Spicing Up Your Marriage

It’s no secret that a marriage can become a bit dull at times. This doesn’t mean that you love your husband or wife any less than you ever have, but simply that you have hit a lull. Furthermore, it is perfectly common for this to happen. When two people bind themselves together in marriage, they eventually adopt a routine together, which can be somewhat exciting at first, but which can also become somewhat boring.

Perhaps you separate for work in the morning, join each other for dinner, spend the evening together, and go to bed – pleasant enough, but also lacking some excitement! Whatever your particular routine is, if you have noticed your marriage starting to become a bit duller lately, it is important to take steps to “spice things up.”

The most important part of this process is not to weigh it more heavily than necessary. If you feel a bit bored with your marriage, it doesn’t necessarily mean that there is some deep problem, or, again, that your love is diminished. In all likelihood, you just need something to kick your relationship back into gear and help you and your partner to remember how much fun you can have together.

There are literally thousands of ways to do this, and to some extent what works for you depends upon the nature and structure of your own marriage. However, here are a few general tips that seem to work for a lot of couples.

  • Take a vacation. This is one of the most highly recommended remedies for a struggling or lulling marriage, because it provides just about every element you could ask for in a solution. As mentioned before, one problem with a lot of marriages is that routine begins to dominate, and a vacation can remove you from that routine, allowing you to simply relax and spend time on each other. Whether you are looking for an intimate and romantic holiday at an exotic location, or simply a quick getaway to ease some stress, taking a vacation can be a great way to get your marriage back on track. Chances are once you’re alone together, away from the stresses and schedules of everyday life, you’ll quickly start having a bit more fun, and this will then carry over back into your normal life.
  • Don’t forget to do things with mutual friends. In marriage, you get plenty of one-on-one time, and chances are you’ve figured out how to make time for friends on occasion. However, you don’t need to keep your marriage and your friends separate, and in fact it is far healthier to mingle. Having events with mutual friends allows you and your spouse to spend time together in a social setting without completely depending upon each other, and this is a very healthy thing. Don’t forget that a marriage can become somewhat dull if your only social interactions are with each other!
  • Schedule date nights. Even if you do find yourself bogged down in a routine, chances are you are still able to at least eat dinner together most nights, etc. Unfortunately, however, this can become part of the routine, and even if the dinners themselves are pleasant, the overall cycle can become tiresome. So try to carve out time, maybe one night a week, to do something different. This can be your “date night” with your spouse, and can keep some of the spontaneity from your dating days alive. It may mean simply going out to eat at a different restaurant each night, or even planning different sorts of dates. Whatever the case, having this sort of event on your weekly calendar gives you both something to look forward to, and something to be creative and exciting about.
  • Spice up the bedroom a bit. Your sex life has a strong effect on your marriage, and any dissatisfaction or boredom in the bedroom may lead to a bit less love and passion outside of it. There are various ways to ensure that your bedroom experiences with your spouse stay exciting and engaging. Ultimately, just remember to be willing to try new things. This may mean taking advice from others, experimenting together, or even looking into some of the products from a store like Adam & Eve. Whatever you choose to do, you may well find that improving your life in the bedroom improves your marriage as a whole.

Again, in the end how you bring excitement back into your marriage is up to you, and depends on how you view your relationship personally. You might just need something as simple as a single romantic date, or you might need a series of vacations! Whatever the case, if you talk to your spouse about the need for a bit of excitement, and you work together to bring a spark back to your relationship, you will be a few steps closer to reinvigorating your marriage.

Guest post submitted by Katie.

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2 Responses to “Spicing Up Your Marriage”

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  1. Depressedandalone says:

    My husband works out of state and let me tell you how absence has NOT made the heart grow fonder… I feel like he hates me..we went out for our anniversary and it was like an awkward first date… Trying to be sexy later on, was even more awkward… I feel like he’s not attracted to me anymore or that he resents me for having our children and costing him more money that he can’t blow on himself… But he blows money on stuff that we don’t need all the time… I want my marriage to work, but he makes me feel horrible about myself… I feel like the physical attention he gives me is either forced and not enjoyed, or done solely to pleasure himself… He never complements me or touches me…I’ve even lost 30 lbs recently and he still seems almost irritated when I try to connect with him…do you think there’s hope?

  2. Frank and I were having a lot of trouble, you know, feeling like the romance had gone away? I read this post a few weeks ago and I started to make plans based on your suggestions. We had a big date night, where we went out to dinner and dancing, like we used to. That night was HOT! I hope that’s not inappropriate for the comments in your blog! I’m really just glad that there are people out there like you that make it a point to share these kinds of tips. No one ever really wants to talk about their married life like this, and it’s a shame. Everyone seems to keep everything a big secret. If they would just share their stories, like you are doing and like I’m doing in this comment, then the divorce rate would probably be zero!