Telling It Like It Is

How to Manipulate Parents and Get Parents to Do What You Want

Learning how to manipulate parents, and doing whatever is deemed necessary to get parents to do what kids, teens and adult children want, sometimes turns into a virtual war between kids and parents. Manipulating parents, often referred to as emotional extortion, means that there are kids of all ages who will do just about anything to get parents to say yes to something, even when saying yes puts parents in a precarious position.

Do children manipulate parents? Oh yes they do, and adult children are just as good at stooping to whatever level they see fit to get their parents to do what the kid wants, and it doesn’t matter what it is children are trying to convince parents to do. The reality of how parents are sometimes manipulated when planning a wedding became a shocking and disturbing reality for a mom I’ve heard from before, based on the email I received this morning.

Regular readers are likely familiar with the article I wrote about who pays for what when it comes time to determine how a wedding budget will be decided and how the wedding, reception and honeymoon will be paid for and by whom. Late last year, shortly before Christmas of 2008, I exchanged a few emails with a mom who was struggling with the decision of who would pay for her daughter’s wedding.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Divorce, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Shopping, Teenagers, Women on October 29, 2009

Tags: Tags: bridezilla, difference between helping and enabling, Getting a Divorce, parenting adult children, planning a wedding, wedding budget

9 Comments »

Need a Divorce Lawyer? Common Divorce Mistakes Women Make

Amy writes, “Do I need a divorce lawyer or can I represent myself?” After 30 years of marriage her husband wants a divorce, which begs the questions: Do you need a divorce lawyer to handle your divorce case? Why? When should you hire a divorce lawyer, and when is it okay to get a do-it-yourself divorce with or without the help of divorce books or online divorce forms? Divorce laws are different in each state, and while you can get a divorce without a lawyer, doing so can be very risky if you don’t know what you are doing.

One of the biggest mistakes women (and men) make in matters of divorce is deciding not to hire an attorney when needed, or opting to share the same lawyer in an understandable yet potentially dangerous effort to cut costs. If you are getting a divorce after 15, 20 or 30 years of marriage or less, hiring a good divorce lawyer can help you avoid the all-too common divorce mistakes that can lead you into personal and financial ruin.

Reasons to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

The old saying, a man (or woman) who acts as his own attorney has a fool for a client, couldn’t be more true in many divorce cases. Even though it is not required by law to hire a divorce lawyer, there are several reasons why hiring an attorney is recommended for divorcing couples, especially those with minor children.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Children, Divorce, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Teenagers, Women on October 24, 2009

Tags: Tags: abusive relationships, child abuse, Divorce Books, divorce laws, divorce lawyer, divorce mistakes women make, divorce without a lawyer, Getting a Divorce, need a divorce lawyer, online divorce

5 Comments »

101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples

This is a guest book review by Dr Michelle Gannon, a Psychologist/Relationship Expert in private practice in San Francisco. She is also the founder of Award Winning Marriage Prep 101 Workshops with her husband, Dr Patrick Gannon www.MarriagePrep101.com. You can find her on Twitter.com/DrMichellexo

Book Review: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex by Laura Corn.

Many couples begin their relationship with the anticipation and excitement of a new romantic and sexual partner. In the beginning, most people find their sex lives pleasurable, exciting and interesting enough. When we fall in love, we release the feel good hormone called dopamine.

When we are sensual and sexual, we release the bonding hormone called oxytocin. So the good news is that the early years are fueled by both dopamine and oxytocin. However, these hormones wear off over time.

Also, the daily pressure and stress of working, raising children, dealing with finances and taking care of so many tasks can take a toll on one’s interest in sex and love making. If you think about it, it also makes sense that making love the same way to the same person year after year could get a little routine, mundane and even boring.

The good news is that couples can reclaim their sexual relationship, and even re-invent it to be more playful and exciting.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Women on August 12, 2009

Tags: Tags: laura corn, making love, sex, sex books, sexual relationship

No Comments »

How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

This is a guest post by Lissa at Owning Pink, a website and a series of women’s workshops committed to empowering women to reclaim their health, their girlytude, and their mojo.

When Lin asked me to write about how to make love to a woman, I felt myself blush. After all, I’m a gynecologist, not a sexpert. Wouldn’t she be better served by asking some Casanova or, better yet, a lesbian? As the founder of Owning Pink: A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back (www.owningpink.com), I’m all about helping women embrace joy and get in touch with their authentic selves. But, how to please a woman in bed? Hmmm. My husband and I were just in the bedroom last night, working on making our own sex life a bit more exciting, so I can honestly say I’m no sexual rock star.

However, after thinking about it for a while I realized, to my surprise, that after ten years of working with women and teaching women’s workshops, I guess I have learned a thing or two on the topic. So if you’re aiming to satisfy a woman in the sack, we girls beg you, pay attention.

20 Tips For Making a Woman Quiver

1. Every woman is different. If your super-duper signature technique had your last girlfriend hanging from the chandeliers and bellowing out to Mother Mary, good for you. But don’t expect the same thing to work on your new lover. Our bodies- and needs- vary drastically. One size does not fit all.

2. A woman’s body is like an old beater car in subzero weather. It takes a while to warm her up. Don’t expect a warm welcome if you go from zero to sixty straight to her coochie. Foreplay will take you far. Our bodies sometimes need a little coaxing. So often we live completely in our heads. Our minds are spinning with thoughts about work, the kids, and tomorrow’s to-do list. If you help bring us into our bodies by arousing different erogenous zones, like the ears, the lips, the breasts, the inner thigh, the belly button, even the toes, you help remind us that our bodies can offer pleasure if we only inhabit them.

3. Love her and earn her trust. For most women, sex and love get all tangled. Not to say there aren’t some Samantha’s out there who love to just get it on. But for most of us, we see sex as an expression of love, and if we don’t feel nurtured by you, we may not get all hot and bothered when you want to shake the sheets. Love her well and earn her trust. Pleasure will likely follow.

4. Set the mood in the bedroom. Surprise her with candles, mood music, and a flower on her pillow. Whisper sweet nothings. Don’t serve up silly platitudes, but say what you feel. When we cover our bellies with our hands and try to turn off the light, tell us we’re beautiful, just the way we are. Share how much you care. Romance gets her in the mood and helps her relax.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Women on August 7, 2009

Tags: Tags: how to make love, how to make love to a woman, how to please a woman, how to please a woman in bed

8 Comments »

How to Be a Good Son-In-Law: Building a Great Son-In-Law Relationship With Your In-Laws

This is a guest post from Jeff Nickles at My Super-Charged Life, where he shares tips, motivation and resources for living life to the fullest.

Guys, did you know that there is more to being married than just getting along with your wife?  Generally, a woman’s family is important to her.  She doesn’t just want you to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law and father-in-law.  She needs it.  Ladies, am I wrong here?

The Case for Becoming a Good Son-In-Law

Men, your wife needs you to be a good son-law and to blend into her family.  Yes, she is, in a sense, leaving them behind when she gets married to start her own family with you. But, she is going to need their support and encouragement along the way.  Trust me, your relationship with your wife will grow deeper and be easier if you develop a great son-in-law relationship with your in-laws.

Furthermore, I suggest that it is in your best interest as well.  I know that having a terrific relationship with my in-laws has been a true blessing for me.  Their love and support of me and my family has been invaluable over the years.  For example, they were there for us when an F-5 tornado destroyed our home.  In another instance, my mother-in-law took care of our newborn daughter when my wife had to go back to the hospital for a week.  I don’t know what we would have done if my in-laws weren’t so willing to help in these situations.

Having children creates a whole other reason to build a great relationship with your in-laws.  Grandparents are very important to a child’s sense of well-being.  They add depth and security to the loving relationships surrounding a child.  The better your relationship is with your in-laws, the easier it is going to be for them to grow close and be a positive role model for your children.  This is a valuable gift that you can give your kids that will serve them the rest of their lives.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on July 23, 2009

Tags: Tags: guest post, In-laws, Marriage, mother in law, son-in-law

17 Comments »

I’ve Come To Realize That…MySpace Survey Meme

I’ve been tagged with the “I’ve Come To Realize” meme on Facebook, which originated as the I’ve Come Realize MySpace Survey from bzoink.com. Colloquium and Ukok’s Place have already done their “I’ve Come To Realize” meme posts, and Judd has a weekly Sunday Stealing series where he “steals” memes from around the blogosphere, including the ‘come to realize’ MySpace survey.

RULES: “Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 “I’ve come to realize” statements. At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!”

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . is a gift bestowed upon me by my mother, although less would have been fine too.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . is a field I got into quite by accident nearly twenty years ago and it pays the bills. I like it most days, but other days…not so much.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . is a time for peace and quiet as I listen to my favorite music cd’s or radio stations, blocking out the usual stresses and problems I have no control over.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . . peace, quiet, love, acceptance, family, friends, structure, cleanliness, order, organization and my adoring husband to flourish in life. He recently told some people that I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him and that he couldn’t imagine life without me. Awww, he’s so sweet and I feel the same way about him.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . . the ability to accept or tolerate any “B.S.” involvement with my father and one of my grown sons, who were the basis for my article about toxic family members. I haven’t seen, spoken to, or heard from my father for fourteen years now, nor my son for three or four years, and I’m all the better for it.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Divorce, Family, Friendship, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Women on July 20, 2009

Tags:

2 Comments »

Do Men Want To Get Married? Top Ten Reasons Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

Do men want to get married, or not? “Do Men Really Want to Get Married” is the question being discussed in a CNN article about whether the stereotypical belief that men are dragged off to the altar to get married kicking and screaming is true or not. CNN reporter, Alex Wallen, claims to have interviewed dozens of men on how they approached marriage, where these men admitted that they had “fantasized about popping the question, getting married, even having a wedding.”

Wallen reports that numerous men reported having a “light-switch” moment when they decided they should get married to their significant other. Examples given include a life-altering event, such as one man who suddenly realized his love for his girlfriend when she helped him deal with the death of his father; or it might be something as simple as having so much fun playing arcade games together that you can’t imagine yourself having this much fun with anyone else. One man decided it was time to get married when he became angry and balled-up his fists when another man made a pass at his then-girlfriend.

“Real men are perceived as committing “till death do us part” for the wrong reasons — they marry out of convenience or under duress, and they acquiesce, kicking and screaming all the way to the altar”, according to the article. If recent statistics are correct, men are choosing to marry later in life, with the average age being 28 before experiencing their “ah ha” moment, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, there are still many young men and women getting married too young, and far too many couples get married for the wrong reasons and end up regretting it later.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on July 20, 2009

Tags: Tags: don't be that girl, getting married, Marriage, men and women, wedding planning

8 Comments »

Mother Of The Bride Dresses, Special Occasion Dresses, Cheap Bridesmaids Dresses

Are you shopping for Mother-of-the-Bride dresses, special occasion dresses, affordable Bridesmaid Dresses or Wedding Dresses for an upcoming wedding? Although I’m not the mother of the bride, but am the step-mother of the bride who is getting married soon, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find a special occasion dress to wear to the wedding.

Until now, it hadn’t occurred to me how time-consuming it would be going from one special occasion dress shop to the next in hopes of finding the perfect dress, in the right color, style and size to wear. The price of some modern, unique, beautiful Mother of the Bride Dresses that were also age-appropriate nearly caused me to keel over and faint.

Special Occasion Dresses

In some local dress shops I visited, the cost of special occasion dresses for a wedding was almost the same as a designer wedding dress for an expensive and extravagant Cinderella wedding! Fortunately, there are Cheap Bridesmaid Dresses that come in every color, style, length and size that won’t break the bank.

I did spend a few days checking out the local special occasion dress shop sections in stores like JCPenney, Dillards, Nordstrom, as well as local discount bridal consignment shops, but I didn’t find anything I liked. When I was looking for a prom dress for my daughter, I went to a bridal/prom store in Dallas called “Whatchamacallit” that has thousands of dresses, but if you’re not a professional seamstress who can fix the fraying threads, missing buttons, broken zippers and other problems, you’d be wasting your time there.

I do almost all of my shopping online, and buying a special occasion dress online is no different. I always check the sizing charts and usually buy a dress one size larger than my normal size to leave room for alterations that are almost always necessary. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all dress, unless you don’t mind your dress looking like a tent or potato sack with rhinestones or sequins sewn on.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Relationships, Reviews, Shopping, Teenagers, Women on July 15, 2009

Tags: Tags: cheap bridesmaid dresses, cinderella wedding, designer wedding, mother of the bride, mother of the bride dresses, special occasion dresses

No Comments »

How to Be a Good Daughter-In-Law: Building a Great Daughter-In-Law Relationship With Your Mother-In-Law

“Daughter-In-Laws from hell”? Are you a good daughter-in-law to your husband’s mother, or soon to be mother-in-law? Can you honestly say to yourself, “I am a good daughter-in-law”? Being a good daughter-in-law and building a great relationship with your husband’s mother, and maintaining that good relationship, can be easier than you think or more challenging and difficult than you could ever imagine.

Ever since I wrote How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law, I’ve been inundated with emails from mothers who describe their current or future daughter-in-law as the daughter-in-law from hell; jealous; selfish; manipulative; controlling; disrespectful; rude; conniving; evil and psychotic, just to name a few not-so-nice descriptive words about daughter-in-laws.

Some mothers used “daughter-in-law hates me” and “I hate my daughter-in-law” in the email subject line to describe the difficulties and animosity felt between the mother and daughter-in-law. A few mothers wrote about their relationship problems with a son-in-law as well, but the typical problems existing between mothers and daughter-in-laws are much more common than those with a current or future son-in-law.

I’ll be dealing with the issues of being a good son-in-law in an upcoming article, but for now let’s just stick with you, the daughter-in-law.

Mother-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law Problems

After reading and responding to many emails, as well as visiting websites, message boards and
online support groups where mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws complain about each other and their problems, it became obvious to me that there is a tremendous amount of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, hyper-sensitivity and mean-spirited gossip being said about each other. But rarely any advice or real solutions being shared.

Based on the complaints posted on those sites, it became apparent to me that most daughter-in-laws are not evil or cruel, but are misguided and feel threatened. Daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws are both guilty of not even attempting to understand the others wants, needs and perspective, but are very quick to criticize and ridicule the other.
Read the rest of this entry »

Posted in Dating, Elderly, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on July 13, 2009

Tags: Tags: daughter in law problems, online support groups, parenting adult children, Toxic Relationships

18 Comments »

Today Is My Birthday and I’m Taking The Day Off

Another year has rolled around and today is my Birthday once again. Happy Birthday to Me! Is it just me or does it seem that Birthdays seem to come a lot faster the older we get? Hmm

Anyway, since I’ll be out of the office and not spending much time online today, but basking in the sun of doing absolutely nothing but fun things with my husband and family, I want to share some articles from other blogs for your reading pleasure.

I also want to welcome new subscribed readers from the DFW area, especially those living in and around Plano, Frisco, Allen, McKinney TX and surrounding suburbs. Thank you and welcome to Telling It Like It Is!

How to Take Fireworks Pictures – by my friend Todd Morris. I’m not much of a photographer myself, so I appreciate the tips and advice offered on taking good fireworks pictures. Now, if I could just manage to keep my thumb from appearing in photos I take with my digital camera, I’d be a happy camper.

How to Get More Time to Blog – by another friend Michael Martine. Finding the time to blog and post articles used to stress me out, but I’ve come to the personal decision that I write as often as I possibly can and when I have something to say. If I don’t post an article for a week or two, so be it. Readers that are truly interested in what I have to say are very understanding and patient, and don’t mind a brief lull in postings.

Living Your Passion: What It Takes To Be An Entrepreneur – by Jeff Nickles. I thoroughly enjoyed Jeff’s article on being an entrepreneur and the “grit” and determination needed to achieve our goals, ignoring the self-doubt or fear of success and just going for it! We really are our own worst enemies when it comes to creating and building our own success stories.

Enjoy your day! I know I will! See you soon!

Posted in Family, Friendship, Humor, Marriage, Relationships, Reviews, Women on July 5, 2009

Tags: Tags: happy birthday

14 Comments »