Telling It Like It IsDating »

101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples

Lin — Wed, 12 Aug 2009 11:00:38 +0000

This is a guest book review by Dr Michelle Gannon, a Psychologist/Relationship Expert in private practice in San Francisco. She is also the founder of Award Winning Marriage Prep 101 Workshops with her husband, Dr Patrick Gannon www.MarriagePrep101.com. You can find her on Twitter.com/DrMichellexo

Book Review: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex by Laura Corn.

Many couples begin their relationship with the anticipation and excitement of a new romantic and sexual partner. In the beginning, most people find their sex lives pleasurable, exciting and interesting enough. When we fall in love, we release the feel good hormone called dopamine.

When we are sensual and sexual, we release the bonding hormone called oxytocin. So the good news is that the early years are fueled by both dopamine and oxytocin. However, these hormones wear off over time.

Also, the daily pressure and stress of working, raising children, dealing with finances and taking care of so many tasks can take a toll on one’s interest in sex and love making. If you think about it, it also makes sense that making love the same way to the same person year after year could get a little routine, mundane and even boring.

The good news is that couples can reclaim their sexual relationship, and even re-invent it to be more playful and exciting.

As a Psychologist and Couples Therapist, I often get asked by individuals and couples for book recommendations of how to improve their sex lives. Over the years, I have found that many sex books are just too serious and technical, emphasizing the need to try new positions and “work” at their sexual relationship.

My clients have complained, “I would never do that”, “Even a new position doesn’t really help”, “Tantra is so not me” and so on. They feel like their sex lives are just too predictable and not much fun. They miss the feelings of seduction, pursuit, anticipation and excitement of the early years.

Since I work with couples of all stages of relationships, I have been motivated to find a book to recommend that truly helps couples “PLAY” at their sex lives, rather than “WORK” at them.

So, here it is: “101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples” by Laura Corn. The book comes with 101 Sealed Seductions. Every week, each partner flips through the book, and then tears out the page for truly fun ideas about how to seduce each other. The sexual “recipes” are playful and secret, and often require some planning and anticipation.

When couples find that their current lovemaking is predictable, these suggestions can easily help them come up with fresh, new and exciting ideas. There is a wide range of suggestions from “Body Tease” to “Dip it in Chocolate” to “Kissing Only” to “Wet and Wetter” and many more. Some are spicier than others, and you can always decline and pick another one.

Some couples even find it erotic and silly to rip the pages together, read them aloud to each other, and improvise. I recommend this book for all couples- from newlyweds to long term married. Just be sure to keep this book hidden in a special place!

Similar Posts:

How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

Lin — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 11:00:16 +0000

This is a guest post by Lissa at Owning Pink, a website and a series of women’s workshops committed to empowering women to reclaim their health, their girlytude, and their mojo.

When Lin asked me to write about how to make love to a woman, I felt myself blush. After all, I’m a gynecologist, not a sexpert. Wouldn’t she be better served by asking some Casanova or, better yet, a lesbian? As the founder of Owning Pink: A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back (www.owningpink.com), I’m all about helping women embrace joy and get in touch with their authentic selves. But, how to please a woman in bed? Hmmm. My husband and I were just in the bedroom last night, working on making our own sex life a bit more exciting, so I can honestly say I’m no sexual rock star.

However, after thinking about it for a while I realized, to my surprise, that after ten years of working with women and teaching women’s workshops, I guess I have learned a thing or two on the topic. So if you’re aiming to satisfy a woman in the sack, we girls beg you, pay attention.

20 Tips For Making a Woman Quiver

1. Every woman is different. If your super-duper signature technique had your last girlfriend hanging from the chandeliers and bellowing out to Mother Mary, good for you. But don’t expect the same thing to work on your new lover. Our bodies- and needs- vary drastically. One size does not fit all.

2. A woman’s body is like an old beater car in subzero weather. It takes a while to warm her up. Don’t expect a warm welcome if you go from zero to sixty straight to her coochie. Foreplay will take you far. Our bodies sometimes need a little coaxing. So often we live completely in our heads. Our minds are spinning with thoughts about work, the kids, and tomorrow’s to-do list. If you help bring us into our bodies by arousing different erogenous zones, like the ears, the lips, the breasts, the inner thigh, the belly button, even the toes, you help remind us that our bodies can offer pleasure if we only inhabit them.

3. Love her and earn her trust. For most women, sex and love get all tangled. Not to say there aren’t some Samantha’s out there who love to just get it on. But for most of us, we see sex as an expression of love, and if we don’t feel nurtured by you, we may not get all hot and bothered when you want to shake the sheets. Love her well and earn her trust. Pleasure will likely follow.

4. Set the mood in the bedroom. Surprise her with candles, mood music, and a flower on her pillow. Whisper sweet nothings. Don’t serve up silly platitudes, but say what you feel. When we cover our bellies with our hands and try to turn off the light, tell us we’re beautiful, just the way we are. Share how much you care. Romance gets her in the mood and helps her relax.

5. Know a woman’s anatomy. Need help? Take the Pretty Pink Pussy Tour (http://www.owningpink.com/2009/05/05/the-pretty-pink-pussy-tour-your-vulva-vagina-and-you/)

6. Think sensually, not sexually. Immerse yourself in the sensory experience of her and find your own timing together.

7. Give your partner permission to offer feedback, and don’t take it personally. If your partner doesn’t respond to something you’re doing, it doesn’t reflect on your skill as a lover. It just doesn’t work for her unique anatomy and physiology. If you act dejected every time she offers you feedback, she’s likely to stop trying to help you please her. Accept constructive criticism lovingly.

8. Fine tune your radar. Even if you invite your partner to offer feedback, she may not feel comfortable talking about sex. Many of us have been so conditioned to consider sex taboo that we clam up when the subject arises. Learn to read your partner’s subtle signals, and over time, you will discover what pleases her. Little grunts and moans usually signal YES, and while silence may simply signal shyness, it may also mean that what you’re doing isn’t working for her. Pay attention to body language too. When she moves towards you, it’s a good sign, and if she adjusts her body to a different angle, she might be trying to show you where she wants you to be.

9. Be gentle and go slow. There’s no race to the finish line here. Remember how sensitive girl parts are. Don’t mash on us (unless we ask you too! We are, after all women. We might change our minds). Start slow, then gently pick up the pace as you go. Don’t start bangin’ us around like you’re trying to get to home base before we’ve even gotten up to bat. You may get sprung in 10 seconds flat, but chances are, we’re still thinking about how little Johnny’s teacher thinks he needs a reading tutor, or whether we’re prepared for that big presentation at work tomorrow. Be patient with us and our monkey minds.

10. Do not take it personally if your lover doesn’t orgasm during intercourse. Some lucky women get off from the mere thought of intercourse, but the majority of women do not experience orgasm through intercourse alone. If you expend so much energy trying to make her cum while you’re having intercourse, you may miss the rich opportunity to satisfy her in other ways. Sure, try your darnedest to please your woman. But don’t pressure her. Many women will not orgasm during intercourse, even with the most skilled partner.

11. There may or may not be a G-Spot. While some women swear by the G-Spot and experience vaginal orgasms, most women can only orgasm during intercourse if they’ve figured out a way to directly stimulate the clitoris. For more about stimulating the G-spot, check out The G-Spot: Fact or Fiction (http://www.owningpink.com/2009/07/30/owning-sexuality-the-g-spot-fact-or-fiction/).

12. Pull out the Kama Sutra. No need to focus all your energy on making her orgasm during intercourse, but why not try? Check out some books about sexual positions and have fun experimenting, like 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples by Laura Corn. You never know what might hit the spot for your lover. Be creative.

13. NEVER EVER compare her to another woman. I don’t care what the hell Jane or Sally or Maryanne liked in bed, and neither does your lover. If you think about other women when you’re making love to yours, please- for the love of God- keep your thoughts to yourself.

14. Most women love oral sex. To a woman, it just doesn’t get much better than this. Soft, wet tongue meets delicate pink pearl? Can you hear us purr? We love it even more if we think you do too. Start gently. Explore the inner thighs, the labia, the opening to the vagina. When her body language indicates that she’s ready, lick, suck, and swirl her clitoris in circles, mixed with up and down motions. Use your hands to explore the rest of her.

15. Help your partner out. If you lover prefers to orgasm during intercourse, stimulate her first with oral sex to help sensitize her delicate organs. Encourage her to explore positions that stimulate her clitoris, such as the woman-on-top position. Use your hands to touch her while you’re having intercourse, or invite her to touch herself. She knows best what feels good, and if you tell her how much it turns you on to see her touch herself, she may feel more comfortable augmenting her own pleasure.

16. Just because you’re done, doesn’t mean she is. If your orgasm is over, don’t assume hers is too. Maybe she was holding out so she could orgasm during intercourse, but if you cum before she does, no stress. Just finish the job and help her feel as good as you do.

17. Invite her favorite sex toy into the bedroom. Did you see what happened to Charlotte from Sex and the City when she discovered The Rabbit? Don’t make her go undercover with her vibrator. The sex toys are your friends, not your competition. Let them stimulate both of you, and encourage her to explore.

18. Get Tantric or explore Taoist sexuality. Want to elevate your lovemaking to a spiritual plane? Check out Tantric or Taoist sexuality. (http://www.ofspirit.com/rachelcarltonabrams1.htm)

19. Remember that sex is meant to be about making love. Don’t get so focused on technique that you forget to connect. Look deep into her eyes. Caress her lovingly. Tell her how you feel. Hug her. Love her.

20. Cuddle when it’s over. Please don’t jump up and go watch the game. We make ourselves vulnerable, put ourselves out there, and want to know you’re still with us when it’s over. Snuggle in and stick around a while.

Read A Pink Guide to Orgasm for more about women and orgasms.

Ladies, have I missed anything? Now is your chance to tell the guys if they’re “doing it right” (or not) by adding your tips on improving sex in the bedroom in the comment section below.

Similar Posts:

Allen Birthing Center, Dallas Midwife Birthing Options, American Association Birth Centers

Lin — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 12:00:21 +0000

The Allen Birthing Center, located in historic downtown Allen Texas, is the birthing center my daughter chose to deliver her baby in May 2009. Allen Birthing Center is a free-standing birth center, staffed by 3 experienced and highly-educated certified nurse-midwives (CNMs), offering prenatal care, labor support, delivery and exam of the newborn, postpartum care, well-woman exams, family planning, and primary care.

As soon as my daughter learned about her pregnancy, she had what seemed like a million questions and fears for a first-time mother, which is understandable. We discussed birthing options, the average cost of delivering a baby in a hospital vs. a birthing center or homebirth, pros and cons of each option etc, so she could make an informed choice for herself and her baby.

I was very careful to just explain the facts of each option because I didn’t want her to feel any pressure or influence from me about how or where to have her baby. Just because I chose the home birth option to deliver her and her older brother, and hospital births for my first four children, doesn’t mean she should make the same choice I did.

My daughter asked me, “If you could do it all over again, which option would you choose now?” I had to be honest and tell her that if I had known years ago about certified midwives, birthing centers and homebirth options, I would have chosen to give birth to each of my children at home. The differences between laboring and delivering a baby in a hospital vs. delivering at home or at a birthing center for low-risk pregnancies are huge.

I suggested she check out Ricki Lake’s Business of Being Born documentary, and explained that she needed to create a birth plan where she would list her personal preferences for labor and delivery, including how and where she would decide to give birth. I also explained that she needed to decided whether or not she wanted pain medication or an epidural for pain relief during labor, because that would have everything to do with where she would labor and deliver her baby.

After doing a considerable amount of research into Dallas/Collin County birthing centers and midwifery, she and the baby’s father decided to tour the Allen Birthing Center and interview the certified midwives, Rebecca “Becky” Burpo, Lana Amelia “Amy” Giles and Elizabeth “Betty” Hoffman, to get answers to their questions from the experts.

The Allen Birthing Center’s philosophy about childbirth is equal to that of my daughter and the baby‘s father – that birth is a normal process that needs very little intervention, but support and encouragement throughout their pregnancy, labor and delivery would be provided, ensuring their personal natural childbirth choices were respected.

My daughter did not want an epidural or any pain medications at all during labor, and she was thrilled with the prospect of being able to move around freely at the birthing center during labor vs. staying flat on her back in a hospital labor room, as well as the waterbirth option if she so chose. Knowing that the Allen Birthing Center works in close cooperation with nearby hospitals reassured her even more, just in case something unplanned or unforeseen were to occur and she needed to be rushed to the hospital for an emergency c-section.

In order to find Texas birth centers and midwives in our area, we checked out the Association of Texas Midwives (ATM) and the American Association of Birth Centers (AABC) website for listings by state and county. Allen Birthing Center is the only natural birth center in all of Collin County, but I found a total of 12 birthing centers in Texas:

Allen Birthing Center
406 West Main Street
Allen, TX 75013
Tel. 214-495-9911
Website: www.allenbirthingcenter.com
Contact: Rebecca Burpo, Director

Birth and Women’s Center
3100 Swiss Ave
Dallas, TX 75204
Tel. 214-821-8190
Website: www.birthcenter.net
Contact: Cherie Boettcher, Director

Gentle Beginnings Birth Center
1817 Harwood Court
Hurst, TX 76054
Tel. 817-479-0124
Website: http://www.gentlebeginningsbc.com
Contact: Ann Crowell

Inanna Birth & Women’s Care
1823 N Locust Street
Denton, TX 76201
Tel. 940-483-1569
Website: http://www.inannabirth.com
Contact: Jean Sala, Owner

Special Beginnings
513 W Church Street
Grand Prairie, TX 75050
Tel. 972-642-3446
Website: http://www.special-beginnings.com
Contact: Betty Winford

North Houston Birth Center
7007 N. Freeway #435
Houston, TX 77076
Tel. 713-699-4211
Website: http://www.northhoustonbirthcenter.com
Contact: Kathleen Vande Giessen, CNM

Reunion Women’s Health & Birth Center
201 Kingwood Medical Drive # B 300
Kingwood, TX 77339
Tel. 281-359-2229
Website: www.reunionmidwives.com
Contact: Janet Little, Midwife/Owner

Bay Area Birth Center
3210 Strawberry Road
Pasadena, TX 77504
Tel. 713-472-5525
Website: http://www.houstonbirthcenter.com
Contact: Jackie Griggs, Director

Rite of Passage Women’s Health & Birth Center
2206 E Broadway, Ste E
Pearland, TX 77581
Tel. 281-485-2886
Website: www.pearlandbirthcenter.com
Contact: Bernadette Olivier, Director/Owner

Lovers Lane Birth Center at Cottonwood
304 S Cottonwood Suite A
Richardson, TX 75080
Tel. 214-366-3579
Website: http://www.dallasmidwife.com
Contact: Dinah Waranch, Owner

San Antonio Birth Center
7272 Wurzbach #101
San Antonio, TX 78240
Tel. 210-593-0462
Website: http://www.birthcentersa.com
Contact: Nicole Voge, Office Manager

Nativiti Women’s Health & Birth Center
26614 Oakridge Dr
The Woodlands, TX 77380
Tel. 281-296-2333
Website: www.nativiti.com
Contact: Melanie Dossey, Director/Owner

My daughter’s labor and delivery at the Allen Birthing Center went very well. Her labor lasted 10 1/2 hours, which is pretty darn good for a first-timer, and she went from 6cm to 10cm (complete) in just 40 minutes! She had quite a bit of back labor, which can be extra painful if you’re stuck laying flat on your back in a hospital labor room for the doctors and nurses convenience, but she didn’t so much as whimper, cry or scream during any of her labor pains. She’s a tough cookie! She was able to walk around at will, have her back massaged by the baby’s father, stand/sit in the shower with strong water flow massaging her sore back and eventually moved to deliver her baby girl by waterbirth in the tub.

Each of the two birthing suites at the Allen Birthing Center are very comfortable and decorated beautifully, and the website provides photos of the birth center inside and out for expectant mothers to check out before scheduling a free consultation visit and tour. The total cost of pre-natal care, labor, delivery and aftercare for both mother and baby was only $4750.00 – PLUS they file medical insurance for patients – and they even allow payment plans. What’s not to like about a birthing center staffed by phenomenal experienced midwives, and a cost that even young expectant parents can manage to afford on their own? My daughter said that if she chooses to have any more children, that she’ll definitely use a birthing center and midwives again, and may even decide on a homebirth.

Similar Posts:

How to Be a Good Son-In-Law: Building a Great Son-In-Law Relationship With Your In-Laws

Lin — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 10:00:06 +0000

This is a guest post from Jeff Nickles at My Super-Charged Life, where he shares tips, motivation and resources for living life to the fullest.

Guys, did you know that there is more to being married than just getting along with your wife? Generally, a woman’s family is important to her. She doesn’t just want you to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law and father-in-law. She needs it. Ladies, am I wrong here?

The Case for Becoming a Good Son-In-Law

Men, your wife needs you to be a good son-law and to blend into her family. Yes, she is, in a sense, leaving them behind when she gets married to start her own family with you. But, she is going to need their support and encouragement along the way. Trust me, your relationship with your wife will grow deeper and be easier if you develop a great son-in-law relationship with your in-laws.

Furthermore, I suggest that it is in your best interest as well. I know that having a terrific relationship with my in-laws has been a true blessing for me. Their love and support of me and my family has been invaluable over the years. For example, they were there for us when an F-5 tornado destroyed our home. In another instance, my mother-in-law took care of our newborn daughter when my wife had to go back to the hospital for a week. I don’t know what we would have done if my in-laws weren’t so willing to help in these situations.

Having children creates a whole other reason to build a great relationship with your in-laws. Grandparents are very important to a child’s sense of well-being. They add depth and security to the loving relationships surrounding a child. The better your relationship is with your in-laws, the easier it is going to be for them to grow close and be a positive role model for your children. This is a valuable gift that you can give your kids that will serve them the rest of their lives.

I hope I have convinced you of the advantages of having a great relationship with your mother- and father-in-law. They are special people to your wife and kids. Your family needs them and therefore so do you. Fortunately, son-in-laws don’t usually have the difficulties forming good relationships with their in-laws like many daughter-in-laws do. However, there are still some points worth mentioning that I believe will help you in this endeavor.

How to Build a Great Son-In-Law Relationship With Your In-Laws

Respect their daughter and take good care of her. Daughters are very special to their parents. I should know because I have two of them. My wife and I have invested our whole hearts in loving and nurturing our daughters to become excellent young women. I have even created a list of things I want to teach my daughters to be successful in life. After giving so much, I want to know that the men that marry my daughters will be gentle with them, respect their opinions, provide them a sense of security and above all love them faithfully. It will be a lot easier for me to love my son-in-law when I know he loves her as deeply as I do.
Be there when their daughter needs you. I shouldn’t even have to mention this one, but we’ve all heard stories about men missing the birth of their child due to some foolish thing. Her parents will love you if they know their daughter comes first in your life. I know that my relationship with my in-laws has grown as they’ve witnessed me caring for their daughter when she was in the hospital.
Act and look like a respectable man. Don’t embarrass your in-laws by acting and dressing like an idiot. There comes a time in a man’s life where he needs to grow up. There is a time and a place for everything. Act appropriately around your in-laws. Get a sense of what they think is acceptable and then conduct yourself accordingly if you want to build a meaningful relationship with them.
Reach out to your father-in-law. The relationship between a father and a daughter is special. It will mean a lot to your wife and your mother-in-law if you can build a relationship with your father-in-law. Find things that you have in common with him and go from there. Invite him to a ball game, go with him to a local event or simply take him to lunch. If you aren’t yet married, then be sure to ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage before you pop the question. This is a show of respect that he will appreciate.
Attend family gatherings and engage. When your wife’s family has a get together, make certain that you attend. Unless it is unavoidable, never let your wife and children go to a holiday gathering at her parent’s house alone. It causes your in-laws to worry that something might be wrong in your marriage. In addition, you are missing a fantastic opportunity to build upon your relationship with your in-laws and the extended family through conversation and a shared experience.
Build good relationships with their other children. I believe that part of my success in building a great relationship with my in-laws has a lot to do with how I’ve connected with the rest of the family. Your wife’s siblings have a great deal of influence with your in-laws. The better the relationship you have with her brothers and sisters, the better your relationship will be with her parents.
Consult with your wife on how to handle sticky situations. Your wife knows her parents better than you do. When you sense that a situation might be a little sensitive, consult with your wife for advice on how to respond. My father-in-law used to be big in multi-level marketing programs. I knew he was going to try to recruit me and I didn’t want anything to do with it. I asked my wife how to handle it. She was able to help me diffuse the situation before it became an issue.

Becoming a great son-in-law that your in-laws love has a lot to do with respect. If you want a great relationship with them, then respect their daughter, respect them and respect their family. Be polite. After all, being nice is good for you.

As a son-in-law, you have a responsibility to build a great relationship with your in-laws. Your wife and family are counting on you to do so. You have to learn to become a part of her family and to maintain a balance between the demands of your family and hers. This is a worthwhile cause that you definitely want to invest yourself in whole-heartedly. It has certainly been worth it to me!

Read more of Jeff’s articles about living life to the fullest at My Super-Charged Life!

(Photo by ladyb)

Similar Posts:

Do Men Want To Get Married? Top Ten Reasons Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

Lin — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 12:00:47 +0000

Do men want to get married, or not? “Do Men Really Want to Get Married” is the question being discussed in a CNN article about whether the stereotypical belief that men are dragged off to the altar to get married kicking and screaming is true or not. CNN reporter, Alex Wallen, claims to have interviewed dozens of men on how they approached marriage, where these men admitted that they had “fantasized about popping the question, getting married, even having a wedding.”

Wallen reports that numerous men reported having a “light-switch” moment when they decided they should get married to their significant other. Examples given include a life-altering event, such as one man who suddenly realized his love for his girlfriend when she helped him deal with the death of his father; or it might be something as simple as having so much fun playing arcade games together that you can’t imagine yourself having this much fun with anyone else. One man decided it was time to get married when he became angry and balled-up his fists when another man made a pass at his then-girlfriend.

“Real men are perceived as committing “till death do us part” for the wrong reasons — they marry out of convenience or under duress, and they acquiesce, kicking and screaming all the way to the altar”, according to the article. If recent statistics are correct, men are choosing to marry later in life, with the average age being 28 before experiencing their “ah ha” moment, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, there are still many young men and women getting married too young, and far too many couples get married for the wrong reasons and end up regretting it later.

According to one survey claiming men DO want to get married, married men reported positive feelings about being married, with 94% saying they were happier married than single, and 73% reported their sex lives were better. Of the single men included in the study, 53 percent said they were not interested in getting married anytime soon, saying “at this stage in my life I want fun and freedom”, while 47 percent said they wouldn’t get married until they could afford to own a home.

“Of the 1,010 men aged 25-34 who were surveyed, 569 were married. Of that group, 81 percent said they got married “because it was the right time to settle down.” The desire to have children was a major factor for 35 percent; only 15 percent said they married sooner than they wished because of pressure from their partner.”

Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

Another study was conducted by the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University of 60 single, heterosexual men of different backgrounds, between the ages of 25-33. The project results revealed the top ten reasons why men won’t commit, or don’t want to get married.

They can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past.
They can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabitating rather than marrying.
They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.
They want to wait until they are older to have children.
They fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises.
They are waiting for the perfect soul mate and she hasn’t appeared yet.
They face few social pressures to marry.
They are reluctant to marry a woman who already has children.
They want to own a house before they get a wife.
They want to enjoy single life for as long as possible.

These findings may not be what women want to hear or believe, but relationship experts agree with the results of the study. Audrey Chapman, author of Getting Good Loving and Man Sharing, agrees with the study’s detailed findings that the sexual revolution hasn’t exactly helped women wanting to get married in their search for finding a husband.

“All that stuff that grandma said about `Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?’ is true. Women are making it too easy for men. They’re giving sex away.”

“Now that there’s more competition, women think that sex is the ticket to get a man when in fact it’s a sure fire way not to get him at all,” Chapman reveals.

“When men get lonely, all they have to do is call up one of their many women. And they call the one that they’re going to be able to spend the night with.”

“She says that nowadays it is common for many men to have a variety of women to cater to their various needs, including sex, companionship, conversation and even meals. “Men can get all the comforts they need without making it legal.”

It’s interesting that Steve Harvey’s book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man, says much the same thing but it’s not what women interested in planning their wedding want to hear. It’s not about getting someone to marry you; love and marriage is not a game. It’s about finding the right person, at the right time and under the right circumstances so the marriage will be lifelong. Maybe some men don’t want to get married, now or ever. I would venture to say that there are women who also don’t want to get married and never will.

Wilmington, DE, psychologist Dr. Alvin L. Turner says, “As children, men don’t fantasize about being married–girls do. It takes a while for us to begin to appreciate that marriage is valuable for us and not just for women. It’s easy to see that marriage happens when you fall in love with someone, but even then many men will marry because they want to keep the woman from marrying someone else. So it becomes a way of protecting their investment basically rather than looking at it as something that’s valuable for themselves.”

William July II, author of “Understanding the Tin Man: Why So Many Men Avoid Intimacy” says this to women: “I can’t emphasize enough how important it is for women to accept the point at which a man says he currently is in his life because that determines his entire outlook on everything. If he’s ready, marriage sounds great. If he’s not, it sounds like a prison sentence. It’s better to couple with a man who feels ready than to try to ‘make ready’ a man.”

What about you? If you are a married man, what was your “ah ha” moment where you knew you wanted to get married to your girlfriend? If you are a single man, what are your thoughts on marriage? Ladies, what do you think about the idea that men really don’t want to get married but feel pressured in various ways to tie the knot?

If you liked this article, consider a FREE subscription to Telling It Like It Is by email or RSS feed.

Similar Posts:

Mother Of The Bride Dresses, Special Occasion Dresses, Cheap Bridesmaids Dresses

Lin — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 00:36:50 +0000

Are you shopping for Mother-of-the-Bride dresses, special occasion dresses, affordable Bridesmaid Dresses or Wedding Dresses for an upcoming wedding? Although I’m not the mother of the bride, but am the step-mother of the bride who is getting married soon, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find a special occasion dress to wear to the wedding.

Until now, it hadn’t occurred to me how time-consuming it would be going from one special occasion dress shop to the next in hopes of finding the perfect dress, in the right color, style and size to wear. The price of some modern, unique, beautiful Mother of the Bride Dresses that were also age-appropriate nearly caused me to keel over and faint.

Special Occasion Dresses

In some local dress shops I visited, the cost of special occasion dresses for a wedding was almost the same as a designer wedding dress for an expensive and extravagant Cinderella wedding! Fortunately, there are Cheap Bridesmaid Dresses that come in every color, style, length and size that won’t break the bank.

I did spend a few days checking out the local special occasion dress shop sections in stores like JCPenney, Dillards, Nordstrom, as well as local discount bridal consignment shops, but I didn’t find anything I liked. When I was looking for a prom dress for my daughter, I went to a bridal/prom store in Dallas called “Whatchamacallit” that has thousands of dresses, but if you’re not a professional seamstress who can fix the fraying threads, missing buttons, broken zippers and other problems, you’d be wasting your time there.

I do almost all of my shopping online, and buying a special occasion dress online is no different. I always check the sizing charts and usually buy a dress one size larger than my normal size to leave room for alterations that are almost always necessary. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all dress, unless you don’t mind your dress looking like a tent or potato sack with rhinestones or sequins sewn on.

Bridesmaid Dresses-Junior Bridesmaid Dresses

I was happily surprised at how many amazing after six bridesmaids dresses I saw online that would actually work very well as a special occasion dress for a mother-of-the-bride, or for the mother-of-the-groom (or any other special occasion), and are very inexpensive.

I liked several online bridal dress shops, with their huge selection of wedding dresses and bridesmaids dresses, including knee-length, floor-length or “after five” tea-length, but I had my heart set on a black full-length gown, and some dresses I liked only came in pink, purple, brown or blue.

A very interesting trend I’ve seen only recently is that of red wedding dresses for a red themed wedding, and some of the red wedding gowns would work very nicely as mother of the bride dresses too! Red is my favorite color and when I think of brides wearing red for their wedding, mixed perhaps with black and white, the entire wedding party must look spectacular!

My favorite dress shop to find bridesmaid dresses, junior bridesmaid dresses and special occasion dresses is at House of Brides, which is the world’s largest online wedding store. The selection, prices, colors and styles just can’t be beat. I found a nice pair of black shoes to go with my dress there too, and anytime I can find a one-stop-shop for nearly everything I need that also offers a 40% discount and free shipping, I look no further.

I knew I wanted a light-weight, full-length black dress to match the wedding color theme of black and white, with short sleeves or sleeveless, because summer weddings in Texas can be unbearably hot and I want to be as comfortable as possible.

I finally decided on a black, sleeveless special occasion dress with rhinestones on the bodice. I also bought a matching black “shawl” to wear around my arms and shoulders, instead of a fancy black jacket, for when the cooler evening temperatures set in.

Tip: Wedding gowns, bridesmaid dresses and special occasion dresses or pantsuits are usually made a size or two smaller than your normal dress size, so be prepared for that shock. Full-figured or big-busted women may find they have to shop for special occasion womens dresses in the plus-size departments due to the sizing differences.

Now that I have the dress and shoes for the wedding as well as for the reception dances, all I need now is a small black purse and some jewelry accessories to complete the outfit, and I’ll be all set! I’m not worried though, because I saw a magnificent set of earrings and matching bracelet at House of Brides that I’ve already ordered and they should be arriving any day now.

What about you? Are you the mother-of-the-bride or groom struggling to find an affordable special occasion dress for the wedding? What has been your personal experience while trying to find a special occasion dress? Have you seen the incredible selection of bridesmaid dresses and junior bridesmaid dresses at House of Brides? Aren’t they amazing?! Share your story or ask a question in the comments below.

If you enjoyed this article, you will enjoy post updates with a FREE subscription to Telling It Like It Is.

Similar Posts:

How to Be a Good Daughter-In-Law: Building a Great Daughter-In-Law Relationship With Your Mother-In-Law

Lin — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 12:00:47 +0000

“Daughter-In-Laws from hell”? Are you a good daughter-in-law to your husband’s mother, or soon to be mother-in-law? Can you honestly say to yourself, “I am a good daughter-in-law”? Being a good daughter-in-law and building a great relationship with your husband’s mother, and maintaining that good relationship, can be easier than you think or more challenging and difficult than you could ever imagine.

Ever since I wrote How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law, I’ve been inundated with emails from mothers who describe their current or future daughter-in-law as the daughter-in-law from hell; jealous; selfish; manipulative; controlling; disrespectful; rude; conniving; evil and psychotic, just to name a few not-so-nice descriptive words about daughter-in-laws.

Some mothers used “daughter-in-law hates me” and “I hate my daughter-in-law” in the email subject line to describe the difficulties and animosity felt between the mother and daughter-in-law. A few mothers wrote about their relationship problems with a son-in-law as well, but the typical problems existing between mothers and daughter-in-laws are much more common than those with a current or future son-in-law.

I’ll be dealing with the issues of being a good son-in-law in an upcoming article, but for now let’s just stick with you, the daughter-in-law.

Mother-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law Problems

After reading and responding to many emails, as well as visiting websites, message boards and
online support groups where mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws complain about each other and their problems, it became obvious to me that there is a tremendous amount of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, hyper-sensitivity and mean-spirited gossip being said about each other. But rarely any advice or real solutions being shared.

Based on the complaints posted on those sites, it became apparent to me that most daughter-in-laws are not evil or cruel, but are misguided and feel threatened. Daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws are both guilty of not even attempting to understand the others wants, needs and perspective, but are very quick to criticize and ridicule the other.

Members of various support groups for daughter-in-laws have even linked to my leave and cleave article, taking words out of context, in an extreme attempt to prove their personal opinion that communication with mother-in-laws (and sometimes father-in-laws) should be cut to a bare minimum if not completely eliminated.

Now you just wait a cotton-pickin’ minute! If that is your position, you’ve missed the whole point of that entire article and are twisting the meaning of leaving and cleaving for your own selfish reasons, and your attempts to get rid of your mother-in-law will come back to bite you in the end.

Trouble between a daughter-in-law and mother-in-law arises far too often when one or both thinks the other is out to get them, which is not necessarily true. The mother-in-law and daughter-in-law both want the same thing! Time spent with the son! Problems between the MIL/DIL (Mother-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law) often occur when one or both women try to get their needs met by attempting to exclude the other from even the simplest things in life.

One mother emailed me about how hurt she felt by not being included in any of the decisions about the wedding plans or budget for her son and soon to be daughter-in-law’s wedding, despite the fact that this mother is expected to pay more than half of the wedding costs!

Daughter-In-Law Do’s and Don’ts

Remember, your husband was a son to his mother first, and the relationship bond between mother and son should never be trifled with. The harder you try to divide and conquer the relationship between your husband and his mother, the more you will discover that you’ve undermined any and all efforts to get along with your in-laws and will cause your husband and his family to resent you.
Don’t take everything so personal. Taking every suggestion, recommendation or idea offered as always being a negative against you suggests the existence of very low self-esteem on your part. Why do you choose to take everything so personal? A mother emailed me about her excitement about becoming a grandmother for the first time and how she made a few harmless baby name suggestions, only to receive an email from her daughter-in-law that such suggestions are not wanted or welcomed. What?!
The relationship with the son is not a competition. He married you because he loves you and wants to spend the rest of his life with you. In a marriage, a husband must put his wife as number one in the relationship, but don’t make the mistake of putting your husband in a position of having to defend his relationship with his mother. If setting limits and boundaries are needed on how often your mother-in-law calls to speak to your husband or visits, it is up to your husband to decide and act on that, not yours.
Communication is key. Take the initiative to call and chat with your mother-in-law with news and updates, even if you think it’s about mundane, trivial matters. Remember birthdays, anniversaries, holidays and special occasions, just as I bet you want your mother-in-law to do for you. Invite your in-laws to your home for a meal on occasion. Send pictures and cards. Ask for advice and willingly listen to her ideas, but that doesn’t mean you must do everything her way. Ask your mother-in-law for recipes of your husband’s favorite meals while he was growing up – she’ll love it and so will your husband.
Take good care of her son. Your mother-in-law raised your husband to become the man you fell in love with and married, and she should be thanked, praised and respected for that. Your mother-in-law wants and needs to know that the hard work she put forth loving, raising and caring for her beloved son will continue to be provided in your care. Of course your mother-in-law expects to see your home is well-kept, clean and orderly, just as she worked hard to do while raising him. Of course she expects your husband to have clean clothes and clean underwear to wear at all times. Of course she expects your husband to always be well fed with healthy, nourishing meals, just as she did for so many years. Of course she does! So will you when it’s your turn to play the role of mother-in-law when the time comes.
Do not be a gossip. Are you a gossip? Do you talk crap about any of your in-laws? Spreading negative gossip about any or all family members will cause you to be labeled as a toxic person, undoubtedly leading friends, family and others to not want to associate with you or trust you ever again. The harmful effects of gossip are well-known, and you would be wise to learn the difference between good gossip and negative gossip before you yourself become a victim to a malicious gossiper and discover the results the hard way.

I know, there ARE mother-in-laws who will do everything within their power to prove you are not worthy of their son and will attempt to drive a wedge between you and your husband or husband-to-be. Develop a thick-skin, be assertive and respectful, but don’t stoop to her level and become anyone’s doormat. But not all mother-in-laws are trying to control you or take over your life; they want to be valued and want to share a meaningful place in your lives.

As the daughter-in-law, you’re trying to protect your “turf”, while your mother-in-law wants a place at your table too. Work on your relationship with your mother-in-law; read daughter-in-law books for further advice, be willing to apologize and sincerely say you are sorry for things wrongly said or done. Work hard to make amends with your mother-in-law and stop seeing her as a threat. Spend your time and energies building a good relationship with your mother-in-law that will last a lifetime.

Are you having MIL/DIL problems you would like to share? Do you have a question about having a good daughter-in-law relationship with your mother-in-law? Feel free to ask your questions in the comments section below.

Similar Posts:

Wedding Planning, How To Plan A Wedding, Wedding Planner Checklist

Lin — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 12:00:47 +0000

Planning a wedding is fun and exciting, that’s for sure. Brides and grooms begin searching for information on how to plan a wedding, and start looking for wedding planning websites like The Knot Wedding Shop for help in crossing off their wedding planning checklist of everything they’ll need for their wedding, reception and honeymoon.

Shopping for the wedding gown and tuxedos, choosing the flowers, selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen, choosing the wedding cake and favors, wedding dance songs for the father/daughter dance, enjoying the fun parties and wedding gifts couples receive, all in anticipation of getting married to your sweetheart.

This “wedding planning checklist” offers some ideas about many of the things you will need to do in preparation for your upcoming wedding. These are only ideas of things to consider, to be used as a wedding planning guide, and some things may not apply to you. Some items on this wedding planning list apply to the bride while others are typical responsibilities of the groom. In order not become overwhelmed, work as a team to complete the wedding planner checklist before your wedding.

Wedding Planning Checklist

10 to 12 months prior

Discuss the style, budget, and financing with your Fiancé and ALL parents, or anyone else who is expected to contribute to paying for your wedding, reception and honeymoon.

Start your Free Personalized Wedding Website
Buy a wedding planner

Find your perfect wedding invitation. Don’t order Wedding Invitations before checking InvitationConsultants.com.

Decide the wedding date and time

Style or type of wedding desired (traditional, modern, big or small, etc.)

Choose and buy a wedding dress, shoes, veil, undergarments – fittings and alterations take time. Win a Free Wedding Dress!
Decide who will be in the wedding party-number of bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer

Wedding and reception music desired

Location or venue for the wedding ceremony and reception

Choose the color scheme for your wedding – Red Wedding Gowns are very popular!

Wedding vows – will you write your own wedding vows or use traditional vows?

Choose a wedding photographer and videographer

Select a florist for the wedding and reception

Decide on wedding and reception music: DJ, live band or taped music

Choose a minister or judge to perform the wedding ceremony

Select the location for your rehearsal dinner and time

Decide the reception format: buffet, sit-down dinner, pot-luck, etc.

Choose who will make your wedding cake(s) – taste tests are very important

Begin looking at Honeymoon Destinations with your Fiancé or visit a professional travel agent

7 to 9 months prior

Begin writing wedding vows

Make a first draft of the wedding invitation list

Decide on the wedding ceremony music (prelude, processional, solos, recessional, postlude, etc.)

Choose your wedding invitations

Select your attendants and ask if they will accept being in the wedding party

Meet with minister/judge/officiant to discuss ceremony

Order and/or buy bride’s attendant’s apparel and accessories

Choose and reserve mens formal wear or tuxedos – get their exact measurements

Buy wedding accessories such as earrings, necklace, purse, shoes, gloves, cufflinks, etc.

Decide the rehearsal dinner menu and reception menu

Finalize honeymoon plans and itinerary, hotel lodging, transportation, event tickets, etc

Complete your bridal registry and what items will be on the registry. Register with at least two well-known bridal registries

4 to 6 months prior

Choose poetry or scripture readings for ceremony, and ask possible ceremony readers if they’ll accept the responsibility

Finalize the guest list for the wedding and reception

Buy or order wedding invitations, R.S.V.P cards and announcements

Choose a professional Calligrapher to address the wedding invitations or do it yourself

Decide if roses will be given to the mothers before, during or at the end of the ceremony

Meet with wedding florist to choose flowers and accessories for the ceremony and reception such as pew bows, candles, candleabras, etc.

Chauffers, limousines, horse-drawn carriage, etc

Order Bridesmaids Dresses
Order wedding bands

Buy flower girl basket

Buy pillow for ring-bearer

Plan and finalize details with pianist, organist, DJ or other music entertainment

Make/print directions and map for rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony and reception

Buy/order wedding favors for your guests

Choose Wedding/Reception decorations such as candles, flowers, center pieces, balloons, arches, etc.

Decide the flavor(s) and style of wedding cake and groom’s cake

2 to 3 months prior

Start memorizing your wedding vows if necessary

Decide how your attendants will process and stand at the ceremony

Choose your “something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new” to wear on your wedding day

Choose the color and length of bridesmaids dresses; color and style of hosiery and shoes for bridesmaids

Decide where bride, groom and attendants will get dressed for the ceremony

Buy Flowergirl Dress
Buy after-wedding/honeymoon lingerie and clothes you might need

Buy wedding rings or bands

Buy or order wedding invitations and programs

Buy disposable cameras for reception tables

Buy or order birdseed packets (if allowed) or bubbles, etc.

Buy wedding ceremony guest book and pen

Buy wedding cake knife, napkins, throw/keepsake garters etc for reception

Finalize reception rental items: candelabra, table linens, canopy, tables/chairs, etc.

Buy Postage stamps for invitations, response cards, and thank-you notes

Schedule/confirm makeup artist/hair/nail appointments for wedding

Get complete addresses of everyone on invitation list

Finalize catering, bakery, florist, formal wear/tuxedo measurements

4 to 8 weeks prior

Get marriage license with Fiancé

Have final fitting of wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses.

Contact newspaper regarding wedding announcement

Show final program to officiant and organist to check for accuracy

Plan rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

Confirm all transportation for all events (including honeymoon)

Prepare all the necessary forms for name address changes on social security card, credit cards, bank accounts, post office, driver’s license, etc.

2 to 3 weeks prior

Pay all balances due and remaining security deposits

It’s time for the groom’s hair appointment

Affix poems to disposable cameras

Have final meeting with: florist, caterer, photographer/videographer, musicians, rental services, chauffer/transportation, travel agent

Confirm final nail/hair appointments, hotel reservations for wedding night

1 week prior

Pick up wedding gown and veil, if necessary

Wedding party men (groom/fathers/ushers/groomsmen) to pick up tuxedos and shoes

Double check rehearsal dinner plans

Give wedding day schedule to all at rehearsal dinner

Fill out first page of guest book

Give final guest count to reception venue location and/or caterer

Finish packing for honeymoon, buy traveler’s checks or foreign currency if needed

1 day prior

Take favors, disposable cameras, centerpieces, cake knife and server, toasting glasses, CD’s, and birdseed roses to reception hall.

Bride and attendants go to nail appointment

Morning of Wedding

Bride, maid-of-honor and attendants hair appointment

Give groom’s wedding band to Maid of Honor and bride’s wedding ring to Best Man prior to ceremony.

Tell everyone you don’t want to hear about any mishaps or problems! Try to relax and enjoy the whole day. Keep yourself OFF of any to-do list items if any are remaining to be done. Designate to your attendants; that’s what they’re for.

Congratulations!

Similar Posts:

Mom Songs, Wedding Dance Songs, Songs For Moms and Dads

Lin — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 17:37:56 +0000

Mom songs are very popular for Weddings, Receptions, Birthdays, Mother’s Day and throughout the year as a “just because” gift for moms. The ability to download songs for mom and dad to make into a CD, or listen to on an MP3 player or iPod, is a creative and unique gift to the mom or dad in your life.

If you are getting married and looking for wedding dance songs, perhaps for a special father/daughter or mother/daughter dance at your wedding reception, review this list of 101 songs for ideas with some of the best mother songs and songs for dads. You will notice there are songs from various genres including pop, rock, country etc.

Some of these songs are a bit sappy for a father/daughter dance or mother/daughter dance, so you might want to consider mixing things up like in this father/daughter dance, where the typical traditional dance quickly turned into a funny White Wedding spin. Enjoy!

101 Songs For Mom and Dad

I Remember Mama – by Shirley Caesar
In My Life – by The Beatles Lyrics/Video
What A Wonderful World – by Louis Armstrong Lyrics/Video
A Song For Mama – by Boyz II Men Lyrics/Video
Mother – by Pink Floyd Lyrics/Video
You Are So Beautiful – by Joe Cocker Lyrics/Video
Try To Remember – by Harry Belafonte Lyrics/Video
The Perfect Fan – by Backstreet Boys Lyrics/Video
Somebody’s Hero – by Jamie O’Neal Lyrics/Video
In My Daughter’s Eyes – by Martina McBride Lyrics/Video
White Wedding – by Billy Idol Lyrics/Video
Mama – by Spice Girls Lyrics/Video
Because You Loved Me – by Celine Dion Lyrics/Video
Oh How The Years Go By – by Amy Grant Lyrics/Video
Mother’s Prayer – by Sandi Patti Lyrics/Video
You’ll Never Walk Alone – by Barbara Streisand Lyrics/Video
Mama – by IL Divo Lyrics/Video
Thank You Mom – by Good Charlotte Lyrics/Video
Surrender – by Cheap Trick Lyrics/Video
Simple Man – by Lynyrd Skynyrd Lyrics/Video
A Mother’s Love – by Aretha Franklin
You Raise Me Up – by Josh Groban Lyrics/Video
Through The Years – by Kenny Rogers Lyrics/Video
Daddy’s Girl – by Peter Cetera
Wind Beneath My Wings – by Bette Midler Lyrics/Video
Just The Way You Are – by Billy Joel Lyrics/Video
The Wonder Of You – by Elvis Presley Lyrics/Video
Three Times A Lady – by Lionel Richie Lyrics/Video
Angel – by Aerosmith Lyrics/Video
Hero – by Enrique Iglesias Lyrics/Video
He Didn’t Have To Be by Brad Paisley Lyrics/Video
Good Mother – by Jann Arden Lyrics/Video
God Bless Mom – by The Frames Lyrics/Video
I’ll Always Love My Mama – by The Intruders Lyrics/Video
Sweetest Decline – by Beth Orton Lyrics/Video
Mama, I’m Coming Home – by Ozzy Osbourne Lyrics/Video
Your Mother Should Know – by The Beatles Revival Band Lyrics/Video
Mama You Been On My Mind – by Rod Stewart
Feels Like Home – by Chantal Kreviazuk Lyrics/Video
Mama a Rainbow – from Minnie’s Boys Lyrics/Video
Daddy’s Hands – by Holly Dunn Lyrics/Video
You Can’t Lose Me – by Faith Hill Lyrics/Video
Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison Lyrics/Video
I’ll Be – by Reba McEntire Lyrics/Video
I Turn To You – by Christina Aguilara Lyrics/Video
Mama He’s Crazy – by The Judds Lyrics/Video
My Girl – by Temptations Lyrics/Video
My Wish – by Rascal Flatts Lyrics/Video
I Hope You Dance – by Lee Ann Womack Lyrics/Video
Forever Young – by Rod Stewart Lyrics/Video
Goodbye’s (The Saddest Word) – by Celine Dion Lyrics/Video
Nothing Compares 2 U by Sinead O’Connor Lyrics/Video
Gracie by Ben Folds Lyrics/Video
Star – by Bryan Adams Lyrics/Video
Daughters by John Mayer Lyrics/Video
Sweet Child O’ Mine by Sheryl Crow Lyrics/Video
Never Gone – by Backstreet Boys Lyrics/Video
If I Could – by Barbara Streisand Lyrics/Video
Kind And Generous – by Natalie Merchant Lyrics/Video
The Way You Look Tonight – by Michael Buble Lyrics/Video
You Are The Sunshine Of My Life – by Stevie Wonder Lyrics/Video
Butterfly Kisses – by Bob Carlisle Lyrics/Video
Isn’t She Lovely – by Stevie Wonder Lyrics/Video
You’ll Be In My Heart – by Phil Collins Lyrics/Video
Can You Feel The Love Tonight – by Elton John Lyrics/Video
There You’ll Be – by Faith Hill Lyrics/Video
I Loved Her First – by Heartland Lyrics/Video
How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) – by James Taylor Lyrics/Video
Have I Told You Lately – by Rod Stewart Lyrics/Video
Ain’t That Love – by Ray Charles
Father And Daughter – by Paul Simon Lyrics/Video
Landslide – by Fleetwood Mac Lyrics/Video
Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses Lyrics/Video
Thank You – Led Zeppelin Lyrics/Video
My Little Girl – by Tim McGraw Lyrics/Video
Daughter – by Loudon Wainwright III Lyrics/Video
Unforgettable – by Natalie Cole and Nat King Cole Lyrics/Video
Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) – by Billy Joel Lyrics/Video
Father’s Eyes – by Amy Grant Lyrics/Video
If I Could – by Celine Dion Lyrics/Video
Daddy’s Little Girl – by Al Martino Lyrics/Video
Wonderful Tonight – by Eric Clapton Lyrics/Video
Daughter Of Mine – by John McDermott
Time Of Your Life – by Green Day Lyrics/Video
You’re The Inspiration – by Chicago Lyrics/Video
My Special Angel – by Bobby Helms Lyrics/Video
You Decorated My Life – by Kenny Rogers Lyrics/Video
That’s How Strong My Love Is – by Otis Redding
Stand By Me – by Ben E. King Lyrics/Video
Daddy – by Beyonce Lyrics/Video
Do I Make You Proud – by Taylor Hicks Lyrics/Video
I’ll Stand By You – by The Pretenders Lyrics/Video
Some Hearts – by Carrie Underwood Lyrics/Video
You Got It – by Roy Orbison Lyrics/Video
Anyway – by Martina McBride Lyrics/Video
You’re My Little Girl – by Go Fish Lyrics/Video
Stealing Cinderella – by Chuck Wicks Lyrics/Video
Sunrise, Sunset – from Fiddler On The Roof Lyrics/Video
Don’t Forget To Remember Me – by Carrie Underwood Lyrics/Video
The Best Day – by Taylor Swift Lyrics/Video
When The Stars Go Blue – by Tim McGraw Lyrics/Video

If you are searching for wedding dance songs, be sure to check out the words and lyrics to any song you are considering in order to avoid an embarrassing disaster at your wedding or reception because of song lyrics that just don’t fit the occasion or your relationship.

Similar Posts:

How to Divorce Your Parents, Minors Emancipation, Can You Divorce Your Parents?

Lin — Mon, 18 May 2009 11:00:14 +0000

Can you divorce your parents? How do you divorce your parents if you are an adult child dealing with controlling parents or in-laws, or a teenager seeking legal minor emancipation or “divorce” from your parents? Are you dealing with a toxic, abusive and/or controlling parent and want to know how to “divorce” your parents?

I’ve received several “divorce your parents” email questions in recent weeks, from adult children dealing with over-involved, controlling parents who don’t know how to parent adult children, and from teens who think that getting pregnant on purpose or getting married too young is the way to qualify for emancipation from parents in order to get out from underneath their parents thumb. I’ll first respond to the adult children, then the teens.

If you are an adult child who has been researching “parents controlling adult children” or “controlling parents”, you likely came across my articles about parents helping vs. enabling adult children and didn’t think those apply to your specific situation (or they do apply, but that’s not what you want to hear and you don’t want to admit it).

How To Divorce Your Parents

Based on some of the emails I’ve received, I’d venture to say that there is a strong possibility that you may have a sense of entitlement that makes you want to “have your cake and eat it too”, but you can’t have it both ways.

If you really are dealing with “controlling parents” or in-laws that don’t understand what parenting adult children means or the need for respectful boundaries, these articles will help explain that “divorcing” controlling, toxic parents as grown, adult children may be the only viable option left to protect your physical, emotional, mental health and well-being.

Allow yourself the personal right to disengage, disassociate, and detach.

Reasons given for adult children divorcing their parents include:

Parents who hit and/or verbally abuse their adult children despite being grown, married with children and living independently of parents.
Parents who don’t show even the slightest measure of respect to their grown children, or anyone else.
Parents who habitually lie and steal money from their own children.
Parents who purposely attempt to drive a wedge between their married son/daughter and spouse, in an effort to cause a divorce because of not “liking” their son-in-law or daughter-in-law.

I could go on and on with this list of “divorce your parents” reasons, but you get the idea.

Part of being an adult is having the backbone or assertiveness to stand up for yourself and say NO. You can say NO by not answering phone calls or responding to emails or letters, not attending or participating in family functions, and not allowing yourself to get drawn into the insidious, toxic family drama that you find so upsetting.

An “emotional divorce” from parents may be temporary or long-term. You may discover, after a period of time goes by, that you begin to feel the desire to gradually reconnect with your parents, where new rules and boundaries are assertively negotiated and respectfully followed on both sides.

Or, you may find that the time spent not talking to or visiting with your parents over a period of time brings you the peace and tranquility you’ve needed, where you now have no desire whatsoever of ever reestablishing a relationship with your parents. Whether or not you ever decide to reconnect with your parents is a personal decision you have to live with, along with whatever consequences come from your personal choice or decision on the matter.

Emancipation of Minors

What are your reasons to get emancipated? Saying “I want to get emancipated” isn’t good enough. A minor may seek minor emancipation (often referred to as teen emancipation or child emancipation) for reasons such as abuse, neglect, marriage, teen pregnancy, joining the military or just to be an independent adult.

Unfortunately, some teens throw around the “abuse” and “neglect” words quite freely and undeservedly towards their parents rules and guidelines, and think that emancipation of minors is their personal “get-out-of-jail” free card to do whatever they want without any parental oversight or control.

Reality Check: Emancipation decrees are rarely granted and the court reserves the right to rescind the right and place the minor into the care of the state at any time, for any reason, before the minor reaches the age of majority.

Sure, there are some new “rights” after becoming emancipated, but there are other adult “rights” you will be responsible for as well. Such as:

Support yourself financially. A judge will not grant your emancipation if you are unable to totally support yourself.
Paying for your own food, clothing and shelter. Getting and paying for your own medical, dental, and automobile insurance.
Pay all of your own bills. Your income must be from a legal source.
You must go to school. Emancipation and education laws require minors stay in school, finish high school until they graduate or reach the age of 18.
Child labor laws still apply, which means you can’t work as many hours as you may want.
As a minor, you can’t have sex, drink alcohol or vote until you are of legal age. Forget the idea of becoming a teenage pregnancy statistic just to become emancipated. The laws governing unlawful sexual intercourse (“statutory rape”) means it is illegal for a minor to engage in sex with anyone (even if it’s with another minor), unless the teen is married and having intercourse with his or her spouse.

Running away from home and/or having sex anyway could very well show the judge that you are a troubled, rebellious teenager in need of counseling rather than emancipation. Having sex anyway could mean your “significant other” will find themselves on the list of convicted sex offenders; and it will not work to your advantage when trying to convince a court judge that you are “mature” or deserving of emancipation.

Teens, do you know the legal age to move out of the house without parent consent or permission in your state? If you commit a crime (ie. unlawful sexual intercourse) you may be tried as an adult in a court of law. Whether or not you become emancipated has nothing to do with being tried as an adult. (Age of Consent)

There is a big difference between emancipation and divorcing a parent, but far too often, teens don’t take the time to become knowledgeable about minor emancipation laws or ask the necessary questions regarding becoming emancipated, such as:

What is minor emancipation? Legal emancipation from parents is a process that gives a teen legal independence from his or her parent or guardian before the “age of majority” (18 years old in most states), whereby a minor may petition the courts to be legally responsible for him or herself and no longer under the custody and control of parents.
How old do you have to be to get emancipated? Emancipation laws vary from state to state. If the state you live in has an emancipation law, (only about half of them do) it usually requires the minor to be at least 16.
How do you get emancipated? In the United States, there are three main ways to become emancipated.

1. Get married - Getting married too young and marrying for the wrong reasons will put you on the fast track towards divorce so quick it would make your head spin. (See Marriageable Age)

2. Join the military – you must meet the military’s minimal educational requirements and provide a valid high school diploma or GED. The military must still be willing to accept you.

3. Go to court and have the judge declare you emancipated by “judicial declaration”

In order to get a judge to grant an emancipation judicial declaration, you must prove the following:

You are at least 14 years old (emancipation age varies by state)
You don’t want to live with your parents and your parents will consent
You must prove you are mature. How? Do an online search for “signs of maturity” and “signs of immaturity” and see how your maturity level pans out. Witness accounts from friends, teachers, counselors, YOU, employers, and other responsible adults who will provide testimony of various signs of maturity as proof for the court.
You can financially and legally support yourself
You must show that emancipation would be in your best interests.

Court cost of emancipation – To get emancipated, legal forms commonly known as “emancipation papers” or “emancipation forms” will need to be filed with the court. The average filing and court fee is about $250.00, plus the cost of your legally required attorney. Attorney fees for emancipation average between $800-$1000, if the petition is not contested by your parents, otherwise the costs could be much higher if parental permission is not granted. Can you afford emancipation?

Do I need my parents’ consent (permission) to get emancipated? Yes. Minors need parental consent (and consent by the courts) to get married and parental permission to join the military. Plus, the armed forces is under no obligation to accept you. To become emancipated, a minor must give his/her parents notice of the court hearing, and the parents may go to court to contest the emancipation.

Parents: You can do an online search for “Prevent your child from becoming emancipated” for more information on that.

Teens, emancipation is a very heavy responsibility and must be taken very seriously. There are alternatives to emancipation as well, such as your parents consenting to you living with another relative or family friend. Otherwise, you will just have to suck it up and deal with your parents like the rest of us until you are automatically emancipated when you turn 18 and can legally move out of the house and be on your own.

Similar Posts: