Telling It Like It Is

How to Manipulate Parents and Get Parents to Do What You Want

Learning how to manipulate parents, and doing whatever is deemed necessary to get parents to do what kids, teens and adult children want, sometimes turns into a virtual war between kids and parents. Manipulating parents, often referred to as emotional extortion, means that there are kids of all ages who will do just about anything to get parents to say yes to something, even when saying yes puts parents in a precarious position.

Do children manipulate parents? Oh yes they do, and adult children are just as good at stooping to whatever level they see fit to get their parents to do what the kid wants, and it doesn’t matter what it is children are trying to convince parents to do. The reality of how parents are sometimes manipulated when planning a wedding became a shocking and disturbing reality for a mom I’ve heard from before, based on the email I received this morning.

Regular readers are likely familiar with the article I wrote about who pays for what when it comes time to determine how a wedding budget will be decided and how the wedding, reception and honeymoon will be paid for and by whom. Late last year, shortly before Christmas of 2008, I exchanged a few emails with a mom who was struggling with the decision of who would pay for her daughter’s wedding.
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Posted in Divorce, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Shopping, Teenagers, Women on October 29, 2009

Tags: Tags: bridezilla, difference between helping and enabling, Getting a Divorce, parenting adult children, planning a wedding, wedding budget

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reSTART Internet Addiction Treatment Center Rehab Program for Computer Internet Addicts

reSTART internet addiction treatment center for computer internet and video gaming addicts, people who are addicted to the internet or playing video games, has opened its first rehab residential treatment program in the U.S. Commonly referred to as Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD), the reSTART treatment center opened its doors in August 2009 with its first patient, 19-year-old Ben Alexander of Iowa City.

reSTART, described as a 45-day video game and Internet addiction recovery program, is located in Fall City, Washington, about 30 miles east of Seattle. An admitted gaming addict, Alexander became so addicted to the online fantasy game World of Warcraft that he would spend more than 16 hours a day glued to the computer game, skipping meals and sleep for the sake of playing the game.

In an interview with Time, Alexander says he became so addicted to playing video games that “It was pretty much all I was doing when I was in college.” After unsuccessfully trying to wean himself off of the addictive game and nearly failing school, he “had a moment of clarity” and asked his dad for help. Before discovering reSTART, Alexander checked into an addiction treatment center in Eastern Washington but that didn’t help, and then went to a wilderness adventure program in Utah, all to no avail.
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Posted in Children, Education, Family, Health, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on October 19, 2009

Tags: Tags: addiction treatment center, children addicted to video games, gaming addicts, internet addiction disorder, internet addiction recovery, residential treatment program, signs of video game addiction, treatment for video game addiction, video game addiction, video game addiction books

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This is My Blog and I Will Blog Whatever I Want

Yes, this is MY blog and I will blog or write about whatever I want, thank you very much. I almost titled this post, “Telling It Like It Is is Not For the Faint of Heart”, which on some levels is very true.

Over the last several months there have been an increasing number of what I refer to as lurkers, spammers, trolls, haters, naysayers and perverts emailing me and attempting to leave pathetic comments on posts.

Some of the worst offenders are those arriving from those pesky “DoFollow blog lists”, where newbie bloggers show up like a bat out of hell, dive-bombing this site in hopes of getting a link back to their site by leaving a pathetic “great blog, keep it up” sort of comment. If you have a blog of your own, you are likely well aware of these pests.

Telling It Like It Is has a comment policy and privacy policy like all/most other blogs and websites have, including a “mark as spam” button and a “delete” button, which I use quite frequently. If “DoFollow” dive bombers wish to continue wasting their time targeting this site for a backlink, knock yourselves out…but if you ever decide to check back to see if your “comment” was approved…you’ll be sadly mistaken.

Running a close second behind the dive bombers are those who are none too happy that I continue to write about child sexual abuse, especially the articles that tell kids and victims to tell they are being sexually abused now or were sexually abused by someone in the past.

I have received emails and attempted comments from people who are not happy at all that the Protect Our Children Act was passed. Now, readers, you tell me…what kind of person would NOT want me or anyone else having the “audacity” to be telling kids to tell someone they are or were sexually abused? Think about that for a minute, then come to your own conclusions.
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Posted in Abuse, Children, Education, Men, Relationships, Women on August 31, 2009

Tags: Tags: audacity, child sexual abuse, facebook, Google Alerts, stumbleupon, twitter, woopra, writer's block

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101 Nights of Grrreat Sex: Secret Sealed Seductions for Fun-Loving Couples

This is a guest book review by Dr Michelle Gannon, a Psychologist/Relationship Expert in private practice in San Francisco. She is also the founder of Award Winning Marriage Prep 101 Workshops with her husband, Dr Patrick Gannon www.MarriagePrep101.com. You can find her on Twitter.com/DrMichellexo

Book Review: 101 Nights of Grrreat Sex by Laura Corn.

Many couples begin their relationship with the anticipation and excitement of a new romantic and sexual partner. In the beginning, most people find their sex lives pleasurable, exciting and interesting enough. When we fall in love, we release the feel good hormone called dopamine.

When we are sensual and sexual, we release the bonding hormone called oxytocin. So the good news is that the early years are fueled by both dopamine and oxytocin. However, these hormones wear off over time.

Also, the daily pressure and stress of working, raising children, dealing with finances and taking care of so many tasks can take a toll on one’s interest in sex and love making. If you think about it, it also makes sense that making love the same way to the same person year after year could get a little routine, mundane and even boring.

The good news is that couples can reclaim their sexual relationship, and even re-invent it to be more playful and exciting.
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Posted in Dating, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Women on August 12, 2009

Tags: Tags: laura corn, making love, sex, sex books, sexual relationship

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How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

This is a guest post by Lissa at Owning Pink, a website and a series of women’s workshops committed to empowering women to reclaim their health, their girlytude, and their mojo.

When Lin asked me to write about how to make love to a woman, I felt myself blush. After all, I’m a gynecologist, not a sexpert. Wouldn’t she be better served by asking some Casanova or, better yet, a lesbian? As the founder of Owning Pink: A Gutsy Guide to Getting Your Mojo Back (www.owningpink.com), I’m all about helping women embrace joy and get in touch with their authentic selves. But, how to please a woman in bed? Hmmm. My husband and I were just in the bedroom last night, working on making our own sex life a bit more exciting, so I can honestly say I’m no sexual rock star.

However, after thinking about it for a while I realized, to my surprise, that after ten years of working with women and teaching women’s workshops, I guess I have learned a thing or two on the topic. So if you’re aiming to satisfy a woman in the sack, we girls beg you, pay attention.

20 Tips For Making a Woman Quiver

1. Every woman is different. If your super-duper signature technique had your last girlfriend hanging from the chandeliers and bellowing out to Mother Mary, good for you. But don’t expect the same thing to work on your new lover. Our bodies- and needs- vary drastically. One size does not fit all.

2. A woman’s body is like an old beater car in subzero weather. It takes a while to warm her up. Don’t expect a warm welcome if you go from zero to sixty straight to her coochie. Foreplay will take you far. Our bodies sometimes need a little coaxing. So often we live completely in our heads. Our minds are spinning with thoughts about work, the kids, and tomorrow’s to-do list. If you help bring us into our bodies by arousing different erogenous zones, like the ears, the lips, the breasts, the inner thigh, the belly button, even the toes, you help remind us that our bodies can offer pleasure if we only inhabit them.

3. Love her and earn her trust. For most women, sex and love get all tangled. Not to say there aren’t some Samantha’s out there who love to just get it on. But for most of us, we see sex as an expression of love, and if we don’t feel nurtured by you, we may not get all hot and bothered when you want to shake the sheets. Love her well and earn her trust. Pleasure will likely follow.

4. Set the mood in the bedroom. Surprise her with candles, mood music, and a flower on her pillow. Whisper sweet nothings. Don’t serve up silly platitudes, but say what you feel. When we cover our bellies with our hands and try to turn off the light, tell us we’re beautiful, just the way we are. Share how much you care. Romance gets her in the mood and helps her relax.
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Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Women on August 7, 2009

Tags: Tags: how to make love, how to make love to a woman, how to please a woman, how to please a woman in bed

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Allen Birthing Center, Dallas Midwife Birthing Options, American Association Birth Centers

The Allen Birthing Center, located in historic downtown Allen Texas, is the birthing center my daughter chose to deliver her baby in May 2009. Allen Birthing Center is a free-standing birth center, staffed by 3 experienced and highly-educated certified nurse-midwives (CNMs), offering prenatal care, labor support, delivery and exam of the newborn, postpartum care, well-woman exams, family planning, and primary care.

As soon as my daughter learned about her pregnancy, she had what seemed like a million questions and fears for a first-time mother, which is understandable. We discussed birthing options, the average cost of delivering a baby in a hospital vs. a birthing center or homebirth, pros and cons of each option etc, so she could make an informed choice for herself and her baby.

I was very careful to just explain the facts of each option because I didn’t want her to feel any pressure or influence from me about how or where to have her baby. Just because I chose the home birth option to deliver her and her older brother, and hospital births for my first four children, doesn’t mean she should make the same choice I did.

My daughter asked me, “If you could do it all over again, which option would you choose now?” I had to be honest and tell her that if I had known years ago about certified midwives, birthing centers and homebirth options, I would have chosen to give birth to each of my children at home. The differences between laboring and delivering a baby in a hospital vs. delivering at home or at a birthing center for low-risk pregnancies are huge.

I suggested she check out Ricki Lake’s Business of Being Born documentary, and explained that she needed to create a birth plan where she would list her personal preferences for labor and delivery, including how and where she would decide to give birth. I also explained that she needed to decided whether or not she wanted pain medication or an epidural for pain relief during labor, because that would have everything to do with where she would labor and deliver her baby.
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Posted in Dating, Family, Health, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Reviews, Teenagers, Women on August 3, 2009

Tags: Tags: allen birthing center, average cost of delivering a baby, birth center, birthing centers, cost of delivering a baby, homebirth, hospital births, labor and delivery

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How to Be a Good Son-In-Law: Building a Great Son-In-Law Relationship With Your In-Laws

This is a guest post from Jeff Nickles at My Super-Charged Life, where he shares tips, motivation and resources for living life to the fullest.

Guys, did you know that there is more to being married than just getting along with your wife?  Generally, a woman’s family is important to her.  She doesn’t just want you to have a good relationship with your mother-in-law and father-in-law.  She needs it.  Ladies, am I wrong here?

The Case for Becoming a Good Son-In-Law

Men, your wife needs you to be a good son-law and to blend into her family.  Yes, she is, in a sense, leaving them behind when she gets married to start her own family with you. But, she is going to need their support and encouragement along the way.  Trust me, your relationship with your wife will grow deeper and be easier if you develop a great son-in-law relationship with your in-laws.

Furthermore, I suggest that it is in your best interest as well.  I know that having a terrific relationship with my in-laws has been a true blessing for me.  Their love and support of me and my family has been invaluable over the years.  For example, they were there for us when an F-5 tornado destroyed our home.  In another instance, my mother-in-law took care of our newborn daughter when my wife had to go back to the hospital for a week.  I don’t know what we would have done if my in-laws weren’t so willing to help in these situations.

Having children creates a whole other reason to build a great relationship with your in-laws.  Grandparents are very important to a child’s sense of well-being.  They add depth and security to the loving relationships surrounding a child.  The better your relationship is with your in-laws, the easier it is going to be for them to grow close and be a positive role model for your children.  This is a valuable gift that you can give your kids that will serve them the rest of their lives.
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Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on July 23, 2009

Tags: Tags: guest post, In-laws, Marriage, mother in law, son-in-law

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I’ve Come To Realize That…MySpace Survey Meme

I’ve been tagged with the “I’ve Come To Realize” meme on Facebook, which originated as the I’ve Come Realize MySpace Survey from bzoink.com. Colloquium and Ukok’s Place have already done their “I’ve Come To Realize” meme posts, and Judd has a weekly Sunday Stealing series where he “steals” memes from around the blogosphere, including the ‘come to realize’ MySpace survey.

RULES: “Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note completing the 36 “I’ve come to realize” statements. At the end, choose the friends you want to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you or I knew you way back when and am interested in what life has taught you!”

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size. . . is a gift bestowed upon me by my mother, although less would have been fine too.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job. . . is a field I got into quite by accident nearly twenty years ago and it pays the bills. I like it most days, but other days…not so much.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving. . . is a time for peace and quiet as I listen to my favorite music cd’s or radio stations, blocking out the usual stresses and problems I have no control over.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need. . . peace, quiet, love, acceptance, family, friends, structure, cleanliness, order, organization and my adoring husband to flourish in life. He recently told some people that I’m the best thing that has ever happened to him and that he couldn’t imagine life without me. Awww, he’s so sweet and I feel the same way about him.

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost. . . the ability to accept or tolerate any “B.S.” involvement with my father and one of my grown sons, who were the basis for my article about toxic family members. I haven’t seen, spoken to, or heard from my father for fourteen years now, nor my son for three or four years, and I’m all the better for it.
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Posted in Divorce, Family, Friendship, Marriage, Men, Parenting, Relationships, Women on July 20, 2009

Tags:

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Do Men Want To Get Married? Top Ten Reasons Why Men Don’t Want To Get Married

Do men want to get married, or not? “Do Men Really Want to Get Married” is the question being discussed in a CNN article about whether the stereotypical belief that men are dragged off to the altar to get married kicking and screaming is true or not. CNN reporter, Alex Wallen, claims to have interviewed dozens of men on how they approached marriage, where these men admitted that they had “fantasized about popping the question, getting married, even having a wedding.”

Wallen reports that numerous men reported having a “light-switch” moment when they decided they should get married to their significant other. Examples given include a life-altering event, such as one man who suddenly realized his love for his girlfriend when she helped him deal with the death of his father; or it might be something as simple as having so much fun playing arcade games together that you can’t imagine yourself having this much fun with anyone else. One man decided it was time to get married when he became angry and balled-up his fists when another man made a pass at his then-girlfriend.

“Real men are perceived as committing “till death do us part” for the wrong reasons — they marry out of convenience or under duress, and they acquiesce, kicking and screaming all the way to the altar”, according to the article. If recent statistics are correct, men are choosing to marry later in life, with the average age being 28 before experiencing their “ah ha” moment, which is a good thing. Nevertheless, there are still many young men and women getting married too young, and far too many couples get married for the wrong reasons and end up regretting it later.
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Posted in Dating, Marriage, Men, Relationships, Teenagers, Women on July 20, 2009

Tags: Tags: don't be that girl, getting married, Marriage, men and women, wedding planning

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Mother Of The Bride Dresses, Special Occasion Dresses, Cheap Bridesmaids Dresses

Are you shopping for Mother-of-the-Bride dresses, special occasion dresses, affordable Bridesmaid Dresses or Wedding Dresses for an upcoming wedding? Although I’m not the mother of the bride, but am the step-mother of the bride who is getting married soon, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to find a special occasion dress to wear to the wedding.

Until now, it hadn’t occurred to me how time-consuming it would be going from one special occasion dress shop to the next in hopes of finding the perfect dress, in the right color, style and size to wear. The price of some modern, unique, beautiful Mother of the Bride Dresses that were also age-appropriate nearly caused me to keel over and faint.

Special Occasion Dresses

In some local dress shops I visited, the cost of special occasion dresses for a wedding was almost the same as a designer wedding dress for an expensive and extravagant Cinderella wedding! Fortunately, there are Cheap Bridesmaid Dresses that come in every color, style, length and size that won’t break the bank.

I did spend a few days checking out the local special occasion dress shop sections in stores like JCPenney, Dillards, Nordstrom, as well as local discount bridal consignment shops, but I didn’t find anything I liked. When I was looking for a prom dress for my daughter, I went to a bridal/prom store in Dallas called “Whatchamacallit” that has thousands of dresses, but if you’re not a professional seamstress who can fix the fraying threads, missing buttons, broken zippers and other problems, you’d be wasting your time there.

I do almost all of my shopping online, and buying a special occasion dress online is no different. I always check the sizing charts and usually buy a dress one size larger than my normal size to leave room for alterations that are almost always necessary. There is no such thing as a one-size-fits-all dress, unless you don’t mind your dress looking like a tent or potato sack with rhinestones or sequins sewn on.
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Posted in Dating, Family, Marriage, Relationships, Reviews, Shopping, Teenagers, Women on July 15, 2009

Tags: Tags: cheap bridesmaid dresses, cinderella wedding, designer wedding, mother of the bride, mother of the bride dresses, special occasion dresses

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