This is My Blog and I Will Blog Whatever I Want

AudaciousYes, this is MY blog and I will blog or write about whatever I want, thank you very much. I almost titled this post, “Telling It Like It Is is Not For the Faint of Heart”, which on some levels is very true.

Over the last several months there have been an increasing number of what I refer to as lurkers, spammers, trolls, haters, naysayers and perverts emailing me and attempting to leave pathetic comments on posts.

Some of the worst offenders are those arriving from those pesky “DoFollow blog lists”, where newbie bloggers show up like a bat out of hell, dive-bombing this site in hopes of getting a link back to their site by leaving a pathetic “great blog, keep it up” sort of comment. If you have a blog of your own, you are likely well aware of these pests.

Telling It Like It Is has a comment policy and privacy policy like all/most other blogs and websites have, including a “mark as spam” button and a “delete” button, which I use quite frequently. If “DoFollow” dive bombers wish to continue wasting their time targeting this site for a backlink, knock yourselves out…but if you ever decide to check back to see if your “comment” was approved…you’ll be sadly mistaken.

Running a close second behind the dive bombers are those who are none too happy that I continue to write about child sexual abuse, especially the articles that tell kids and victims to tell they are being sexually abused now or were sexually abused by someone in the past.

I have received emails and attempted comments from people who are not happy at all that the Protect Our Children Act was passed. Now, readers, you tell me…what kind of person would NOT want me or anyone else having the “audacity” to be telling kids to tell someone they are or were sexually abused? Think about that for a minute, then come to your own conclusions.
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Violence Unsilenced – True Life Personal Survivor Stories of Abuse, Domestic Violence, Rape

Personal Stories of AbuseIf you or someone you know is being abused or has been a victim of abuse, domestic violence, rape or molestation, it’s vital that you do something right now. Tell someone.

The culture of silence, fear and shame for survivors of abuse must end. Children who have been sexually abused don’t tell because they’re afraid, and that fear of telling is what the abuser is counting on to keep you silent for the rest of your life. If you don’t speak up and tell someone you are being abused now, or were physically or sexually assaulted at some point in the past, your abuser maintains control over you and your life.

You may have been threatened with further violence if you dare tell anyone that you were sexually assaulted, raped or beaten. You may feel you are all alone with the secret you have been keeping, or that no one would understand or believe you.

You are not alone. Abuse survivors and advocates do understand, will believe you and can provide needed encouragement and support to help you find your voice and end the cycle of abuse. How do I know? Because I’ve been there myself. I was afraid to tell anyone I was sexually abused as a child, fearing no one would believe me or do anything about it, but I found my voice and told my story anyway.

Years later I got married and became a victim of domestic violence by the man who vowed to love and cherish me “till death do us part”, but I found the courage and strength to leave and got a divorce. I took my power back, and because of that I don’t see myself as a victim. No, I am a survivor.
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Childhood Obesity and Child Abuse: Is Child Obesity Child Abuse?

Childhood Obesity EpidemicIs childhood obesity child abuse? Should parents of overweight or obese children be criminally charged with child abuse or neglect, where parents may be found guilty of child abuse and sentenced to jail time for having an overfed or obese child? When does parental indulgence become child abuse or neglect? Who is responsible when children are overweight or clinically obese, and should governmental agencies get involved?

A report by USA Today has attracted national attention to the case of a 555-pound teenage boy in South Carolina, whose mother was arrested in June and charged with criminal neglect because of her son’s weight. 14-year-old Alexander Draper is now in foster care, pending the outcome of charges against his mother, 49-year-old Jerri Gray.

“Jerri Gray was doing all she could to help her son lose weight, her attorney says. But something had gone terribly wrong for the boy to hit the 555-pound mark by age 14. Authorities in South Carolina say that what went wrong was Gray’s care and feeding of her son, Alexander Draper. Gray, 49, of Travelers Rest, S.C., was arrested in June and charged with criminal neglect.”

If your child or teenager is overweight or clinically obese, could your child be taken away from you, followed by you being charged with child abuse or neglect? Jerri Gray’s attorney, Grant Varner, says this case could open the door to criminal charges against parents whose children become dangerously overweight.

“If she’s found guilty on those criminal charges, you have set a precedent that opens Pandora’s box,” Grant Varner says. “Where do you go next?”

Childhood obesity is on the rise all across the U.S., according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and many states have begun to take legal action against parents. According to a 2008 report published by Child Welfare League of America, state courts in Texas, Pennsylvania, New York, New Mexico, Indiana and California have been trying to decide what to do about obesity in children.
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Deaths in Threes – Do Deaths Come in 3 or Do Celebrity Deaths Come in Threes

Janet Jackson BET Awards“Deaths occur in threes. If one person in your family dies, two more will within a short period of time.” Do deaths come in threes or is it just an old wives tale? There’s been a lot of discussion in the last few days that deaths always happen in threes or celebrity deaths come in threes, and questions about where the “deaths come in 3” tale came from.

My understanding is that the origin of the old wives tale or legend about deaths occurring in threes came from the first world war. When the men would light their cigarettes they knew not to use 3 on a match because the enemy could pinpoint them and shoot them from the light of the match being lit so long.

The myth about deaths in threes is often used as proof regarding “notable”, famous celebrities, but people tend to forget about the deaths of celebrities who may not be quite as famous and well known around the world as others who have died.

Some people also claim that the deaths in threes rule applies to deaths occurring within 3 days of each other, while others claim the myth applies to deaths happening “within a short period of time” according to the legend.

The Wall Street Journal listed some “deaths in threes” examples like this:

• Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the “Big Bopper” all died together in a plane crash in 1959
• Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison all died in close succession in 1970-71
• In 2003, Johnny Cash, John Ritter, and Warren Zevon all died within the same week
• In 2005, King Fahd, Peter Jennings and Robin Cook died within a week of each other
• The following year brought the closely timed deaths of Don Knotts, Darren McGavin and Dennis Weaver
• Heath Ledger, Suzanne Pleshette and Brad Renfro all died within a week of each other in January 2008

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How to Divorce Your Parents, Minors Emancipation, Can You Divorce Your Parents?

how-to-divorce-your-parentsCan you divorce your parents? How do you divorce your parents if you are an adult child dealing with controlling parents or in-laws, or a teenager seeking legal minor emancipation or “divorce” from your parents? Are you dealing with a toxic, abusive and/or controlling parent and want to know how to “divorce” your parents?

I’ve received several “divorce your parents” email questions in recent weeks, from adult children dealing with over-involved, controlling parents who don’t know how to parent adult children, and from teens who think that getting pregnant on purpose or getting married too young is the way to qualify for emancipation from parents in order to get out from underneath their parents thumb. I’ll first respond to the adult children, then the teens.

If you are an adult child who has been researching “parents controlling adult children” or “controlling parents”, you likely came across my articles about parents helping vs. enabling adult children and didn’t think those apply to your specific situation (or they do apply, but that’s not what you want to hear and you don’t want to admit it).

How To Divorce Your Parents

Based on some of the emails I’ve received, I’d venture to say that there is a strong possibility that you may have a sense of entitlement that makes you want to “have your cake and eat it too”, but you can’t have it both ways.

If you really are dealing with “controlling parents” or in-laws that don’t understand what parenting adult children means or the need for respectful boundaries, these articles will help explain that “divorcing” controlling, toxic parents as grown, adult children may be the only viable option left to protect your physical, emotional, mental health and well-being.

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Should You Tell You Were Sexually Abused? What Happens When You Tell?

child-sexual-abuse“I was sexually abused, should I tell?”; “Should I tell my mother I was sexually abused?”; “Should you tell your spouse you were sexually abused?”; “What should you do if you were sexually abused and you can’t your mom?”; “How do I know if I’ve been sexually abused?”; “What happens if you tell you were sexually abused?”

These are some of the questions I’ve received from child sexual abuse victims over the last few weeks, from sexually abused children as young as 10 to older victims in their teens, and others that are married and have children of their own. They all wanted to know what they should do, who they can or should tell, if they should tell anyone about being sexually abused, and how to tell a parent they were sexually abused.

Yes, if someone is sexually abusing you or has sexually abused you in the past, you should tell a trustworthy adult about the abuse and as soon as possible. Why should you tell? Because keeping the abuse a secret is what your abuser wants, and you need help from adults to stop the abuse and stop the abuser from molesting or raping anyone else.

Sexual abuse statistics show that child molesters don’t molest just one person and then suddenly stop. No, pedophiles and child molesters continue to sexually abuse victims until they are caught and arrested, and the authorities are able to bring charges against your abuser so he or she can no longer harm anyone else.
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Oprah Warns Rihanna: Oprah Warns Rihanna, Love Doesn’t Hurt

Oprah’s warning to Rihanna has been all over the internet, and I really hope Rihanna is paying attention to what Oprah warns WILL happen if Rihanna isn’t very careful about her relationship with “alleged-abuser” Chris Brown. Oprah knows what she’s talking about, and abused women all over the world need to take heed to Oprah’s warning that Love Doesn’t Hurt! Rihanna, are you listening to Oprah?!

We’ve all heard the news reports of the “alleged attack” by Chris Brown on his girlfriend Rihanna, and we’ve seen the pictures online “allegedly” showing a beaten, bruised and battered Rihanna. It’s enough to make Oprah and all women outraged that Chris Brown raised his hand to Rihanna at all, but also that Brown not only bit Rihanna, but “allegedly” punched her in the face multiple times.

To Rihanna, teenage girls and women who are being abused by angry, controlling, abusive men listen up! Abusive men do NOT change! Do NOT become a statistic like so many other Rihanna’s in the world. The truth is, Rihanna is a celebrity who has been battered and beaten, and I’m thrilled that Oprah is doing a show next week dedicated to abused women and teen girls.

Abusive relationships affect teenage girls and women all over the world, and teenage abusive relationships are on the increase. Regardless of Rihanna’s celebrity status, Rihanna is no different than any other women who has been abused either physically, mentally or emotionally. Rihanna could be your sister, mother, cousin, niece or even your own daughter, and it’s about time abused teenage girls and women finally realize that abusive men will promise you “it will never happen again”, but don’t you believe it! Love Doesn’t Hurt! Oprah was right when she said, “If a man hits you once, he WILL hit you again“!

Oprah Warns Rihanna Video

I sure hope Rihanna will watch Oprah’s show, and that Rihanna will do some serious soul-searching about the abuse she suffered. I also hope Rihanna will take some time to herself, read everything she can get her hands on about abusive men and how statistics prove that if a man hits you once, he WILL hit you again! Are YOU in an abusive relationship? Do you know the signs of an abusive relationship and the steps you must take to protect yourself from your abuser?

International Women’s Day 2009 Cards March 8th

international-womens-day-2009Today is March 8th, 2009, and on this day women celebrate International Women’s Day 2009 (IWD) around the world. Advances have been made since International Women’s Day began in 1911, celebrating the economic, political and social achievements of women of past, present and future generations. Even though some women (and men) would say “we’ve come a long way baby”, we’ve got a long way to go before women as individuals and as a group are treated with respect and dignity.

Women and women’s groups around the world are commemorating March 8th by sending International Women’s Day cards to all their female friends and family, as women consider how far we’ve come and what women’s rights are still needed for all women.

Women and teen girls are physically, mentally and emotionally abused by husbands and boyfriends every single day, so today I unite with all women in the ongoing effort to bring better understanding, respect and appreciation of phenomenal women, and girls who are still growing to become the women they are meant to be.

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

(Author Maya Angelou)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can’t touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can’t see.
I say,
It’s in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I’m a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.

Now you understand
Just why my head’s not bowed.
I don’t shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It’s in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
‘Cause I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman.

Family Watch Dog: Find Sex Offenders in Your Area at Family Watch Dog

watchdogFamily Watch Dog: Find sex offenders in your area free! Are sex offenders living in your area? Did you know you can find sex offenders in your area, neighborhood and state in the U.S. for free? Yes you can, and you need to know where sex offenders, pedophiles and sexual predators live within your local area to help keep your children safe from becoming victims of molestation and/or rape, starting at Family Watch Dog.

FamilyWatchDog.us (NOT FamilyWatchDog.com or Family WatchDog.org) is a free online sex offender registry that tracks sex offenders and where they live, updated on a daily basis, including a Family Watchdog map showing where sex offenders are currently living.

Family Watch Dog provides sex offender information, offender updates, statistics, FDA information, product recalls and much more. How many sex offenders live in your area and surrounding neighborhoods right now?

Knowing how to find registered sex offenders living near you, your children and family, can do much to protect children from becoming a victim of strangers seeking to molest and harm children.

Family Watchdog is the most visited online sex offender resource on the Internet, averaging 5 million visitors every month, with visitors looking to find sex offenders living nearby their homes and businesses.

Protecting children from child molesters, understanding the signs and symptoms of child sexual abuse, goes beyond the mistaken assumption that pedophiles and child molesters are most often strangers (“Stranger Danger”), people you and/or your children don’t know and have never met.

Learn the facts about child molestation in order to know and understand the harsh reality that sex offenders and pedophiles are living much closer than you might think possible. Keeping watch over your children by regularly searching the www.FamilyWatchdog.us database is an absolute must for all parents and families, but don’t stop there.

Sex offenders, child molesters, sexual predators and pedophiles come from all walks of life and unfortunately…, many sex offenders haven’t been caught and put in jail yet because their victims don’t tell on their abusers because they are too afraid to tell or have been threatened in some way.

The effects of child molestation and/or rape are enormous for victims, survivors and families. Adult survivors of child sex abuse, molestation or rape often continue to feel those effects throughout their lives in their relationships, marriage and families, while desperately working towards finding some sense of healing from the past.

Find sex offenders in your area at FamilyWatchDog.us, but don’t assume complete strangers are the ones you should be most concerned about.

Most Popular Blog Posts 2008 at Telling It Like It Is

Most Popular Blog Posts

Most Popular Blog Posts

When I decided to start a blog with my very first blog post more than two years ago, I didn’t know anything about creating a blog where I could share parenting advice, marriage and relationship advice etc, but I knew that starting a blog that wasn’t just a personal blog all about me was something I was/am passionate about and I look forward to creating many more popular blog posts in 2009.

As we ring in the New Year, I’d like to share some of the most popular blog posts from Telling It Like It Is, based on popularity, number of views and/or comments, and a few of my personal favorites thrown in for good measure.

  1. Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?
  2. Are Parents Helping Or Enabling Their Adult Children?
  3. Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling and Abusive Men
  4. Helping and Enabling – Is There A Difference?
  5. How to Get Along With the In-Laws: Dealing With In-Laws and Extended Family
  6. Toxic Relationships – Toxic Family Members
  7. Keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage
  8. How to Spice Up Your Marriage: Fun and Easy Ways to Add Romance to Your Relationship
  9. Zero Tolerance for Disrespectful, Cussing Kids
  10. So Sexy, So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood in Commercial Culture
  11. Building Self-Confidence in Children with Self-Esteem Activities
  12. Understanding Assertiveness: Getting The Respect You Deserve
  13. Child Sexual Abuse: Facts VS. Myths
  14. Taking Care of Aging Parents as a Family
  15. Evaluating And Choosing The Right Niche For Your Personality And Passion
  16. Can I Get Paid to Care for a Family Member: Elderly Mother or Father?
  17. How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law
  18. A Sense of Entitlement
  19. Children and Divorce: How to Tell Children About Your Divorce
  20. 10 Ways to Raise Children to USE Drugs
  21. The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It
  22. How to Fight Fair in Marriage
  23. Computer Monitoring Software- Do You Know What Your Kids Are Doing Online?
  24. How to Spot a Gold Digger
  25. Miley Cyrus AKA Hanna Montana Going Topless For Vanity Fair