Telling It Like It Is» Children

Grandparents Interfering by Suggesting Baby Names?

Lin — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 11:00:04 +0000

If a grandparent were to suggest baby names to one or both soon-to-be parents, is the grandparent interfering? Why is suggesting nice girl or boy names as possible options out of excitement and anticipation of the coming baby considered an interference in the parents lives? As a grandmother of three and soon-to-be grandma of two more grandchildren, hearing about the baby names being discussed as possibilities is fun and exciting. I haven’t made a single suggestion for any baby names and I’m not going to.

Baby names for our upcoming grandchildren is one of the many things being planned and considered, even though there is still plenty of time for the baby’s parents to make their final selection of their favorite baby names for either a boy baby or girl baby. Some of the girl names that have been mentioned are beautiful, feminine and “soft” sounding, perfect baby names for girls, while names for boy babies are a bit more challenging for the parents to pick even one they both like.

As I’ve said before, choosing a grandparent name or nickname for “Grandpa” and I is really no big deal. I would happily accept the moniker of “Grandma” if that is the name my grandchildren ultimately choose to call me, and Grandpa doesn’t care either. But when it comes to parents choosing baby names, that is an area where friends, in-laws and grandparents can often get themselves into trouble.

Based on the message boards, blog articles and comments, as well as grandparent forums and online polls about grandparents interfering in the decision-making process for baby names that I’ve seen, it is clear to me that some grandparents have stepped over the very fine line between making simple suggestions about baby names to rude and disrespectful behaviors. On the other hand, there have also been many cases where hyper-sensitivity on the part of one parent (usually the daughter-in-law) creates a full-blown war over baby name suggestions, based on the kinds of email I receive regularly about so-called interfering grandparents or mother-in-laws.

Oh the stories I could tell of grandparents, mother-in-laws and father-in-laws making a few harmless baby names suggestions of boy or girl names they really liked and the baby’s parents subsequent reactions would be shocking to readers. Sure, there are boy and girl baby names chosen by celebrities that might fall into the category of “weird”, “odd”, or downright crazy names celeb’s choose to name their children. Whereas, some parents might think naming their baby Apple, Camera, Puma, Chastity, Sailor, Suri, Banjo, Free, Dweezil, Moon Unit or Diva Muffin are just unique baby names that no one else has.

There are online websites that list the most popular baby names for any given year, but you can bet that if a grandparent were to suggest any of those baby names for girls or boys, there will be parents who become upset at the mere suggestion. So much thought goes into choosing a name for a baby, including the various meanings and unique spellings of names under consideration, that it would be best for grandparents and the relationships with their adult children to keep their ideas to themselves unless asked directly.

Even if/when the parents-to-be ask for advice or want ideas for baby names, tread very lightly and carefully so any names you may suggest does not come across as telling the parents what names they must choose for their own child. I named my children, you named your babies, so take a step back and give the parents the space they deserve in naming their own child. If you, as the grandparent, don’t like or actually hate a baby name chosen, suck it up and deal with it. The choice of names is theirs, not yours.

If you hate a child’s first name but like their middle name best, calling the child by their middle name instead of their legal first name (the name chosen by the parents) will get grandparents or in-laws into trouble. The line between being helpful and interfering is extremely thin, and in some cases, being too sensitive to hearing input offered by grandparents or in-laws creates bigger problems than necessary.

If parents ask for baby name ideas, be prepared to hear the person’s favorite names. If you don’t want advice on names, don’t discuss baby names and don’t ask for suggestions from people. It is unfair to grandparents, in-laws, friends etc to discuss problems, concerns, worries or conflicts about baby names, child development or child behavior problems with people and then get upset and argue when thoughtful solutions are offered.

Some parents choose to keep the names they’ve chosen private until the baby is born in order to avoid problems and conflicts. When the announcement was made that a baby is on the way and we’re about to become grandparents again, the first-time parents were given a baby names book with over 100,000 names for boy and girls to choose the perfect name for their child. Not only does it help them in their efforts to find their favorite names to decide on, but it helps take the pressure off of grandparents wanting to suggest baby names that the parents may or may not like and being treated as interfering grandparents.

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Food Face Dinner Plate for Picky Eaters Makes Eating Healthy a Fun Game

Lin — Fri, 20 Jan 2012 11:00:16 +0000

The Food Face Dinner Plate makes getting kids to eat healthy foods a fun game to play during dinner, lunch or any meal. Isn’t this a cute plate for kids? From what I’ve heard, Parents Magazine even did a write up on the food face plate as a fun activity, but I haven’t seen that article.

If you have problems getting your kid to try new foods, especially healthy stuff like vegetables, they will have fun eating their dinner on this food face plate. The food face ceramic dinner plate measures 8.5 inches in diameter, a perfect size and fun style if there ever was one, to get your picky eater to at least try different types of foods.

Who knows, maybe making eating a game for toddlers will help instill in young kids the importance of eating a healthy diet and getting them to try fruits or veggies they would normally refuse.

I may have to buy this dinner plate for my grandchildren, who aren’t quite toddlers yet since they’re less than two years old, but being able to make faces with their food might make things easier for the parents to get the tykes to eat their peas and carrots when the time comes. The Food Face Dinner Plate is sold by Perpetual Kid at a very low cost of $9.99 if you’re interested in buying the plate for your kids.

There are so many cookbooks for kids available now to help get picky eaters to enjoy healthy foods, especially since children can have a fun time helping prepare dinner with recipes found in their very own cookbook. I think I’ll order a couple sets of the food face dinner plate and a couple kid cookbooks too, and when they come over to Grandma’s house we’ll make a game out of it and do a taste test of different foods on their new plates.

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A Child Psychologist’s Top 10 Wishes for Parents in 2012

Lin — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 11:00:07 +0000

Tolstoy famously wrote “Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Modern psychological science supports this wisdom in findings that extend back for decades and traverse the globe. My work has focused on trying to distill this research into 10 effective and time-efficient strategies that hectic parents can use to promote wellness, happiness and resilience in their children and themselves.

So, my wish for parents in 2012 is to practice these 10 strategies (each of which constitutes a chapter in my parenting book Working Parents, Thriving Families: 10 Strategies That Make a Difference). Here they are:

#1. Spend one hour a week with each child doing nothing but paying attention and saying what you like about your child, what he or she is doing or what he or she is saying. This special time is different from quality time (i.e., in quality time something else is usually holding my attention in addition to my child). What an apple a day is to a pediatrician, this hour a week of special time is to a child psychologist.

#2. Discover what your child excels at, help her or him to develop it and give her or him regular experiences with such, especially in public. All of us have talents that reside at the top of the bell curve, though they often go undiscovered or undeveloped. To discover and develop your child’s talents is a major gift. (By the way, these first two strategies go to the core of self-esteem formation.)

#3. Develop and support daily, weekly, seasonal and special occasion rituals. Such activities can serve as islands of stability in the torrential currents of our culture. Think of it from the perspective of your child: Kids may be shooting kids in school, planes may be crashing into buildings but we still have pizza night, or go to church on Sunday, or have a family meal or, (fill in the blank). These “we alwayses” are music to a parent’s ears.

#4. Further develop your child’s psychological muscle to do things when he or she doesn’t feel like it by developing an effective discipline plan. Try to avoid what doesn’t work (e.g, corporal punishment, harshness)–knowing that we are all capable of lapses and not being too hard on yourself for them–and to use what does work (e.g., setting specific age-appropriate expectations and linking them to outcomes desired by your child, using time-out). By the time he or she is an adult this “muscle” will likely predict his or her success across multiple vocational and interpersonal realms.

#5. Monitor well. Of course, this means establishing appropriate parent controls on the range of media devices to which your child has access. But, it also means limiting sedentary electronic pleasuring to two hours a day and, when she or he is out of your site, knowing where he or she is, who she or he is with, what they are doing and what responsible adult is in charge of monitoring.

#6. Remember that your child’s wellness depends upon your wellness and the wellness of your relationship with your significant other. Secure your oxygen mask first before securing your child’s (e.g., each chapter in the aforementioned book includes a strategy from the positive psychology literature for parents to promote their own wellness.)

#7. Promote harmony, collaboration and effective relationships with the other important adults in your child’s life. The more you do this the better your child will fair. This is the case with teachers, coaches, and, especially, exes (e.g., two things best predict adjustment to divorce: the number of changes the child experiences, with the fewer the better, and how well the parents get along).

#8. Make sure that your child’s health tripod (i.e., sleep, physical activity and diet) is strong. Make sure he or she gets recommended doses of sleep (1-3 years old: 12-14 hours, 3-5 years old: 11-13 hours, 5-12 years old: 10-11 hours, Teens: 8.5-9.25 hours), sweats and breathes hard an hour a day (or at least most days) and eats a balanced diet (e.g., low in refined/processed carbohydrates and junk food, lots of veggies, fruits, whole grains, healthy fats, and quality fish). So many kinds of problems can go away, or be avoided to begin with, when this tripod is strong.

#9. Empower your child to make decisions that are developmentally appropriate and teach her or him how to respond adaptively to failure (e.g., crisis = pain + opportunity). We parents hurt worse when our kid hurts. This can sometimes cause us to make too many decisions for our kids and/or to try to protect our kids from the consequences of their choices.

#10. If your child is suffering from anything more than transient mental pain, treat it as you would more than transient dental pain, and seek out the services of a qualified mental health professional (most kids have such pain by adulthood but only a small minority get effective care). And, if you do, educate yourself regarding what differentiates pedestrian from quality care (lots of guidance is provided in my book).

We parents number among the most selfless beings in the universe. I hope you give yourself credit for that as you raise your progeny this year. And, if there is anything I can do to help you in your parenting mission, please don’t hesitate to let me know.

Dr. David Palmiter is a psychology professor, practicing psychologist, President-Elect of the Pennsylvania Psychological Association and Public Education Coordinator for the American Psychological Association. He also has been married for 20+ years and has three children ranging in age from 11 to 16. His blog is at www.hecticparents.com, his Twitter moniker is @HelpingParents and his primary website is at www.helpingfamilies.com.

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Fluoride is a Poison – How Does Fluoride Affect Health

Lin — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 11:00:58 +0000

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, fluoride IS a toxic poison. Fluoride added to water supplies is NOT pharmaceutical grade fluoride. Not even close. The negative health affects of consuming fluoride via water fluoridation, fluoride toothpastes, mouthwashes, rinses, fluoride supplements, vitamins etc etc, are well known and proven to be a fact.

Just a few days ago I happened to notice the cover story of a dental magazine by the ADA called “ADA News”, mentioning how a town in Florida had recently voted 3-2 to keep their municipal water supply fluoridated. See it here. What do the two people who voted against continuing adding fluoride to the town’s water supply know about fluoride that the other three do not know or choose to ignore? What about all the people that live in that town? Do the citizens not have a right to choose if they want toxic chemicals forcibly added to their water supply against their consent, and perhaps even without their informed knowledge?

And guess what? The various health “authorities” (The American Dental Association and others) heavily promoting fluoride use on dental patients and the general public know full well that more and more scientists, doctors, dentists, dental hygienists and the general public (YOU) are wising up and realizing they have been lying to you for many years about fluoride and water fluoridation, and are increasing the pressure on dentists and dental staff to increase the promotion of fluoride use and fluoridated water. See the proof here. The Almighty Dollar is at stake.

The TRUST that uninformed and misinformed doctors, dental professionals and consumers have placed in these “authorities” to truly be looking out for the good and well-being of the public is unraveling rapidly, and the once blindly trusted authorities don’t like it one bit. More and more people are becoming aware of the fact that health authorities and government officials have known for a very long time just how toxic and health damaging fluoride truly is. Watch this brief 5 minute film showing how the facts about fluoride’s harmful effects on health have been known and proven for a very long time.

Fluoride and water fluoridation promoters are fighting hard against their opponents, those who are against water fluoridation and fluoride in dental products, etc. However, those in opposition to fluoride are fighting just as hard, if not harder, to inform the public (YOU) to read and research for yourselves WHY fluoride is toxic and why fluoride is harmful and where fluoride REALLY comes from.

Below is another article about the harmful effects of fluoride, written and submitted by Dr. Tom McGuire, who has kindly submitted previous guest articles on the damaging effects of “silver” mercury amalgam fillings.

Introducing Dr. Tom McGuire….

Fluoride is a Poison – How Does Fluoride Affect Health?

Fluoride is a poison and there are those who make a good argument that it is not needed by the body, in any quantity for any reason. The fact that it is found in the body doesn’t mean the body needs it. Mercury is found in the body and everyone knows the body doesn’t need it. Even the fact that it has shown to reduce tooth decay doesn’t mean it isn’t a hazardous substance.

The amount of fluoride that is said to reduce tooth decay is only slightly less, in parts per million, than the amount that causes dental fluorosis, which I speak of later in this article. There is no doubt that it exhibits unwanted side effects in extremely small amounts and sodium fluoride is actually still used as a rat poison.

Since 1997 the FDA requires that all fluoridated toothpaste carry a warning that reads:

Keep out of reach of children under 6 years of age. If you accidentally swallow more than used for brushing, seek PROFESSIONAL HELP or contact a POISON CONTROL center immediately.

In fact, if a small child swallowed the contents of a regular sized tube of fluoridated toothpaste it would most likely be fatal. Parents are also encouraged to use only a pea sized drop of toothpaste for children under six and to make sure it is not swallowed after brushing and rinsing. Of course this isn’t an easy task as toothpaste manufacturers make toothpaste very appealing to children, especially in how it tastes, and children have a built in tendency to swallow everything that tastes good.

Fluoride’s Link to other Diseases

In addition, fluoride has been linked to bone cancer and a debilitating bone disease called skeletal fluorosis, with symptoms ranging from chronic joint pain to hip fractures and bone cancer. Excessive amounts of fluoride can accelerate joint and ligament aging and negatively affect bone growth. What is interesting about this is that early symptoms of fluoride poisoning mimics arthritis, which along with the incidence of hip fractures and bone cancer, has dramatically increased in today’s population. When you realize that exposure to fluoride has dramatically increased from when it was first introduced in the mid-1940’s, those increases are logical. Fluoride has also been shown to negatively affect the health of the:

• Thyroid gland;
• Kidneys;
• Brain and nervous system; and
• Immune system.

Why Add Fluoride to Drinking Water?

The previous section was only a brief description of the side effects of fluoride and as you can see, it isn’t very user friendly. This begs the question that if even small amounts of fluoride are so hazardous to one’s health, why would anyone want to put such a poisonous substance into a public water system?

I believe there are two answers to that question. The first was a well-intended effort to use fluoride as a type of vaccine that prevents tooth decay. I’m sure it sounded like a very noble idea to dentists and local governments at the time it was introduced, but its value and safety has not withstood the test of time—or science.

The second reason is more sinister because it involves finding a use for the large amounts of fluoride that is produced as a by-product of phosphate fertilizer production and aluminum production. I can just hear the marketing department of aluminum manufacturers trying to figure out a way to get rid of this highly poisonous substance and make some money in the process. Promoting it as an anti-decay product by putting it into municipal water systems was just the kind of profitable solution they were looking for. This group has always been a proponent of water fluoridation.

Fluoride and Tooth Decay

I wouldn’t be so critical of water fluoridation if fluoride wasn’t a poison and if it actually prevented tooth decay. But it is a poison and it doesn’t prevent tooth decay. It may reduce it in some people but it doesn’t prevent it. In addition, once the enamel crowns of the teeth has formed, usually by the age of 15, fluoridated water ceases to have a value in preventing tooth decay. Thus, any amount of fluoride you ingest is unnecessary and depending on how much water you take in, potentially a health hazard.

I also wouldn’t be so critical of fluoride use if everyone had a choice and it wasn’t forced upon people via their water supply. This takes on even more significance when you realize it serves no purpose after the age of 15, yet you are still forced to drink it—unless you choose to install a filter or buy purified water.

The only area where I feel fluoride has a value in preventing decay while eliminating its exposure to the body is dentally applied topical fluoride treatments. But with the advent of dental sealants to help reduce decay you now have another choice.

Fluoride: What it’s Supposed to Do and What it Actually Does

The difference in the amount of fluoride in the water that could reduce decay and the amount that could cause fluorosis (a disease of the teeth where excessive fluoride causes staining, brittle enamel, and enamel pitting called mottling) is extraordinarily small. For example, if:

• The amount of fluoride in the water exceeds 0.7 to 1.2 parts per million (The lower amount is used in hotter climates where people tend to drink more water and the higher in cooler climates where less water is consumed.);

• You drink lots of water (which many people do, especially active people);

• You drink higher quantities of water during the short period of time that the enamel of your permanent teeth is forming; from about the age of 2 to 15; and

• You receive fluoride from any other source, such as vegetables and sea food; then

You could develop fluorosis.

What Fluoride Doesn’t Do for You

You will have a decent chance of reducing tooth decay if you had ideal amounts of fluoride during the time the tooth’s enamel was forming. That’s the good news. (Keep in mind that the most vulnerable area of the tooth to decay is the grooves of the back teeth; et this is the area that fluoride provides the least protection to.)

But if:

• Fluoride in the water exceeds 1.2 parts per million;

• You drink more water than is considered average, such as what you’d drink on a hot day, or what an athlete would drink;

• Consume fruits and vegetables grown in areas where the natural water content of fluoride is high or the water is fluoridate; and

• You received extra fluoride from mouth washes, toothpaste, vitamins, or other sources; then

You will most likely experience fluorosis and other side affects of fluoride poisoning.

Fluorides Will Not Prevent Gum Disease

The truth is that fluoride doesn’t do anything to prevent gum disease and gum disease is the number one cause of tooth loss; not decay as most people believe. Even if you received exactly the right amount of fluoride, over the right period of time, and you experienced reduced tooth decay; you would still have to properly brush your gums to prevent gum disease.

So it doesn’t matter whether or not the water is fluoridated, you have to brush and floss your teeth in the same way, and just as often, to prevent gum disease as to prevent decay. Of course while you are taking care of your gums you would also be prevent tooth decaying, even if your water wasn’t fluoridated. The difference being that you can still effectively prevent all forms of dental disease if you have a sound oral hygienie program, but without risking the side effects of fluoride poisoning.

Even a Little Fluoride is Too Much Fluoride

It should be noted that people today are exposed to greater quantities of fluoride than they were 25 years ago. Twenty-five years ago, the major source of fluoride exposure was fluoridated water. Today, it is also found in mouthwash, toothpaste, rinses, tablets, and even vitamins. There is evidence that shows fluorosis has shown up in areas where the water isn’t fluoridated. I’ve no doubt that this is because they are receiving excessive amounts of fluoride from other sources mentioned above.

Thus the potential for fluoride poisoning has dramatically increased. The real problem we are facing is that no one knows how much fluoride each individual is getting. One person may drink 8 glasses of fluoridated water a day, brush with fluoridated toothpaste, and use fluoridated mouthwash. Another could drink 2 glasses of water and not use any other fluoridated dental products. As you can see, the variations are wide-ranging. Also keep in mind that if your water is fluoridated you will receive fluoride from the water used to make soups, tea, coffee, ice, and any other use of water in food preparation.

Another indirect source of fluoride is fruits and vegetables grown with fluoridated water. There is no way of knowing how much fluoride you may be getting from this source. In addition, hundreds of thousands of pounds of fluoride enter the ecology from water runoff containing fluoride. Each year it adds more and more fluoride to the ecosystem, poisoning live stock, lakes and waterways.

Is Fluoride a Health Hazard?

The answer to that question is is a big YES! Fluoride toxicity is definitely something to be aware of, especially in communities where the water is fluoridated or high levels of it are found naturally in the water. My suggestion is that if you’ve eliminated gum disease and mercury as contributor to any existing health problem, and your physician cannot seem to find the find the cause, you should check to see if your water contains fluoride and suggest he or she consider it as a potential cause.

There is no doubt that fluoride is a poison in very small amounts and for some it can be a serious health hazard and although it does relate to teeth, it’s not really an oral health issue. I see it as a public health issue, as the majority of fluoride you will be exposed to is delivered to the individual via the municipal water systems. Regardless of how it is delivered, fluoride is a poison, and increasing evidence suggests it can create, or contribute, to health problems.

What you have read here will serve to introduce you to the subject of fluoride and if you feel you would like to learn more about this subject, Tooth Fitness: Your Guide to Healthy Teeth covers fluoride in greater detail. It details the pros and cons of fluoride use and addresses all of the controversial aspects of this still controversial subject.

[Dr. Tom resides in Sebastopol, CA and is the author of the best-selling books, Healthy Teeth—Healthy Body: How to Improve Your Oral and Overall Health, The Poison in Your Teeth: Mercury Amalgam Fillings . . . Hazardous to Your Health, and Mercury Detoxification: The Natural Way to Remove Mercury from Your Body. He is a leading authority on mercury amalgam silver fillings, chronic mercury poisoning, mercury detoxification, and holistic dental wellness. Dr. Tom specializes in patient education and is available for phone consultations about topics within his area of expertise. He has the largest and most visited website of its kind, with over 350 pages of information. His website, www.dentalwellness4u.com has the largest database of mercury-free and mercury-safe dentists available on the Internet. You can contact his office at 1-800-335-7755.]

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Multiple Intelligences – Understanding Different Types of Learning Styles

Lin — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 11:00:02 +0000

Multiple Intelligences. No, I’m not talking about life-forms outside of Earth; I’m talking about the numerous ways that we, humans, learn new things by our different learning styles. I’ve only had 2 days of classes, and my Critical Thinking class feels more like a really fun Psychology class than anything else. I love psychology so, when it’s brought up in class, I get really excited.

We’re in our second week of school (out of 8 weeks) and we just read a chapter in the book that talks about Multiple Intelligences. There are 8 forms of dominant intelligences, 3 learning styles, and 8 personality styles – all which makes up the theory of Multiple Intelligences.

In 1983, Howard Gardner introduced the Multiple Intelligence Theory “as a model of intelligence that differentiates intelligence into various specific (primarily sensory) modalities, rather than seeing it as dominated by a single general ability.” (Wikipedia)

Here are the 8 Dominant Intelligences and what they each mean:

Visual/spatial- Picture smart- Thinks in pictures; Knows where things are in the house; loves to create images with pictures.

Verbal/Linguistic- Word smart- Communicates well through language; likes to write; good at spelling; great storyteller and loves to read.

Musical/Rhythm- Music smart- Loves to sing, hum and whistle; responds to music immediately; performs music

Logical/Mathematical- Number smart- Can easily conceptualize and reason; uses logic; good problem solving skills; loves math and science.

Body/Kinesthetic- Body smart- Learns through body sensations; moves around a lot; enjoys working with hands; some athletic ability

Interpersonal- People smart- Loves to communicate with people; great leadership skills; lots of friends; does extracurricular activities

Intrapersonal- Self smart- Deep awareness of own feelings; very reflective; requires time to be alone; no group activities

Naturalistic- Environment smart- Interest in environment and nature; recognizes plants, animals, rocks and cloud formations; may like camping, hiking and fishing.

There are various tests available to see what your Dominant Intelligence is, and how the others rank as well. My weakest happens to be verbal and then it’s Naturalistic; the others seem to be quite well-developed as I scored quite close in the rest of them despite having my strongest being Body/Kinesthetic.

The part that I found completely and truly fascinating was when it came to the 3 Learning Styles. Although the descriptions sound kind of like the 8 Dominant Intelligences, there is a difference.

So here are the 3 learning styles:

Visual Learning Style- Thinks in pictures; enjoys visual instructions and demonstrations; would rather read a text than listen to a lecture; avid note-taker; needs visual reference; likes charts and graphs.

Auditory Learning Style- Prefers verbal instructions; would rather listen than read; often tapes lectures; recites information out loud; enjoys talking and discussing issues and verbal stimuli; talks out problems.

Kinesthetic/Tactile Learning Style- Prefers a “hands-on” approach to learning; likes to take notes and uses a lot of scratch paper; learns best by “doing”; learns by moving; doesn’t concentrate well when sitting and reading.

The funny thing with the 3 Learning Styles for me is that I learn things by physically doing them, instead of watching someone else, but I also have a strong Visual Learning Style. I can’t sit in a class all day where the teacher is doing the lecture, I have to stay in my seat, and am expected to listen and understand what the teacher is saying. I have to move!

I can’t sit still for very long, and it can definitely be hard for me to concentrate when I’m just sitting down. I’m not exactly “easily distracted”, I just have to be doing something. So it’s quite interesting to see how these Learning Styles are incorporated into whom I am and how I learn, without me even realizing it.

I’m sure everyone knows about the 8 personality types (introvert, extrovert etc.). It’s also very important to see how your personality type either hinders or boosts your learning. It’s also important for teachers to know how each child/adult learns if they expect every child/adult in the classroom to really understand and comprehend what he/she is talking about in class.

Virtually my entire Critical Thinking class is all Body/Kinesthetic learners, so we learn best by “doing”, rather than just listening or watching. It’s important for my professor to know this so she knows how to reach each kid so they all understand.

It’s also good to know these things because it can and will affect your various jobs. One of my classmates said that he’s a good listener and likes to listen, but has a very difficult time following directions. It doesn’t mean, “Well then obviously you’re not a good listener”, because they might be the best listener you’ve ever met; just don’t give him/her directions on something.

They asked the Professor if she knew anything about it, and she was totally stumped – no one had asked that kind of question before. They ran their own test at home using a video game (that uses a lot of puzzles and requires you to follow directions before proceeding) to see why they have such a hard time following directions. They tried following the directions by repeating what they were told to do, in their head.

Ultimately they couldn’t figure out what to do and got frustrated. So they tried the same thing, but this time repeating the directions to them, but out loud. Surprisingly enough, they were able to do what the directions had said and were able to finally proceed. So they learned that they have an Auditory Learning Style.

I’m a have a very strong visual learning style. Like I said earlier, I can’t sit in class that does lectures and be expected to know what the teacher talked about before leaving the class. When I was in high school, that’s very much how high school was like. My math teacher would stand in front of the class, and lecture all day. Needless to say, I wasn’t doing very well in that class. I transferred to the local Alternative school so I could speed up my learning, and graduate high school before I was due to give birth to my daughter. The alternative school has teachers, just no lectures.

It was purely, “Here’s your packet of work, there’s your book. Do the work. If you can’t figure out from the book, THEN come ask me.” This was quite surprising to me. I felt confused at first, but yet so relieved that I wouldn’t have to waste my time listening to guy try to explain math to me in a way I wasn’t going to understand anyways. There was my packet, there was book, and there was my sweet grade. I passed the math class from the alternative school with a good grade (though I don’t remember what exactly it was). The math class I’m in right now (in college) is very much the same way. The teacher is there if you can’t figure things out on your own, but she doesn’t stand in front of class and explain math to me in a virtually foreign language.

Applying all of this to how I absorb information from work, as a new hire is quite funny. I worked as a waitress for over a year at a Mexican restaurant. My trainer handed me the menu and said, “Learn this.” Ok, I know I need to learn the menu if I’m going to be serving the food to people, but can you show me what this food is supposed to look like, too? I can’t learn my job if I’m just reading what I’m supposed to do. If it’s a serving job I’m doing, you better show me the food and tell me what’s in it, before you start quizzing me on the menu. I need to see the way it’s presented, and see what these weird ingredients are for me to know, “Oh, ok, that’s what that is!”

I always knew that was the case (I had to see, to know) but I didn’t realize how important it was in EVERYTHING I do; not just simply a waitressing job. If it’s a technical job, you better let me do it while your explaining it to me; don’t just say, “Ok watch what I’m doing,” and expect me to follow.

All of this stuff is/can be very valuable information to everyone. If you have young kids that are toddlers, watch them; see how they’re learning. If you know how your child learns, then it’ll be so much easier to communicate with them. When they did something wrong, do they need you to SHOW them what they did, or do they just need you to TELL them what they did? If they’re young enough that you can influence their learning styles, then that’s even better! Help them excel in all 3 learning styles so no matter HOW someone teaches new things to them, they’ll always be able to understand it.

Guest post written and submitted by Heather P. If you’re on Twitter, you can follow Heather P, and engage with her and fellow Hush Hush fans and Twilight book fans.

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10 Mistakes College Students Make When Going to College

Lin — Tue, 10 Jan 2012 11:00:03 +0000

If you have been to college, you likely have some regrets about things you wish you had done differently. If you are a current college student, there is so much you can learn from those who have come before you that could help you get the most value out of your college experience.

Whether choosing your major wisely, taking advantage of free programs for students, or networking with professionals who visit your campus, there are so many things that can give you an edge in a difficult economy. Below are ten common mistakes that college students make, and how you can avoid them and learn from the mistakes of others.

1. Many college students blindly choose a broad major because they have not decided what they want to do with their lives while others will opt for majors that have historically allowed people to find lucrative careers but aren’t the right fit for students. An example of this is the business degree, which continues to be popular but has lost prestige since the financial crisis. This doesn’t mean that students genuinely interested in business should shy away from the major; business-minded students must realize the broad scope of business curriculums, such as ones covered at MBA Online, before diving into the field of study. Simply doing a little research about a variety of majors, other than broad ones like business, can help most college students identify what it is that they they love to do and what can really lead to a career that is lucrative.

2. A second mistake that many college students make is not developing a relationship with their professors or taking advantage of office hours held by professors or their assistants. Office hours are offered by all professors and can help struggling students catch up, but can also help regular students excel and get the most out of their experience. Office hours can be very valuable, but they are a not top priority of many students.

3. College is fun, and having fun leads many students to select classes that are going to be easy and require little studying or test preparation. This can lead students into a vicious cycle of picking easy classes rather than challenging ones that will result in learning skills that make students marketable. Choosing a challenging and interesting schedule makes most students more marketable when searching for a career.

4. Colleges do a great job of exposing students to professionals and potential employers. However, many students do not take advantage of these opportunities and therefore, miss out on valuable opportunities. Whether it’s at career fairs or on campus interview opportunities, companies invest a lot of money and time into meeting potential employees on college campuses. By taking advantage of these opportunities, students may have an easier time finding a job upon graduation.

5. Every year, there is a lot of money that is left unused in the form of scholarships that were unclaimed. Many students do not do their due diligence in researching the money that may be available, and thus could lessen the financial burden of obtaining their degree. College students could potentially have hundreds of extra dollars in their pockets if they would just invest a little bit of time researching existing scholarships, applying, and collecting money for their educations.

6. Students often do not see their peers as a valuable part of their post-graduation network. There are many ways to leverage your peers, not just your superiors, to find a job, or get tips on how to interview successfully. If students would take advantage of their student network, they would likely have an easier time finding a job and would learn from each others’ mistakes in the job search process.

7. Many students believe that it is necessary to get a degree from a big name college rather than a community college near their home town. Often, employers do not care which institution is on your degree, but rather how you applied yourself when obtaining that degree. Therefore, if your budget only allows you to attend a community college while working or living at home with your parents, consider doing that if even for a couple of years before spending too much time and money at a large, and probably expensive, school.

8. Many students underestimate the value of making good grades in high school, and how that can affect the schools to which you can apply or what your college experience will entail. Therefore, start early focusing on making good grades and building a resume that will surely impress any potential admissions board or employer.

9. Many students go to college and end up spending time with people they already know rather than branching out and experiencing a diverse culture that most college campuses offer. By branching out and meeting new people, students can learn from the experiences of others and determine what qualities in others are important when seeking a career or trying to be successful in school. Branch out!

10. Many students trade in a life of valuable extra-curricular activities through which they could gain valuable leadership experience for a life of partying with their friends and being king on the social scene. There is definitely a time in college to be social and have fun, but there is also value in finding an activity in which you excel or that you enjoy, and thriving in it. Whether it is leading a bible study or other study group, holding a leadership position in your sorority or fraternity, or leading a student organization, employers will be looking for extra-curricular activities beyond hanging out with the local barkeep.

As you can see, there are lots of mistakes that most college students make that could cost them precious value in their degrees. By avoiding these mistakes, college students would be more successful and have a much better change at a lucrative career with a good company or firm.

Guest Article: Marina Salsbury planned on becoming a teacher since high school, but found her way instead into online writing after college. She currently writes on a variety of topics, but always seems to veer back to education-related articles.

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