Are parents obligated to pay college tuition for their kids to attend college? Should parents pay for college or should college students be responsible for paying college related expenses including tuition, with or without their parents help? The question of who pays for college continues to be a controversial (sometimes heated) debate between kids planning to attend college, and their parents.

Parents, are you responsible for paying your kids college education or not? If parents are supposed to pay for college, how much should parents pay towards tuition, books, housing costs, transportation, gas, insurance, food, clothing, entertainment and miscellaneous expenses for college? Where do parents draw the line between helping kids attend college and not jeopardizing their savings and retirement accounts? To say that your retirement plans are more important than your children’s college funds is putting it mildly.

The all too common belief some people have that it is somehow a parents obligation to pay for college, as if parents “owe” their kids a paid-for college education, reeks of unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement in today’s society. Parents who cannot afford to pay for their kids to attend college, or choose not to pay some or all college expenses for their own personal or financial reasons, are almost made out to be bad parents.

These parents are accused of not loving their kids, not wanting their children to be successful in life, and not worthy of being called parents amongst other things. Loving your children has nothing to do with who is going to pay for college, or a parent’s desire for their kids to become successful, independent adults. In an article entitled “don’t pay your children’s college education”, the writer aptly points out that paying for college is not about love, sacrifice or devotion towards kids. There is much more to it than that.

So, parents have to pay for college if they have the money, right? Wrong. “How am I going to pay for my college education if my parents won’t pay, can’t afford to help, or refuse to fill out the FAFSA?” is a common question.

Who Pays For College?

Opinions on why parents should pay for college vs. parents who should not pay for college vary, as expected. Even “personal finance experts” can’t seem to agree. Words like should, must, have to, obligation, responsibility and similar terms used by college-aged kids expecting their parents to pay for all college expenses with little or no “skin in the game” themselves is ludicrous. I have yet to find a parenting manual that states parents must pay for their child’s college education, whether parents can afford the costs or not.

Don’t get me wrong, education is important. Many parents already do what they can to ensure their kids get a great education until high school graduation. But, parents do not owe their children a college education. Parents paying for college is not a kids “right” to a free ride through college, but is a parents choice to decide whether to pay or not pay for any part of their kids higher education, how much, and on what terms.

You can take loans for college but not for retirement. Even financial expert Suze Orman says it is financially irresponsible and downright dangerous for parents to basically write a blank check from the bank of mom and dad to pay for their kids college education, or take out a second mortgage to pay for college. IF parents can afford to pay for college and choose to do so, then by all means pay for your child to go to college to whatever degree you are financially able to do so, without sacrificing your savings account or retirement account.

How to Pay For College

Planning ahead towards college costs with money set aside in a 529 plan for your kids education is a smart option for parents, if they choose to and can afford it. Parents can also help their children look for scholarships, federal grants, student loans and sources of “free money” for college. Do not allow your children, or society in general, to guilt-trip or demand that you pay for your child’s college education if you cannot afford to pay or choose not to pay for your kids to go to college. It is entirely up to you, the parents.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this article suggesting the “federal government and the schools consider it the family’s primary responsibility to pay for the child’s education”, wrongly implying that parents are legally required to pay for college. Let the whining and moaning commence. Parents who have college-aged kids have already fulfilled their responsibility to their kids education throughout elementary, middle/intermediate and high school. The article about the federal government even suggests kids who have Christian or religious parents should hurl scripture quotes from the Bible at parents in order to manipulate or coerce parents into paying for college.

Should parents pay for college or should parents make kids find a job and work through college to help themselves get a great education? A parents legal and moral obligation to care and provide for their children ends when kids reach the age of 18 and they are considered to be adults in the U.S. While parents have an obligation to care for minor children and provide them the best education possible, parents are not obligated or responsible for adult children. Unfortunately, many parents continue to pay for and enable their grown kids anyway.

If you are a parent researching information on the advantages and disadvantages of paying for all or some of your kids college education, carefully consider and bookmark these devil’s advocate articles on who should pay for college, and who should not pay and how helping pay for college can lead to trouble. The decision is ultimately yours, so choose wisely, unless you don’t mind eating cat food in your elderly years. The book The Best Way to Save for College-A Complete Guide to 529 Plans by Joseph Hurley comes highly recommended by finance expert Suze Orman.

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When planning a modern wedding, who pays for what? In decades past, because of the old tradition of dowry, the bride’s family traditionally paid for most or all the wedding costs. “Traditionally”, around the 17th or 18th century, the brides mother and/or father would pay for everything needed for the wedding and reception, including the venue (location of wedding/reception), bridal gown, music, flowers, venue, food, bar costs, gratuities and anything else. Then they also give a generous wedding gift to the happy newly married couple. However, times have changed.

Nowadays, it is very common for the bride and groom to pay for all or most wedding expenses themselves, or to more evenly split the wedding related expenses among both sets of parents. Why have the traditional rules of who pays for what in weddings changed, and how should engaged couples, parents and families deal with the more modern view of wedding etiquette in relation to the wedding budget and the question of who will be paying for the cost of the wedding?

There are a variety of reasons for the change from traditional to modern in regards to wedding planning and the budget. One reason is that people are choosing to live together before marriage for a period of time, deciding to get married later in life and are more financially established in their careers at the time of their wedding. Another reason is that there are more women working than ever before, compared to the ancient, archaic time period of women staying home “barefoot and pregnant” while men worked outside the home, so brides nowadays are often able to help pay for their own weddings. A third reason is the rising costs of weddings and the increased financial burden placed on parents who may not be able to afford paying for their son or daughter’s expensive dream wedding.

I am a firm believer in tradition, traditional values and beliefs, but I also believe in living within your means and adults paying their own way in life. There is often a big difference between the “traditional” division of wedding expenses and what people/parents can legitimately afford to pay without going into debt, or using their life savings or retirement accounts to pay for a wedding. Hence the numerous emails that continue to fill my inbox from mothers and fathers whose son or daughter is planning a wedding they cannot afford, and the sometimes manipulative tactics used to get the parents to pay more than they can afford.

Since writing the “who pays for what” article in answer to a disabled mother’s problem with her daughter demanding she pay more of the wedding than she could afford, the emails and questions just keep on coming. This time, rather than restating what I’ve already said on the subject, I decided to provide a variety of helpful links to online articles talking about Who Pays For What in Weddings as reference points for brides, grooms and parents.

Note: References to “traditionally who pays” are not rules written in stone but are merely guidelines for creating a wedding budget and determining who pays for the wedding. Sometimes the traditional wedding planning checklist needs to be modified for financial reasons. Brides, grooms and families should understand that your own personal finances will dictate what type of wedding/reception you can have, and who ultimately pays for what is entirely up to you and your families and their ability to pay.

Modern Weddings – Who Pays For What?

Engaged couples should first sit down with both families soon after announcing the engagement to work out the details of the wedding budget and who will pay for what. Without further ado…

Bridal Guide Magazinesays, “If you’re lucky, your families will approach you and your fiance’ to let you know what, if anything, they plan to contribute to your wedding. If your parents don’t initiate a conversation, you will need to, and the sooner you do it the sooner you can start hammering out a realistic wedding budget.”

“After announcing their engagement, the bride and groom sit down and estimate what they’ll spend on the wedding, probably after finding a reception site and making general decisions about theme, style, time of day etc. They then approach their parents and after describing what they’ve decided on so far, say gently, “We were wondering if you would be able to pitch in for any of the costs.” The parents may look at the budget and say, “We’d like to pay for the reception food and the flowers” for example. They may also offer a set amount they’ll contribute. If their parents say they can’t afford to contribute, or only offer a small amount, the bride and groom say, “Thank you for considering,” and perhaps have to revise their budget or find creative ways to pay for the wedding.” Read more here about who pays for what.

“64% of bride and grooms are breaking with the age old tradition of the brides parents footing the bill, by paying for their own wedding. With less than 18% of couples preferring to stick with tradition and allowing the brides parents to pay for the wedding and only 13% of the bride and grooms parents joining together to pay for their children’s big day. With nearly a thousand couples polled the results came as no surprise, confirming the steady shift in the way society views individual responsibilities, with financing for your own wedding being no exception.” Read more here about poll study results on who pays for modern weddings.

“Tradition was not financially kind to the bride’s family. Fortunately, at least if you’re looking at the situation from the viewpoint of that family, times have changed. Rather than burden one family with practically the entire cost of a wedding, it is common practice these days for both families—and sometimes the bride and groom—to share expenses. The best way to decide who will pay for what is for both families (or all the families that apply) and the couple to sit down together and have a frank discussion about what each party can afford to contribute.” Read more here about couples and families paying for weddings and wedding loans.

“Get together with every single person who might contribute to the total cost of the wedding. That means all parents, you and your fiancé, and anyone else with a financial interest (may you be so lucky as to have an eccentric and wealthy aunt). This is the fastest way to find out how big you can dream. More and more often today, weddings are paid for by a two-family counsel—and more than 60 percent of brides and grooms are paying for at least part of the costs as well. This makes it pretty clear that the old rules of divvying up the wedding bills simply no longer apply.” Read more here on traditional vs modern wedding planning and costs.

“Gone are the days when a wedding means the bride’s father stands with an open palm awaiting a bill for all the expenses. Although traditionally the bride’s family was responsible for most (if not all) of the wedding finances, today’s perspective is one of practicality and a general respect for individual outlooks and varying alternatives. Wedding etiquette has evolved to take a host of variables into account. Current day ideologies embrace doing what works best for each couple and their family. No one should feel obligated to accept a financial burden, and couples should understand who will be paying well in advance of the selection process. Keeping everyone’s comfort in mind will allow for a wedding that is both spectacular and affordable.” Read more here…

“Forget the archaic rule that says certain people have to pay for certain things. The bride’s parents need not take out a third mortgage to pay for the wedding, and the groom’s parents are not off the hook either. Besides, the two of you might even be covering a good chunk of the expenses yourselves. The best way to work it out? Sit down with pencil, paper, and calculator and figure out what you really want and can afford. Keep in mind that informal weddings are usually smaller (and therefore cheaper), and formal weddings tend to be larger (and therefore more expensive). Here’s a list of the traditional costs for everyone involved — but remember, these “rules” are made to be broken!” Read more here…

“The most contentious subject for any wedding (and one that, without a doubt, will cause the most arguments) is money. Now you’ve set your budget you need to guide yourselves through the murky waters of working out who’s responsible for paying for what. Whilst traditionally the bride’s parents used to pay for the majority of the wedding, these days with a multitude of different familial circumstances it’s not so cut and dried. The costs may be divided equally between the two families. The bride and groom may choose to pay for the wedding themselves. The bride and groom may pay for majority of the costs with both families contributing towards elements that they’d like to help with, eg. the flowers, transport or cake. The two families may offer to contribute a certain amount towards the wedding, to be spent as the bride and groom wish. If either or both sets of parents are divorced a compromise can usually be found using a mixture of options.” Read more here…

“These days, the cost of a wedding makes a year at Harvard and Yale look affordable. How are you going to scrape together the bucks so you can have the bash you want? Put that idea about sticking up the Federal Reserve on hold. You have options — legal, time-honored, respectable options. The kind of options that, unless you’re in the habit of bouncing checks, won’t land you behind bars. Here’s a rundown of some of them, plus their pros and cons. Keep in mind that a combination of two or more may be how you end up getting your wedding paid for.” Read more here…

“Nowadays, the cost of even the most modest wedding can be astronomical, but times are changing (phew!) and often the family of the bride, the couple themselves and even the groom’s family can contribute to costs. A wise father will set his budget as early as possible and advise the couple as to what he is able, and prepared, to spend. Then there can be no misunderstandings and the couple are able to budget accordingly and decide where their priorities lie.” Read more here…

“There was a time when the Father of the Bride was essentially expected to hand over a blank check in order to cover almost all wedding expenses. That was during an age when marriage was the ceremonial transferal of responsibility for (and possession of) the bride, from her father to her husband. She usually came with a really neat dowry, like two donkeys and a sack of lard. While many still count on Dear-Old-Dad (and Mom!) to foot the bill, most contemporary couples are dealing with a more complicated set of rules, or lack thereof. This is due, in part, to the fact that many couples are getting married later in life and therefore are more financially stable when they do; and also because a greater number of women are enjoying successful and lucrative careers than was the case in previous generations.” Read more here…

“Weddings can be elaborate and very expensive or they can be fairly simple and affordable. The decision about a wedding budget is one that needs to be made by the bride and groom and their families-together. While tradition dictates that the bride’s family covers most of the expenses of a wedding, that tradition is not necessarily relevant today. Particularly with marriages that occur after the bride and groom are educated and established, many of today’s weddings are primarily financed by the bride and groom themselves. In other cases, the traditional divisions of responsibilities for wedding expenses are more flexible than ever.” Read more here…

Are you getting married soon? Have you initiated the “money talk” with your parents yet? Who will pay for your wedding, reception and/or honeymoon? Are you sharing costs equally? Are you paying for your wedding yourselves or are you and your families splitting the costs in some way?

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I have been a Skype user for a long time now, keeping in contact with friends and family living in the U.S and abroad. One of my family members lives in Spain, and having Skype to at least instant message or chat while on different time zones has been great. Email only does so much, but Skype is better. While instant messaging with Skype helps keep me closely connected with family and friends who don’t live nearby, instant messaging on Skype isn’t enough for me anymore.

I’ve known about webcams for Skype but hadn’t taken the time to learn how to use Skype with a webcam, and I needed to find out more about choosing a good webcam to use with Skype. I’ve heard there is a way to use a digital camera with Skype too, but using Skype on my home computer with a webcam is all that matters to me at this point.

What is Skype?

Skype’s free downloadable software allows you to talk, instant message and make video calls to other Skype users for FREE. Skype uses your broadband internet connection to make unlimited free voice and video calls over the internet through your computer. You can also call phones and mobile cell phones and send text messages at very cheap rates – a lot cheaper than typical long distance/international plans.

The “Skype Out” features allows users to make cheap international calls with Skype to phones and mobile cell phones at a mere fraction of the cost of current international rates, and this is one of my favorite features since it allows me to call Spain for mere pennies. When my dad was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma awhile back, calls were made from Spain to check on my dad’s health status and the total cost was just a few cents.

Why use Skype and Webcams for Skype?

Webcam dangers are a reality in this crazy world we live in, but there are some benefits to using a webcam that is hooked up and connected with Skype that I can’t pass up. There are many good, valid reasons to use a webcam, whether it is for business or personal use. Some people choose to use webcams to keep an eye on what is going on at their house while they are away. Military personnel stay closely connected with their husband, wife and/or children while they are working far away, perhaps overseas.

Others like to watch what their pets are doing in the backyard, and what problems or chaos the dog is creating back there. Some use webcams to watch their children at school, daycare or in the care of babysitters in their home. Grandparents can use webcams to see their grown children and grandchildren who live far away and stay connected via video conferencing, which is my primary reason for deciding to buy a webcam to use with Skype.

Who should get Skype?

Anyone interested in staying connected with family and friends who don’t live nearby should download Skype. If you are wondering why you should get a webcam to use with Skype, especially if you are grandparent with grandchildren who live far away, understand that there are many advantages to using webcams to stay connected with family and friends. Having a webcam set up with Skype allows me to see my children and grandchildren on live video, and where they can also see Grandma and Grandpa talking to them too.

I’ve heard of some grandparents who use a webcam with Skype to read story books to their grandchildren, and grandparents are able to see their grandchild’s school report card and help with homework, amongst many other wonderful possibilities. My two grandkids are still too young to read children’s books to via webcam, but having the ability to see my grandchildren grow and learn how to talk (and say Grandma, Grandpa, Nana or Papa) makes for some fun times on Skype.

What is the Best Webcam for Skype?

One of the best things about being on Facebook is the ability to get suggestions and recommendations from friends and family on any given product, and that includes our search for a new smartphone as well as finding the best webcam to buy to use with Skype. Webcam prices vary, and while we certainly wanted a good quality webcam with clear imagery, we didn’t want to spend a lot of money on the webcam.

Thanks to some great advice from Shayne at GrandparentsTLC, we were able to narrow down the webcam choices to a great quality webcam with built-in microphone that is very inexpensive and works extremely well with Skype. Since we weren’t knowledgeable about the differences between the more expensive webcams versus the cheap webcams (and how well the cheaper webcams would work), Shayne’s suggestions were a big help.

It would never have crossed my mind that there are different webcams to choose from depending on if you are a Mac user versus a Windows PC like we use. Since I’ve never used a Mac computer yet, despite knowing how popular they are, I didn’t need to find a compatible webcam for Mac but I was able to tell a friend of mine about those since she is a Mac user.

If you are looking for a webcam to use with Skype, you don’t need to spend a lot of money on a webcam. The Macally IceCam webcam we bought is inexpensive, and it only took a few minutes to install and hook up the webcam to the computer and have it running perfectly with Skype. We didn’t have any problems getting the webcam to work right, and after testing the webcam on Skype a couple of times, our webcam was set and ready to video conference and chat on Skype with the kids, grandkids, friends and family that use Skype.

Aside from the Blackberry smartphones we recently bought, buying the webcam to use with Skype for the benefit of staying closely connected with the kids and grandchildren was money well spent. Every computer-user grandparent should get Skype and get a webcam to use with Skype, in my opinion. Money very well spent.

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Do you need to make online cash? A lot of people feel the need to make money online and if you are someone who wants to earn extra money from home in your spare time or on a full-time basis to help pay the bills, freelance writing should be at the top of your list of things to learn how to do.

There are a lot of ways to make money from home, and I’m not referring to stuffing envelopes, doing paid online surveys or trying to make money mystery shopping. Nor am I going to recommend any kind of “earn money at home” job that is nothing but a scam. If you want or need to earn money from home, you need to understand that there are scammers on the internet just waiting to take your money with bogus offers of how to earn money fast and easy. Beware of at-home jobs that are nothing but a ripoff!

Learning how to become a freelance writer is not rocket science. You don’t need a college degree, a high school diploma or even the best typing skills. If you can read and write in English, you can earn money from home fulfilling any number of freelance writing jobs online or offline to earn extra money at home on your computer. I make money typing at home on my computer keyboard as a writer, and if I can earn money at home writing, so can you.

How to Become a Freelance Writer For Beginners

There are a lot of stay-at-home moms making money hand over fist as freelance writers online and offline who started off as beginners, writing in their spare time while taking care of their children at home. Men and women of all ages are finding that freelance writing is an excellent job opportunity to make money from home, and parents who are working part-time or full-time outside the home but want to stay home with their kids can easily learn how to make money at home as work-at-home moms or dads.

How much money you can earn as a freelance writer depends on you and how much time and effort you are willing to put into starting and building your freelance writing business, to the point where writing and earning money from home becomes second nature to you. You don’t need special equipment or a fancy home office either. If you have a chair to sit on, a table or desk for your computer and some kind of Internet connection, you can become an online freelance writer starting today with no previous experience or special qualifications.

You may be wondering, how do I become a freelance writer if I don’t know how or where to begin? All you need to start freelance writing is a helpful guide that provides the step-by-step instructions to becoming a successful freelance writer, written by knowledgeable and experienced writers who work from home as freelance writers and know what they are talking about. Who better to get advice about freelancing from than people who are actually earning money themselves as freelance writers?

In the 65-page freelance writing guide ebook called “Freelance Superstar”, beginner and intermediate freelance writers are provided easy-to-understand tips and instructions on how to become a freelance writing superstar, such as:

• How to start a freelancing career

• How much money freelance writers can make

• Review list of 24 online writing gig job sites

• Ways to get high-paying clients

• Difference between regular writing and SEO writing

• Difference between content writing and copywriting

• How to improve your writing skills

• How to get repeat business and clients

• How to get paid as a freelancer

And that’s just for starters! Bonus items available for a limited time are:

1. Email templates you can use to solicit clients
2. Process map for your freelance career
3. Gorgeous “Portfolio” WordPress themes
4. Step-by-step blogging video tutorials

Authors Gobala Krishnan and Monika Mundell have both been earning a cool full-time income from freelance writing for years, and through their freelance writing guide you too can discover exactly how to become a well-paid, successful freelance writing superstar in your own right. Do you want to be a freelance writer? What are you waiting for?

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Do you want to become a freelance writer and get paid to write online or offline as a well paid writer? Do you know what freelance writing is and how much money you can make as a freelancer? Do you want to quit your job and work from home writing freelance articles, perhaps as a newspaper or magazine writer, and get paid to write?

Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom or you lost your job in the recession and want to know how to become a freelance writer and work for yourself without the stress and worry of where the next paycheck will come from. Well then, you should seriously consider the fact that freelance writing is an excellent job opportunity you or anyone else can do in the comfort of your own home!

What is freelance writing? Wikipedia defines a freelancer or freelance writer as a self-employed person who pursues a profession without a long-term commitment to any particular employer. There are many different types of freelance writing gigs and jobs available where companies and individuals seek to hire freelance writers who know how to produce great content on the web or print copy, such as newspapers and magazines.

Freelance Writing Business

How much do freelance writers make? Some freelance writers make six figures a year, more than $100,000 per year, and while the idea of making a six figure income as a freelancer sounds really good, not everyone will get paid that kind of money. As a freelance writer, I’m sometimes asked “how much do you make as a freelance writer?”, but as a rule I never discuss money or how much I get paid as a freelancer.

Some writers disclose their freelance earnings, and based on some polls I’ve seen about money made doing freelance work, some get paid more than others as should be expected. Freelance writing jobs offer many ways to make money with your own freelance business online or offline, getting paid good money to write with or without an online website or blog, such as writing for magazines or newspapers.

Tip: Magazine writing pays very well, and copywriting pays REALLY well! Before you can start getting paid as a magazine writer or any type of writer, you have to know how to become a writer without any special qualifications or degree whatsoever. If you have writing experience and expertise, all the better, but being a freelance writer does not require any experience in writing. You can read and write in English, right?

The best part is, becoming a writer and getting paid to write is not hard! Anyone with a good grasp of the English language can become a professional writer and get paid good money for their writing skills and abilities. You are never too old to become a writer, so if you are an empty-nester or getting up in age, now would be a great time to start your own freelance writing business and start getting paid to write.

Freelance Writing Guide

If you are ready to start your own freelance writing career and get paid as a writer, you should know that there is a lot of information and misinformation about freelance writing on the web. However, I can personally vouch for this brand new freelance writing guide by Monika Mundell and Gobala Krishnan, who have collaborated in writing this joint venture (JV) guide to freelance writing.

New beginner writers always have a lot of questions about how to become a freelance writer, including setting your freelance writing rates (how much you should charge); finding your niche or topics to write about; branding your business and using business social networking or social media sites to build your brand; ways to find freelance writing gigs; managing your business and health as a writer, just to name a few.

After carefully reading and following the step-by-step instructions in this guide titled How to Quit Your Job and Make a Living From Freelance Writing, beginner freelance writers and more-experienced writers will learn everything they need to know about freelance writing, how to become a freelance writer and ways to get paid more money for the freelance work writers write for clients.

If you want your freelance business to be a successful money-making business, writers must treat their freelance writing business as a business rather than as a hobby. Monika and Gobala do a great job of explaining that if you want to build a business as a freelance writer, where you get paid enough money to quit your job and become a full-time writer online or offline, it requires strong work ethics and great time management amongst other things.

Some of my favorite things included in the guide is a list of 24 freelance writing job sites online to get paid to write as a freelancer; how much money you can expect to be paid as a freelance writer; tips and advice on maintaining good health and posture as a writer, and the pros and cons of each job bidding site. Like I’ve said, there is a lot of misinformation on the internet about freelance writing, but if you are serious about becoming a freelance writer and want to start getting paid to write, you must get Monika and Gobala’s freelance writing guide and ignore people telling you that you can’t make money as a freelance writer. Yes you can!

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Learning how to manipulate parents, and doing whatever is deemed necessary to get parents to do what kids, teens and adult children want, sometimes turns into a virtual war between kids and parents. Manipulating parents, often referred to as emotional extortion, means that there are kids of all ages who will do just about anything to get parents to say yes to something, even when saying yes puts parents in a precarious position.

Do children manipulate parents? Oh yes they do, and adult children are just as good at stooping to whatever level they see fit to get their parents to do what the kid wants, and it doesn’t matter what it is children are trying to convince parents to do. The reality of how parents are sometimes manipulated when planning a wedding became a shocking and disturbing reality for a mom I’ve heard from before, based on the email I received this morning.

Regular readers are likely familiar with the article I wrote about who pays for what when it comes time to determine how a wedding budget will be decided and how the wedding, reception and honeymoon will be paid for and by whom. Late last year, shortly before Christmas of 2008, I exchanged a few emails with a mom who was struggling with the decision of who would pay for her daughter’s wedding.

This poor mom, who is disabled and barely able to get by on her meager income, was dealing with her own Bridezilla. Her daughter, who I referred to in the “who pays for what” article as “darling daughter”, has champagne taste on a beer budget. This young, 20-year-old girl pulled every manipulative tactic on her mom and dad that she could muster, in order to have the wedding of her dreams.

Bridezilla wanted what she wanted and she was determined she would get her Cinderella dream wedding, regardless of what the total cost of her wedding finally came to, and who would end up paying for it. Her want list for her wedding was extravagant to say the least, especially when it was to be paid for by parents who don’t have the means to pay for such an expensive wedding. She wanted it all – everything you can imagine that would go into having an expensive wedding, fit for someone on a champagne budget.

She wanted a horse-drawn carriage ride to the wedding venue and limo services to the reception for all eight of her attendants, plus the matching number of groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer. Add to that the designer wedding gown she “had” to have, an expensive wedding cake and grooms cake, all the fancy wedding decorations and everything else this young lady believed she needed to fulfill her dream wedding.

Throughout our email exchanges, I provided this mom with numerous links to informative articles on ways to reduce the cost of a wedding to an amount that was manageable for her, her ex-husband and the groom’s family. Bridezilla cried, begged, pleaded, stomped her feet, called her mom mean and hateful names, told her mom and dad they owed her the wedding she had dreamed of all her life with one guilt trip after another, and threw a major hissy-fit every time something wasn’t going her way. Wow.

Once our email discussions were over, I wrote the “who pays for what” article and set it up to go live in March of this year, which is right about the time of year when “wedding season” starts kicking in and brides with their moms start working on wedding plans and searching for information online. Did Bridezilla get her dream wedding? Oh yes she did, and how.

“Mom” racked up a killer credit card bill for her daughter’s wedding, and the cost of the wedding that now sits on her credit cards totaled close to $10,000. That’s just the disabled mom’s bill, and when you add another $20,000 or so that was split between Bridezilla’s dad and the groom’s parents, I’d say she got her dream wedding alright.

Her wedding was held during one of the most popular and most expensive months to get married, Saturday, June 6th. The mom put her share of the wedding costs on credit cards, high-interest credit cards to be exact, which was the only way she could help pay for her daughter’s wedding. Guess what has happened?

After getting married just a few months ago, dear “darling daughter” wants a divorce, and she actually expects her mom and dad to “help” pay for her divorce lawyer! There are no real “grounds for divorce” to speak of, no accusations of abuse of any kind, she just “changed her mind” and decided she doesn’t want to be married after all.

Considering the sensitive nature of some of the topics I discuss on Telling It Like It Is, not much surprises or shocks me anymore, but THIS shocked me. Not only was this young lady way too young to get married in the first place, but she’s also one of the most selfish, ungrateful, immature, unappreciative, entitled, manipulative, spoiled brats I’ve ever heard of in all my life.

Who pays for the divorce? Only time will tell, but if past experience is a sign of what is likely to occur in the near future, it’s not looking good for this mom, and probably even the dad. What do you think? Do you think this mom and/or dad should pay for this girl’s divorce after getting married about 5 months ago? By the way, this mom had no problems with me writing about her situation as long as I didn’t use her real name, which I wouldn’t do anyway. Is this situation crazy or what?

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Amy writes, “Do I need a divorce lawyer or can I represent myself?” After 30 years of marriage her husband wants a divorce, which begs the questions: Do you need a divorce lawyer to handle your divorce case? Why? When should you hire a divorce lawyer, and when is it okay to get a do-it-yourself divorce with or without the help of divorce books or online divorce forms? Divorce laws are different in each state, and while you can get a divorce without a lawyer, doing so can be very risky if you don’t know what you are doing.

One of the biggest mistakes women (and men) make in matters of divorce is deciding not to hire an attorney when needed, or opting to share the same lawyer in an understandable yet potentially dangerous effort to cut costs. If you are getting a divorce after 15, 20 or 30 years of marriage or less, hiring a good divorce lawyer can help you avoid the all-too common divorce mistakes that can lead you into personal and financial ruin.

Reasons to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

The old saying, a man (or woman) who acts as his own attorney has a fool for a client, couldn’t be more true in many divorce cases. Even though it is not required by law to hire a divorce lawyer, there are several reasons why hiring an attorney is recommended for divorcing couples, especially those with minor children.

If you have limited or no assets to divide, no children or dependents that require court administered decisions about child custody, child support, visitation, property division, spousal support or alimony, getting a do-it-yourself divorce (DIY) using self-help resources to file your divorce pro se may be an effective way of reducing the cost of getting divorced. But, if your spouse has hired an attorney or is planning to, get yourself your own lawyer a.s.a.p.

The divorce process can be very complicated, so if you don’t know your rights or how your state laws may affect the outcome of your divorce, you would be wise to find a good divorce lawyer to protect your interests and those of your children. Divorce is a time in your life when ignorance is not bliss, and if you don’t do what is necessary to protect yourself throughout the entire process, you’ll end up feeling as though you were taken advantage of and feeling like a victim of the court system.

Common Divorce Mistakes

Unfortunately, many divorce cases turn into a virtual war zone, with false accusations being thrown back and forth by using what is commonly referred to as dirty divorce tricks. Angry, controlling, vindictive men, women and mean divorce lawyers have been known to use dirty tactics, schemes and sneaky games in order to gain an unfair advantage over their soon-to-be ex with a “win at all costs” mindset.

Nasty, dirty tricks are especially used in divorce cases involving young children where child custody, child support and visitation are at stake. If your lawyer or someone you know recommends using any number of dirty tricks in your divorce proceedings, do not under any circumstances play along with such vicious and underhanded tactics. The mental and emotional damage done to children by these methods can last a lifetime, causing your children to grow up resenting you for putting them through such a hostile divorce.

If you have already filed for divorce or are planning to file for divorce from your husband (or wife), it’s important that you carefully and calmly prepare for divorce and that includes putting aside the anger, animosity, frustration or hatred for your spouse in order to think clearly and rationally.

Get your paperwork in order and do your homework by researching the divorce laws in your state. Make copies of all financial documents including debts and assets, bank accounts, property you own and any investments (pension plans, insurance and stock options). Also make a complete and detailed list of the reasons why your marriage is over and why you wish to be granted a divorce, and any special considerations you may want to request from the judge deciding on your case.

Parental Alienation

Parental Alienation, also known as Hostile Aggressive Parenting, is a serious and all-too-common mistake made in many divorces involving children, often with tragic consequences. Learn and know the signs of parental alienation and act quickly to resolve problematic issues that may arise, preferably with the help of a skilled divorce lawyer.

Avoid using any and all parental alienation tactics that family or friends may suggest to you, or suggested dirty tricks found online. When telling your children about your divorce, never say anything negative about your husband or wife, and don’t make up vicious lies about their father or mother in a sick and perverted attempt to “win” a bitter divorce case.

To your kids, the person you are talking about is their Mom or Dad, whom they love. Trying to alienate your children from their other parent by making false or unjustified accusations and derogatory comments is nothing short of child abuse, depriving children of their right to be loved and shown love by both parents equally.

If you are going through a divorce or are considering divorce, do not use your children as pawns in your divorce proceedings. While children need to know some things about the divorce, kids don’t need to know all the details and they certainly should never be made to feel as though they have to choose between their parents. When discussing or fighting about the details of the divorce or decisions that are being made, keep them private and out of earshot from your children.

Keep in mind, the divorce lawyer is not the one getting divorced, you are. Know your rights under the law within your state. Your attorney works for you, and you own the responsibility of what ultimately happens in your divorce, good or bad. If you hire an attorney that you don’t feel is looking out for your best interests, or is giving you bad advice, fire your attorney and get another one. If you can’t afford a divorce lawyer, find local volunteer divorce lawyers in your area to help protect you, your kids and your financial future.

Divorce Support Groups

There are many online divorce support groups for women, men and children, and many can be found in your local area. DivorceCare is a separation and divorce recovery support group for women, men and children, with meetings throughout the U.S., Canada and other countries. Men and fathers can also search online for “mens divorce support groups” for expert help in the recovery process following divorce. Check your local listings for divorce support groups for children, such as Parents Without Partners, that hold meetings in your area.

Amy (not her real name), the woman getting divorced after 30 years of marriage mentioned at the outset of this article, ultimately decided to hire a divorce lawyer. She is also considering mediation, which can save a lot of money in attorney fees. Fortunately for her, there are no minor aged children from the marriage to fight over, but since her soon-to-be ex husband doesn’t appear to want to play nice and has been known to be quite abusive, she decided to consult with an attorney to ensure her rights are protected.

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney. This is article is provided for informational purposes only. This article is not offered as, nor is it to be construed as legal advice. To obtain specific legal advice pertaining to your case, consult an attorney licensed to practice law in your state.

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reSTART internet addiction treatment center for computer internet and video gaming addicts, people who are addicted to the internet or playing video games, has opened its first rehab residential treatment program in the U.S. Commonly referred to as Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD), the reSTART treatment center opened its doors in August 2009 with its first patient, 19-year-old Ben Alexander of Iowa City.

reSTART, described as a 45-day video game and Internet addiction recovery program, is located in Fall City, Washington, about 30 miles east of Seattle. An admitted gaming addict, Alexander became so addicted to the online fantasy game World of Warcraft that he would spend more than 16 hours a day glued to the computer game, skipping meals and sleep for the sake of playing the game.

In an interview with Time, Alexander says he became so addicted to playing video games that “It was pretty much all I was doing when I was in college.” After unsuccessfully trying to wean himself off of the addictive game and nearly failing school, he “had a moment of clarity” and asked his dad for help. Before discovering reSTART, Alexander checked into an addiction treatment center in Eastern Washington but that didn’t help, and then went to a wilderness adventure program in Utah, all to no avail.

Internet Addiction Treatment Centers

Ironically located less than 15 miles from Microsoft’s Redmond Headquarters, the Heavensfield Retreat Center (reSTART) is a 5-acre wooden retreat with a 3,500 square foot craftsman house, Western red cedar treehouses, chicken coops, and goat pens. For a whopping cost of just $15,500 for the 45-day stay (including application, screening and treatment fees) internet and gaming addicts are cut off from the web… cold turkey.

The reSTART website (www.netaddictionrecovery.com) says inpatient treatment for internet addiction includes working with a therapist, a recreation coach, yoga and exercise instructors, nature hikes, household chores, career development and other activities in an effort to “reprogram” patients and rid them of their addiction to the internet or online gaming.

Even though Internet addiction or video game addiction is not yet included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) doesn’t make these addictions less serious and real, especially in the lives and families affected by Internet Addiction Disorder.

Unfortunately, Internet addiction is not recognized as a separate disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, and treatment is not covered by insurance. But there are many treatment centers for internet addiction in China, South Korea and Taiwan — where Internet addiction is taken very seriously — and many psychiatric experts say it is clear that Internet addiction is real and harmful.

ReSTART is run by psychotherapists Cosette Dawna Rae and Hilarie Cash, authors of Video Games & Your Kids: How Parents Stay in Control, who believe Internet addiction and gaming are no less addictive than other seemingly harmless activities, such as gambling. Since helping her first patient overcome an addiction to a role-playing computer game fifteen years ago, Cash re-focused her practice to treating patients who are compulsive Internet and gaming addicts to the point where their they stop eating and sleeping properly, risk losing their jobs, marriages and relationships are ruined, plus various potentially serious health problems (including death). The harmful effects of internet addiction or video game addiction cannot be ignored any longer – if you or your kids are showing symptoms of addiction, act now.

The signs of internet or gaming addiction cannot be ignored, and if you or your children are addicted to video games or the internet itself, can you afford the cost of going to reSTART or any other internet treatment centers that pop up around the U.S. or other countries?

Think about it. How much time do you or your children spend online, whether it be social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, online virtual worlds like Second Life, silly Facebook games like Yoville or Mafia Wars, amongst others? Could you, someone you love, or your children be addicted to the internet or video games and not even realize it?

It’s time to get a life. A real life.

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Childhood obesity in children and teens who are considered overweight or clinically obese is on the rise, according to research studies on the prevalence of overweight and obese children and adolescents in the U.S. Child obesity statistics speak for themselves, with the term “childhood obesity epidemic” creating concern for parents and health officials, as well as city and state government officials searching for ways to reduce and even prevent obesity in children.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), over nine million kids and teens between the ages of 6-19 years of age have been diagnosed as being overweight or morbidly obese, an alarming number that has tripled since 1980.

The CDC reports that over the past three decades child obesity rates have more than doubled for preschool children between the ages of 2-5 years and adolescents aged 12-19 years, and it has more than tripled for children aged 6-11 years.

Childhood Obesity Statistics

According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Resources, overweight kids and teens have a 70% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults, which jumps to 80% if one or more parents is overweight or obese themselves.

In the U.K., parents of overweight school kids are to receive a letter from schools telling them their child is underweight, a healthy weight, overweight or very overweight. Included in the letter are tips and advice on getting kids to eat healthy, the risks of being overweight and physical activities their child can do to lower their weight and risk factors.

In 2008, child obesity statistics show a dramatic increase in the U.S. obesity rates per state, showing only one state (Colorado) with a prevalence of obesity less than 20%. Thirty-two states had a prevalence equal to or greater than 25%; six of these states (Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, and West Virginia) had a prevalence of obesity equal to or greater than 30%.

Child Obesity Definition

What is obesity? The definition of child obesity and overweight is simple and easy to understand. “Obesity” means an excess amount of body fat, or body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher, while “overweight” is defined as a body mass index of 25 or higher. BMI is calculated from a person’s weight and height, which provides a good indicator of unhealthy body fat and weight that may lead to serious health problems.

Most health professionals use published guidelines based on the body mass index, or a modified BMI for age, in order to measure obesity in children. Other professionals classify fat or overweight kids as being obese if they have a body weight ratio of at least 20% higher than a healthy weight for a child of that height, or a body fat percentage above 25% in boys or above 32% in girls.

Childhood Obesity Facts

The facts about childhood obesity cannot be ignored, and some parents have actually been arrested and charged with child abuse and neglect because their teen is morbidly obese, creating a firestorm of controversy around the country. The health risks and long-term effects of obesity in children are numerous, with very serious consequences, such as:

• Coronary heart disease

• Type 2 diabetes (also referred to as adult-onset diabetes)

• Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)

• Hypertension (high blood pressure)

• Dyslipidemia (high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)

• Stroke

• Liver diseases, gallbladder diseases and asthma

• Sleep apnea (interruption of breath while sleeping) and respiratory problems

• Orthopedic problems/Osteoarthritis (breakdown of cartilage and bone within a joint)

• Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

Causes of Childhood Obesity

What causes obesity and overweight in children?, you may wonder. According to the Mayo Clinic, obesity in children is caused by kids eating too much, eating the wrong kinds of foods (ie. junk foods, high calorie, high fat, high sodium) and not getting enough exercise. Television commercial ads intentionally marketed to kids and school cafeteria food menu items deserve to share at least part of the blame for increased obesity trends in children.

Genetic disorders and hormonal causes appear to play a part in some cases but are far less common than lifestyle issues and poor eating habits, and is not commonly viewed as a viable excuse. Genetic diseases, such as Prader-Willi syndrome and Cushing’s syndrome, affect only a very small percentage of children, but the primary cause of child obesity is poor eating habits and leading a sedentary lifestyle.

Lack of regular, “natural exercise” is a major contributing factor in childhood obesity rates. Children who spend too much time watching television programs, playing video games too much or internet surfing for hours each day, have a greater risk of being overweight or becoming morbidly obese than kids who regularly engage in active play or sports.

According to research studies, “children’s food preferences and food-intake patterns may be shaped largely by the foods parents choose to make available to children and persistence in presenting a food that initially is rejected.”

The same study found that “picky eaters were breastfed for fewer than 6 months,” suggesting that breastfeeding that lasts longer than 6 months may help prevent kids from becoming picky eaters in the first place. Recommendations for dealing with a picky eater are to prepare one healthy meal for the entire family, and if he or she does not want to eat the meal prepared, don’t force them to eat it but don’t give the child something else to eat.

Weight Loss Diets for Children?

Child obesity prevention programs, weight loss camps and diets for kids under 13 years of age (and older) are popping up all over the U.S., but are diets for children safe? These programs are hoping to stop the obesity epidemic from growing and help kids learn about proper nutrition, food choice, self esteem, portion control and getting enough exercise.

National weight loss programs and grants are being put into place to help children achieve and maintain a healthy body mass index, or BMI, and lower their risks of health problems. These obesity programs also help parents of overweight or obese kids learn how to promote healthy lifestyles and eating habits, and how to give helpful support and encouragement effectively.

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) food pyramid for kids program called MyPyramid for Kids offers printable meal tracking worksheets in Spanish and English to help preschoolers (ages 2-5 years) and older kids (ages 6-11 years) keep track of their food choices and level of physical activity, as well as providing tips for parents and families.

We Can! or “Ways to Enhance Children’s Activity & Nutrition” is a national education program developed by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to help prevent childhood obesity in youth ages 8–13. We Can! focuses on programs and activities for parents and families as a primary group for influencing youth. The program provides turn-key resources and programs for parents, caregivers, and youth to encourage healthy eating, increase physical activity, and reduce screen time.

Fad diets are a dime a dozen, and that includes “diets for teens” and even “diets for kids” who are overweight, so before you go signing your kid up for any diet programs – research diet scams and talk to your family doctor to make an informed decision for your child.

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Abercrombie & Fitch is at it again. The “Abercrombie & Fitch pitches new trashy T-Shirts to America’s Youth” headline is creating quite a stir around the internet, and for very good reason. It’s called the Sexualization of Children and Abercrombie & Fitch continues to target American young people with their highly sexualized clothing lines and t-shirts. Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) has come out with a new line of t-shirts called “New College Tees” with inappropriate, sexualized messages appearing on the t-shirts.

College students may find A&F clothing styles appealing, but tweens and teens shop and spend their own money or allowance at Abercrombie and Fitch too. These tees are not appropriate for any age, let alone tweens and teens wearing such “sexy” smut. Parents would be wise to consider very carefully what department store gift cards to buy as gifts, especially gift cards or clothes from stores such as Abercrombie & Fitch.

The American Family Association and OneMillionMoms.com is spearheading an e-mail campaign to the popular A&F clothing store over their new “Get It On” Fall line of T-shirts. Regarding the new line of trashy tees, OneMillionMoms director Monica Cole said, “A few of their little slogans are pretty offensive to women in general, so you wouldn’t want your daughters or nieces wearing these shirts.” Cole continues saying the trashy tees are “only available in stores. It’s not online, and parents can’t even get a preview before they go in the stores, so they will be shocked; then it will be too late.”

Messages printed on Abercrombie & Fitch new tees:

• Tie me up, don’t tie me down

• All bed no breakfast

• I always end up on top

• Anyone you can do, I can do better

A&F also owns Hollister Co. which coincidently has a new “Surf Tees” line that is full of sexual innuendos as well, such as:

• Chicks Dig the Long Board

• Sand Jobs are for Surfers

• She Goes Both Ways (Beaches & Long Boards)

• Ride the Tip

• Maybe Partying Will Help

• Volley My Balls Please

OneMillionMoms.com and the American Family Association need your help to force Abercrombie & Fitch to pull their sexualized shirts. An email circulation by the American Family Assocation and OneMillionMoms.com says this:

“Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) continues its pattern of pushing pornographic-themed material into mainstream America. Abercrombie & Fitch has just begun offering their “New College” line of T-shirts.

The first A&F T-shirt pictures a young girl opening her blouse – exposing herself. A&F titles the image: “Show the Twins”.

The second picture is of a female running nude. A&F titles it: “Female streaking encouraged.” The next Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt is entitled: “Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research”. Abercrombie & Fitch does not merely sell a popular line of clothing – they sell a lifestyle. And because A&F clothing is popular among teens and college kids, the influence of their sex-as-recreation lifestyle is widespread.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention reports that Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year – almost half of them among young people 15 to 24 years of age.”

How you can help: Send an email letter to Abercrombie & Fitch asking them to pull their sexualized shirts. After sending your email, call A&F at 614-283-6500 (press “0″ to speak directly to a real person) and let them how you REALLY feel about their continued sexualization of children efforts.

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