Telling It Like It Is

Are parents obligated to pay college tuition for their kids to attend college? Should parents pay for college or should college students be responsible for paying college related expenses including tuition, with or without their parents help? The question of who pays for college continues to be a controversial (sometimes heated) debate between kids planning to attend college, and their parents.

Parents, are you responsible for paying your kids college education or not? If parents are supposed to pay for college, how much should parents pay towards tuition, books, housing costs, transportation, gas, insurance, food, clothing, entertainment and miscellaneous expenses for college? Where do parents draw the line between helping kids attend college and not jeopardizing their savings and retirement accounts? To say that your retirement plans are more important than your children’s college funds is putting it mildly.
Read the rest of this entry »

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! Gobble Gobble! As you celebrate Thanksgiving Day with your family and close friends, be sure to say a prayer for those less fortunate than yourselves, for our military and their families, and those who have recently lost a loved one in death. Here are a few Thanksgiving Prayers and poems collected from the net for your consideration. If you have a Thanksgiving prayer you wish to share, please leave a comment below. Happy Thanksgiving and blessings to all of you as you enjoy your Thanksgiving Day meal celebration with loved ones. Bring on the football game (and then a well deserved nap!)

Thanksgiving Prayer

“Loving Merciful God, We give You thanks for the creation of this world; it is a wonder and a blessing which should give us pause to offer You thanks. Creator, we are blessed by such little-big things as the air we breathe and the water we drink, these little-big things that fill our lives with the elements of living, but are commonly overlooked for we do not always stop to think about the wonders of the world which are working. We know that in Your time and space all will been done to fulfill Your glory, Your plans for us. We are reminded by Your Word in the Scripture 1Thessalonians 5:18 to be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all things for this was Your will for us in Christ Jesus.
Read the rest of this entry »

Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Cancer. My dad has been diagnosed with B type Hodgkins Lymphoma and my mind is racing a mile a minute. I just received a phone call from my mother telling me the news, and I can’t quite wrap my mind around what she was telling me.

People that know me and my background know that I don’t often hear from my mother. Seeing their phone number appear on the Caller ID immediately makes me think someone in the family was seriously injured in an accident, is very ill or dead. I haven’t heard from my father since 1995, because I chose to leave the religion I was born into, and the results of that choice were automatic and immediate.

In the eyes of my father and most of my siblings, I died in 1995. All because of my personal decision to leave a religious organization I no longer wanted to be a part of. My mother tends to think of me as being in some sort of coma, hoping that I’ll somehow “come to my senses” and take the required and necessary steps to rejoin the religion.

Doing so would mean I would have been miraculously “resurrected from the dead”, where family members and old friends (who haven’t spoken to me since 1995) would suddenly welcome me back with open arms. Not gonna happen. Ever.

My parents live in Dallas, which is only about a 30-minute drive from our house. Having family members living in such close proximity to our house, but rarely hearing from or seeing any of them, is something I’ve never quite gotten used to. The wounds from the past run very deep, and try as I may to “forgive and forget” everything that happened, forgiving and moving on is easier than the ability to actually forget.
Read the rest of this entry »

“Deaths occur in threes. If one person in your family dies, two more will within a short period of time.” Do deaths come in threes or is it just an old wives tale? There’s been a lot of discussion in the last few days that deaths always happen in threes or celebrity deaths come in threes, and questions about where the “deaths come in 3” tale came from.

My understanding is that the origin of the old wives tale or legend about deaths occurring in threes came from the first world war. When the men would light their cigarettes they knew not to use 3 on a match because the enemy could pinpoint them and shoot them from the light of the match being lit so long.

The myth about deaths in threes is often used as proof regarding “notable”, famous celebrities, but people tend to forget about the deaths of celebrities who may not be quite as famous and well known around the world as others who have died.

Some people also claim that the deaths in threes rule applies to deaths occurring within 3 days of each other, while others claim the myth applies to deaths happening “within a short period of time” according to the legend.

The Wall Street Journal listed some “deaths in threes” examples like this:

• Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the “Big Bopper” all died together in a plane crash in 1959
• Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison all died in close succession in 1970-71
• In 2003, Johnny Cash, John Ritter, and Warren Zevon all died within the same week
• In 2005, King Fahd, Peter Jennings and Robin Cook died within a week of each other
• The following year brought the closely timed deaths of Don Knotts, Darren McGavin and Dennis Weaver
• Heath Ledger, Suzanne Pleshette and Brad Renfro all died within a week of each other in January 2008

Read the rest of this entry »

Planning a wedding is fun and exciting, that’s for sure. Brides and grooms begin searching for information on how to plan a wedding, and start looking for wedding planning websites like The Knot Wedding Shop for help in crossing off their wedding planning checklist of everything they’ll need for their wedding, reception and honeymoon.

Shopping for the wedding gown and tuxedos, choosing the flowers, selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen, choosing the wedding cake and favors, wedding dance songs for the father/daughter dance, enjoying the fun parties and wedding gifts couples receive, all in anticipation of getting married to your sweetheart.

This “wedding planning checklist” offers some ideas about many of the things you will need to do in preparation for your upcoming wedding. These are only ideas of things to consider, to be used as a wedding planning guide, and some things may not apply to you. Some items on this wedding planning list apply to the bride while others are typical responsibilities of the groom. In order not become overwhelmed, work as a team to complete the wedding planner checklist before your wedding.
Read the rest of this entry »

Have you heard about GoFish? How about the Mom Song by the Go Fish Guys? GoFish is a Christian singing group of three guys, Jamie Statema (founder of GoFish), Jason Folkmann and Andy Selness. GoFish, also known as the Go Fish Guys, started out as an a cappella group founded in 1993, using nothing but vocals and percussion.

GoFish became branded as “a cappella with an attitude”, whose songs include the Mom Song, Christmas With a Capital C, American Kid, Superstar and many others. The GoFish website, www.gofishguys.com, is labeled as “Go Fish – Great Music For Kids That Won’t Drive Parents Bonkers!!”, which was enough to cause me to spend some time on the GoFish site and check out Jamie’s Go Fish Guy blog at www.gofishguy.typepad.com. Jamie must be a very cool guy, considering the fact that his blog logo includes my favorite Dr. Seuss quote “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” which is my personal motto in life.

“Party Like a Preschooler” by the Go Fish Guys is a best-selling album collection of 11 songs kids love and won’t drive parents bonkers, and there’s even a bonus track for dads, “It’s hard to be cool (in a mini-van)!” This “Party” album contains song titles including “Do Your Ears Hang Low”, “The Wheels on the Bus”, “Pop Goes the Weasel”, “5 Little Monkeys”, “The A,B,C’s”, “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt”, “The Cow and The Peanut” and other kid songs moms and dads will enjoy just as much as kids do.
Read the rest of this entry »

UPDATED: Who pays for what? Who decides the wedding budget when planning a wedding? Who pays the wedding costs and expenses according to traditional wedding etiquette vs. modern etiquette? Who pays for the honeymoon? How do you go about planning a wedding when you have Cinderella wedding dreams dancing in your head?

Who pays for what is a common question for brides, grooms, and their families when it comes time to begin planning a wedding. If you do an online search for “wedding who pays”, “who pays for wedding” or even “who pays for what wedding”, you’ll find a lot of old-fashioned, archaic nonsense akin to the 18th or 19th century.

It’s about time that brides, grooms and parents begin to pay attention and accept the changes taking place in American wedding customs about who pays for weddings, receptions and honeymoons with open arms, not an open bank account, Credit Cards or loans.

Planning a Wedding On a Budget

According to The Knot Wedding Shop, a popular wedding planning website, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is expected to drop at least 10% in 2009 from the average price of $21,814 for a wedding in 2008. Due to the economy, personal financial circumstances and just plain common sense, engaged couples and families are having to find ways to cut wedding costs while still planning a beautiful, affordable, spectacular wedding that won’t create a financial burden for whoever ultimately pays for the wedding.
Read the rest of this entry »

Do you regret getting married? Have you ever said to yourself “I regret getting married”? Is your marriage a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage? If you could do it all over again, would you still choose to be married to your spouse? Are you planning on getting married? Why? The sheer number of unhappy marriages and staggering divorce rates should give dating and/or engaged couples reason for pause, and serious consideration into building a happy marriage without regrets in order to avoid divorce altogether.

According to a study of 4000 married couples carried out by market research firm OnePoll.com, a quarter of married men and women regret getting married to their spouses, while 15% of engaged couples planning to get married have misgivings about their upcoming nuptials. Is it “cold feet” pre-wedding jitters, or is there something more serious going on? Why do people regret getting married?

The average married couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage, according to the research poll. “We tend to think of marriage as something people do when they are in love but this survey reveals that people tie the knot for all sorts of different reasons,” OnePoll’s John Sewell said. “And many of them aren’t sure they want to get married — even as they are standing at the altar saying their vows, which may worry some brides and grooms-to-be.”

• Four percent of the married people surveyed said they had gotten married for the wrong reasons, because they wanted wedding presents and a party, not because they were in love.

• 23 percent said they would not marry their partner if they could do it all over again, and 14 percent wished they had married someone else from their past.

• Only 28 percent confessed to being virgins when they met their future spouse, with some respondents saying they had slept with an average of four people before they met their marriage partner, and five percent admitted to having 20 or more previous sexual partners.

• 35 percent said the person they married was not the best sexual partner they have ever had and another 33 percent said that being single was more fun than being married.

• 12 percent of people surveyed said they stay with their partner just because they couldn’t be bothered to find someone new.

• Fifteen percent of husbands and wives admitted to lying to each other about their love lives, with most decreasing the number of previous sexual partners while two percent admitted to boosting the number.

• 83 percent of those surveyed said they couldn’t be bothered to celebrate the date they tied the knot by their third anniversary.

• Seven out of ten men admitted they were so comfortable with their spouse they frequently left socks, pants and other dirty washing lying around the house, while 79 percent admitted they no longer bothered to put the toilet seat down.

• 75 percent of men and women said they wouldn’t relinquish control over the remote control to their other half, even if they asked nicely.

• Two thirds of the married women polled said they no longer put forth the effort to dress up and look nice for their spouse. Nearly a third said they stay on the far side of the bed, claiming they don‘t have time for sex with their husbands.

• 54 percent of women polled no longer bothered wearing make-up; 61 percent admitted that they throw on a ratty T-shirt, comfy tracksuit bottoms or pajamas as soon as they got home from work, and 10 percent of married women said they don’t bother to wear sexy lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom.

• 83 percent of couples surveyed held hands often while out during the first few months of marriage, compared to just 38 percent after a decade of being married.

• Prior to the first wedding anniversary, partners would cuddle and hug more than eight times a day- compared with five or fewer after ten years of marriage. 60 percent said they hadn’t been surprised with a romantic night out since getting hitched.

John Sewell said, “It would appear that many are stuck in a rut, and whilst they still love their other half, they’re a little too comfortable in each others company. Couples need to find a good balance between feeling comfortable and taking each other for granted. The odd romantic meal would probably be all many couples need to spice things up a bit – and small gestures such as tidying up, and helping out with the housework would go a long way.”

Right and Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Marriage regrets often happen because dating and/or engaged couples haven’t considered their reasons for wanting to get married in the first place. Couples don’t think about the pros and cons of marriage, but choose to focus their time, attention and financial resources to the Cinderella wedding fairytale fantasy while planning a wedding that lasts just one day.

There are good reasons to get married and bad reasons to get married, but brides-to-be and grooms-to-be often pay too much attention to planning the fairytale fluff of the wedding day ceremony and reception, rather than planning and preparing for marriage and the difficulties that go with being married after the wedding day is over.

Brides-to-be often plan their wedding at The Knot Wedding Shop where decisions are made about the wedding budget, wedding dress, flowers, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, wedding cake, grooms cake, wedding rings, wedding invitations, chapel or wedding venue options, the honeymoon, DJ, photographer and video etc. Your wedding day is just one day out of the rest of your life.

Marriage Without Regrets

If you really want a marriage without regrets that lasts a lifetime, you need to prepare for marriage, starting with asking the hard before marriage questions every couple should ask and answer before getting married in order to have a happy, successful marriage without any regrets.

1. Resolving conflict in marriage
2. Understanding each partner’s role
3. Improving the sexual relationship
4. Becoming financially wise
5. Respecting and keeping marriage vows

Getting married for the wrong reasons can quickly lead to an unhappy marriage ending in divorce, because couples did not prepare for marriage properly, were too young to get married or didn’t consider the fact that being married and being happily married are two entirely different things.

See: How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

Most Popular Blog Posts

When I decided to start a blog with my very first blog post more than two years ago, I didn’t know anything about creating a blog where I could share parenting advice, marriage and relationship advice etc, but I knew that starting a blog that wasn’t just a personal blog all about me was something I was/am passionate about and I look forward to creating many more popular blog posts in 2009.

As we ring in the New Year, I’d like to share some of the most popular blog posts from Telling It Like It Is, based on popularity, number of views and/or comments, and a few of my personal favorites thrown in for good measure.

1. Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?
2. Are Parents Helping Or Enabling Their Adult Children?
3. Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling and Abusive Men
4. Helping and Enabling – Is There A Difference?
5. How to Get Along With the In-Laws: Dealing With In-Laws and Extended Family
6. Toxic Relationships – Toxic Family Members
7. Keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage
8. How to Spice Up Your Marriage: Fun and Easy Ways to Add Romance to Your Relationship
9. Zero Tolerance for Disrespectful, Cussing Kids
10. So Sexy, So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood in Commercial Culture
11. Building Self-Confidence in Children with Self-Esteem Activities
12. Understanding Assertiveness: Getting The Respect You Deserve
13. Child Sexual Abuse: Facts VS. Myths
14. Taking Care of Aging Parents as a Family
15. Evaluating And Choosing The Right Niche For Your Personality And Passion
16. Can I Get Paid to Care for a Family Member: Elderly Mother or Father?
17. How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law
18. A Sense of Entitlement
19. Children and Divorce: How to Tell Children About Your Divorce
20. 10 Ways to Raise Children to USE Drugs
21. The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It
22. How to Fight Fair in Marriage
23. Computer Monitoring Software- Do You Know What Your Kids Are Doing Online?
24. How to Spot a Gold Digger
25. Miley Cyrus AKA Hanna Montana Going Topless For Vanity Fair

Happy Holidays! Feliz Navidad! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! I’ve seen Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas in different languages on the net, but I’m not about to start saying Happy Holidays just because saying Merry Christmas might offend someone. Too bad, so sad. It’s called Christmas With a Capitol C people!

I don’t care if you say Happy Holidays or Merry  Christmas or simply “have a great day”. The point is that there is continuing debate about the legalities of having Christmas nativity scenes or a copy of the Bible etc in or around public places because “someone might be offended”.  Just to be clear, I say Happy Holidays as well as Merry Christmas during the holiday season, and will continue to do so no matter what.

“IT’S CALLED CHRISTMAS WITH A CAPITAL C”

It’s called Christmas!

Well I went to the coffee shop to get myself a mocha,
The lady at the counter said “Happy holidays”;
I said, “Thanks lady, I am pretty happy,
But there’s only one holiday that makes me feel that way.”

It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”

God’s got a law and we pretty much destroyed it.
We’re gonna get judged, there’s no way to avoid it.
But Jesus came down to take the punishment for me.
He did it for you too, so maybe you can see . . .

Why It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”

It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!

It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”