Are parents obligated to pay college tuition for their kids to attend college? Should parents pay for college or should college students be responsible for paying college related expenses including tuition, with or without their parents help? The question of who pays for college continues to be a controversial (sometimes heated) debate between kids planning to attend college, and their parents.

Parents, are you responsible for paying your kids college education or not? If parents are supposed to pay for college, how much should parents pay towards tuition, books, housing costs, transportation, gas, insurance, food, clothing, entertainment and miscellaneous expenses for college? Where do parents draw the line between helping kids attend college and not jeopardizing their savings and retirement accounts? To say that your retirement plans are more important than your children’s college funds is putting it mildly.

The all too common belief some people have that it is somehow a parents obligation to pay for college, as if parents “owe” their kids a paid-for college education, reeks of unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement in today’s society. Parents who cannot afford to pay for their kids to attend college, or choose not to pay some or all college expenses for their own personal or financial reasons, are almost made out to be bad parents.

These parents are accused of not loving their kids, not wanting their children to be successful in life, and not worthy of being called parents amongst other things. Loving your children has nothing to do with who is going to pay for college, or a parent’s desire for their kids to become successful, independent adults. In an article entitled “don’t pay your children’s college education”, the writer aptly points out that paying for college is not about love, sacrifice or devotion towards kids. There is much more to it than that.

So, parents have to pay for college if they have the money, right? Wrong. “How am I going to pay for my college education if my parents won’t pay, can’t afford to help, or refuse to fill out the FAFSA?” is a common question.

Who Pays For College?

Opinions on why parents should pay for college vs. parents who should not pay for college vary, as expected. Even “personal finance experts” can’t seem to agree. Words like should, must, have to, obligation, responsibility and similar terms used by college-aged kids expecting their parents to pay for all college expenses with little or no “skin in the game” themselves is ludicrous. I have yet to find a parenting manual that states parents must pay for their child’s college education, whether parents can afford the costs or not.

Don’t get me wrong, education is important. Many parents already do what they can to ensure their kids get a great education until high school graduation. But, parents do not owe their children a college education. Parents paying for college is not a kids “right” to a free ride through college, but is a parents choice to decide whether to pay or not pay for any part of their kids higher education, how much, and on what terms.

You can take loans for college but not for retirement. Even financial expert Suze Orman says it is financially irresponsible and downright dangerous for parents to basically write a blank check from the bank of mom and dad to pay for their kids college education, or take out a second mortgage to pay for college. IF parents can afford to pay for college and choose to do so, then by all means pay for your child to go to college to whatever degree you are financially able to do so, without sacrificing your savings account or retirement account.

How to Pay For College

Planning ahead towards college costs with money set aside in a 529 plan for your kids education is a smart option for parents, if they choose to and can afford it. Parents can also help their children look for scholarships, federal grants, student loans and sources of “free money” for college. Do not allow your children, or society in general, to guilt-trip or demand that you pay for your child’s college education if you cannot afford to pay or choose not to pay for your kids to go to college. It is entirely up to you, the parents.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this article suggesting the “federal government and the schools consider it the family’s primary responsibility to pay for the child’s education”, wrongly implying that parents are legally required to pay for college. Let the whining and moaning commence. Parents who have college-aged kids have already fulfilled their responsibility to their kids education throughout elementary, middle/intermediate and high school. The article about the federal government even suggests kids who have Christian or religious parents should hurl scripture quotes from the Bible at parents in order to manipulate or coerce parents into paying for college.

Should parents pay for college or should parents make kids find a job and work through college to help themselves get a great education? A parents legal and moral obligation to care and provide for their children ends when kids reach the age of 18 and they are considered to be adults in the U.S. While parents have an obligation to care for minor children and provide them the best education possible, parents are not obligated or responsible for adult children. Unfortunately, many parents continue to pay for and enable their grown kids anyway.

If you are a parent researching information on the advantages and disadvantages of paying for all or some of your kids college education, carefully consider and bookmark these devil’s advocate articles on who should pay for college, and who should not pay and how helping pay for college can lead to trouble. The decision is ultimately yours, so choose wisely, unless you don’t mind eating cat food in your elderly years. The book The Best Way to Save for College-A Complete Guide to 529 Plans by Joseph Hurley comes highly recommended by finance expert Suze Orman.

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When planning a modern wedding, who pays for what? In decades past, because of the old tradition of dowry, the bride’s family traditionally paid for most or all the wedding costs. “Traditionally”, around the 17th or 18th century, the brides mother and/or father would pay for everything needed for the wedding and reception, including the venue (location of wedding/reception), bridal gown, music, flowers, venue, food, bar costs, gratuities and anything else. Then they also give a generous wedding gift to the happy newly married couple. However, times have changed.

Nowadays, it is very common for the bride and groom to pay for all or most wedding expenses themselves, or to more evenly split the wedding related expenses among both sets of parents. Why have the traditional rules of who pays for what in weddings changed, and how should engaged couples, parents and families deal with the more modern view of wedding etiquette in relation to the wedding budget and the question of who will be paying for the cost of the wedding?

There are a variety of reasons for the change from traditional to modern in regards to wedding planning and the budget. One reason is that people are choosing to live together before marriage for a period of time, deciding to get married later in life and are more financially established in their careers at the time of their wedding. Another reason is that there are more women working than ever before, compared to the ancient, archaic time period of women staying home “barefoot and pregnant” while men worked outside the home, so brides nowadays are often able to help pay for their own weddings. A third reason is the rising costs of weddings and the increased financial burden placed on parents who may not be able to afford paying for their son or daughter’s expensive dream wedding.

I am a firm believer in tradition, traditional values and beliefs, but I also believe in living within your means and adults paying their own way in life. There is often a big difference between the “traditional” division of wedding expenses and what people/parents can legitimately afford to pay without going into debt, or using their life savings or retirement accounts to pay for a wedding. Hence the numerous emails that continue to fill my inbox from mothers and fathers whose son or daughter is planning a wedding they cannot afford, and the sometimes manipulative tactics used to get the parents to pay more than they can afford.

Since writing the “who pays for what” article in answer to a disabled mother’s problem with her daughter demanding she pay more of the wedding than she could afford, the emails and questions just keep on coming. This time, rather than restating what I’ve already said on the subject, I decided to provide a variety of helpful links to online articles talking about Who Pays For What in Weddings as reference points for brides, grooms and parents.

Note: References to “traditionally who pays” are not rules written in stone but are merely guidelines for creating a wedding budget and determining who pays for the wedding. Sometimes the traditional wedding planning checklist needs to be modified for financial reasons. Brides, grooms and families should understand that your own personal finances will dictate what type of wedding/reception you can have, and who ultimately pays for what is entirely up to you and your families and their ability to pay.

Modern Weddings – Who Pays For What?

Engaged couples should first sit down with both families soon after announcing the engagement to work out the details of the wedding budget and who will pay for what. Without further ado…

Bridal Guide Magazinesays, “If you’re lucky, your families will approach you and your fiance’ to let you know what, if anything, they plan to contribute to your wedding. If your parents don’t initiate a conversation, you will need to, and the sooner you do it the sooner you can start hammering out a realistic wedding budget.”

“After announcing their engagement, the bride and groom sit down and estimate what they’ll spend on the wedding, probably after finding a reception site and making general decisions about theme, style, time of day etc. They then approach their parents and after describing what they’ve decided on so far, say gently, “We were wondering if you would be able to pitch in for any of the costs.” The parents may look at the budget and say, “We’d like to pay for the reception food and the flowers” for example. They may also offer a set amount they’ll contribute. If their parents say they can’t afford to contribute, or only offer a small amount, the bride and groom say, “Thank you for considering,” and perhaps have to revise their budget or find creative ways to pay for the wedding.” Read more here about who pays for what.

“64% of bride and grooms are breaking with the age old tradition of the brides parents footing the bill, by paying for their own wedding. With less than 18% of couples preferring to stick with tradition and allowing the brides parents to pay for the wedding and only 13% of the bride and grooms parents joining together to pay for their children’s big day. With nearly a thousand couples polled the results came as no surprise, confirming the steady shift in the way society views individual responsibilities, with financing for your own wedding being no exception.” Read more here about poll study results on who pays for modern weddings.

“Tradition was not financially kind to the bride’s family. Fortunately, at least if you’re looking at the situation from the viewpoint of that family, times have changed. Rather than burden one family with practically the entire cost of a wedding, it is common practice these days for both families—and sometimes the bride and groom—to share expenses. The best way to decide who will pay for what is for both families (or all the families that apply) and the couple to sit down together and have a frank discussion about what each party can afford to contribute.” Read more here about couples and families paying for weddings and wedding loans.

“Get together with every single person who might contribute to the total cost of the wedding. That means all parents, you and your fiancé, and anyone else with a financial interest (may you be so lucky as to have an eccentric and wealthy aunt). This is the fastest way to find out how big you can dream. More and more often today, weddings are paid for by a two-family counsel—and more than 60 percent of brides and grooms are paying for at least part of the costs as well. This makes it pretty clear that the old rules of divvying up the wedding bills simply no longer apply.” Read more here on traditional vs modern wedding planning and costs.

“Gone are the days when a wedding means the bride’s father stands with an open palm awaiting a bill for all the expenses. Although traditionally the bride’s family was responsible for most (if not all) of the wedding finances, today’s perspective is one of practicality and a general respect for individual outlooks and varying alternatives. Wedding etiquette has evolved to take a host of variables into account. Current day ideologies embrace doing what works best for each couple and their family. No one should feel obligated to accept a financial burden, and couples should understand who will be paying well in advance of the selection process. Keeping everyone’s comfort in mind will allow for a wedding that is both spectacular and affordable.” Read more here…

“Forget the archaic rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things. The bride’s parents need not take out a third mortgage to pay for the wedding, and the groom’s parents are not off the hook either. Besides, the two of you might even be covering a good chunk of the expenses yourselves. The best way to work it out? Sit down with pencil, paper, and calculator and figure out what you really want and can afford. Keep in mind that informal weddings are usually smaller (and therefore cheaper), and formal weddings tend to be larger (and therefore more expensive). Here’s a list of the traditional costs for everyone involved — but remember, these “rules” are made to be broken!” Read more here…

“The most contentious subject for any wedding (and one that, without a doubt, will cause the most arguments) is money. Now you’ve set your budget you need to guide yourselves through the murky waters of working out who’s responsible for paying for what. Whilst traditionally the bride’s parents used to pay for the majority of the wedding, these days with a multitude of different familial circumstances it’s not so cut and dried. The costs may be divided equally between the two families. The bride and groom may choose to pay for the wedding themselves. The bride and groom may pay for majority of the costs with both families contributing towards elements that they’d like to help with, eg. the flowers, transport or cake. The two families may offer to contribute a certain amount towards the wedding, to be spent as the bride and groom wish. If either or both sets of parents are divorced a compromise can usually be found using a mixture of options.” Read more here…

“These days, the cost of a wedding makes a year at Harvard and Yale look affordable. How are you going to scrape together the bucks so you can have the bash you want? Put that idea about sticking up the Federal Reserve on hold. You have options — legal, time-honored, respectable options. The kind of options that, unless you’re in the habit of bouncing checks, won’t land you behind bars. Here’s a rundown of some of them, plus their pros and cons. Keep in mind that a combination of two or more may be how you end up getting your wedding paid for.” Read more here…

“Nowadays, the cost of even the most modest wedding can be astronomical, but times are changing (phew!) and often the family of the bride, the couple themselves and even the groom’s family can contribute to costs. A wise father will set his budget as early as possible and advise the couple as to what he is able, and prepared, to spend. Then there can be no misunderstandings and the couple are able to budget accordingly and decide where their priorities lie.” Read more here…

“There was a time when the Father of the Bride was essentially expected to hand over a blank check in order to cover almost all wedding expenses. That was during an age when marriage was the ceremonial transferal of responsibility for (and possession of) the bride, from her father to her husband. She usually came with a really neat dowry, like two donkeys and a sack of lard. While many still count on Dear-Old-Dad (and Mom!) to foot the bill, most contemporary couples are dealing with a more complicated set of rules, or lack thereof. This is due, in part, to the fact that many couples are getting married later in life and therefore are more financially stable when they do; and also because a greater number of women are enjoying successful and lucrative careers than was the case in previous generations.” Read more here…

“Weddings can be elaborate and very expensive or they can be fairly simple and affordable. The decision about a wedding budget is one that needs to be made by the bride and groom and their families-together. While tradition dictates that the bride’s family covers most of the expenses of a wedding, that tradition is not necessarily relevant today. Particularly with marriages that occur after the bride and groom are educated and established, many of today’s weddings are primarily financed by the bride and groom themselves. In other cases, the traditional divisions of responsibilities for wedding expenses are more flexible than ever.” Read more here…

Are you getting married soon? Have you initiated the “money talk” with your parents yet? Who will pay for your wedding, reception and/or honeymoon? Are you sharing costs equally? Are you paying for your wedding yourselves or are you and your families splitting the costs in some way?

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For people that drink as much coffee as we do, our recent experience with a single serve coffee maker in our hotel room during our Chicago vacation created temporary disappointment. I can only guess as to why hotels choose to provide hotel guests with one-cup coffee machines versus one that brews more than one cup of coffee at a time, but we weren’t impressed.

The moment we checked into our hotel room and saw the tiny coffee making appliance sitting on the counter at the hotel we stayed at, we knew we weren’t going to make it through our entire vacation trip with that silly looking coffee maker. We made a beeline to the nearest store and bought a cheap, black 12-cup automatic coffee maker that was sitting all by itself on a discount clearance shelf for just ten dollars.

We also bought our favorite coffee creamer, two large coffee cups that only cost 99 cents each, and a decent size container of our favorite brand of coffee and coffee filters. We couldn’t help but laugh when we read the front of the coffee maker provided by the hotel, where it claims to be a two-cup coffee machine that comes with pre-measured coffee pods. The only way it would be possible to get two cups of coffee from that machine would be for us to use cups from a little girl’s toy tea set. Simply ridiculous.

Top Ten Best Selling Coffee Makers

Even though the automatic coffee maker we bought during our vacation doesn’t appear anywhere on the list of best selling coffee makers, we were pleased with the results even with the slow brewing time. We’ve been talking about replacing the lousy Proctor Silex coffee maker we have at home for a better quality machine, and since we donated the one we used during our trip to the kids, we’ve been checking out coffee maker reviews and ratings for all the different kinds of coffee makers.

Apparently, single serve coffee makers like the Keurig coffee maker are a growing trend amongst many coffee drinkers as a way of reducing their caffeine consumption, but we would just switch to decaf coffee if we were concerned about caffeine addiction problems. We’ve never been espresso/cappuccino coffee drinkers, and hot tea never appealed to me, but we do love the taste of great coffee brewed at home.

You might think that the amount of coffee we drink everyday might lead us to buy a large commercial type coffee maker, perhaps one that brews upwards of 100 cups of coffee at a time, but that would be overkill. We’ve read review articles on various types of coffee makers that brew 10, 12 or 14 cups of coffee at a time for comparison purposes, and even checked out ratings on Consumer Reports.

What is the Best Home Coffee Maker?

Trying to compare coffee makers for personal home use versus industrial sized coffee makers appropriate for business offices became somewhat frustrating. All we wanted to know is, What is the best home coffee maker on the market today? Until we began our search for a new coffee maker, it hadn’t occurred to me that there are so many brands of coffee machines to choose from! DeLonghi, Cuisinart, Gaggia, Braun, Krups, Saeco, Capresso, Bunn, Sunbeam, Senseo, KitchenAid, Black and Decker, Mr. Coffee, Coleman, Jura and Zojirushi are the brands that come to mind. That’s a lot of competition for coffee makers, and each wants to be considered the best.

After reviewing customer reviews and online ratings for coffee makers, it became clear that deciding which coffee maker machine was the best is just a matter of opinion and personal experience. There also appears to be a certain amount of hype surrounding some coffee makers which caused some doubt in our minds as to the reliability and trustworthiness of some online reviews. However, if you’re interested in an honest, unbiased review of the Keurig Special Edition B60 Single Serve Coffee Maker, I can personally vouch for the source.

A few years ago we had a Bunn coffee maker that worked like a champ until it was dropped and broken, and even though it can be a bit pricey, it was our favorite over all the other brands. The fact that a full pot of coffee was brewed and ready in two minutes flat was just one of the reasons why we chose the Bunn. That old saying “you get what you pay for” probably rings true when it comes to buying a good quality coffee maker.

Types of Coffee Makers

I certainly wouldn’t attempt to convince anyone that one brand of coffee maker is better than the other, because there are many factors to consider in the selection process. Whether you buy an automatic drip coffee maker, manual drip, French press/Plunger Pot, stove top percolator, espresso/cappuccino/latte machine or pod coffee maker, consider your personal preferences of what you need your coffee maker to do and what features are important to you.

Should it have programmable settings? An automatic on/off safety feature? Brew interrupt/pause feature? What is your price range? Color preference? Amount of available space for the coffee maker? Do you need a space-saver undercabinet type coffee maker? Do you need a single or dual cup model, or perhaps a family size standard coffee maker with 8, 10, 12 or 14 cup options? Once you decide what features and options you want in a coffee maker, choosing the right one for your home or office becomes much easier.

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I have been a Skype user for a long time now, keeping in contact with friends and family living in the U.S and abroad. One of my family members lives in Spain, and having Skype to at least instant message or chat while on different time zones has been great. Email only does so much, but Skype is better. While instant messaging with Skype helps keep me closely connected with family and friends who don’t live nearby, instant messaging on Skype isn’t enough for me anymore.

I’ve known about webcams for Skype but hadn’t taken the time to learn how to use Skype with a webcam, and I needed to find out more about choosing a good webcam to use with Skype. I’ve heard there is a way to use a digital camera with Skype too, but using Skype on my home computer with a webcam is all that matters to me at this point.

What is Skype?

Skype’s free downloadable software allows you to talk, instant message and make video calls to other Skype users for FREE. Skype uses your broadband internet connection to make unlimited free voice and video calls over the internet through your computer. You can also call phones and mobile cell phones and send text messages at very cheap rates – a lot cheaper than typical long distance/international plans.

The “Skype Out” features allows users to make cheap international calls with Skype to phones and mobile cell phones at a mere fraction of the cost of current international rates, and this is one of my favorite features since it allows me to call Spain for mere pennies. When my dad was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma awhile back, calls were made from Spain to check on my dad’s health status and the total cost was just a few cents.

Why use Skype and Webcams for Skype?

Webcam dangers are a reality in this crazy world we live in, but there are some benefits to using a webcam that is hooked up and connected with Skype that I can’t pass up. There are many good, valid reasons to use a webcam, whether it is for business or personal use. Some people choose to use webcams to keep an eye on what is going on at their house while they are away. Military personnel stay closely connected with their husband, wife and/or children while they are working far away, perhaps overseas.

Others like to watch what their pets are doing in the backyard, and what problems or chaos the dog is creating back there. Some use webcams to watch their children at school, daycare or in the care of babysitters in their home. Grandparents can use webcams to see their grown children and grandchildren who live far away and stay connected via video conferencing, which is my primary reason for deciding to buy a webcam to use with Skype.

Who should get Skype?

Anyone interested in staying connected with family and friends who don’t live nearby should download Skype. If you are wondering why you should get a webcam to use with Skype, especially if you are grandparent with grandchildren who live far away, understand that there are many advantages to using webcams to stay connected with family and friends. Having a webcam set up with Skype allows me to see my children and grandchildren on live video, and where they can also see Grandma and Grandpa talking to them too.

I’ve heard of some grandparents who use a webcam with Skype to read story books to their grandchildren, and grandparents are able to see their grandchild’s school report card and help with homework, amongst many other wonderful possibilities. My two grandkids are still too young to read children’s books to via webcam, but having the ability to see my grandchildren grow and learn how to talk (and say Grandma, Grandpa, Nana or Papa) makes for some fun times on Skype.

What is the Best Webcam for Skype?

One of the best things about being on Facebook is the ability to get suggestions and recommendations from friends and family on any given product, and that includes our search for a new smartphone as well as finding the best webcam to buy to use with Skype. Webcam prices vary, and while we certainly wanted a good quality webcam with clear imagery, we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the webcam.

Thanks to some great advice from Shayne at GrandparentsTLC, we were able to narrow down the webcam choices to a great quality webcam with built-in microphone that is very inexpensive and works extremely well with Skype. Since we weren’t knowledgeable about the differences between the more expensive webcams versus the cheap webcams (and how well the cheaper webcams would work), Shayne’s suggestions were a big help.

It would never have crossed my mind that there are different webcams to choose from depending on if you are a Mac user versus a Windows PC like we use. Since I’ve never used a Mac computer yet, despite knowing how popular they are, I didn’t need to find a compatible webcam for Mac but I was able to tell a friend of mine about those since she is a Mac user.

If you are looking for a webcam to use with Skype, you don’t need to spend a lot of money on a webcam. The Macally IceCam webcam we bought is inexpensive, and it only took a few minutes to install and hook up the webcam to the computer and have it running perfectly with Skype. We didn’t have any problems getting the webcam to work right, and after testing the webcam on Skype a couple of times, our webcam was set and ready to video conference and chat on Skype with the kids, grandkids, friends and family that use Skype.

Aside from the Blackberry smartphones we recently bought, buying the webcam to use with Skype for the benefit of staying closely connected with the kids and grandchildren was money well spent. Every computer-user grandparent should get Skype and get a webcam to use with Skype, in my opinion. Money very well spent.

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Are you stuck in a rut in your relationship with your husband or wife? Are you ready to get out of the rut you’re in and put some fire back into your marriage? Is your marriage lacking emotional intimacy, where you feel like your marriage to your spouse has become routine and boring? Are you in a sex starved marriage? Do you ever ask yourself “how do I get out of a rut in my relationship with my partner or spouse?”

If you’ve been feeling sad or depressed that your marriage seems to have become a boring, monotonous routine lifestyle that never changes, it probably means you are stuck in a rut. A relationship rut. It’s time you get out of the rut you’re in, spice things up a bit and reestablish intimacy, friendship, fun and sex in your marriage.

Angela says there is no intimacy in her marriage with her husband of 25 years anymore, virtually no sex at all and the emotional connection or excitement that brought them together is now gone. “Can this marriage be saved?” was her question in a recent email. Angela says she has considered telling their children that she wants a divorce from their father so she can “find someone new, exciting and fun” to be with. Problem is, she isn’t 100% percent sure she actually wants a divorce and wonders if it’s possible to bring back the spark that has been missing from their marriage before it’s too late.

Rodney says “my marriage is boring”, to the point where his marriage to his wife of 18 years has become a sexless marriage. No sex at all for more than three years. Zip, zero, nada. Rodney says he knows for sure his wife is not cheating on him, but the lack of intimacy and sex in their marriage is causing him to think he should just “give up” on the marriage and get a divorce. He says he realizes that “sex in marriage isn’t the most important thing about being married”, but the marriage is nothing more than a day-to-day routine where he feels like he and his wife have become mere “roommates” instead of friends and lovers.

How to Save a Marriage by Breaking Out of the Marriage Routine

Is your marriage boring and dull? A bit too “comfortable” perhaps? If you feel the romance has died in your marriage, or teetering on the edge of the abyss that too often leads to divorce, it’s time you step out of your comfort zone and work towards reestablishing the excitement and fun experienced during the beginning of your relationship. In marriage and life, routine or habit is common and normal. Until those routines and habits turn your marriage into a rut.

“The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions” – Ellen Glasgow

There is no avoiding the fact that couples get married, have children, deal with work and family responsibilities that quickly become part of the routine of living day to day. Understand that there is a difference between routine and being in a rut. When marriage becomes routine, boring and dull, the husband and wife must work together and find ways to fire up their marriage and sex life to bring back the spark that’s been missing in their lives.

Face it, you can never go back to that first kiss moment… that incredible feeling of newly found love. Don’t look back at those times with sadness…look forward to the relationship you would like to have with your spouse and start building on that. Think about the things that initially attracted you to your wife or husband and make it a point to reconnect on that level.

Try new things to get out of the rut. Add some spice to your marriage relationship (and bedroom), and before long you’ll discover that the romance is back in your marriage, and you won’t have those nagging thoughts about separation or divorce anymore.

A boring marriage is not a deal breaker in my opinion. Boredom in marriage is not a legitimate reason to throw away a marriage. Rather than trying to decide if you should stay in a boring marriage or leave your marriage in hopes of finding someone new to fill the void, make the necessary adjustments as a couple to recreate the kind of loving, committed, happy marriage you both want.

If your marriage is stuck in a rut, get your marriage unstuck and on the road to recovery. Spicing up a marriage isn’t that hard. It does take effort, work and time, but the rewards are well worth it. Below are articles that provide ideas, advice, tips and clues into how you as a couple can get out of your relationship rut and get those home fires burning all over again. Are you willing to do what it takes to save your marriage?

• Do Women Want Sex? Reasons Why Women Don’t Want to Have Sex

• How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

• A Marriage Without Regrets – Do You Regret Getting Married?

• Sex Every Day for Married Couples

• Keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage

• How to Spice Up Your Marriage

• Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?

• Empty Nest Syndrome With Children Leaving Home

Can a boring marriage be saved? Yes, of course it can. If you are willing to do the work. “It takes two to tango” and each partner in the marriage is expected to participate fully. Happy marriages don’t just “happen” to us. Both husband and wife are equally responsible for putting forth the effort and WORK into the marriage, and that includes breaking through a relationship rut and improving the marriage for both the husband and the wife.

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Every year, as our wedding anniversary approaches, we always check to find what the anniversary gift timetables show as being the traditional and modern anniversary gifts for each year. We celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary on January 25, 2010 and according to the tables and charts, the traditional gift idea is wool or copper.

The modern anniversary gift for a seventh anniversary is desk sets. Hmm, seems as though the traditional anniversary gifts would be somewhat more romantic. The idea of giving or getting a desk set as an alternative anniversary gift didn’t appeal to either one of us.

Coming up with a gift idea for my husband made of wool or copper didn’t take much time at all, especially since we were busy planning a vacation to Chicago in the winter months, where having a wool coat would come in quite handy. Fortunately, finding him a wool coat at Men’s Wearhouse in the right size and color wasn’t very hard, even though many of the local stores are already transforming their stock in preparation for spring and summer.

Just for fun, we also decided to buy copper cups that we will have specially engraved with our names and wedding/anniversary date, along with a special romantic inscription or poem of our choosing. As much as we enjoy the look and smell of flowers, we decided to skip buying Freesia flowers, which is the traditional flower for a seventh anniversary.

We enjoyed a wonderful anniversary dinner at a popular swanky restaurant, thanks in part to the
restaurant gift certificate we were given as a gift that covered most of our meal at the extravagant, expensive restaurant that specializes in juicy, delectable steaks and side dishes. It’s not typical for us to spend a lot of money on gifts for each other or eating out, especially since we both had to buy new smartphones recently, so having the gift card to offset most of the dinner costs was a welcome relief.

Traditional Anniversary Gifts vs. Modern Anniversary Gifts

We really liked the idea of getting the cups made of copper and having them engraved, because it’s so easy to forget each of the anniversary gifts we’ve given each other over the years. The traditional anniversary gift for the first anniversary in the U.S. is paper, while the modern gift is clocks, but if we were living in the U.K the gift of choice would be cotton products.

A clock? Really? Why not a new coffee pot since the gift ideas are so unromantic? Oh wait, appliances are for the fourth anniversary, so we must have managed to get through that anniversary without buying small appliances. Whew. Thankfully, the anniversary gift tables seem to show that the upcoming years bring about better and more romantic anniversary gifts.

We still have a couple more years to go before our tenth anniversary, but the traditional gift for that year is tin or aluminum gifts, while the modern gift idea is diamond jewelry. My husband has talked about “upgrading” my wedding ring at some point, but since I’m a very low maintenance-type woman who loves her current wedding ring, perhaps the diamond jewelry will be something like small, inexpensive diamond earrings or a bracelet.

Heaven only knows what gifts we gave each other on our first, second or third anniversary, and I don’t think I could remember any of the gifts we gave each other in the years since, no matter how hard I tried. I suppose that is why the engraved copper gift will be remembered for many years to come, and is now placed where we both can see it everyday.

One of our favorite stores to buy anniversary gifts that can be engraved with unique and special messages is Things Remembered. Anytime we’re hanging out at the mall, we always enjoy looking at the many gift ideas on display there, and it gives us both some good ideas for other special occasions, birthdays and holidays.

When the time comes when we are nearing our 20th, 25th and 30th wedding anniversaries, that’s when the traditional and modern anniversary gifts includes fine jewels like jade, coral, ruby, diamonds, pearl and similar precious stones. Those anniversaries will be special and fun too, and since I typically only wear my wedding ring and no other rings, necklaces, bracelets or watches, what we decide to do for gifts those years will make for some interesting conversation.

I’m interested in finding out what years we can legitimately gift each other electronic gadgets and techie gifts for our anniversary since we both are gadget freaks. If there isn’t an anniversary gift timetable that allows for gadgets as a traditional or modern anniversary gift, I put my vote in to have the timetables changed.

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Although 72 percent of Americans have fillings, caps or crowns and one in six had a dental emergency during the past 12 months, most are not prepared to deal with dental care emergencies, according to a recent survey conducted by Majestic Drug Company, a leading provider of oral care products.

Interestingly, in the national survey of 1,000 Americans, those with a lower income (less then $35,000) were more likely to have had a dental emergency in the past 12 months (vs. 14 percent of those who make $100,000 or more).

Of those who had a dental emergency, 23 percent involved a loose crown or cap, 10 percent involved a lost filling, while 72 percent said their dental emergency involved something else.

Among those who had a dental emergency involving a loose crown/cap or a lost filling, 67 percent immediately went to a dentist, and 14 percent looked for a temporary solution to purchase, while 19 percent did nothing at the time.

“You keep medical supplies on hand for cuts and bruises, but what about your teeth? It’s important to be prepared for a dental emergency in case one happens, especially if  the emergency occurs on a weekend or holiday when your dentist isn’t available,” according to Brian Gold, D.D.S., who practices in Monticello, NY.

Dental emergencies can range from a dislodged cap/crown or lost filling to a knocked out tooth to pain or a cracked denture. Majestic Drug Company explains some common dental emergencies and suggestions for treatment.

• Knocked out tooth. If you knock out a permanent tooth try gently replacing it into the tooth socket. Do not scrub the tooth clean—you can damage the fibers needed for reattachment. If that doesn’t work, place the tooth in a glass of milk to keep it moist. Get to a dentist immediately.

• Mouth pain. A throbbing pain from a toothache may indicate an infection and a dentist should be consulted as soon as possible. Tooth sensitivity can be combated by the use of desensitizing toothpaste such as Sensodyne. Irritation from mouth sores can be alleviated by the use of specialized oral pain relief products such as Orajel.

• Lost filling. Rinse out the cavity with warm water. Apply a temporary filling product such as Dentemp O.S. which can be made into a ball and pressed firmly into the cavity.

• Cracked or broken denture. According to Dr. Gold, all denture wearers should have a spare pair to use until the other is repaired. If not, it is good to keep on hand an emergency denture repair kit such as the D.O.C. Emergency Denture Repair Kit for an emergency involving a denture.

• Dislodged cap/crown. Apply a temporary dental holding product such as Dentemp O.S. and gently replace the crown onto the tooth.  Make sure you get a proper fit.

• Irritation from Braces. Sharp wires can be coated with special dental orthodontic wax to protect your gums.

Remember, temporary dental solutions are just that—they are temporary. Make sure to seek professional assistance from your dentist as soon as possible.

Health ‘Bites’: 8 Things You Didn’t Know About Your Teeth

Oral health is often the window to your overall health. Evidence has supported the link between poor oral health and such conditions as stroke, premature birth and diabetes. Other conditions, such as HIV/AIDS and osteoporosis may show preliminary signs in your mouth, before other areas of the body are affected. Also, some of your daily activities or habits such as smoking or using chewing tobacco can affect your oral health. Therefore, it’s wise to pay attention to your teeth and gums.

Brian Gold, D.D.S., Monticello NY, and consultant to Majestic Drug Company, a leading provider of oral care products, provides this valuable insight into oral hygiene.

1. Survey shows Americans unprepared for dental emergencies. Although 72 percent of Americans have fillings, caps or crowns and one in six had a dental emergency during the past 12 months, most are not prepared to deal with a dental emergency, according to the survey conducted by Majestic Drug Company. It’s wise to have a product such as Dentemp O.S. on hand as a temporary repair for loose caps or lost fillings.

2. Bulimia and acid reflux can destroy tooth enamel. Bulimics are often able to hide the disorder from others but not from their dentist.  Enamel erosion is a major sign of bulimic behavior. And acid reflux, whereby stomach acid flows into the esophagus and mouth, can cause tooth and gum erosion (possibly requiring tooth extraction and expensive restorative dental care).

3. Soda and citrus drink overuse can be caustic to tooth enamel. The average American drinks more than 53 gallons of soft drinks each year, more than any other beverage including milk, beer, coffee or water. Phosphoric acid in soda and citric acid in citrus drinks can cause tooth enamel corrosion and the sugar can cause cavities.

4. Excessive chlorine in swimming pools can erode tooth enamel. This can make your teeth more sensitive to heat and cold.

5. Many people don’t know they have bad breath. Dr. Gold suggests this test: Using dental floss or a tongue scrapper, sniff either the floss or the scrapper. If your mouth is clean, you won’t have a telltale smell.

6. Infection and trauma can cause tooth enamel defects. Nutritional deficiencies during infancy, antibiotic use such as tetracycline, high fever, and trauma can all lead to tooth enamel irregularities such as pitting.

7. Eighty percent of Americans over the age of 35 have some form of gum disease. It can range from simple gum inflammation, called gingivitis, to serious disease that results in damage to the bone.

8. One in four adults age 60 and older has lost all of his/her teeth. A good oral hygiene program should include twice daily brushing, flossing, eating a balanced diet, limiting between-meal snacks and regular visits to your dentist for professional cleaning and oral exams.

How to Make a Dental First Aid Kit

Nearly every household has some sort of a first aid kit filled with bandages, antiseptic, ointments and the like. But how many people plan ahead for dental emergencies?

“You keep medical supplies on hand for cuts and bruises, but what about your teeth? It’s important to be prepared for a dental emergency in case one happens, especially if the emergency occurs on a weekend or holiday when your dentist isn’t available,” according to Brian Gold, D.D.S., who practices in Monticello, NY.

While an emergency dental kit can never replace the care of a dentist, it can ease the pain and discomfort until you get to your dentist. Majestic Drug Company suggests keeping the following items on hand for a dental emergency and placing them in a convenient container for easy access.

• Temporary dental cement such as Dentemp® O.S. which can be used to temporarily replace a filling or secure a crown.

• A dental pain reliever that contains benzocaine or oil of cloves such as Orajel.

• Sensitive teeth can be treated with special toothpaste such as Sensodyne or Sensitive.

• Ibuprofen such as Advil or Motrin can ease the pain from the affected tooth.

• Keep soft dental floss such as Glide or Reach on hand.

• For anyone with dentures a denture repair product, such as D.O.C® Denture Repair Kit, is a must-have.

• Tweezers

• Gauze

For additional information please visit Majestic Drug Company at www.majesticdrug.com.

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• Smartphones, Blackberry Phones, Medical Blackberry and iPhone Smart Phones

Having continuous cell phone problems with our previous cell phones lead us to look into the difference between the Blackberry smartphone and the iPhone. We were both desperate to find the best cell phone and cell phone plan to fit our needs. Choosing a smart phone like the iPhone or Blackberry Bold or Curve, deciding which was the best, was a difficult decision to make.

After carefully reviewing many of the cheaper cell phones on the market and knowing what our needs are for business and personal use, we ultimately decided that we both needed a good quality smart phone. But which one? The iPhone or the Blackberry? If we decided on a Blackberry vs. an Apple iPhone, what is the best Blackberry cell phone? Is it the Blackberry Curve, the Palm, the Storm, the Pearl, the Tour, or the Blackberry Bold?

We both spent a lot of time reading iPhone reviews from current users, and it was interesting to learn that there has been numerous complaints from female iPhone users who have long fingernails. Apparently a lot of women aren’t very happy about how the iPhone design makes it difficult to type on the iPhone touch screen keypad, and that women with long fingernails or “chunky fingers” are hankering for a stylus to use with their iPhones.

I thought it was kind of funny that some women were accusing Steve Jobs and Apple, the maker of the brand spanking new Apple iPad device, of being “misogynistic” due to the fingernail problem. It’s pretty ridiculous to expect every geeky gadget or electronic device to match every possible user, long fingernails or not, and I have no problem trimming or cutting back my nails in order to not have the problem with my smartphone.

After spending some hands-on time with both the iPhone and the different Blackberry smartphones, and checking out the many features each offers, we both ultimately decided to buy a Blackberry and adjust our cell phone plan a little to allow for internet use, emailing, instant messaging and a few more necessary options.

Out of all the different Blackberry phones we reviewed and tried out, we both chose the BlackBerry Bold 9700 with AT&T over the other cell phone devices. Text messaging with the tiny little buttons has been a challenge for both of us, but with some practice and trimming back my fingernails, we both love our Blackberries. I’m still trying to figure out how to text message correctly, using both thumbs at the same time, without hitting the wrong buttons by mistake and having to continuously edit the message.

Medical Blackberry Applications for Professionals

One of the coolest features of the Blackberry are the medical Blackberry applications and software available to medical professionals, like Skyscape and the Epocrates RX for Blackberry application. Even though my profession is in the dental field vs. the “medical” field, there are several medical-related applications that are very helpful to medical or dental professionals. The “Epocrates RX for Blackberry” application for Blackberry users in the medical profession is a free mobile drug reference, with weekly updates that include monographs for more than 3,500 drugs.

Epocrates Rx is available for the iPhone, Blackberry, Palm, Android, Win Mobile and Win Smartphones. Part of my responsibility in the dental field is being the one “on call” during weekends and after-hours, handling emergency calls and contacting the doctor with relevant patient information as needed.

The ability to instantly access drug and safety information for more than 3,500 generic and brand drugs for our patients allows me to provide the doctor up-to-date information regardless of where I am at the time. The fact that it also helps make me that much more valuable to the doctor and patients is just icing on the cake. The InteractionCheck feature allows me (and the doctor) to check for interactions and/or contraindications of up to 30 drugs at a time.

Features of the Epocrates RX for Blackberry include:

• Pill pictures displayed within the drug monograph show you exactly what each drug looks like

• Provides adult and pediatric dosages for FDA-approved and off-label indications

• Black box warnings, contraindications, and caution warnings

• Adverse reactions and drug interactions, both common and serious, organized by category

• Approximate drug prescription costs for patients paying out-of-pocket

• Safety and monitoring information (ie pregnancy risk factors and more)

• Manufacturing information including DEA/FDA status

• Pharmacology information (metabolism, excretion, drug class and more)

• Notes section for jotting down notes

I’ve also heard that there is a medical dictionary for Blackberry users called Stedman’s Oxford Concise Medical Dictionary for health professionals and nurses that have a Blackberry, but I haven’t checked that out personally yet. Another dictionary option for medical professionals that a friend told me about is called the BEIKS medical dictionary for Blackberry, so I’ll be spending some time checking those out soon. Maybe I’ll find they are both one in the same, but I don’t know for sure yet.

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What are some cheap and fun things to do during family vacations to Chicago? Anyone who has been to Chicago during the winter months knows that taking a Chicago vacation requires bundling up with warm winter clothes to offset the cold, blustery, freezing temperatures and winds from the Windy City. There are a lot of fun and cheap things to do in and outside of Chicago, indoors and outdoors, including things to do in the suburbs for families, kids and adults of all ages.

Looking for fun things to do in Chicago during the summer or winter? Chicago has a lot to offer tourists and vacationers throughout the year with favorite places including museums, parks, indoor and outdoor swimming, golf courses and mini-golf courses, family entertainment centers, live theater, ice skating, comedy clubs, festivals, art galleries, restaurants, working farms and orchards, amongst thousands of other Chicago attractions.

Whether you take a vacation to Chicago in the spring, summer, fall or winter months, make sure you plan your itinerary to include the popular places in downtown Chicago and in the suburbs north, west, east and south of the city. Coupons, discount tickets and pass cards like the Go Card help a lot to reduce the overall costs of a vacation trip and tours around Chicago, or anywhere else you want to go.

The Go Chicago Card provides unlimited, FREE admission to 30 top tourist attractions, activities, tours and museums with the card, with a savings of up to 55% compared to the cost of purchasing individual tickets. See as many of the best attractions as you want for the number of days chosen for a very low price. Go Cards are available in single and multi-day increments and come with a full-color, pocket-size guidebook included. Vacations to Chicago don’t have to break the bank!

Things to Do in Chicago and Surrounding Chicago Suburbs

There are thousands upon thousands of children and family activities to do in downtown Chicago, in the suburbs and outskirts of the city, but a list of some ideas of the most popular destinations will help complete your vacation itinerary.

Haunted Trails in Joliet
1423 North Broadway (Rt. 53) in Joliet, IL – (815) 722-7800
This open year-round family entertainment center features go-karts, laser tag, rides, games, miniature golf, batting cages, restaurant and a picnic grove. Birthday parties and group package options for up to 2,000 guests are available.

Haunted Trails Family Entertainment Centers
7759 South Harlem Avenue in Burbank, IL 60459 – (708) 598-8580
This open year-round family entertainment center features 100s of games, rides, award-winning miniature golf, Go Karts & Batting Cages, Restaurant/Party room featuring karaoke. October Haunted House information can be found at (www.frightmarehauntedhouse.com). Birthday party and group packages are also available.

Hollywood Park, Crestwood Family Entertainment Centers
5051 Cal Sag Road in Crestwood, IL 60445 (708) 389-7275
Award-winner! Features miniature golf, Hollywood Speedway go-kart track, arcade games, indoor bumper cars, indoor children’s playland, rock wall & Hollywood Memorabilia on display, Café-Pizzeria.

Kidswork Children’s Museum
11 South White Street in Frankfort, IL 60423 (815) 469-1199
KidsWork is a fun, interactive educational experience for kids ages 0-8, with two floors of exhibits including theater, art room, tot spot, pet vet and more.

Odyssey Fun World
Located at 19111 South Oak Park Avenue in Tinley Park, IL 60477 (708) 429-3800
Games, Laser Tag, Batting Cages, Soft Playland, Miniature Golf, Go-Karts, Bumper Boats, Inflatable Park and much more.

Chicago Indoor Racing – Addison
Located at 2381 W. Army Trail Road, Addison, IL 60101 (847) 941-9400
Chicagoland’s most exciting indoor European Kart Racing and entertainment facility with 105,000 s/f of space, featuring CyberSport, Clark’s Café, meeting & event space for groups of up to 800 guests, and a multitude of alternative entertainment options.

CyberSport at Chicago Indoor Racing
Address is 2381 W. Army Trail Road, Addison, IL 60101 (847) 941-9400
Located inside Chicago Indoor Racing, CyberSport is a multiplayer game that blends bumper cars, lacrosse and basketball into an alternative to racing for groups of 10 to 400.

Enchanted Castle Restaurant & Entertainment Complex
1103 S. Main Street, Lombard, IL 60148 (630) 953-7860
Premier entertainment complex with 60,000 square feet of fun! Indoor go karts, laser tag, bumper cars, games, mini golf, Kid’s Quest Softplay, future Sir Bounce-A-Lot Jumpland, special events, and 625-seat restaurant with karaoke.

Safari Land
701 W. North Avenue in Villa Park, IL 60181 (630) 530-4649
Family entertainment center featuring Illinois’ largest indoor roller coaster, Kiddie go-karts, bumper cars, Tilt-A-Whirl, Monkey Jump, Merry-Go-Round, and hundreds of video & redemption games. Activity-based fees apply.

Wagner Farm
1510 Wagner Road in Glenview, IL (847) 657-1506
Historic Wagner Farm in Glenview is am 18.6 acres farm and a popular destination for locals and tourists. Families, adults and children alike learn about a real working farm. The farm is open to the public, offering educational programs for all ages, and special events throughout the year.  Public hours are Monday – Saturday from 9:00 am – 5:00 pm and Sunday from 9:00 am – 3:00 pm.  Admission is free on those days (unless there is a special event) and a farm story time is featured at 4:00 pm each Thursday.

The Mitchell Museum
3001 Central Street in Evanston IL (847) 475-1030
The Mitchell Museum of the American Indian portrays the Native American cultures of the Woodlands, Plains, Southwest, Northwest Coast and Arctic. Closed on Monday. Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday and Saturday 10:00 am – 5:00 pm. Thursday 10:00 am – 8pm. Sunday 12pm to 4pm.

The Little Red Schoolhouse Nature Center
The Little Red Schoolhouse Nature Center has 3.5 miles of trails for walking and education. The schoolhouse contains interpretive exhibits and hosts events. It is located at 9800 Willow Springs Road, Willow Springs IL (708) 839-6897.

Mayan Adventure Indoor Water park at the Holiday Inn in Elmhurst has 24,000 square feet of water activities for all ages. It’s located at 624 N. York Road, Elmhurst IL (630) 279-1100 or (877) 426-4386 The Mayan Adventure Indoor Water park is Chicagoland’s first indoor water park with 24,000 square feet of wet and wild fun for all ages. Kids, adults and families will have lots of fun slipping down the body and tube slides and landing in the plunge pool. Toddlers will delight in the interactive water station. Game room, poolside café, bar and more!

Medieval Times Dinner & Tournament
2001 N. Roselle Road, Schaumburg IL (847)843-3900 or (888) 935-6878
Journey through time to the age of chivalry and knighthood. Feast upon a scrumptious banquet and cheer your own knight to victory in the tournament of games.

Want some fun activities outside of the Chicago area? Chicagoland tourists should also keep in mind the many exciting attractions, water parks, theme parks, venues and hotspots just across the Wisconsin and Indiana state lines. The Wisconsin Dells in WI, Horseshoe Casino in Hammond Indiana and the Fair Oaks Farms in Fair Oaks Indiana are three more children and family activities to be enjoyed while vacationing in and around Chicago. The Horseshoe Casino is located at 777 Casino Center Drive in Hammond IN – (866) 711-SHOE. The address and phone number for the Fair Oaks Farms is 856 North 600 East in Fair Oak IN – (877) 536-1194.

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Ever since I published the 30 Day Sex Challenge, I’ve heard from quite a few women who say they don’t want to have sex with their husbands, while offering a large number of reasons why they don’t want to have sex. I’ve also heard from a number of men who want more sex with their wife but can’t seem to figure out why the sex isn’t happening as frequently as these guys would like. “Is having sex once every 3-9 months normal?”, one husband asked.

“I don’t want to have sex” and “she doesn’t want to have sex” were the common subject titles from women and men who are reporting sexual dysfunction and low libido in their marriages. Most, if not all, were asking “is it normal” to not want to have sex very often (or at all), and what possible reasons there might be for their wives to not be interested in having sex. They also wanted to know how often married couples are “supposed to have sex” to keep the fire alive in their marriage, and some wives reported their husbands “weren’t doing it right”. Ouch.

It came as somewhat of a surprise to me that some women said their husbands don’t know how to please a woman in bed and can’t bring her to orgasm, but these same women admit to never (ever) telling or showing their husbands what they want or need in bed to be completely satisfied sexually. Really? Come on, ladies, it works both ways. Men aren’t mind readers and most men DO want to please their wives in bed, but if you have never talked with your husband about your personal desires or sexual needs, communication in your marriage is a problem to work on. Today.

The common sexual frequency questions, “What is normal?”, “How many times do married couples have sex?”, and “How much sex is enough sex?” was answered by the Kinsey Institute. On average, 18-29 year-olds have sex 112 times per year, 30-39 year-olds have sex 86 times per year, and 40-49 year-olds have sex 69 times per year. 13% of married couples are said to have sex just a few times per year; 45% a few times per month; 34% 2-3 times a week, and 7% 4 or more times per week. Do the math. How does your sex life match up with the statistics?

In my article about ways to spice up your marriage, the importance of sex in marriage and making sex fun and exciting (vs. boring and dull) for married couples cannot be overemphasized. While sex may not be the most important part of marriage, sex becomes a huge problem in marriage if husbands or wives want sex but aren’t “getting any”. Sadly, several of the men who contacted me did so after reading my article about regretting getting married because of virtually no sex and are seriously considering divorce as their only option. Not only do these husbands say they regret getting married in the first place, these men swear they don’t want to get married ever again because of the sex problems they’ve experienced.

The fastest way to increase libido and start having more sex is to…have more sex! That alone is the reason for men AND women to at least explore the idea of the “sex every day sex challenge” for thirty days! If the men and women I have heard from is any indication of the heartbreaking reality of having a mostly sexless marriage that can easily become a deal breaker, both husbands and wives need to not only understand the reasons why some women don’t want to have sex but also work together to find ways to increase sexual desire, libido and satisfaction. Before it’s too late.

Reasons Why Women Don’t Want Sex

According to a study by University of Chicago Medical Center (published in the New England Journal of Medicine), researcher Dr. Edward Laumann concluded that some 43 percent of women suffer with sexual dysfunction, compared to 31 percent of men. Interviews were held with 1,550 sexually active women where 43 percent reported low libido, 39 percent said they had vaginal dryness problems, and 34 percent said they were unable to reach orgasm. Expert researchers have also found that while sexual activity declines somewhat with age, many women (and men) are enjoying sex well into their 60s, 70s, and 80s.

Some of the well known reasons for low libido or lack of interest in sex are: Diabetes, thyroid disease, anemia, childbirth, hormones, lack of sensation due to decreased muscle tone “down there”, painful intercourse, menopause, hysterectomy, and any medical problems that affect the sex hormones estrogen or testosterone can all result in a decreased sex drive. Other causes may be aging, unhealthy diets, excess weight or obesity, stressful lifestyles, depression, anxiety and other emotional problems, or a combination of physical or psychological factors.

“Female sexual dysfunction is characterized by a lack of desire, arousal and orgasm. Lack of desire is the chief complaint among women, affecting about one-third of them at some point in their lives”, says Cindy Meston, assistant professor of clinical psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Recent studies have focused on various aspects of female sexuality, including hormone levels, libido, how pregnancy and menopause affect a woman’s sexuality and interest in sex, and body image.

There are hundreds of possible reasons why women may not want sex, but WebMD.com listed what it says are the top ten reasons why women don’t want to have sex, which include both physical and psychological reasons:

1. Use of Oral Contraceptives
2. Use of Anti-Depressants
3. Breastfeeding
4. Lack of sleep
5. Stress
6. Disagreements with one’s mate.
7. Low levels of testosterone
8. High levels of HSBG (sex hormone binding globulin)
9. Fear of intimacy
10. Body image

A woman’s lack of sexual interest is often tied to her relationship with her partner, says Sandra Lieblum, director for sexual and marital health at the UMDNJ Robert Wood Johnson Medical School in Piscataway, N.J. “The important sex organ (for women) is between the ears. Men need a place for having sex — women need a purpose,” she says. Lack of interest in sex can also be triggered by family problems, illness or death, financial or job worries, in-law problems, childcare responsibilities, managing a career and children, previous or current physical and/or emotional abuse, past history of sexual abuse, fatigue and depression.

“Loss of libido in women, or low sexual desire, is the most common sexual problem for women and the main reason they seek sex therapy,” says Patricia Koch, Ph.D., Associate Professor of Biobehavioral Health & Women’s Studies at Pennsylvania State University and Adjunct Professor of Human Sexuality at Widener University. “It affects anywhere from 33% to 67% of women, depending on how sexual desire is defined and reported,” according to Koch, whose research specializes in loss of libido in women.

“Don’t call loss of libido a disorder,” Laumann says. “How can it be a dysfunction if one-third of women, no matter what their age, report that they lose interest? “This is normal” he says, and a growing number of researchers agree. “Low sexual desire is not a disease, it is the understandable result of an imbalance in your life…in your relationship, your life circumstances or your body,” writes Kathryn Hall, Ph.D. in Reclaiming Your Sexual Self: How You Can Bring Desire Back Into Your Life.

Libido Enhancers, Natural Aphrodisiacs, Female Enhancement Creams

If decreased sexual arousal or lack of sex in your marriage is distressing you, rule out any possible health related problems with your doctor or OB/GYN. Have your hormone levels checked by having your doctor run blood tests, especially if you are menopausal or have had a hysterectomy. Ask your doctor about a trial of testosterone cream – some women like it, while others don’t.

There are many libido enhancer products for women on the market, with many receiving raving reviews by sexually satisfied women (and their husbands), wink wink. That makes for a win-win for any marriage experiencing sex problems or lack of libido, regardless of the cause. Try Laura Corn’s book 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex for some sexy, seductive tips.

Get your Mojo back and have some fun with sexy lingerie your man will LOVE (regardless of your body size or weight), sex toys and sexy marriage games to add some new life and spice to your marriage. Try out natural aphrodisiacs for women that come in tablets, capsules, gels, creams and lubricants that work wonders to boost a woman’s sex drive and pleasure. Zestra is one of many sexual arousal aids getting rave reviews, and it’s even been discussed on talk shows like Tyra Banks and the Rachel Ray Show, amongst others.

Show your husband where your personal “pleasure map” is for your body, and teach your man how to “do it right” for you and teach him (if necessary) the desired techniques to pleasure you and satisfy you completely. Guys, be open to suggestions from your wife and don’t let your ego get in the way of having a satisfying sex life with your spouse if she tells you in some way that you’re not doing it right. Listen….and listen good. Ladies, speak up and tell your man what you want in bed! Better yet, show him… and you’ll both have a great time discovering each other all over again.

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