Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! Gobble Gobble! As you celebrate Thanksgiving Day with your family and close friends, be sure to say a prayer for those less fortunate than yourselves, for our military and their families, and those who have recently lost a loved one in death. Here are a few Thanksgiving Prayers and poems collected from the net for your consideration. If you have a Thanksgiving prayer you wish to share, please leave a comment below. Happy Thanksgiving and blessings to all of you as you enjoy your Thanksgiving Day meal celebration with loved ones. Bring on the football game (and then a well deserved nap!)

Thanksgiving Prayer

“Loving Merciful God, We give You thanks for the creation of this world; it is a wonder and a blessing which should give us pause to offer You thanks. Creator, we are blessed by such little-big things as the air we breathe and the water we drink, these little-big things that fill our lives with the elements of living, but are commonly overlooked for we do not always stop to think about the wonders of the world which are working. We know that in Your time and space all will been done to fulfill Your glory, Your plans for us. We are reminded by Your Word in the Scripture 1Thessalonians 5:18 to be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all things for this was Your will for us in Christ Jesus.

It is the daily bread of our lives, the everyday comings and goings, were we must pause to give You thanks. We find this a hard task to do in this present day as we are ever mindful of suffering, pain, sorrow, violence, addictions, greed, universal poverty, incurable diseases, mounting cost, dissenting view points, depression, and very day busy-ness of our lives. We are lost in the endless fear of losing yet another family member or friend. We watch endless newscasts about other people suffering and it is all more than we can bear. We find that our voices matter little to others or we are afraid that we will be heard and have to make time to do the work You are calling us to carry out. We also find that we are held captive to our lives and cannot be thankful for all circumstances. Some of us are carrying around decades old anger and fear which we cannot begin to excavate ourselves from nor find any reason to give thanks or forgiveness. Where is the time to continually be joyful, to pray, to be thankful?

We need Your love and guidance now the same as all Your children throughout the generations has need it. We need, in this season of Your creation to slow us down, giving us the chance to pause in thanksgiving and waiting for the Advent for Christ’s coming into our lives to give us a turning point into even more thankfulness and forgiveness. Help us to be thankful for the chance we are given still to ask for and receive forgiveness.

Help us God to truly lift our voices in Praise so that all can hear the wonders of Your world, from the tiniest voices of a baby’s cry to the thundering masses at a sports game, the quiet whispers of hope being uttered over the sickbeds of our nation to the rumbling desert tanks of our solders defending the innocent on distant shores. Help us fill our lives with thanksgiving and forgiveness as we strive for making this time and place the fulfillment of Your kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.Help us to realize that in the act of filling our lives with continuous joy, prayer, and thanksgiving that we are making the choice to take the courage of Christ into our lives so that others may find thanksgiving and forgiveness in their “daily bread.” We ask all these things in the Your name, O God, as Christ taught us. Amen.”

Thanksgiving Prayer for those who lost a loved one in death:

“Dear God, we are here to express our gratitude for all your blessings. You have given us so much, not only providing what we need to live, but in giving us yourself. We are richly blessed, and it is right to acknowledge that you are the source of all good things. Yet this day also brings a mix of emotions to us. We confess our thanks, but also our sadness because of the empty place at our table. We know that death and sorrow were not your original plan, but we also know that you use difficulties to draw us closer to you and to each another. Here and now fill the empty places in our hearts and this empty place at our table. Teach us to savor the moments we have with one another, to rightly remember what we have lost, but also to look forward in hope to what we have promised in the future. We say again, ‘Your love is better than life.’ Thank you for all your blessings, for even through trials and loss you always, somehow reveal your goodness. In Jesus we pray.”

Thanksgiving Prayer

“Heavenly Father, on Thanksgiving Day
We bow our hearts to You and pray.
We give You thanks for all You’ve done
Especially for the gift of Jesus, Your Son.
For beauty in nature, Your glory we see
For joy and health, friends and family,
For daily provision, Your mercy and care
These are the blessings You graciously share.
So today we offer this response of praise
With a promise to follow You all of our days.”
Mary Fairchild

A Thanksgiving Day Prayer

“Lord, so often times, as any other day
When we sit down to our meal and pray

We hurry along and make fast the blessing
Thanks, amen. Now please pass the dressing

We’re slaves to the olfactory overload
We must rush our prayer before the food gets cold

But Lord, I’d like to take a few minute more
To really give thanks to what I’m thankful for

For my family, my health, a nice soft bed
My friends, my freedom, a roof over my head

I’m thankful right now to be surrounded by those
Whose lives touch me more than they’ll ever possibly know

Thankful Lord, that You’ve blessed me beyond measure
Thankful that in my heart lives life’s greatest treasure

That You, dear Jesus, reside in that place
And I’m ever so grateful for Your unending grace

So please, heavenly Father, bless this food You’ve provided
And bless each and every person invited.
Amen!”

Thanksgiving

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

We Gather Together

“We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens his will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing,
Sing praises to his name: He forgets not his own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining his kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, wast at our side, All glory be thine!

We all do extol thee, thou leader triumphant,
And pray that thou still our defender wilt be.
Let thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!
Amen”
Traditional Thanksgiving Hymn
(A translation by Theodore Baker: 1851-1934)

We Give Thanks

“Our Father in Heaven,
We give thanks for the pleasure
Of gathering together for this occasion.
We give thanks for this food
Prepared by loving hands.
We give thanks for life,
The freedom to enjoy it all
And all other blessings.
As we partake of this food,
We pray for health and strength
To carry on and try to live as You would have us.
This we ask in the name of Christ,
Our Heavenly Father.”
Harry Jewell

I Thank Thee

“O Thou whose bounty fills my cup,
With every blessing meet!
I give Thee thanks for every drop—
The bitter and the sweet.

I praise Thee for the desert road,
And for the riverside;
For all Thy goodness hath bestowed,
And all Thy grace denied.

I thank Thee for both smile and frown,
And for the gain and loss;
I praise Thee for the future crown
And for the present cross.

I thank Thee for both wings of love
Which stirred my worldly nest;
And for the stormy clouds which drove
Me, trembling, to Thy breast.

I bless Thee for the glad increase,
And for the waning joy;
And for this strange, this settled peace
Which nothing can destroy.”
Jane Crewdson (1860)

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Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. Cancer. My dad has been diagnosed with B type Hodgkins Lymphoma and my mind is racing a mile a minute. I just received a phone call from my mother telling me the news, and I can’t quite wrap my mind around what she was telling me.

People that know me and my background know that I don’t often hear from my mother. Seeing their phone number appear on the Caller ID immediately makes me think someone in the family was seriously injured in an accident, is very ill or dead. I haven’t heard from my father since 1995, because I chose to leave the religion I was born into, and the results of that choice were automatic and immediate.

In the eyes of my father and most of my siblings, I died in 1995. All because of my personal decision to leave a religious organization I no longer wanted to be a part of. My mother tends to think of me as being in some sort of coma, hoping that I’ll somehow “come to my senses” and take the required and necessary steps to rejoin the religion.

Doing so would mean I would have been miraculously “resurrected from the dead”, where family members and old friends (who haven’t spoken to me since 1995) would suddenly welcome me back with open arms. Not gonna happen. Ever.

My parents live in Dallas, which is only about a 30-minute drive from our house. Having family members living in such close proximity to our house, but rarely hearing from or seeing any of them, is something I’ve never quite gotten used to. The wounds from the past run very deep, and try as I may to “forgive and forget” everything that happened, forgiving and moving on is easier than the ability to actually forget.

My mother said that my 79-year-old father has very itchy skin, or “eczema” as she called it, which is a classic symptom of Hodgkin’s Disease. She said my father has sores on his legs, is always very tired, takes several naps a day and is no longer able to work doing people’s taxes.

Common symptoms of Hodgkins Disease include:

• Appetite Loss

• Drenching night sweats

• Fatigue

• Fever

• Red patches on the skin

• Severely itchy skin, often affecting the legs and feet

• Weight loss

Some of these general signs and symptoms of Hodgkin’s Disease were mentioned by my mother in regards to my father. I can only assume that the sores on my father’s legs are from persistent scratching of his itchy legs, to the point of causing sores to develop.

Reading about the types of Hodgkin’s Disease makes me very nervous for my dad’s prognosis. From what I’ve read so far, “B symptoms are related to an increased cancer “burden”—more cancerous tissue—in many patients and, therefore, indicate a worse prognosis, or outcome.” We don’t know much more than that at this point.

Tests are scheduled to begin soon to determine the specific “stage of Hodgkins” my father would be categorized as being in at this point, and what treatment options there are for him. I briefly read that Chemotherapy and/or radiation may be treatments recommended for my father, but we’ll know more once the test results are in. That’s about all I can handle reading right now. Rather than dwelling on the possible negative prognosis for my father, I’m doing my best to keep calm and dredge up good memories from the past, and just hope for the best outcome.

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“Deaths occur in threes. If one person in your family dies, two more will within a short period of time.” Do deaths come in threes or is it just an old wives tale? There’s been a lot of discussion in the last few days that deaths always happen in threes or celebrity deaths come in threes, and questions about where the “deaths come in 3” tale came from.

My understanding is that the origin of the old wives tale or legend about deaths occurring in threes came from the first world war. When the men would light their cigarettes they knew not to use 3 on a match because the enemy could pinpoint them and shoot them from the light of the match being lit so long.

The myth about deaths in threes is often used as proof regarding “notable”, famous celebrities, but people tend to forget about the deaths of celebrities who may not be quite as famous and well known around the world as others who have died.

Some people also claim that the deaths in threes rule applies to deaths occurring within 3 days of each other, while others claim the myth applies to deaths happening “within a short period of time” according to the legend.

The Wall Street Journal listed some “deaths in threes” examples like this:

• Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens, and the “Big Bopper” all died together in a plane crash in 1959
• Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix and Jim Morrison all died in close succession in 1970-71
• In 2003, Johnny Cash, John Ritter, and Warren Zevon all died within the same week
• In 2005, King Fahd, Peter Jennings and Robin Cook died within a week of each other
• The following year brought the closely timed deaths of Don Knotts, Darren McGavin and Dennis Weaver
• Heath Ledger, Suzanne Pleshette and Brad Renfro all died within a week of each other in January 2008

2009 Celebrity Deaths

If famous celebrity deaths really occur in threes, then who is next?

1. David Carradine
2. Ed McMahon
3. Farrah Fawcett

Then

1. Michael Jackson
2. Billy Mays
3. ????

“If you are at a graveside and for some reason the there is a delay in the burial, it is a sign that the deceased person does not wish to leave this earth alone and want to travel with someone. One of the mourners present will die soon.” Oh pa-leeeze.

Out of all the recent celebrity deaths in 2009, Michael Jackson’s death has hit me the hardest. Perhaps it comes from the deep and profound connection I feel having been born into the same controlling religion (or cult) as Michael, or maybe it’s because of the abuse Michael himself reported in the “Living with Michael Jackson” documentary interview with Martin Basher as having experienced as a child at the hand of his father Joe Jackson, and the aftereffects of such abuse. Maybe it’s all of that plus his incredible music career throughout all these years, and watching the Jackson Five on television years ago, but I’m a huge fan of Michael Jackson and always will be.

Losing Michael Jackson far too soon, at the age of just 50 years old, came as a huge shock to all Jackson fans. I can’t even imagine what the Jackson family must be going through right now, and seeing devastated Janet Jackson at the BET Awards show and Jermaine Jackson’s tearful interview with Matt Lauer on the Today Show shook us all to the core of our being.

Don’t even get me started talking about Joe Jackson’s behavior before the BET Awards show, where he chose that time to promote and hype a stupid record company in the wake of his son’s death. I have no sympathy for Joe Jackson whatsoever, but my heart breaks for the rest of the Jackson family and Michael Jackson’s children, who are suffering deeply and are apparently about to be thrown into a child custody battle involving Debbie Rowe, according to recent news reports.

If the deaths in threes old wives tale were true, then I’d be worried. Having just attended the funeral for my husband’s 84-year-old aunt yesterday along with other family members and friends, if deaths really do happen in threes then all I can say is Uh-Oh, who is next?

R.I.P. Michael Jackson – you will be dearly missed.

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Planning a wedding is fun and exciting, that’s for sure. Brides and grooms begin searching for information on how to plan a wedding, and start looking for wedding planning websites like The Knot Wedding Shop for help in crossing off their wedding planning checklist of everything they’ll need for their wedding, reception and honeymoon.

Shopping for the wedding gown and tuxedos, choosing the flowers, selecting bridesmaids and groomsmen, choosing the wedding cake and favors, wedding dance songs for the father/daughter dance, enjoying the fun parties and wedding gifts couples receive, all in anticipation of getting married to your sweetheart.

This “wedding planning checklist” offers some ideas about many of the things you will need to do in preparation for your upcoming wedding. These are only ideas of things to consider, to be used as a wedding planning guide, and some things may not apply to you. Some items on this wedding planning list apply to the bride while others are typical responsibilities of the groom. In order not become overwhelmed, work as a team to complete the wedding planner checklist before your wedding.

Wedding Planning Checklist

10 to 12 months prior

• Discuss the style, budget, and financing with your Fiancé and ALL parents, or anyone else who is expected to contribute to paying for your wedding, reception and honeymoon.

• Start your Free Personalized Wedding Website
  
• Buy a wedding planner

• Find your perfect wedding invitation. Don’t order Wedding Invitations before checking InvitationConsultants.com.

• Decide the wedding date and time

• Style or type of wedding desired (traditional, modern, big or small, etc.)

• Choose and buy a wedding dress, shoes, veil, undergarments – fittings and alterations take time. Win a Free Wedding Dress!
  
• Decide who will be in the wedding party-number of bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer

• Wedding and reception music desired

• Location or venue for the wedding ceremony and reception

• Choose the color scheme for your wedding – Red Wedding Gowns are very popular!

• Wedding vows – will you write your own wedding vows or use traditional vows?

• Choose a wedding photographer and videographer

• Select a florist for the wedding and reception

• Decide on wedding and reception music: DJ, live band or taped music

• Choose a minister or judge to perform the wedding ceremony

• Select the location for your rehearsal dinner and time

• Decide the reception format: buffet, sit-down dinner, pot-luck, etc.

• Choose who will make your wedding cake(s) – taste tests are very important

• Begin looking at Honeymoon Destinations with your Fiancé or visit a professional travel agent

7 to 9 months prior

• Begin writing wedding vows

• Make a first draft of the wedding invitation list

• Decide on the wedding ceremony music (prelude, processional, solos, recessional, postlude, etc.)

• Choose your wedding invitations

• Select your attendants and ask if they will accept being in the wedding party

• Meet with minister/judge/officiant to discuss ceremony

• Order and/or buy bride’s attendant’s apparel and accessories

• Choose and reserve mens formal wear or tuxedos – get their exact measurements

• Buy wedding accessories such as earrings, necklace, purse, shoes, gloves, cufflinks, etc.

• Decide the rehearsal dinner menu and reception menu

• Finalize honeymoon plans and itinerary, hotel lodging, transportation, event tickets, etc

• Complete your bridal registry and what items will be on the registry. Register with at least two well-known bridal registries

4 to 6 months prior

• Choose poetry or scripture readings for ceremony, and ask possible ceremony readers if they’ll accept the responsibility

• Finalize the guest list for the wedding and reception

• Buy or order wedding invitations, R.S.V.P cards and announcements

• Choose a professional Calligrapher to address the wedding invitations or do it yourself

• Decide if roses will be given to the mothers before, during or at the end of the ceremony

• Meet with wedding florist to choose flowers and accessories for the ceremony and reception such as pew bows, candles, candleabras, etc.

• Chauffers, limousines, horse-drawn carriage, etc

• Order Bridesmaids Dresses
  
• Order wedding bands

• Buy flower girl basket

• Buy pillow for ring-bearer

• Plan and finalize details with pianist, organist, DJ or other music entertainment

• Make/print directions and map for rehearsal dinner, wedding ceremony and reception

• Buy/order wedding favors for your guests

• Choose Wedding/Reception decorations such as candles, flowers, center pieces, balloons, arches, etc.

• Decide the flavor(s) and style of wedding cake and groom’s cake

2 to 3 months prior

• Start memorizing your wedding vows if necessary

• Decide how your attendants will process and stand at the ceremony

• Choose your “something borrowed, something blue, something old, and something new” to wear on your wedding day

• Choose the color and length of bridesmaids dresses; color and style of hosiery and shoes for bridesmaids

• Decide where bride, groom and attendants will get dressed for the ceremony

• Buy Flowergirl Dress
  
• Buy after-wedding/honeymoon lingerie and clothes you might need

• Buy wedding rings or bands

• Buy or order wedding invitations and programs

• Buy disposable cameras for reception tables

• Buy or order birdseed packets (if allowed) or bubbles, etc.

• Buy wedding ceremony guest book and pen

• Buy wedding cake knife, napkins, throw/keepsake garters etc for reception

• Finalize reception rental items: candelabra, table linens, canopy, tables/chairs, etc.

• Buy Postage stamps for invitations, response cards, and thank-you notes

• Schedule/confirm makeup artist/hair/nail appointments for wedding

• Get complete addresses of everyone on invitation list

• Finalize catering, bakery, florist, formal wear/tuxedo measurements

4 to 8 weeks prior

• Get marriage license with Fiancé

• Have final fitting of wedding gown and bridesmaids dresses.

• Contact newspaper regarding wedding announcement

• Show final program to officiant and organist to check for accuracy

• Plan rehearsal and rehearsal dinner.

• Confirm all transportation for all events (including honeymoon)

• Prepare all the necessary forms for name address changes on social security card, credit cards, bank accounts, post office, driver’s license, etc.

2 to 3 weeks prior

• Pay all balances due and remaining security deposits

• It’s time for the groom’s hair appointment

• Affix poems to disposable cameras

• Have final meeting with: florist, caterer, photographer/videographer, musicians, rental services, chauffer/transportation, travel agent

• Confirm final nail/hair appointments, hotel reservations for wedding night

1 week prior

• Pick up wedding gown and veil, if necessary

• Wedding party men (groom/fathers/ushers/groomsmen) to pick up tuxedos and shoes

• Double check rehearsal dinner plans

• Give wedding day schedule to all at rehearsal dinner

• Fill out first page of guest book

• Give final guest count to reception venue location and/or caterer

• Finish packing for honeymoon, buy traveler’s checks or foreign currency if needed

1 day prior

• Take favors, disposable cameras, centerpieces, cake knife and server, toasting glasses, CD’s, and birdseed roses to reception hall.

• Bride and attendants go to nail appointment

Morning of Wedding

• Bride, maid-of-honor and attendants hair appointment

• Give groom’s wedding band to Maid of Honor and bride’s wedding ring to Best Man prior to ceremony.

• Tell everyone you don’t want to hear about any mishaps or problems! Try to relax and enjoy the whole day. Keep yourself OFF of any to-do list items if any are remaining to be done. Designate to your attendants; that’s what they’re for.

Congratulations!

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Have you heard about GoFish? How about the Mom Song by the Go Fish Guys? GoFish is a Christian singing group of three guys, Jamie Statema (founder of GoFish), Jason Folkmann and Andy Selness. GoFish, also known as the Go Fish Guys, started out as an a cappella group founded in 1993, using nothing but vocals and percussion.

GoFish became branded as “a cappella with an attitude”, whose songs include the Mom Song, Christmas With a Capital C, American Kid, Superstar and many others. The GoFish website, www.gofishguys.com, is labeled as “Go Fish – Great Music For Kids That Won’t Drive Parents Bonkers!!”, which was enough to cause me to spend some time on the GoFish site and check out Jamie’s Go Fish Guy blog at www.gofishguy.typepad.com. Jamie must be a very cool guy, considering the fact that his blog logo includes my favorite Dr. Seuss quote “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind” which is my personal motto in life.

“Party Like a Preschooler” by the Go Fish Guys is a best-selling album collection of 11 songs kids love and won’t drive parents bonkers, and there’s even a bonus track for dads, “It’s hard to be cool (in a mini-van)!” This “Party” album contains song titles including “Do Your Ears Hang Low”, “The Wheels on the Bus”, “Pop Goes the Weasel”, “5 Little Monkeys”, “The A,B,C’s”, “John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt”, “The Cow and The Peanut” and other kid songs moms and dads will enjoy just as much as kids do.

But it doesn’t stop there. GoFish music includes best-selling CD/DVDs besides “Party Like a Preschooler”, including such titles as: Snazzy, Showtime DVD, Snooze, Superstar, Splash and Snow (a Christmas music collection) that children and families love! There’s even GoFish sheet music and performance tracks that can be downloaded for FREE from the GoFish website so you can sing Go Fish Guys songs at your church or event.

GoFish Mom Song

I love mom songs, as can be seen and heard from the two songs to mom previously posted, including the Mom Song William Tell Overture by Patti Hershey and the Mom Song Kids Response by Vanessa Van Petten, including lyrics to both mom songs.

GoFish has their own Mom Song and I’d be remiss not to include this Mom Song by GoFish to my list of favorite mom songs for moms. I’m even including the Mom Song Lyrics by GoFish if you want to print the lyrics and sing along with this Mom Song YouTube video by GoFish.

Be sure to check out GoFish on Twitter and the GoFish website to check out their entire collection of music, photos, apparel and concert schedule that thankfully won’t drive parents bonkers!

The Mom Song by GoFish Lyrics

If you have a stroller
But you’re still a rock and roller
You’re a mom
If you’re tired of doing dishes
And you know who Elmo’s fish is
You’re a mom
If you have a lot of fun
But your work is never done
You’re a mom

You’re the boss, the driver
The ultimate survivor
A doctor, a cooker
Your man thinks you’re a looker
If you work all day
But you never get paid
You’re a mom

If you need a sick day
But instead you’re gonna play
You’re a mom
If your first occupation
Sounds like a sweet vacation
You’re a mom
If your living room floor
Looks like a toy store
You’re a mom

If you mean the whole world
To a little boy or girl
You’re a mom
The Bible that you hold
Can shape these little souls
You’re a mom
If you have the most important job in the world
You’re a mom

You’re the boss, the driver
The ultimate survivor
A doctor, a cooker
Your man thinks you’re a looker
If you work all day
But you never get paid
You’re a mom

Do you have any favorite Mom Songs? What songs for moms do you enjoy or find funny and/or enjoyable to listen and sing along to?

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UPDATED: Who pays for what? Who decides the wedding budget when planning a wedding? Who pays the wedding costs and expenses according to traditional wedding etiquette vs. modern etiquette? Who pays for the honeymoon? How do you go about planning a wedding when you have Cinderella wedding dreams dancing in your head?

Who pays for what is a common question for brides, grooms, and their families when it comes time to begin planning a wedding. If you do an online search for “wedding who pays”, “who pays for wedding” or even “who pays for what wedding”, you’ll find a lot of old-fashioned, archaic nonsense akin to the 18th or 19th century.

It’s about time that brides, grooms and parents begin to pay attention and accept the changes taking place in American wedding customs about who pays for weddings, receptions and honeymoons with open arms, not an open bank account, Credit Cards or loans.

Planning a Wedding On a Budget

According to The Knot Wedding Shop, a popular wedding planning website, the average cost of a wedding in the U.S. is expected to drop at least 10% in 2009 from the average price of $21,814 for a wedding in 2008. Due to the economy, personal financial circumstances and just plain common sense, engaged couples and families are having to find ways to cut wedding costs while still planning a beautiful, affordable, spectacular wedding that won’t create a financial burden for whoever ultimately pays for the wedding.

“Traditional” rules say the bride’s parents pay for everything but the kitchen sink, except for a little help from the groom’s family, who have traditionally been expected to pay for the rehearsal dinner and groom’s cake. Tradition hasn’t been too kind to the bride’s parents, who have been saddled for far too long with the cost of an expensive wedding and reception for their darling daughter and her Cinderella fairytale-fantasy dreams of the perfect wedding.

This is not the 18th or 19th century, and traditional wedding customs have shifted to a more modern view of wedding etiquette and how wedding expenses are to be paid and by whom. Thank goodness for that! Despite your best efforts, weddings, receptions and honeymoons can easily become very expensive, and no one should feel obligated to accept a financial burden of paying more than what is reasonable or what you feel comfortable paying, if anything.

The days of planning a wedding and reception, then sticking dear ol’ mom and dad with the whole tab are over, but some of today’s brides want to have their cake and eat it too. These brides want what they want and they want it now, and when it comes right down it, some brides use the buzz words “traditionally, parents pay for the wedding and reception” in order to guilt-trip parents into paying for a “typical wedding” they may not be able to afford.

In the olden, “traditional” days, women typically stayed at home and didn’t have jobs or careers of their own and couples certainly weren’t living together as is so common today, but try as you may to remind your son or daughter that times have changed to a more modern view of wedding etiquette, and you will likely see some rolling of the eyes or foot stomping as they attempt to come up with another guilt-trip.

Traditional views and trends have changed to where we now see couples deciding to live together before marriage while working full-time jobs of their own, couples getting married later in life, and the increased number of second marriages and blended families.

This more “modern” trend towards greater maturity before marriage brings higher income levels and the ability for engaged couples to take on a more responsible, active role in paying for their own wedding, reception and honeymoon, according to their personal wedding budget.

Who Pays for What?

That is not to say that parents and families on either side can’t or shouldn’t help pay for or assist in covering the cost of a wedding. If you can, want or decide to pay for or split the costs of your son or daughter’s wedding, by all means do so. Just don’t get caught up in the tangled web of old-fashioned rules of traditional wedding etiquette, or allow your son or daughter to hurl guilt-trips at you when or if you are unable to afford paying what he or she expects you to pay for their wedding.

Which begs the question; Who decides what the wedding budget will be? More traditional, typical nonsense found online, in bridal magazines and wedding books telling couples how to plan a wedding, suggest that couples who have told their parents they are getting married should FIRST: decide what type of wedding they want, create a wedding planning checklist, choose the wedding location, decide the theme, style, colors etc, decide how many bridesmaids and groomsmen there will be, decide the wedding budget and THEN hit the parents up for the money.

Back up the horse-drawn carriage or thoughts of wedding limousine services for a modern-day reality-check. Before the bride and groom jump feet first into planning a wedding, ordering a tiffany wedding cake, picking out his and her wedding bands, or begin shopping for wedding china and table settings, couples should FIRST: have a conversation with each person or family member that is hoped/expected to pay for the wedding in order to ASK what each can afford to contribute to the wedding (if anything), BEFORE making any money-related decisions whatsoever.

THEN you will know in advance how much money there is to work with, and you can plan your wedding around a wedding budget that has been decided by the people who are actually paying for the wedding. Your parents/family may offer to pay for certain parts of the wedding, like paying for your wedding dress, the wedding flowers, invitations or food at the reception etc, or they may offer you a lump sum of money to help cover the overall cost of the wedding.

It is possible that your parents or family may not be financially able to contribute any monies at all; which means the engaged couple will have to pay for the entire wedding themselves. Even if your parents or family cannot afford to pay for the wedding as a whole or in part, you can still have a beautiful, if not spectacular, wedding by searching for creative, inexpensive or cheap wedding planning ideas.

Sources:

Who Pays For What at a Wedding

Wedding Budget: Who Pays For What

Old-School Wedding Etiquette Gets a Thoroughly Modern Makeover

Who Pays For What?

Who Pays For Weddings These Days?

Son’s Wedding…well what do you think?

Related article: How to Plan a Wedding

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• Modern Weddings Who Pays For What – Who Pays For Wedding Costs?
• How to Manipulate Parents and Get Parents to Do What You Want
• Wedding Planning, How To Plan A Wedding, Wedding Planner Checklist
• Second Child Baby Shower Etiquette – Is a Second Baby Shower Ok?
• A Marriage Without Regrets – Do You Regret Getting Married?

Do you regret getting married? Have you ever said to yourself “I regret getting married”? Is your marriage a happy marriage or an unhappy marriage? If you could do it all over again, would you still choose to be married to your spouse? Are you planning on getting married? Why? The sheer number of unhappy marriages and staggering divorce rates should give dating and/or engaged couples reason for pause, and serious consideration into building a happy marriage without regrets in order to avoid divorce altogether.

According to a study of 4000 married couples carried out by market research firm OnePoll.com, a quarter of married men and women regret getting married to their spouses, while 15% of engaged couples planning to get married have misgivings about their upcoming nuptials. Is it “cold feet” pre-wedding jitters, or is there something more serious going on? Why do people regret getting married?

The average married couple gives up on romance just two years, six months and 25 days into a marriage, according to the research poll. “We tend to think of marriage as something people do when they are in love but this survey reveals that people tie the knot for all sorts of different reasons,” OnePoll’s John Sewell said. “And many of them aren’t sure they want to get married — even as they are standing at the altar saying their vows, which may worry some brides and grooms-to-be.”

• Four percent of the married people surveyed said they had gotten married for the wrong reasons, because they wanted wedding presents and a party, not because they were in love.

• 23 percent said they would not marry their partner if they could do it all over again, and 14 percent wished they had married someone else from their past.

• Only 28 percent confessed to being virgins when they met their future spouse, with some respondents saying they had slept with an average of four people before they met their marriage partner, and five percent admitted to having 20 or more previous sexual partners.

• 35 percent said the person they married was not the best sexual partner they have ever had and another 33 percent said that being single was more fun than being married.

• 12 percent of people surveyed said they stay with their partner just because they couldn’t be bothered to find someone new.

• Fifteen percent of husbands and wives admitted to lying to each other about their love lives, with most decreasing the number of previous sexual partners while two percent admitted to boosting the number.

• 83 percent of those surveyed said they couldn’t be bothered to celebrate the date they tied the knot by their third anniversary.

• Seven out of ten men admitted they were so comfortable with their spouse they frequently left socks, pants and other dirty washing lying around the house, while 79 percent admitted they no longer bothered to put the toilet seat down.

• 75 percent of men and women said they wouldn’t relinquish control over the remote control to their other half, even if they asked nicely.

• Two thirds of the married women polled said they no longer put forth the effort to dress up and look nice for their spouse. Nearly a third said they stay on the far side of the bed, claiming they don‘t have time for sex with their husbands.

• 54 percent of women polled no longer bothered wearing make-up; 61 percent admitted that they throw on a ratty T-shirt, comfy tracksuit bottoms or pajamas as soon as they got home from work, and 10 percent of married women said they don’t bother to wear sexy lingerie to spice things up in the bedroom.

• 83 percent of couples surveyed held hands often while out during the first few months of marriage, compared to just 38 percent after a decade of being married.

• Prior to the first wedding anniversary, partners would cuddle and hug more than eight times a day- compared with five or fewer after ten years of marriage. 60 percent said they hadn’t been surprised with a romantic night out since getting hitched.

John Sewell said, “It would appear that many are stuck in a rut, and whilst they still love their other half, they’re a little too comfortable in each others company. Couples need to find a good balance between feeling comfortable and taking each other for granted. The odd romantic meal would probably be all many couples need to spice things up a bit – and small gestures such as tidying up, and helping out with the housework would go a long way.”

Right and Wrong Reasons to Get Married

Marriage regrets often happen because dating and/or engaged couples haven’t considered their reasons for wanting to get married in the first place. Couples don’t think about the pros and cons of marriage, but choose to focus their time, attention and financial resources to the Cinderella wedding fairytale fantasy while planning a wedding that lasts just one day.

There are good reasons to get married and bad reasons to get married, but brides-to-be and grooms-to-be often pay too much attention to planning the fairytale fluff of the wedding day ceremony and reception, rather than planning and preparing for marriage and the difficulties that go with being married after the wedding day is over.

Brides-to-be often plan their wedding at The Knot Wedding Shop where decisions are made about the wedding budget, wedding dress, flowers, bridesmaids, groomsmen, flower girls, ring bearers, wedding cake, grooms cake, wedding rings, wedding invitations, chapel or wedding venue options, the honeymoon, DJ, photographer and video etc. Your wedding day is just one day out of the rest of your life.

Marriage Without Regrets

If you really want a marriage without regrets that lasts a lifetime, you need to prepare for marriage, starting with asking the hard before marriage questions every couple should ask and answer before getting married in order to have a happy, successful marriage without any regrets.

1. Resolving conflict in marriage
2. Understanding each partner’s role
3. Improving the sexual relationship
4. Becoming financially wise
5. Respecting and keeping marriage vows

Getting married for the wrong reasons can quickly lead to an unhappy marriage ending in divorce, because couples did not prepare for marriage properly, were too young to get married or didn’t consider the fact that being married and being happily married are two entirely different things.

See: How to Please a Woman in Bed, Pleasure and Satisfy Her Completely

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Most Popular Blog Posts

When I decided to start a blog with my very first blog post more than two years ago, I didn’t know anything about creating a blog where I could share parenting advice, marriage and relationship advice etc, but I knew that starting a blog that wasn’t just a personal blog all about me was something I was/am passionate about and I look forward to creating many more popular blog posts in 2009.

As we ring in the New Year, I’d like to share some of the most popular blog posts from Telling It Like It Is, based on popularity, number of views and/or comments, and a few of my personal favorites thrown in for good measure.

1. Why Are Women So Strange and Men So Weird?
2. Are Parents Helping Or Enabling Their Adult Children?
3. Inside the Minds of Angry, Controlling and Abusive Men
4. Helping and Enabling – Is There A Difference?
5. How to Get Along With the In-Laws: Dealing With In-Laws and Extended Family
6. Toxic Relationships – Toxic Family Members
7. Keeping the Fire Alive in Your Marriage
8. How to Spice Up Your Marriage: Fun and Easy Ways to Add Romance to Your Relationship
9. Zero Tolerance for Disrespectful, Cussing Kids
10. So Sexy, So Soon: The Sexualization of Childhood in Commercial Culture
11. Building Self-Confidence in Children with Self-Esteem Activities
12. Understanding Assertiveness: Getting The Respect You Deserve
13. Child Sexual Abuse: Facts VS. Myths
14. Taking Care of Aging Parents as a Family
15. Evaluating And Choosing The Right Niche For Your Personality And Passion
16. Can I Get Paid to Care for a Family Member: Elderly Mother or Father?
17. How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law
18. A Sense of Entitlement
19. Children and Divorce: How to Tell Children About Your Divorce
20. 10 Ways to Raise Children to USE Drugs
21. The Lolita Effect: The Media Sexualization of Young Girls and What We Can Do About It
22. How to Fight Fair in Marriage
23. Computer Monitoring Software- Do You Know What Your Kids Are Doing Online?
24. How to Spot a Gold Digger
25. Miley Cyrus AKA Hanna Montana Going Topless For Vanity Fair

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Happy Holidays! Feliz Navidad! Happy Hanukkah! Merry Christmas! I’ve seen Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas in different languages on the net, but I’m not about to start saying Happy Holidays just because saying Merry Christmas might offend someone. Too bad, so sad. It’s called Christmas With a Capitol C people!

I don’t care if you say Happy Holidays or Merry  Christmas or simply “have a great day”. The point is that there is continuing debate about the legalities of having Christmas nativity scenes or a copy of the Bible etc in or around public places because “someone might be offended”.  Just to be clear, I say Happy Holidays as well as Merry Christmas during the holiday season, and will continue to do so no matter what.

“IT’S CALLED CHRISTMAS WITH A CAPITAL C”

It’s called Christmas!

Well I went to the coffee shop to get myself a mocha,
The lady at the counter said “Happy holidays”;
I said, “Thanks lady, I am pretty happy,
But there’s only one holiday that makes me feel that way.”

It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”

God’s got a law and we pretty much destroyed it.
We’re gonna get judged, there’s no way to avoid it.
But Jesus came down to take the punishment for me.
He did it for you too, so maybe you can see . . .

Why It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”

It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!
It’s called Christmas!

It’s called Christmas, what more can I say?
It’s about the birth of Christ
and you can’t take that away.
You can call it something else,
but that’s not what it will be.
It’s called Christmas with a capital “C.”

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Last Minute Christmas Gift Ideas

Christmas 2008 is fast approaching and if you wait until the last minute to buy Christmas gifts, like on Xmas Eve, you may be out of luck. I have a tendency to forget about buying Christmas music or downloading Christmas music until the last minute, but fortunately Amazon is offering 25 days of FREE Christmas mp3 downloads that even I can’t pass up.

In the true spirit of Christmas giving and to help you find Christmas gifts for those on your list (or gifts for the person “who has everything”), I’d like to offer up a few gift ideas for your consideration.

• Candles make a great Christmas gift for candle lovers, and I can personally vouch for Mia Bella Candles as being the best candles I’ve ever had the pleasure to burn.
• Gayla is running a Christmas Holiday Shopping Extravaganza that includes gift ideas for her and gifts for him, and gifts for the most difficult person to find gifts for.
• Cath Lawson has some unique Christmas gift ideas for business owners to seriously consider this holiday season.
• Mrs. Micah sure isn’t stumped about the best Christmas presents for the blogger in your life. That Thesis Theme is sure looking good right about now.
• Christine from Weary Parent offers up some holiday gifts for tweens and teens that is sure to please the teens and tweens in your life.
• The Art of Manliness gifts for men holiday gift guide is a must read if you are buying gifts for men such as a husband, father, boyfriend, etc.
• If you are having a difficult time this Christmas and feeling stressed due to the economy or other reasons, Lynnae has some great low cost ideas for you.
• Frugal living is living within your means, or better yet, living below your means even at Christmastime. 50 frugal Christmas gift ideas will definitely help keep your xmas spending reasonable and responsible.

Christmas Gifts for Kids

• 2008 Christmas Hot Toys – Hot Toys for Christmas 2008
• 50 Christmas Movies: Best Classic Christmas Movies
• Most Popular Christmas Toys for Kids – Christmas Toys for Boys and Girls
• TOP 40 Children’s Magazines
• 101 Best Children’s Books – Classic Children’s Books

Christmas Gifts for Needy Children

• The One Dollar Give: One Dollar Can Make A Lot of Difference

• Donate Christmas Toys For Tots – Christmas Donations for Needy Children

Christmas Tipping

Christmas Tipping – Christmas Tip for Who and How Much?

Day After Christmas Sales

Christmas and Day After Christmas Online Sales

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