How thin is too thin? If you think childhood obesity statistics are shocking, there is increasing concern about how the pressure to be thin in society is affecting girls and boys through the media, and how girls in particular are more obsessed with dieting than in previous generations. The obsession to be thin has lead to an increase in eating disorders like anorexia and bulimia in girls as young as 5-years-old, according to recent studies and surveys.

Girls whose moms are on a diet are almost twice as likely to suffer from an eating disorder, according to a recent survey of over 500 teenage girls between the ages of 12 to 18, conducted by teen magazine Sugar. Most of the teenage girls surveyed said they felt damaged by their mother’s dieting obsession and views on food and considered their mothers to be the biggest influence on their own self-image.

Got boys, rather than girls? You’re still not out of the woods moms and dads. Boys struggle with body image too, even though boys may not be as vocal about it, but unrealistic, unhealthy body image standards for boys are very common. Media and peer pressure to be thin and not “heavy”, build big biceps, and create those hard, toned bodies and six-pack abs has become society’s idea of the ideal body for boys and men.

“Thinheritance” is the new modern term describing females who have “inherited” their mothers views and opinions about her own body image, which is then projected onto the daughters by way of comments about body weight issues and concerns about being “fat”. Moms, ask yourself, do you have poor body image? When you look in the mirror or put your clothes on in the morning, do you tell yourself that you are too fat, too thin, ugly, old and tired? The things you tell yourself about how you feel about your own body, shape, size, weight and measurements may very well be affecting your daughter’s perception and beliefs about her body image.

Girls and Dieting

The results of the survey of the teen girls by Sugar shows the dieting obsession for girls in particular and the serious dangers associated with extreme dieting should be a wake-up call for both moms and dads.

• Two-thirds (66%) said they had heard their mom complain about her own weight and 56% of the girls have mothers who are on a diet, despite the fact that 68% of the girls described their mother‘s body size as perfectly normal.

• More than half of teenage girls surveyed (51%) have dieted, which becomes 59% among girls whose mothers diet.

• Almost eight out of 10 (78%) girls worry about their weight, and 20% say they worry about their looks all the time.

• One in five girls said they are criticized by family members for being “too big” and 51% of the girls have been hurt by their parents talking about their size.

• Almost one in three girls surveyed have been called names like ‘elephant’ or ‘beast’ or ‘heifer’ by their relatives.

• Amongst the girls who get comments about their weight from their families, 58% worry about their looks all the time.

• 9% of teenage girls say they are ‘constantly’ on a diet. Among girls whose families comment on their weight, this number tripled to 24%.

Psychologist Amanda Hills commented on the survey results saying:

“Children learn how to behave by watching their parents.

‘Food becomes an issue when mum isn’t sitting down to dinner with everyone else or is off preparing a separate meal for herself.

‘And a dieting parent will label certain foods as ‘bad’ or ‘wrong’, which can lead to an unhealthy approach to food.

‘The ‘drip-drip’ effect of constant self-criticism in front of easily-influenced teens teaches them to do likewise.

‘If mum’s calling herself fat, it won’t be long before her daughter is too.

‘I would say at least half of the people I see with an eating disorder admit that there are problems with eating in the family.”

Body Image in the Media

The pressure to be thin and “perfect” in society today brings dangerous consequences for our young people, but it seems this twit doesn’t understand that girls don’t need to be a walking, talking, skeleton-like toothpick. There was a time when the “ideal” body weight, size and measurements women wanted to emulate and aspire to look like (and men drooled over) was that of famous celebrities like Raquel Welch, Marilyn Monroe, Gina Lollobrigida, Jayne Mansfield and Sophia Loren with their voluptuous, hourglass figures and curvy shapes.

Nowadays, the media bombards us and our children with airbrushed pictures and images of models and celebrities who are waif-like thin, too skinny for their own good and look more like wire hangers than human beings. Counter that with a junk celebrity news article by the New York Post listing “50 Fat Celebrities”, which included “Daisy Duke”-wearing Jessica Simpson dubbed “Jumbo Jessica”; Jennifer Love Hewitt; Eva Longoria Parker; Mischa Barton and former Sports Illustrated swimsuit model and Dancing with the Stars alum Rachel Hunter.

In 1986, researchers from the University of California at San Francisco showed that 80% of fourth-grade girls were dieting. According to the Journal of Psychosocial Nursing, children as young as five are starting to show signs of poor body image and are dieting. Very young children going on diets has been found to be very dangerous because it can stunt a child’s growth and brain development. Research from Harris Interactive Surveys of 1,059 girls found that between 2000 and 2006, the percentage of girls who believe that they must be thin to be popular rose from 48% to 60%.

All it takes to understand the difference between girls and dieting years ago and the extreme measures now being taken to become the supposed beauty ideal of thin and skinny vs. fat and ugly is by seeing pictures and images of the history and timeline of when the media and society went nuts about being thin. Another study reveals that girls as young as seven would like to change something about their appearance and half of 16 to 21-year-olds would consider cosmetic surgery to achieve what they believe to be the ideal, perfect, sexy body.

The research, carried out by Girlguiding UK, shows that 95% of 16 to 21-year-olds would change their bodies, with 33 percent saying they wanted to be thinner and around a quarter of 16 to 21-year-olds said they would consider resorting to cosmetic surgery and botox. The constant barrage of media messages in society about thinness, dieting and beauty tells “ordinary” girls and women that they are always in need of adjustment and fine-tuning, and that the female body is an object to be perfected.

Moms and dads, protect and safeguard your body image and that of your sons and daughters by educating yourself about the difference between body image vs. self image and living a healthy lifestyle. Do not go on a diet and do not put your son or daughter on a diet, even if they are overweight or “morbidly obese”. Diets are temporary and the diet industry is a $55 billion dollar industry with a 95% failure rate. Living a healthy lifestyle requires raising your standards, making healthy food choices, changing your perception and focusing on what is your personal best rather than what the media and society would have you believe is the “ideal” body.

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Give up coffee? Who, me? Why should I stop drinking coffee when I like the taste of coffee? Can someone really be addicted to caffeine in coffee? Maybe, maybe not, depending on which research studies and health experts you believe. Almost every morning I enjoy two or three cups of home-brewed coffee to start my day, and it’s not uncommon for me to have two more cups of coffee at night while writing or watching television, especially on cold winter nights.

If drinking a freshly brewed cup of coffee or two first thing in the morning doesn’t give you a jolt of energy to get your day started, reading the “evidence” about how caffeine is addictive and all the reasons why you or I should stop drinking coffee will be enough to give you jitters that last all day long. If the amount of coffee and tea I drink on a daily basis makes me a caffeine addict, then coffee addiction is an addiction I’m content to accept being what it is.

Are you a caffeine addict? Are you one of millions of Americans who kick-start their day getting a Starbucks coffee caffeine fix one or more times a day? I haven’t been to a Starbucks coffee shop in years because, as you know, you can make coffee at home and it’s a lot cheaper than buying coffee at 7-11 or Starbucks. I’m not even sure how much a cup of coffee at Starbucks costs these days, but I can think of many other more important things to do with my money than spending it on an expensive Starbucks latte or espresso.

Why Give Up Coffee or Caffeine?

Reading health-related articles that talk about the need for coffee drinkers to understand the effects caffeine has on a person’s body and advice to stop drinking coffee completely is enough to give me a headache, and I’m not referring to the kind of caffeine addiction commonly referred to as caffeine intoxication that can lead to death. Death caused by drinking coffee? Seems that way, especially if you are prone to drinking a lot of coffee in rapid succession, consuming too much caffeine and/or taking caffeine pills that may lead to an overdose of caffeine which can be lethal in extreme cases.

Researchers say caffeine intoxication or “caffeine overdose” can lead to a condition called caffeinism, bringing about a variety of physical and mental conditions that include nervousness, irritability, anxiety, insomnia, muscle twitching and heart palpitations, and that’s just for starters. Overdosing on caffeine or coffee kind of reminds me of hot dog eating contests, where contestants cram as many hot dogs down their gullet as humanly possible without killing themselves or becoming sick to their stomach, but who would drink 80-100 cups of coffee that quickly?!

There are just as many articles talking about the health benefits of coffee, tea and sodas etc (saying the caffeine content found in many foods and drinks we choose to consume are good for us) as there are “caffeine addiction” articles telling people to quit caffeine once and for all, including a large number of reported reasons why caffeine is bad for you.

Is caffeine bad for you or is caffeine good for you? People who consume caffeine on a regular basis, but say they are not addicted to caffeine and don’t experience caffeine withdrawal symptoms, will inevitably be told they are fooling themselves about their caffeine addiction because they have supposedly built up a tolerance to caffeine which can still be dangerous to your health.

Common Sources of Caffeine

Included amongst the most common sources of caffeine are coffee, tea, cocoa beans, chocolate, soft drinks and energy drinks. Caffeine is also present in some over-the-counter pain relievers, cold medications, chocolate pudding, coffee flavored yogurt and diet pills, just to name a few. Coffee drinkers who want to give up caffeine by switching to decaf should know that decaffeinated coffee isn’t completely free of caffeine either.

Some articles recommend that people wanting to live a longer life by incorporating a healthy lifestyle into their daily routine should stop drinking coffee cold turkey, only to be countered by other articles talking about the harmful effects of quitting cold turkey. Quitting coffee cold turkey is said to bring about some nasty side effects and withdrawal symptoms including headaches, fatigue, anxiety, irritability, depressed mood and difficulty concentrating.

Hello? Why can’t the so-called health experts simply make up their minds and provide solid evidence of their findings for us all to make an informed choice of our own, instead of being so contradictory and all over the map? There are a lot of myths associated with caffeine that even health experts can’t seem to agree on, and some of the so-called facts about caffeine and what happens inside your body when you consume too much caffeine borders on the ridiculous.

Just for fun, I took an online quiz to find out if I am addicted to coffee and the results of the silly test came back as I expected. I am not a coffee addict, nor do I experience any of the so-called withdrawal symptoms reported by those who claim to be caffeine addicts and are now trying to quit. On days where I don’t drink coffee or consume caffeinated drinks at all, I don’t get headaches or any other withdrawal symptoms others have said they experience.

Research studies and reports by doctors and scientists about the effects of coffee drinking and caffeine on the body can’t seem to come to any real decisive conclusion, so if you are trying to decide if you are a coffee addict or feel you should quit drinking coffee, gradually cutting back on caffeine is apparently the best way to quit caffeine.

Perhaps it would be too much to ask, but it would be nice if health experts would finally get their facts straight about caffeine consumption and what effect the various sources of caffeine in food and carbonated caffeine drinks actually has on consumers once and for all. Until there are solid reasons to stop drinking coffee entirely, I’m going to continue defending my coffee habit and keep on enjoying my coffee in moderation, like right now.

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Do you need to make online cash? A lot of people feel the need to make money online and if you are someone who wants to earn extra money from home in your spare time or on a full-time basis to help pay the bills, freelance writing should be at the top of your list of things to learn how to do.

There are a lot of ways to make money from home, and I’m not referring to stuffing envelopes, doing paid online surveys or trying to make money mystery shopping. Nor am I going to recommend any kind of “earn money at home” job that is nothing but a scam. If you want or need to earn money from home, you need to understand that there are scammers on the internet just waiting to take your money with bogus offers of how to earn money fast and easy. Beware of at-home jobs that are nothing but a ripoff!

Learning how to become a freelance writer is not rocket science. You don’t need a college degree, a high school diploma or even the best typing skills. If you can read and write in English, you can earn money from home fulfilling any number of freelance writing jobs online or offline to earn extra money at home on your computer. I make money typing at home on my computer keyboard as a writer, and if I can earn money at home writing, so can you.

How to Become a Freelance Writer For Beginners

There are a lot of stay-at-home moms making money hand over fist as freelance writers online and offline who started off as beginners, writing in their spare time while taking care of their children at home. Men and women of all ages are finding that freelance writing is an excellent job opportunity to make money from home, and parents who are working part-time or full-time outside the home but want to stay home with their kids can easily learn how to make money at home as work-at-home moms or dads.

How much money you can earn as a freelance writer depends on you and how much time and effort you are willing to put into starting and building your freelance writing business, to the point where writing and earning money from home becomes second nature to you. You don’t need special equipment or a fancy home office either. If you have a chair to sit on, a table or desk for your computer and some kind of Internet connection, you can become an online freelance writer starting today with no previous experience or special qualifications.

You may be wondering, how do I become a freelance writer if I don’t know how or where to begin? All you need to start freelance writing is a helpful guide that provides the step-by-step instructions to becoming a successful freelance writer, written by knowledgeable and experienced writers who work from home as freelance writers and know what they are talking about. Who better to get advice about freelancing from than people who are actually earning money themselves as freelance writers?

In the 65-page freelance writing guide ebook called “Freelance Superstar”, beginner and intermediate freelance writers are provided easy-to-understand tips and instructions on how to become a freelance writing superstar, such as:

• How to start a freelancing career

• How much money freelance writers can make

• Review list of 24 online writing gig job sites

• Ways to get high-paying clients

• Difference between regular writing and SEO writing

• Difference between content writing and copywriting

• How to improve your writing skills

• How to get repeat business and clients

• How to get paid as a freelancer

And that’s just for starters! Bonus items available for a limited time are:

1. Email templates you can use to solicit clients
2. Process map for your freelance career
3. Gorgeous “Portfolio” WordPress themes
4. Step-by-step blogging video tutorials

Authors Gobala Krishnan and Monika Mundell have both been earning a cool full-time income from freelance writing for years, and through their freelance writing guide you too can discover exactly how to become a well-paid, successful freelance writing superstar in your own right. Do you want to be a freelance writer? What are you waiting for?

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Do you want to become a freelance writer and get paid to write online or offline as a well paid writer? Do you know what freelance writing is and how much money you can make as a freelancer? Do you want to quit your job and work from home writing freelance articles, perhaps as a newspaper or magazine writer, and get paid to write?

Maybe you are a stay-at-home mom or you lost your job in the recession and want to know how to become a freelance writer and work for yourself without the stress and worry of where the next paycheck will come from. Well then, you should seriously consider the fact that freelance writing is an excellent job opportunity you or anyone else can do in the comfort of your own home!

What is freelance writing? Wikipedia defines a freelancer or freelance writer as a self-employed person who pursues a profession without a long-term commitment to any particular employer. There are many different types of freelance writing gigs and jobs available where companies and individuals seek to hire freelance writers who know how to produce great content on the web or print copy, such as newspapers and magazines.

Freelance Writing Business

How much do freelance writers make? Some freelance writers make six figures a year, more than $100,000 per year, and while the idea of making a six figure income as a freelancer sounds really good, not everyone will get paid that kind of money. As a freelance writer, I’m sometimes asked “how much do you make as a freelance writer?”, but as a rule I never discuss money or how much I get paid as a freelancer.

Some writers disclose their freelance earnings, and based on some polls I’ve seen about money made doing freelance work, some get paid more than others as should be expected. Freelance writing jobs offer many ways to make money with your own freelance business online or offline, getting paid good money to write with or without an online website or blog, such as writing for magazines or newspapers.

Tip: Magazine writing pays very well, and copywriting pays REALLY well! Before you can start getting paid as a magazine writer or any type of writer, you have to know how to become a writer without any special qualifications or degree whatsoever. If you have writing experience and expertise, all the better, but being a freelance writer does not require any experience in writing. You can read and write in English, right?

The best part is, becoming a writer and getting paid to write is not hard! Anyone with a good grasp of the English language can become a professional writer and get paid good money for their writing skills and abilities. You are never too old to become a writer, so if you are an empty-nester or getting up in age, now would be a great time to start your own freelance writing business and start getting paid to write.

Freelance Writing Guide

If you are ready to start your own freelance writing career and get paid as a writer, you should know that there is a lot of information and misinformation about freelance writing on the web. However, I can personally vouch for this brand new freelance writing guide by Monika Mundell and Gobala Krishnan, who have collaborated in writing this joint venture (JV) guide to freelance writing.

New beginner writers always have a lot of questions about how to become a freelance writer, including setting your freelance writing rates (how much you should charge); finding your niche or topics to write about; branding your business and using business social networking or social media sites to build your brand; ways to find freelance writing gigs; managing your business and health as a writer, just to name a few.

After carefully reading and following the step-by-step instructions in this guide titled How to Quit Your Job and Make a Living From Freelance Writing, beginner freelance writers and more-experienced writers will learn everything they need to know about freelance writing, how to become a freelance writer and ways to get paid more money for the freelance work writers write for clients.

If you want your freelance business to be a successful money-making business, writers must treat their freelance writing business as a business rather than as a hobby. Monika and Gobala do a great job of explaining that if you want to build a business as a freelance writer, where you get paid enough money to quit your job and become a full-time writer online or offline, it requires strong work ethics and great time management amongst other things.

Some of my favorite things included in the guide is a list of 24 freelance writing job sites online to get paid to write as a freelancer; how much money you can expect to be paid as a freelance writer; tips and advice on maintaining good health and posture as a writer, and the pros and cons of each job bidding site. Like I’ve said, there is a lot of misinformation on the internet about freelance writing, but if you are serious about becoming a freelance writer and want to start getting paid to write, you must get Monika and Gobala’s freelance writing guide and ignore people telling you that you can’t make money as a freelance writer. Yes you can!

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Learning how to manipulate parents, and doing whatever is deemed necessary to get parents to do what kids, teens and adult children want, sometimes turns into a virtual war between kids and parents. Manipulating parents, often referred to as emotional extortion, means that there are kids of all ages who will do just about anything to get parents to say yes to something, even when saying yes puts parents in a precarious position.

Do children manipulate parents? Oh yes they do, and adult children are just as good at stooping to whatever level they see fit to get their parents to do what the kid wants, and it doesn’t matter what it is children are trying to convince parents to do. The reality of how parents are sometimes manipulated when planning a wedding became a shocking and disturbing reality for a mom I’ve heard from before, based on the email I received this morning.

Regular readers are likely familiar with the article I wrote about who pays for what when it comes time to determine how a wedding budget will be decided and how the wedding, reception and honeymoon will be paid for and by whom. Late last year, shortly before Christmas of 2008, I exchanged a few emails with a mom who was struggling with the decision of who would pay for her daughter’s wedding.

This poor mom, who is disabled and barely able to get by on her meager income, was dealing with her own Bridezilla. Her daughter, who I referred to in the “who pays for what” article as “darling daughter”, has champagne taste on a beer budget. This young, 20-year-old girl pulled every manipulative tactic on her mom and dad that she could muster, in order to have the wedding of her dreams.

Bridezilla wanted what she wanted and she was determined she would get her Cinderella dream wedding, regardless of what the total cost of her wedding finally came to, and who would end up paying for it. Her want list for her wedding was extravagant to say the least, especially when it was to be paid for by parents who don’t have the means to pay for such an expensive wedding. She wanted it all – everything you can imagine that would go into having an expensive wedding, fit for someone on a champagne budget.

She wanted a horse-drawn carriage ride to the wedding venue and limo services to the reception for all eight of her attendants, plus the matching number of groomsmen, flower girl and ring bearer. Add to that the designer wedding gown she “had” to have, an expensive wedding cake and grooms cake, all the fancy wedding decorations and everything else this young lady believed she needed to fulfill her dream wedding.

Throughout our email exchanges, I provided this mom with numerous links to informative articles on ways to reduce the cost of a wedding to an amount that was manageable for her, her ex-husband and the groom’s family. Bridezilla cried, begged, pleaded, stomped her feet, called her mom mean and hateful names, told her mom and dad they owed her the wedding she had dreamed of all her life with one guilt trip after another, and threw a major hissy-fit every time something wasn’t going her way. Wow.

Once our email discussions were over, I wrote the “who pays for what” article and set it up to go live in March of this year, which is right about the time of year when “wedding season” starts kicking in and brides with their moms start working on wedding plans and searching for information online. Did Bridezilla get her dream wedding? Oh yes she did, and how.

“Mom” racked up a killer credit card bill for her daughter’s wedding, and the cost of the wedding that now sits on her credit cards totaled close to $10,000. That’s just the disabled mom’s bill, and when you add another $20,000 or so that was split between Bridezilla’s dad and the groom’s parents, I’d say she got her dream wedding alright.

Her wedding was held during one of the most popular and most expensive months to get married, Saturday, June 6th. The mom put her share of the wedding costs on credit cards, high-interest credit cards to be exact, which was the only way she could help pay for her daughter’s wedding. Guess what has happened?

After getting married just a few months ago, dear “darling daughter” wants a divorce, and she actually expects her mom and dad to “help” pay for her divorce lawyer! There are no real “grounds for divorce” to speak of, no accusations of abuse of any kind, she just “changed her mind” and decided she doesn’t want to be married after all.

Considering the sensitive nature of some of the topics I discuss on Telling It Like It Is, not much surprises or shocks me anymore, but THIS shocked me. Not only was this young lady way too young to get married in the first place, but she’s also one of the most selfish, ungrateful, immature, unappreciative, entitled, manipulative, spoiled brats I’ve ever heard of in all my life.

Who pays for the divorce? Only time will tell, but if past experience is a sign of what is likely to occur in the near future, it’s not looking good for this mom, and probably even the dad. What do you think? Do you think this mom and/or dad should pay for this girl’s divorce after getting married about 5 months ago? By the way, this mom had no problems with me writing about her situation as long as I didn’t use her real name, which I wouldn’t do anyway. Is this situation crazy or what?

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Amy writes, “Do I need a divorce lawyer or can I represent myself?” After 30 years of marriage her husband wants a divorce, which begs the questions: Do you need a divorce lawyer to handle your divorce case? Why? When should you hire a divorce lawyer, and when is it okay to get a do-it-yourself divorce with or without the help of divorce books or online divorce forms? Divorce laws are different in each state, and while you can get a divorce without a lawyer, doing so can be very risky if you don’t know what you are doing.

One of the biggest mistakes women (and men) make in matters of divorce is deciding not to hire an attorney when needed, or opting to share the same lawyer in an understandable yet potentially dangerous effort to cut costs. If you are getting a divorce after 15, 20 or 30 years of marriage or less, hiring a good divorce lawyer can help you avoid the all-too common divorce mistakes that can lead you into personal and financial ruin.

Reasons to Hire a Divorce Lawyer

The old saying, a man (or woman) who acts as his own attorney has a fool for a client, couldn’t be more true in many divorce cases. Even though it is not required by law to hire a divorce lawyer, there are several reasons why hiring an attorney is recommended for divorcing couples, especially those with minor children.

If you have limited or no assets to divide, no children or dependents that require court administered decisions about child custody, child support, visitation, property division, spousal support or alimony, getting a do-it-yourself divorce (DIY) using self-help resources to file your divorce pro se may be an effective way of reducing the cost of getting divorced. But, if your spouse has hired an attorney or is planning to, get yourself your own lawyer a.s.a.p.

The divorce process can be very complicated, so if you don’t know your rights or how your state laws may affect the outcome of your divorce, you would be wise to find a good divorce lawyer to protect your interests and those of your children. Divorce is a time in your life when ignorance is not bliss, and if you don’t do what is necessary to protect yourself throughout the entire process, you’ll end up feeling as though you were taken advantage of and feeling like a victim of the court system.

Common Divorce Mistakes

Unfortunately, many divorce cases turn into a virtual war zone, with false accusations being thrown back and forth by using what is commonly referred to as dirty divorce tricks. Angry, controlling, vindictive men, women and mean divorce lawyers have been known to use dirty tactics, schemes and sneaky games in order to gain an unfair advantage over their soon-to-be ex with a “win at all costs” mindset.

Nasty, dirty tricks are especially used in divorce cases involving young children where child custody, child support and visitation are at stake. If your lawyer or someone you know recommends using any number of dirty tricks in your divorce proceedings, do not under any circumstances play along with such vicious and underhanded tactics. The mental and emotional damage done to children by these methods can last a lifetime, causing your children to grow up resenting you for putting them through such a hostile divorce.

If you have already filed for divorce or are planning to file for divorce from your husband (or wife), it’s important that you carefully and calmly prepare for divorce and that includes putting aside the anger, animosity, frustration or hatred for your spouse in order to think clearly and rationally.

Get your paperwork in order and do your homework by researching the divorce laws in your state. Make copies of all financial documents including debts and assets, bank accounts, property you own and any investments (pension plans, insurance and stock options). Also make a complete and detailed list of the reasons why your marriage is over and why you wish to be granted a divorce, and any special considerations you may want to request from the judge deciding on your case.

Parental Alienation

Parental Alienation, also known as Hostile Aggressive Parenting, is a serious and all-too-common mistake made in many divorces involving children, often with tragic consequences. Learn and know the signs of parental alienation and act quickly to resolve problematic issues that may arise, preferably with the help of a skilled divorce lawyer.

Avoid using any and all parental alienation tactics that family or friends may suggest to you, or suggested dirty tricks found online. When telling your children about your divorce, never say anything negative about your husband or wife, and don’t make up vicious lies about their father or mother in a sick and perverted attempt to “win” a bitter divorce case.

To your kids, the person you are talking about is their Mom or Dad, whom they love. Trying to alienate your children from their other parent by making false or unjustified accusations and derogatory comments is nothing short of child abuse, depriving children of their right to be loved and shown love by both parents equally.

If you are going through a divorce or are considering divorce, do not use your children as pawns in your divorce proceedings. While children need to know some things about the divorce, kids don’t need to know all the details and they certainly should never be made to feel as though they have to choose between their parents. When discussing or fighting about the details of the divorce or decisions that are being made, keep them private and out of earshot from your children.

Keep in mind, the divorce lawyer is not the one getting divorced, you are. Know your rights under the law within your state. Your attorney works for you, and you own the responsibility of what ultimately happens in your divorce, good or bad. If you hire an attorney that you don’t feel is looking out for your best interests, or is giving you bad advice, fire your attorney and get another one. If you can’t afford a divorce lawyer, find local volunteer divorce lawyers in your area to help protect you, your kids and your financial future.

Divorce Support Groups

There are many online divorce support groups for women, men and children, and many can be found in your local area. DivorceCare is a separation and divorce recovery support group for women, men and children, with meetings throughout the U.S., Canada and other countries. Men and fathers can also search online for “mens divorce support groups” for expert help in the recovery process following divorce. Check your local listings for divorce support groups for children, such as Parents Without Partners, that hold meetings in your area.

Amy (not her real name), the woman getting divorced after 30 years of marriage mentioned at the outset of this article, ultimately decided to hire a divorce lawyer. She is also considering mediation, which can save a lot of money in attorney fees. Fortunately for her, there are no minor aged children from the marriage to fight over, but since her soon-to-be ex husband doesn’t appear to want to play nice and has been known to be quite abusive, she decided to consult with an attorney to ensure her rights are protected.

Disclaimer: I am not an attorney. This is article is provided for informational purposes only. This article is not offered as, nor is it to be construed as legal advice. To obtain specific legal advice pertaining to your case, consult an attorney licensed to practice law in your state.

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reSTART internet addiction treatment center for computer internet and video gaming addicts, people who are addicted to the internet or playing video games, has opened its first rehab residential treatment program in the U.S. Commonly referred to as Internet Addiction Disorder (IAD), the reSTART treatment center opened its doors in August 2009 with its first patient, 19-year-old Ben Alexander of Iowa City.

reSTART, described as a 45-day video game and Internet addiction recovery program, is located in Fall City, Washington, about 30 miles east of Seattle. An admitted gaming addict, Alexander became so addicted to the online fantasy game World of Warcraft that he would spend more than 16 hours a day glued to the computer game, skipping meals and sleep for the sake of playing the game.

In an interview with Time, Alexander says he became so addicted to playing video games that “It was pretty much all I was doing when I was in college.” After unsuccessfully trying to wean himself off of the addictive game and nearly failing school, he “had a moment of clarity” and asked his dad for help. Before discovering reSTART, Alexander checked into an addiction treatment center in Eastern Washington but that didn’t help, and then went to a wilderness adventure program in Utah, all to no avail.

Internet Addiction Treatment Centers

Ironically located less than 15 miles from Microsoft’s Redmond Headquarters, the Heavensfield Retreat Center (reSTART) is a 5-acre wooden retreat with a 3,500 square foot craftsman house, Western red cedar treehouses, chicken coops, and goat pens. For a whopping cost of just $15,500 for the 45-day stay (including application, screening and treatment fees) internet and gaming addicts are cut off from the web… cold turkey.

The reSTART website (www.netaddictionrecovery.com) says inpatient treatment for internet addiction includes working with a therapist, a recreation coach, yoga and exercise instructors, nature hikes, household chores, career development and other activities in an effort to “reprogram” patients and rid them of their addiction to the internet or online gaming.

Even though Internet addiction or video game addiction is not yet included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) doesn’t make these addictions less serious and real, especially in the lives and families affected by Internet Addiction Disorder.

Unfortunately, Internet addiction is not recognized as a separate disorder by the American Psychiatric Association, and treatment is not covered by insurance. But there are many treatment centers for internet addiction in China, South Korea and Taiwan — where Internet addiction is taken very seriously — and many psychiatric experts say it is clear that Internet addiction is real and harmful.

ReSTART is run by psychotherapists Cosette Dawna Rae and Hilarie Cash, authors of Video Games & Your Kids: How Parents Stay in Control, who believe Internet addiction and gaming are no less addictive than other seemingly harmless activities, such as gambling. Since helping her first patient overcome an addiction to a role-playing computer game fifteen years ago, Cash re-focused her practice to treating patients who are compulsive Internet and gaming addicts to the point where their they stop eating and sleeping properly, risk losing their jobs, marriages and relationships are ruined, plus various potentially serious health problems (including death). The harmful effects of internet addiction or video game addiction cannot be ignored any longer – if you or your kids are showing symptoms of addiction, act now.

The signs of internet or gaming addiction cannot be ignored, and if you or your children are addicted to video games or the internet itself, can you afford the cost of going to reSTART or any other internet treatment centers that pop up around the U.S. or other countries?

Think about it. How much time do you or your children spend online, whether it be social networking sites like Facebook, Twitter, online virtual worlds like Second Life, silly Facebook games like Yoville or Mafia Wars, amongst others? Could you, someone you love, or your children be addicted to the internet or video games and not even realize it?

It’s time to get a life. A real life.

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Childhood obesity in children and teens who are considered overweight or clinically obese is on the rise, according to research studies on the prevalence of overweight and obese children and adolescents in the U.S. Child obesity statistics speak for themselves, with the term “childhood obesity epidemic” creating concern for parents and health officials, as well as city and state government officials searching for ways to reduce and even prevent obesity in children.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), over nine million kids and teens between the ages of 6-19 years of age have been diagnosed as being overweight or morbidly obese, an alarming number that has tripled since 1980.

The CDC reports that over the past three decades child obesity rates have more than doubled for preschool children between the ages of 2-5 years and adolescents aged 12-19 years, and it has more than tripled for children aged 6-11 years.

Childhood Obesity Statistics

According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Resources, overweight kids and teens have a 70% chance of becoming overweight or obese adults, which jumps to 80% if one or more parents is overweight or obese themselves.

In the U.K., parents of overweight school kids are to receive a letter from schools telling them their child is underweight, a healthy weight, overweight or very overweight. Included in the letter are tips and advice on getting kids to eat healthy, the risks of being overweight and physical activities their child can do to lower their weight and risk factors.

In 2008, child obesity statistics show a dramatic increase in the U.S. obesity rates per state, showing only one state (Colorado) with a prevalence of obesity less than 20%. Thirty-two states had a prevalence equal to or greater than 25%; six of these states (Alabama, Mississippi, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Tennessee, and West Virginia) had a prevalence of obesity equal to or greater than 30%.

Child Obesity Definition

What is obesity? The definition of child obesity and overweight is simple and easy to understand. “Obesity” means an excess amount of body fat, or body mass index (BMI) of 30 or higher, while “overweight” is defined as a body mass index of 25 or higher. BMI is calculated from a person’s weight and height, which provides a good indicator of unhealthy body fat and weight that may lead to serious health problems.

Most health professionals use published guidelines based on the body mass index, or a modified BMI for age, in order to measure obesity in children. Other professionals classify fat or overweight kids as being obese if they have a body weight ratio of at least 20% higher than a healthy weight for a child of that height, or a body fat percentage above 25% in boys or above 32% in girls.

Childhood Obesity Facts

The facts about childhood obesity cannot be ignored, and some parents have actually been arrested and charged with child abuse and neglect because their teen is morbidly obese, creating a firestorm of controversy around the country. The health risks and long-term effects of obesity in children are numerous, with very serious consequences, such as:

• Coronary heart disease

• Type 2 diabetes (also referred to as adult-onset diabetes)

• Cancers (endometrial, breast, and colon)

• Hypertension (high blood pressure)

• Dyslipidemia (high total cholesterol or high levels of triglycerides)

• Stroke

• Liver diseases, gallbladder diseases and asthma

• Sleep apnea (interruption of breath while sleeping) and respiratory problems

• Orthopedic problems/Osteoarthritis (breakdown of cartilage and bone within a joint)

• Gynecological problems (abnormal menses, infertility)

Causes of Childhood Obesity

What causes obesity and overweight in children?, you may wonder. According to the Mayo Clinic, obesity in children is caused by kids eating too much, eating the wrong kinds of foods (ie. junk foods, high calorie, high fat, high sodium) and not getting enough exercise. Television commercial ads intentionally marketed to kids and school cafeteria food menu items deserve to share at least part of the blame for increased obesity trends in children.

Genetic disorders and hormonal causes appear to play a part in some cases but are far less common than lifestyle issues and poor eating habits, and is not commonly viewed as a viable excuse. Genetic diseases, such as Prader-Willi syndrome and Cushing’s syndrome, affect only a very small percentage of children, but the primary cause of child obesity is poor eating habits and leading a sedentary lifestyle.

Lack of regular, “natural exercise” is a major contributing factor in childhood obesity rates. Children who spend too much time watching television programs, playing video games too much or internet surfing for hours each day, have a greater risk of being overweight or becoming morbidly obese than kids who regularly engage in active play or sports.

According to research studies, “children’s food preferences and food-intake patterns may be shaped largely by the foods parents choose to make available to children and persistence in presenting a food that initially is rejected.”

The same study found that “picky eaters were breastfed for fewer than 6 months,” suggesting that breastfeeding that lasts longer than 6 months may help prevent kids from becoming picky eaters in the first place. Recommendations for dealing with a picky eater are to prepare one healthy meal for the entire family, and if he or she does not want to eat the meal prepared, don’t force them to eat it but don’t give the child something else to eat.

Weight Loss Diets for Children?

Child obesity prevention programs, weight loss camps and diets for kids under 13 years of age (and older) are popping up all over the U.S., but are diets for children safe? These programs are hoping to stop the obesity epidemic from growing and help kids learn about proper nutrition, food choice, self esteem, portion control and getting enough exercise.

National weight loss programs and grants are being put into place to help children achieve and maintain a healthy body mass index, or BMI, and lower their risks of health problems. These obesity programs also help parents of overweight or obese kids learn how to promote healthy lifestyles and eating habits, and how to give helpful support and encouragement effectively.

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) food pyramid for kids program called MyPyramid for Kids offers printable meal tracking worksheets in Spanish and English to help preschoolers (ages 2-5 years) and older kids (ages 6-11 years) keep track of their food choices and level of physical activity, as well as providing tips for parents and families.

We Can! or “Ways to Enhance Children’s Activity & Nutrition” is a national education program developed by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) to help prevent childhood obesity in youth ages 8–13. We Can! focuses on programs and activities for parents and families as a primary group for influencing youth. The program provides turn-key resources and programs for parents, caregivers, and youth to encourage healthy eating, increase physical activity, and reduce screen time.

Fad diets are a dime a dozen, and that includes “diets for teens” and even “diets for kids” who are overweight, so before you go signing your kid up for any diet programs – research diet scams and talk to your family doctor to make an informed decision for your child.

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Did you know that free dental care is available for people in need of dental treatment services who cannot afford the cost of dental work out of their own pocket? Finding an affordable dentist when you have no money, no credit cards and no dental insurance to help pay for treatment can be very difficult for low income families, the elderly and disabled members of society.

Add to that the list of men and women who have lost their jobs and insurance due to the current economic recession or are experiencing serious health problems, you can probably imagine how difficult it is for individuals, families and children to get much needed dental work done.

According to the National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research (NIDCR), more than 131 million children and adults in the U.S. do not have dental health insurance. Even though the NIDCR does not offer financial assistance for those needing dental care, they do seek volunteers to participate in clinical trials specific to dental, oral or craniofacial condition. Fortunately, these individuals may qualify for free dental care or low cost treatment from one or more programs offered by public and private organizations.

What do you do when you need to go to the dentist, but don’t have an affordable dental plan or the financial means to seek treatment? There are low cost dental care programs, dental grants and free dental clinics in the U.S. that help people get dental checkups and treatments in regular intervals for free, as well as caring for dental emergencies that can happen without warning for little or no cost.

Many health departments and social service agencies provide free dental treatment by qualified dentists and dental specialists, who volunteer their time and services for free to patients who are unable to pay for treatment. If you are wondering how you can get free dental care services or are needing information on grants for dental work, discount dental plans or low cost dental care, consider the following resources:

Free Dental Care Clinics

Local universities, teaching hospitals, dental schools and hygiene schools throughout the United States provide dental care under the supervision of a Senior Dentist or Dental Professor, usually providing services on a sliding scale, “low cost” or reduced-fee basis. Visit the American Dental Association (ADA) website at www.ada.org for a complete list of dental schools, and the American Dental Hygienists Association (ADHA) website at www.adha.org to locate dental hygiene schools in your area.

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Resources (www.hhs.gov) “families” category provides information on qualifying for Medicare and Medicaid services, and details on the Children’s Health Insurance Program (SCHIP) AKA “CHIP” dental coverage up to the age of 19.

Dentistry From The Heart (www.dentistryfromtheheart.org) is a registered non-profit organization dedicated to providing free dental care to those who need it. Every year, individual dentists and practices across the country donate their time and resources to host their own DFTH events. Free dental events listed by DFTH for 2009-2010 include the states of Michigan, Colorado, South Carolina, Idaho, Washington, Connecticut, Texas, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Nevada, California, Arizona, Louisiana, Florida, New Mexico, New York, Ohio, Illinois, New Jersey and Massachusetts.

Mission of Mercy dental clinic (www.amissionofmercy.org) is an independent nonprofit community-based organization providing free healthcare, free dental care and free prescription medications to the uninsured, underinsured and those who “fall through the cracks” of our healthcare system. Mission of Mercy (M.O.M) receives no government funding whatsoever, so healthcare and dental treatments are provided without prequalification requirements such as verifying proof of income or residency. Mission of Mercy clinics provide more than 25,000 free patient visits per year, with clinics located in Arizona, Maryland, Pennsylvania and Texas.

Free Medical Clinics (www.freemedicalcamps.com) provides free or almost free medical and dental care anywhere in the U.S. Some locations are only for low-income people and some only serve local community residents. Free Medical Clinics has a large, extensive dental directory, with locations in every state. You will find a list of several dentists in your area who will provide dental care for free or for a very cheap price, perhaps as little as twenty dollars.

The National Foundation of Dentistry (www.nfdh.org) has a program where dentists provide for the essential and comprehensive dental care needs of our nation’s most vulnerable people; disabled, elderly or medically-compromised individuals who cannot afford necessary treatment nor get public aid. A program coordinator is available in each state and is responsible for determining patient eligibility as being disabled, elderly or medically compromised and have no other way for paying for dental care.

Operation Blessing International (www.ob.org) is a Christian organization whose mission is to meet the needs of people everywhere. Operation Blessing has free dental missions all over the U.S. Operation Blessing offers free medical, dental, optical and surgical services for those who cannot access or afford healthcare. They have a 20-chair mobile hospital where you can take your entire family to the dentist. Operation Blessing’s dental clinics use dentists who have chosen to volunteer their time in service to others.

For those who do not qualify for free, no cost dental care, patients pay a fraction of the dentist’s typical fees, which is approximately one-tenth the normal rate. Free dental clinics can often have a lengthy waiting period for patients hoping to get dental work completed quickly, as dentists in private practice do not want to participate in dental services for Medicaid patients due to the extremely low reimbursement rates.

What about dental grants? Are there any available grants for dental care? A dental grant is just a fancy way of saying dental insurance, discount dental plans and similar terms to get you all excited about the possibility that there really are “free dental grants” for dental patients. If you’re finding information online on low cost dental grants or claims of “free dental grants” for the whole family – it’s nothing but a personal dental insurance plan that you have pay monthly premiums on (albeit cheap insurance premiums) like any other kind of dental insurance.

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Abercrombie & Fitch is at it again. The “Abercrombie & Fitch pitches new trashy T-Shirts to America’s Youth” headline is creating quite a stir around the internet, and for very good reason. It’s called the Sexualization of Children and Abercrombie & Fitch continues to target American young people with their highly sexualized clothing lines and t-shirts. Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) has come out with a new line of t-shirts called “New College Tees” with inappropriate, sexualized messages appearing on the t-shirts.

College students may find A&F clothing styles appealing, but tweens and teens shop and spend their own money or allowance at Abercrombie and Fitch too. These tees are not appropriate for any age, let alone tweens and teens wearing such “sexy” smut. Parents would be wise to consider very carefully what department store gift cards to buy as gifts, especially gift cards or clothes from stores such as Abercrombie & Fitch.

The American Family Association and OneMillionMoms.com is spearheading an e-mail campaign to the popular A&F clothing store over their new “Get It On” Fall line of T-shirts. Regarding the new line of trashy tees, OneMillionMoms director Monica Cole said, “A few of their little slogans are pretty offensive to women in general, so you wouldn’t want your daughters or nieces wearing these shirts.” Cole continues saying the trashy tees are “only available in stores. It’s not online, and parents can’t even get a preview before they go in the stores, so they will be shocked; then it will be too late.”

Messages printed on Abercrombie & Fitch new tees:

• Tie me up, don’t tie me down

• All bed no breakfast

• I always end up on top

• Anyone you can do, I can do better

A&F also owns Hollister Co. which coincidently has a new “Surf Tees” line that is full of sexual innuendos as well, such as:

• Chicks Dig the Long Board

• Sand Jobs are for Surfers

• She Goes Both Ways (Beaches & Long Boards)

• Ride the Tip

• Maybe Partying Will Help

• Volley My Balls Please

OneMillionMoms.com and the American Family Association need your help to force Abercrombie & Fitch to pull their sexualized shirts. An email circulation by the American Family Assocation and OneMillionMoms.com says this:

“Abercrombie & Fitch (A&F) continues its pattern of pushing pornographic-themed material into mainstream America. Abercrombie & Fitch has just begun offering their “New College” line of T-shirts.

The first A&F T-shirt pictures a young girl opening her blouse – exposing herself. A&F titles the image: “Show the Twins”.

The second picture is of a female running nude. A&F titles it: “Female streaking encouraged.” The next Abercrombie & Fitch T-shirt is entitled: “Female Students Wanted for Sexual Research”. Abercrombie & Fitch does not merely sell a popular line of clothing – they sell a lifestyle. And because A&F clothing is popular among teens and college kids, the influence of their sex-as-recreation lifestyle is widespread.

The Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and Prevention reports that Sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) remain a major public health challenge in the United States. CDC estimates that approximately 19 million new infections occur each year – almost half of them among young people 15 to 24 years of age.”

How you can help: Send an email letter to Abercrombie & Fitch asking them to pull their sexualized shirts. After sending your email, call A&F at 614-283-6500 (press “0″ to speak directly to a real person) and let them how you REALLY feel about their continued sexualization of children efforts.

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