Violence Unsilenced – True Life Personal Survivor Stories of Abuse, Domestic Violence, Rape

Personal Stories of Abuse If you or someone you know is being abused or has been a victim of abuse, domestic violence, rape or molestation, it’s vital that you do something right now. Tell someone.

The culture of silence, fear and shame for survivors of abuse must end. Children who have been sexually abused don’t tell because they’re afraid, and that fear of telling is what the abuser is counting on to keep you silent for the rest of your life. If you don’t speak up and tell someone you are being abused now, or were physically or sexually assaulted at some point in the past, your abuser maintains control over you and your life.

You may have been threatened with further violence if you dare tell anyone that you were sexually assaulted, raped or beaten. You may feel you are all alone with the secret you have been keeping, or that no one would understand or believe you.

You are not alone. Abuse survivors and advocates do understand, will believe you and can provide needed encouragement and support to help you find your voice and end the cycle of abuse. How do I know? Because I’ve been there myself. I was afraid to tell anyone I was sexually abused as a child, fearing no one would believe me or do anything about it, but I found my voice and told my story anyway.

Years later I got married and became a victim of domestic violence by the man who vowed to love and cherish me “till death do us part”, but I found the courage and strength to leave and got a divorce. I took my power back, and because of that I don’t see myself as a victim. No, I am a survivor.

How do you develop the courage and strength to tell your personal story of rape, sexual assault or domestic violence, so you can take your power back and begin the healing process? By reading real life personal survivor stories of those who have been victimized themselves, and realizing that if they can do it, so can you. If I can do it, so can you. If other abuse survivors can do it, so can you.

You must tell someone.

Where do you find these personal stories to help you find the courage to tell? Violence Unsilenced shares real life personal accounts of survivors who tell their experiences of domestic violence and sexual assault to real people who listen, regardless of age, race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation or gender.

Story tellers receive encouragement and support in the comments section from others who understand and have empathy for the abuse survivor. You can also submit your own personal story to Violence Unsilenced if or when you are ready. You don’t have to use your “real name” if you don’t want to, and you can tell your story anonymously if that is your preference.

Reading books on sexual abuse also helps victims of all ages find the courage to tell someone they were sexually abused and begin the healing process. Those same books also help family members, parents and spouses better understand how sexual abuse affects victims survivors.

Just tell someone. Tell someone you can trust. Tell someone who will listen, but do tell your story. Tell Violence Unsilenced.

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7 Responses to “Violence Unsilenced – True Life Personal Survivor Stories of Abuse, Domestic Violence, Rape”

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  1. maggie says:

    This is a terrific article. Thank you so much for including Violence UnSilenced as a way to share stories and support survivors, I appreciate it so much!
    .-= maggie´s last blog ..Flutter =-.

    • Lin says:

      Maggie,

      Thank YOU for creating a place for survivors of domestic violence, sexual abuse, molestation and rape for victims to have their voices heard. To have a place to share their personal stories of being victimized in some way, and knowing that those who read their stories really do care and offer much needed encouragement and support is a phenomenal way of beginning to heal their wounds.

      Healing is possible for victims and survivors. The first step towards getting the help that is needed is telling.

  2. mikesgateway says:

    I work with SA survivors, especially one’s who have split themselves in order to survive such trauma. This article is great and SO NEEDED! I hope it reaches many people who need to know that they can be taken care of and protected. The shame is so intense relating to this terrible evil that most keep quiet and I spend the first 1 – 2 years just establishing enough trust and building value into the survivor before they can make movement into that pain….glad you are giving a voice to a much needed issue!

    • Lin says:

      Mike, sexual abuse and domestic violence are extremely important topics to discuss. That’s one of the biggest problems about this subject – people in general (who haven’t been victimized or know someone personally who has been) don’t want to have this subject put in front of them. I will keep on telling victims of all ages to keep on telling and don’t ever give up.

  3. Amanda says:

    My children and I were victims of domestic abuse. I was with there dad from the age of 14 to 27. We grew up together so i should have seen the signs as a kids, but i never did. I was 17 when he hiot me for the first time. I didnt want to see that it was domestic abuse because i did not want to move back home. I kept telling myself he would change that things would get better. Then when i was 18 i wanted a child and i thought he did too. he told me while i was pregnate with my daughter that if i wanted an abortion i could do it, and i told him no i dont bileave in that. I told him we made this child and now we need to be responsible enough to take care of her. all this time he was starting to say i dont want u around your family, and u cant talk to anyone. I had my daughter and i became very depressed from having post-partum depression and he would tell me thats not real your making it up. so i strated to belive things he would say. i would have things physically thrown at me if i made him upset. he threw a remote once and it hit right unnder my eye and left a brusie. well i wanted to leave then but never saw it as that. then we had our son and about 6 months later is when evrything really changed. He was diagnoised with having diabeties, and it was my fault that i was not there for him, but i was. i cooked his food to help him, i di my best that i knew to help him but it was not good enough. Jan after my son was born him and i were arguing and he grabed my throt in fron of my daughter, who was 4 at the time. I kne deep down this was our begining of the downfall to our end. he started saying i did this because if u doing this. he would never take responmsibilty for his actions. He started breaking a lot of my stuff if i weould upset him. then not long after that we ended up in a fight and he full fledged punched me in my chest and left a big black bruise on my chest from one side the other and it lasted for weeks. I would tell i am not going to be treated this way but that would just upset him more and make him want to hurt me again. well then april came and he cheated on me. i told myself i was not going to do this anymore. about a week before he was arrested for domestic violence he decided i did something wrong again and he punched me again in the chest area, and left another black bruise. on aprfil 19th 2006 he came home all mad because we were arguing. then we were sitting in the living room with his mother. and i through the phone down i had and told i am done. he told me pick up the phone now. and i refused and that was when he walked up to me and upened his hand, and as hard as he could he back handed my right side of my face. he hit me soo hard i bruised uo instantly. I ran into the kitchen crying and he came after me and all our parents were there now. He put his head down and came charging after me, and rammed his head into my stomache and dropped me to the ground. that us when my dad and his mom tackked him to get him off me, which they did. The poilcce were called and they arrested him. While that night his friend cam over and told me how long he had been cheating on me. And my heart just broke into a million pieces because after evrything i did for him he went out behind my back and cheated. i knew it would never be the same. He did evntually come back, and things were good while he was on probation. but as soon as he got off things started all over again. this time he pushed me in front of the kids and i feel hitting my back on the tub leaving a bruise. another time we got to arguing so bad that he grabbed both of my wrists and held my hand above my head and hit me in one spot over and over till i had a black bruise and probablly some rib fractures but i never reported it. well last oct of 2008 he cheated on me again. by then knew i was wanting to not be with him, i was too unhappy. I only let him back because i wanted things for my kids, but in the process i hurt them more. well i made my decision that i wanted to try and give my kids one last holiday before i left there dad, which was christmas. we ,made it to dec 5th and i told him goodbye. we got into yet another arguement because he had spanked my kids with a belt and i disaproved of that. we also were fighting because i put make-up on and he did not wannt me wearing it. i had some poilce officers go woth me to get my belongings and my children too. a few days late i showed up at the home i left with my kids trying to get some things while he was not there and he showed up. he kept begging me to come back and i told him no i am not. well after so long of beging me he got mad. i had the kids in the back seat of my car. He climbed in my car on top of me in the passanger seat and procceded to choke me. he was grabbing and sqweezing my throat soo hard i started to black out and i heard my kids screaming. i was trying to scream for help myself but it came out in a whisper instead. i thoought i am going to die right here with my kids watching. for what ever reason i thank god for though he let go. i could breath. he was arrested again for domestic abuse for the second time. i got a no-contact-order. they told me i could go back home because he had to leave. i did go home and i made christmas good for my children. the day afte christmas he broke in and held my children and i hostage for 4 hrs. as he walked out the door he said if there is any love there for me you wont call the police. but i did call the police and reported it. a month later he was aressted because violation of a no contact order and domestic abuse for the 3rd time. i was brusied uo trying to force him out the door and not let him in. he also was founded and comfirmed and put on the child abuse registry for 10yrs on both my children nfor denial of critcal care/failure to provide proper supervision. It is now 9 months later. my daughte and i both have been diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety on top of my depression. we are doing supervised visits but they wont last much longer because DHS wants to close my case. I have moved on but i still have panic attacks if i think i see him. i am seeing someone new, and he knows my history with my ex. He is the complete opposite of my ex, and my children love him. he has been very paitent too. For all the victims going through domestic abuse, it starts small and it does not always end with the victim being alive at the end. I wanted to live and i know now everything happens for a reason and i always look for the good in all things.

    • Hi Amanda,

      Thank you for sharing your story here. If you feel up to sharing it over at Violence UnSilenced, I can add you to the line-up. Email me at maggie@violenceunsilenced.com if you wish.

      I am so sorry for all you’ve gone through.

    • Lin says:

      Amanda,

      Thank you for sharing your personal story of having been a victim of domestic abuse. The things that have happened to you and your children are horrendous. I’m so glad you found your way out of the abuse. I hope you and your children are receiving professional help for the post stress disorder you’ve been going through. Please DO email Maggie at the email address she provided, so your domestic abuse story can help others who are going through similar abuse to know they too can get out.