school, finish high school until they graduate or reach the age of 18.
# Child labor laws still apply, which means you can’t work as many hours as you may want.
Now what if I have a place to stay, and I am paying rent to an adult to live there. I would still be paying for food clothing and making rent which is shelter, I will be in school and going everyday, until I graduate and go to college. I already pay my own bills and support myself, now I need to divorce my parents. Am I eligible for emancipation?
Baileigh,
If you are able to provide proof to the judge that the stipulations/requirements are within your ability to do AND the judge believes it to be in your best interests to be emancipated from your parents, then you may have a good shot at it. However, keep in mind.. that even if you’re able to support yourself and do all the things listed all by yourself, it is still up to the judge whether or not to allow you to be divorced/emancipated from your parents. Remember, your parents have to agree to it as well and must be kept informed of all court dates etc. Please speak with a family law attorney for specifics in your state.
i want to divorce my parents. im 15 but ill be turning 16 in 7 months. would i need a parents persmission is order too get emancipated? i dont have a job right now but i am making money and i can support myself. i live with my dad. because i always fight with my mom and i cant stand her boyfriend. but on other hand my dad verbally abuses me and he drinks and does drugs. is there anyway that when i turn 16 that i can divorce my parents and be out on my own? im always stressed and hardly can do well in school because of the things going on at home.
Haley,
Yes, parental permission is necessary and parents must be kept informed regarding court dates and anything else involving the matter. You must hold down a job and prove to the judge that you are doing so already…. and are able to take care of yourself financially and in every way without the financial help of anyone else. Being emancipated is an enormous responsibility and all too often teens don’t fully appreciate or understand the enormity of the responsibilities they are asking for.
okay, thanks. because im trying too get everything ready right now in order too get this done with i turn 16. because i cant stand the way that im getting treated and the way that i live. because both of my parents treat me bad, and i get neglected aot. and i think that being out on my own will help me out a whole lot. when me and my dad would get into a fight he will mostly cuss me and tell me too get out.
I am 14 and living with friends my parents don’t own a home so Ive been living with my friend and his parents are representing me at the high school.
My parents have neglected me my hole life and i don’t want to live wit them if they try to make me live wit them again I’m getting a job but its only for a month and i don’t know what to do.
can you give me any advice
Hi Joshua,
I’m not sure why you mention that your parents “don’t own a home” specifically. I’m not sure what your point is there. If your parents rent an apartment or rent a house or live in a mobile home etc and it provides a roof over their/your head and they provide basic needs of food, clothing and shelter, that should speak for something. Since you’re not using punctuation like commas, it’s somewhat difficult to understand where your sentence breaks are, but I’m trying my best.
The rules and laws about divorcing parents by emancipation are very strict and cannot be skipped over. Teens cannot pick and choose which of the laws/rules they’re willing to abide by and which they aren’t. Having a job for a month won’t cut it with a family law judge. If you’re asking if you can get emancipated from your parents, it doesn’t sound to me like you’re fully prepared for that.
If you’re asking if you would be able to legally make changes in your living arrangements, where you are legally allowed to live with your friend’s parents, that would be something you would need to discuss thoroughly with a family law attorney in your area. What you may consider to be “neglect” on the part of your parents towards you, a judge may not. What constitutes true neglect or abuse (for teens trying to get emancipated from their parents because of abuse) is up to the judge to decide, perhaps with assistance from court appointed counselors etc.
Remember, teens wanting to become emancipated from their parents must have their parents approval, and parents must be kept informed of all court proceedings with proper notice given etc. What do your friend’s parents say about you staying with them? Are you and them discussing any plans to make it a permanent arrangement at all, or at least until you’re 18?
I’m sorry about the punctuation Ive never been in school and my parents never tot me. this is my frets year in school ever. I’m probably spelling a lot of this wrong.
I have like 5 injury’s that haven’t held right so I’m in pane all the time. my parents have never taken me to the hospital.
hello i am TY i wish to be devorced from my mother. i am 14 years old, but im not looking for an easy way out im looking for a better future for my self. My mother and her feonce have been fighting with the extended family latley. my mother took her fiances side and has banned me from seeing the res of my family. I am a B honeroll studen, and always have been. i think it would be for me to live with my grandmother who is a successfull foster parent. I have all the intention to graduate heigh school. my mothers just been controlling latley and has been giving me the im dissappointed speech. the things she says about my family dont sound like her. the fight between my mom and family has been mentaly abusing me i iv had suisidal thoughts. these thoughts have all been a way for me to just end the hate and fighting between my family. Iv never really tryed to carry them out and dont wish to. I will be 15 in april. my uncle rick has a successful bussiness in landscaping and snow removal that is called Carolson Extreior. i think i could work there with his consent. i could live with my grandmother and go to Columbia Heights heigh school. I am ready for all teh concequences i must go threw. how do i succesfully devorce my parents and live with my grandmotehr to help. this would be good for me in the future.
So i’m asking the same thing as everyone else on here. I’m 15, i live with my mom and stepdad. All my life i’ve moved from school to school, state to state and in the process got to watch my step dad verbally and physically abuse my mom, siblings, and myself. There were times that we went with out water and times we went without food. The place we live at now the ceilings leak, it has no insulation, no proper sewage, and we had to heat up water for up to 4 months approx. I’m getting sick of living under these conditions and have really been looking into emancipation. Its not that i cant stand my family, i just cant stand the way they live and personally its not good on my asthma. Do you think that under these circumstances i could get emancipated?
I’ve got 2 months till i’m 16 and i’m planning on waiting at least 5 months before i try my case.
Kaitlin, just like with everyone else here, speak to a family law attorney in your area for the specific laws and rules about emancipation. Every state has their own legal requirements, so your best bet is to find out what you could or couldn’t do about your situation from a lawyer who handles family law cases such as emancipation.
Ok, so I want to bring to light the negatives of this emancipation deal. I’m 30 years old, about to get married into an absolutely wonderful family. Unfortunately their father pasted away befor I met them 6 years ago. They were a military family and moved frequently till they got here to San Antonio. Since then their mother has taken on a civilian contractor job that will require her to spend the next month in Va, then to Iraq. Me and my fiancé are moving to florida in a month. Well their mom has expressed to me that she wants him to go with us, and to that I am more than willing. He however, does not want to go, and I don’t blame him. He has finally made friends, and is able to do many things here. I personally believe that he has aspergers syndrome and is incapable of caring for himself at this time. Well he walked in the other day and stated that he wants to be emancipated. Knowing that he no where near qualifies to be as such, we let him do the research, and ultimately changed his mind. But here’s my problem. He has always had the best of everything, a family that cares for him more than he will ever know. I, nOt even being blood relative felt very, very offended. I care much for him and his wellbeing, to the point he might as well be my little brother. I didn’t have the best childhood, nor the worst, but how dare he even make a suggestion like that. I would’ve given anything to have a family like theirs, and he wanted to piss it away because he didn’t want to go to Florida. My point is this, before you go and get the idea in your head about this, think it through. It may affect you and others in ways you didn’t intend. And folks who put up info about this almost never, ever talk about the effects to others when this is not warranted. I positive there are those out there that really can use this to their advantage, but don’t just throw it around like a toy. Im sure I will move past these feelings, but it is emotionally taxing. Thanks in advance to the author if they could put a little asterisk about the negatives.
I apologize, I got so wrapped up in trying to tell my situation that I forgot a few details. The brother in this is 16 years old, and the friends that he has, aren’t necessarily horrible influences, but they definatly aren’t the best. And one other thing. I am also a product of military parents. Millions of children of military families move all over the world. We grew up just fine, we adapted, and moved on. It’s a part of life for some of us, and the majority, grew up not despising our family, but embracing the different experiences and cultures from around the world. I feel it led me to be smarter, more understanding, more aware, and tolerant of situations around me. Thanks again.
I am a 15 yr old teen who was adopted at 9 hrs old but have never felt like a part of my adopted family. Before the adoption I lived in foster care with my Aunt for 5 yrs. At the time she thought that I would be better off with a ‘Family’, mom and dad but we always thought that if it didn’t work out I could come back to her. Now 5 yrs later I am in a childrens home, I went there voluntarily cause I felt I had no other choice and could no longer take living with my adopted parents. My Aunt wants me with her and I want to be with her as well, but my adopted parents say they won’t allow me to go back to her. My aunt is very responsible and she can prove she has a safe and loving environment for me and has asked my parents if they can give me permission to live with her and has even told them she would adopt me if they wanted to be rid of any responsibility, etc. Is there anyway I can divorce them and have my aunt adopt or be my guardian. I feel that this is in my best interest and will help me develop into the person I aspire to be, successful and happy.
Shelly, for information about living with your aunt vs your adopted family, it would be best to consult with a family law attorney in your local area. Perhaps your aunt could assist you in finding an attorney and maybe she could help in talking with the lawyer and asking all the questions.
Correction, I was adopted when I was 9 years old.
Hi my name is shanna, i am 16 and im wanting to get a divorce from my parents they have fought since i was really little and they still fight and they take it out on me by screaming but on top of it all i lost my oldest sister she passed away about a year and half ago so that just adds more to my stress i got to where i cant sleep at night since she past and i cant stand in being in the house where she passed away in i cant handle all of this anymore. Is this enough to get divorced?
O and i am 16 years old
Hi, my name is Ariana. I am 15 and I want to divorce my parents. My parents for as long as i can remember have been yelling and cursing and really couldn’t care less what happens to me. My dad who I stop talking to over year ago because of some incident that happened over vacation, is an alcoholic and hasn’t done anything in his interest to help himself and in the past year he has gotten into about 3 car accidents and now we are dead broke. (yes i still live with him even though I don’t talk to him)[no my parents are not divorced] when i was little he used to grab the back of my neck and it hurt.. A lot. My mother even though she is not an addict to anything, she wont divorce her spouse even though i know she hates him, but she still tries to help him. My dad can’t touch me now because he knows I won’t respond, but i can’t live here any more. By the end of this month i am hoping to have a job and possibly be living with another family (i will be paying rent). I have an older sister who lives in new york and says that shes all for me going with the divorce. I can’t stand be at home, with all the screaming and yelling and my younger bro has hit rock bottom in terms of his life. and with all the lying, i can’t take it any more. Another reason i want to divorce them is because, the alcoholic, neglecting, verbal abusing man my dad is he has a high paying job so we get a pretty high income. My only choices for my future is either the airforce (if they accept me) or college. My family is dead broke so even though i’ll have a job, if I stay at home i won’t be able to qualify for financial-aid and if i decide to go to college and i stay home i don’t have the funding to go. Do you think that all of this together will be enough to divorce my parents? I’ve already sort of talk to my mom about it but every time i bring it up she tells me to be quite and starts yelling at me, and well as for my dad, i haven’t spoken to him about it since it been a year since i talk to him, and i’m not going to start unless i know I can divorce him and get him out of my life for good.
Hey,
ok so i want to divorce my parents but before i do i gave my mom two options either i get the emancipation or i go live with my grandma, what do i do if she denies both options? i cant live with my parents anymore, they dont understand and they control my life way too much and i’m tired of them controling who i am. i’m never gonna be who or what they want. and it’s becoming too much i need a way out. please respond? </3
um hi,
i am 13 currently but will be turning 14 in september. my mom is verbably abusive towards me and from time to time she physically abuses me. my father died last year in august. i would really like to get away from my mother because she doesnt let me do anything i mean the only social time i get is in school. THAT”S IT!!!!! i don’t think it’s right i’m always babysitting my 2 year old sister and her fiance is a major alcoholic. i have an aunt that would be more than happy to take me in and be my gaurdian i have been thinking about divorcing my mom for a very long time. from the age 2-10 she was never there for me she would come to my school assemblies drunk and then she got pregnant and had a baby when i was 11. ever since than i havent been able to be with any of my friends. she deny’s DCF and she honestly puts me last with EVERYTHING! my sister comes first i understand that she 2 thats understanable but to put my after her fiance is terrible. she abuses me verbabli by saying that she wishes she never had me, or that i ruined her whole life, and that im a horrible daughter, or that she cant wait to get rid of me. she calls me names and makes fun of me alot. she really affects my gardes she doesn’t really let me do my homework i even come after the animals. i usually dont get to go to bed until 3 am every night withoutdoing my homework. she says she loves me and that shes sorry for hitting me but when i look in her eyes it doesnt seem sincere. and if she doesnt apologize to me she buys me things to buy my forgiveness. she never buys me clothes when i need them only if she decides to. or school suppilies if i need them only if she wants to. over summer i couldnt do anything but babysit my sister while she went out and had all the fun.
i would like to know if my aunt can adopt me and get full custody ? and if i do get her to adopt me will DCF be involed because my mom denies anything they say that she does to me that i tell them? and um im woried about my sister if my aunt adopts me and gets full custody will me mom hit her and abuse her to? can my aunt take custody of my sister to? i mean my mom already hits and abuses my sister alot. she take everything that can give me joy away from me it;snot right! i just want me and my sister to have a better life withour her because if i leave my sister more than likely she will go thruogh the same as me or worse so can my aunt take both of us? please contact me a.s.a.p.
with great concern,
atlantis
and one more thing what if my mom denies my aunts adoption does that mean that i will be stuck with her till im 18?
Shauna, Ariana, Sarah, Atlantis and others…
The article lays out the specific rules and requirements for becoming emancipated from parents. There are no loop holes – the requirements are what they are by law.
Whether or not your specific home situation would persuade a court judge to allow you to be emancipated for reasons you’ve expressed would require speculations and guesswork.
As I’ve said to numerous other teens asking the same type questions, after reading this article and the various things that must be in place before even being considered for emancipation, your best bet would be to consult with a family law attorney in your area for specific details of what chances you have of being emancipated from your parent(s).
Alo Lin.
I don’t want to do this. I have to… Since I was little I’ve been around serious alchoholics and drug users… The physical abuse has gone to verbal which has given me to depression and mental setbacks. I’m 17 turning 18 in January 2012… I know it’s a very short time, but a day here feels like ten years of pain and agony. My 11 yr old brother has bonded with the father and I my mother. We’re cut in half as a family. The only reason I took my mother’s side is because I love her and I was hoping and helping her to see the h*ll that has been mine and her life. Although she has come around she will not divorce the thing that is ruiing what mental pieces I have left.
The father has told me to get out of the hosue countless times and has literally called me a liar and an assortmant of other fowl words because of his insanity. He has literally lost it this time and I fear the once physical lifestyle I knew will come back tenfold. I want out of this household this summer if I can. I don’t want to be ‘emancipated’ so to speak, but I want divorce and to live with relatives that I have been forced to push out of my life because of this family. My relatives were the only happiness I had and they were taken from me a year ago. My ‘father’ has taken everything away from me, turned my once loving brother into a mini version of himself who abuses his own mother.
I want my parents out of my life… I love my mother yes, but I can’t see her drink herself into oblivion anymore…I already have to have some mental help when I do get out of here to get my life back and forget the horrible things that have occured…
I homeschool because I cannot take the stress of school life anymore, especially since I was kicked out of an artschool because my depression interfered with my liking of art anymore…I had my once great passion of drawing taken away becasue of fatigue…
I only have one friend left because I like solitude compared to being out with friends… She wants to help but is in a similiar situation and somewhat refuses to help me because of her controlling mother… I’m all alone…no one will help me.
I can’t find a job and get money to pay for the lawyer or anythign because I can’t drive. The family cannot afford the automobile insurance…
My relatives would take me in, which would be shelter and I’m sure when I got there thigns would be better, I’d be happier and could start really supporting myself. I would definetly finish schooling and go to community college to become a Coding and Billing Specialist in the healthcare business.
I just don’t know what to do, I need direction, I need to get a hold of the real family that I can’t call anymore because they cahnged numbers and I don’t have their email… Can you tell me what I should do. Anything to push me along to start getting out of here. I won’t last here for another 1/2 yr. It is impossible and not just because of my mental state…
DCF has already been called to my house twice and I had to play it cool just so I wouldn’t get hurt. They ended up not getting the info they needed because I refused to get into it too far, afraid I’d get seriously hurt…
I know these parents would not let me go. Well, my mother wouldn’t let me go…the father I don’t really know anymore…I believe he is just after torturing me….
If I could get real live evidence that this is happening to me, can I bring it to a judge and be divorced from both parents without going through teh whole process…
So please. I’ve left out hundreds of details… I just don’t know what to do. I thought I could hold out, but things have gotten way worse than I anticipated… I need direction in this whole thing… I know this is really long but I just need the answers… What are my chances if I did go for parental divorce? Could my relatives get full custody if I had the correct evidence to show the court or somebody? What other options do I have to get out of this situation besides the things that have been mentioned? And if I did go through with this could I be put under my relatives roof while I went through teh process to avoid the verbal and or physical abuse? And are there lawyers that will represent my relatives if they sought custody of me for a low or free price because of low income? I just wanted to know these things and possibly get some clearer answers to my specific case… Sorry for any inconveniance this long letter may have caused…
if i were to do this, would i have to state my reasons out loud in front of a judge? or cud i just talk to the police? i want to separate myself from them, they obviously wont approve. they dont understand why i want to in the first place. if i wanted to separate myself from them would i have to say in court with both of them there that my mom has an affair? or my dad – sexually harrased my sister a while ago? cuz i dont want to say certain things in front of people? you know wat i mean? im only 15 turning 16 this november so no job. i want out. i’ve already emotionally separated myself. if i dont physically separate from them soon, imma die. legit. my parents dont know me, my dad who has never been a dad since of his work hours, now is unemployed. Now he tries putting the expectations/pressure on me? i cant. im done. cant deal with them. my mom says she moved to L.I for me. my education and because of me she has to pay all these taxes and thats why she cant divorce my dad yet. They both blame me for their problems. my sister who was physically abused, left our house at 17. I need my out now. if i left them, my mom can finally divorce him and live elsewhere with less taxes? my dad, idk he’ll manage? i dont care, i’ve broken away from them. i want out. I mentally can not grow with them in my lilfe. All there doing is giving me stress. i dont meet the terms because i cant support myself. what do i do?
This was extremely helpful. I am a teenager and want too “devorce” my parents. I wanted too know if I was eligable for this. If you were too email me it would be greatly apreciated so I could tell you my stances living in my parents house hold. I have a family gaurdian who agrees with me and would take me under if possible. Thank you.
Hi I’m only 13. And I cry myself to sleep because my dad married the meanest lady in the world
and I can’t be at his house anymore. My mom won’t sue for custody either and I want to know if
I can do anything about this. Somebody help, please
I’m a teen 16 years of age.my mom and dad are divorced and I live with my mom. I don’t like living with my mom I would rather live with my dad. My dad is very loving and caring anything I need I know I can depend on my dad. Whenever I’m in trouble or something’s wrong I can always tell my dad because he’s there to listen with my mon it’s different she’s controlling she doesn’t appreciate anything I do for her or around the house she acts like she doesnt care about me she doesn’t let me out the house (most of the time) and when I do go out it’s only for an hour then I have to come back in the house I feel like a dog caged up. She has a way of making people feel bad it’s like when she talks she’s talking just to talk she doesnt think about what she’s saying she doesn’t care if what she says is hurtful. When I’m sick or tell her I’m feeling bad she wouldn’t even care enough to atleast take me to the doctor to make sure everything’s alright with me . I had a urinary infection and the doctor gave me a prescription for my infection she threw the prescription away. My boyfriend had to get me some pills!.. What type if mother does that?.!..I try to do good in school and get good grades.. And when I do get good grades she doesn’t say ( keep up the good work, or I’m proud of you) none of that. I never disrespect my mom I never called her names I’ve never hit her I always show her that I love her but she doesn’t do it for me in return nd she’s the mother. Whenever she’s having problems with her boyfriend I’m always there to listen to her nd give her advice.. So y can’t she so that with me?.. Why can’t she show that she loves nd cares for me?.. If she continue on with this I’m moving in with my dad
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hi my name is kimberly , ill be turing 15 inn 5 months. my parennts divorced when i was a 5 , both parents re-married. my mother married a man who has molested me ever since i was inn the 3rd grade he has other charges on him so i would say he is a very dangourus man. (sorry for mis-spelled words) my mother still up to today dose not belive me about the things i have told her about him doing to me,. My father kidnapped me and brother about 5/6 years ago. during that time the woman who he re-married would abuse us 24/7 , my brother and i would also work to pay the house rent , we would go around parks and other places selling burnned CD’s each of us carring about 2 pounds of cd’s and bringing home about $120-200 each time we would sell. my mother during that time that we were missing found us and took us with her, ever since then iv been with her,but my staying with her has not been pleasent , as u read iv been molested more than 2 times , my stepfather is now in jail for drugs and other very bad things. i wish to divorce my mother , *she belifes just cause shes an adult she is allowed to leave the house at all hours of the night and not telling me where to or what time she will be bak at. she will just tell me to leave the door unlocked. only to have her come bak telling me how it went with the guy she just had sex with *she also brings alot of men to our home and sleeps with them knowing we can hear everything. *some times shell leave them unatented leaving me in danger. *she also has a habbit of breaking things last time she threw me a glass blender for no reason. *she also thinks just by buying me food she has completed her motherly duties. *working for about 7 hours for 4 days excuses her from house duties. EX)” kim im tired clean the house for me ,iv worked all day and im so tired when ur done can u wash my work uniform, oh by the way i met some guy on the internet and im going out wiht him i dont know for how long so dont lock the dooor i might bring him back here” ext. the list gose onn but i was wondering if i had a chance of divocing her. i understand i have to provied for myself that is why i have been looking for a job but non-being 16 is not easy to have one. i strongly belive in myself i have literly raised my brother and have put up with a childish adult who dosent have the means to be a mother. i have no other option i have looked for my father thinking i would be better of but no responce imm starting to think and belife he is dead. my grandmother dose not want me or my brother. i have no other family. it is sad that such a grown person can be so stupid. i belive im 100% mature and i know that i can be better of wihtout her. i have suffered alot in my life and it has made me very wise and mature for myage and i thank god for that could you plz reply to my help!!!!!!!