Telling It Like It Is» Happy Thanksgiving

Hallmark Maxine – Maxine Quotes, Jokes, Cards, Cartoons, Calendars, Funny Sayings

Lin — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 20:58:06 +0000

I love Maxine. Everything and anything Maxine. Books, cups, cards and ecards, it doesn’t matter as long as it’s Crabby Lady Maxine with an attitude, who really knows how to tell it like it is. Hallmark Maxine to be specific, the old crusty, sarcastic Maxine and all her funny cartoons, jokes, quotes and sayings that make Maxine fans laugh out loud.

With Thanksgiving coming in a matter of days, and Christmas not far behind, I’ve been getting my fill of Thanksgiving Maxine cartoons while planning and preparing for the holidays. To all my subscribed readers on Telling It Like It Is, I want to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving. “May your stuffing be tasty; May your turkey plump; May your potatoes and gravy have nary a lump. May your yams be delicious and your pies take the prize, and may your Thanksgiving dinner stay off your thighs!” – Unknown

To Know Me Is to….Well, is to Know Me.

You know that nice older lady who lives down the street and you see tending her cats or maybe cooling a pie on the windowsill? That’s not me. Not even close. I don’t live on anybody’s street-they live on mine. I don’t work well in groups, and I don’t work at all if I can get away with it. I tell it like it is, I tell it like it ought to be. And I’m my own biggest fan. But you’re free to join in the hard-fought fight for second place. – Maxine

I’ve been a fan of Hallmark Maxine quotes and her sarcastic humor for many years now, and my Birthday and Christmas Amazon wish lists always includes a variety of Maxine products to add to my growing collection. If you love Maxine as much as I do, you’ll likely want to get a 2011 Maxine calendar to hang on your wall, or perhaps the boxed Maxine calendar for your desk.

“Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, and the old buzzard won’t be hanging around, underfoot, all weekend.” – Maxine

Having the latest Maxine pocket planner to carry in my purse at all times is a must, to help me stay organized and up-to-date on all the birthdays, anniversaries, appointments and other goings on with friends and family I might otherwise forget. I have every Maxine mug available for drinking coffee in the morning, but I’ve seen quite a few Maxine collectibles and figurines that have been added to my wish list of wants.

Even if I don’t receive the Maxine dolls I saw online the other day for Christmas this year, it’s no big deal because I could always buy the dolls as a Christmas present to myself after the holidays are over, or I could mention the Maxine stuff I’ve been finding as wedding anniversary gift ideas to my better half and see what happens.

“My favorite birthday game is Pin the Cleanup on the guests.” – Maxine

Pretty soon we’ll be pulling out the Christmas holiday decorations and opening last year’s boxes of Christmas tree ornaments, but as far as I’m concerned, Christmas tree decorating wouldn’t be complete without some Maxine Christmas ornaments to bring some humorous fun to the seasonal festivities and family gatherings.

Out of all the funny Maxine quotes and sayings that make me laugh, Maxine’s quotes on aging and birthday quotes are on the top of my list of favorites. By the time I have all the Maxine merchandise I want, Hallmark will come out with more Maxine, which will make my home office look exactly how I want it to. Enjoy these Maxine aging quotes and 25 of my favorite Maxine quotes. Gobble Gobble!

12 Maxine Quotes on Aging

“I’m agin’ and ragin’!! I’m sassy, classy, and still kickin’ assy!”
“I’ve still got IT, but NOBODY wants to see it.”
“Real women don’t have hot flashes, they have POWER SURGES!!”
“Take every birthday with a grain of salt. This works much better if the salt accompanies a large margarita”.
“Getting older is like visiting an all-you-can-eat buffet; what should be hot is cold, what should be firm is limp, and the buns are bigger than anything else on the buffet!”
“Don’t go gray without bitchin’ all the way!”
“After a certain age, if you don’t wake up aching in every joint, you are probably dead.”
“The only two things we do with greater frequency in middle age is urinate and attend funerals.”
“The good news is that even as we get older, guys still like looking at our boobs. The bad news is, they have to squat down first.”
“It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffeemaker.”
“My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be. Also my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be”
“Aging, like fine wine, means spending a lot of your time on your side, lying down.”

25 Maxine Quotes

1. To stay relaxed in today’s frantic, stressful world, you have to force yourself to stop & put your feet up. I put mine up just high enough to kick the butt of whoever’s annoying me.

2. The secret to leading a tranquil life is to ignore petty annoyances & save your anger for really serious matters. Like if somebody looks at you funny.

3. I don’t see the glass as half-empty or half-full. I see it as a glass somebody else has already put their lousy germs on.

4. Home computers are the perfect thing for women who don’t feel that men provide them with enough frustration.

5. Sometimes it helps to count to 10 on your fingers. Or just one, if you know what I’m saying.

6. I’ll carpool when I can find three people who don’t talk, sweat, whistle, or use cologne.

7. I enjoy wallpapering, it gives me a chance to brush up on the swear words I haven’t used in a while.

8. I have a one-step program for dealing with stress. Well, one step and a kick to be exact.

9. Caffeine is for people who feel they aren’t irritable enough on their own.

10. The greatest thing about cordless phones is instead of hanging them up on people, you can just throw them.

11. Sometimes the days just fly by–except for the day when you have to wait for the cable guy.

12. My idea of a high-stress job is any job where you have to work with other people.

13. Found something at the swimsuit shop I was really comfortable in. The dressing room.

14. I like to give advice to young parents: but “Muzzle that screamin’ brat!” isn’t very well received.

15. Experts say you can relieve stress by petting a cat. ‘Course, it doesn’t work if the cat’s the one making you nuts in the first place.

16. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve misplaced my keys, there’d be a jarful of money that I’d also have to look for.

17. Forgive me if I snap at you. I’m myself today.

18. Just saw a three-hankie movie. That’s how many I stuffed into the mouth of the talker behind me.

19. Sometimes work can be stressful. Especially for people that work with me.

20. I’m thinking of renewing my vow…to never get married again.

21. I work out every day. Mostly frustrations & anger.

22. Yelling really loud can sometimes ease tension…and sometimes it makes everyone else in the library jump out of their skin.

23. I hate getting behind people who can’t drive. It’s so hard for them to see my finger in their rearview mirror.

24. If your life is an endless series of ups and downs, consider a more supportive bra.

25. It’s important to vent your frustrations. But you have to recognize the appropriate time and place to vent and blow off steam. For me it’s anytime, anyplace.

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Thanksgiving Prayer, Poems and Quotes for Thanksgiving Day 2009

Lin — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 15:50:52 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving to all my readers! Gobble Gobble! As you celebrate Thanksgiving Day with your family and close friends, be sure to say a prayer for those less fortunate than yourselves, for our military and their families, and those who have recently lost a loved one in death. Here are a few Thanksgiving Prayers and poems collected from the net for your consideration. If you have a Thanksgiving prayer you wish to share, please leave a comment below. Happy Thanksgiving and blessings to all of you as you enjoy your Thanksgiving Day meal celebration with loved ones. Bring on the football game (and then a well deserved nap!)

Thanksgiving Prayer

“Loving Merciful God, We give You thanks for the creation of this world; it is a wonder and a blessing which should give us pause to offer You thanks. Creator, we are blessed by such little-big things as the air we breathe and the water we drink, these little-big things that fill our lives with the elements of living, but are commonly overlooked for we do not always stop to think about the wonders of the world which are working. We know that in Your time and space all will been done to fulfill Your glory, Your plans for us. We are reminded by Your Word in the Scripture 1Thessalonians 5:18 to be joyful always, pray continually, and give thanks in all things for this was Your will for us in Christ Jesus.

It is the daily bread of our lives, the everyday comings and goings, were we must pause to give You thanks. We find this a hard task to do in this present day as we are ever mindful of suffering, pain, sorrow, violence, addictions, greed, universal poverty, incurable diseases, mounting cost, dissenting view points, depression, and very day busy-ness of our lives. We are lost in the endless fear of losing yet another family member or friend. We watch endless newscasts about other people suffering and it is all more than we can bear. We find that our voices matter little to others or we are afraid that we will be heard and have to make time to do the work You are calling us to carry out. We also find that we are held captive to our lives and cannot be thankful for all circumstances. Some of us are carrying around decades old anger and fear which we cannot begin to excavate ourselves from nor find any reason to give thanks or forgiveness. Where is the time to continually be joyful, to pray, to be thankful?

We need Your love and guidance now the same as all Your children throughout the generations has need it. We need, in this season of Your creation to slow us down, giving us the chance to pause in thanksgiving and waiting for the Advent for Christ’s coming into our lives to give us a turning point into even more thankfulness and forgiveness. Help us to be thankful for the chance we are given still to ask for and receive forgiveness.

Help us God to truly lift our voices in Praise so that all can hear the wonders of Your world, from the tiniest voices of a baby’s cry to the thundering masses at a sports game, the quiet whispers of hope being uttered over the sickbeds of our nation to the rumbling desert tanks of our solders defending the innocent on distant shores. Help us fill our lives with thanksgiving and forgiveness as we strive for making this time and place the fulfillment of Your kingdom on earth as it is in heaven.Help us to realize that in the act of filling our lives with continuous joy, prayer, and thanksgiving that we are making the choice to take the courage of Christ into our lives so that others may find thanksgiving and forgiveness in their “daily bread.” We ask all these things in the Your name, O God, as Christ taught us. Amen.”

Thanksgiving Prayer for those who lost a loved one in death:

“Dear God, we are here to express our gratitude for all your blessings. You have given us so much, not only providing what we need to live, but in giving us yourself. We are richly blessed, and it is right to acknowledge that you are the source of all good things. Yet this day also brings a mix of emotions to us. We confess our thanks, but also our sadness because of the empty place at our table. We know that death and sorrow were not your original plan, but we also know that you use difficulties to draw us closer to you and to each another. Here and now fill the empty places in our hearts and this empty place at our table. Teach us to savor the moments we have with one another, to rightly remember what we have lost, but also to look forward in hope to what we have promised in the future. We say again, ‘Your love is better than life.’ Thank you for all your blessings, for even through trials and loss you always, somehow reveal your goodness. In Jesus we pray.”

Thanksgiving Prayer

“Heavenly Father, on Thanksgiving Day
We bow our hearts to You and pray.
We give You thanks for all You’ve done
Especially for the gift of Jesus, Your Son.
For beauty in nature, Your glory we see
For joy and health, friends and family,
For daily provision, Your mercy and care
These are the blessings You graciously share.
So today we offer this response of praise
With a promise to follow You all of our days.”
Mary Fairchild

A Thanksgiving Day Prayer

“Lord, so often times, as any other day
When we sit down to our meal and pray

We hurry along and make fast the blessing
Thanks, amen. Now please pass the dressing

We’re slaves to the olfactory overload
We must rush our prayer before the food gets cold

But Lord, I’d like to take a few minute more
To really give thanks to what I’m thankful for

For my family, my health, a nice soft bed
My friends, my freedom, a roof over my head

I’m thankful right now to be surrounded by those
Whose lives touch me more than they’ll ever possibly know

Thankful Lord, that You’ve blessed me beyond measure
Thankful that in my heart lives life’s greatest treasure

That You, dear Jesus, reside in that place
And I’m ever so grateful for Your unending grace

So please, heavenly Father, bless this food You’ve provided
And bless each and every person invited.
Amen!”

Thanksgiving

“For each new morning with its light,
For rest and shelter of the night,
For health and food,
For love and friends,
For everything Thy goodness sends.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882)

We Gather Together

“We gather together to ask the Lord’s blessing;
He chastens and hastens his will to make known;
The wicked oppressing now cease from distressing,
Sing praises to his name: He forgets not his own.

Beside us to guide us, our God with us joining,
Ordaining, maintaining his kingdom divine;
So from the beginning the fight we were winning;
Thou, Lord, wast at our side, All glory be thine!

We all do extol thee, thou leader triumphant,
And pray that thou still our defender wilt be.
Let thy congregation escape tribulation;
Thy name be ever praised! O Lord, make us free!
Amen”
Traditional Thanksgiving Hymn
(A translation by Theodore Baker: 1851-1934)

We Give Thanks

“Our Father in Heaven,
We give thanks for the pleasure
Of gathering together for this occasion.
We give thanks for this food
Prepared by loving hands.
We give thanks for life,
The freedom to enjoy it all
And all other blessings.
As we partake of this food,
We pray for health and strength
To carry on and try to live as You would have us.
This we ask in the name of Christ,
Our Heavenly Father.”
Harry Jewell

I Thank Thee

“O Thou whose bounty fills my cup,
With every blessing meet!
I give Thee thanks for every drop—
The bitter and the sweet.

I praise Thee for the desert road,
And for the riverside;
For all Thy goodness hath bestowed,
And all Thy grace denied.

I thank Thee for both smile and frown,
And for the gain and loss;
I praise Thee for the future crown
And for the present cross.

I thank Thee for both wings of love
Which stirred my worldly nest;
And for the stormy clouds which drove
Me, trembling, to Thy breast.

I bless Thee for the glad increase,
And for the waning joy;
And for this strange, this settled peace
Which nothing can destroy.”
Jane Crewdson (1860)

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Happy Thanksgiving – Thanksgiving Day Roundup

Lin — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 08:00:13 +0000

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours! I hope you enjoy your Thanksgiving holiday with family and friends, as well as the tasty Thanksgiving meal prepared.

If you are new here, feel free to browse the categories on the left column, leave a question or comment if you like. Or, enjoy reading some of these articles I’ve been reading lately myself.

What I’ve been reading:

Happy Thanksgiving! Gobble, Gobble!

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