How to Be a Good Daughter-In-Law: Building a Great Daughter-In-Law Relationship With Your Mother-In-Law

“Daughter-In-Laws from hell”? Are you a good daughter-in-law to your husband’s mother, or soon to be mother-in-law? Can you honestly say to yourself, “I am a good daughter-in-law”? Being a good daughter-in-law and building a great relationship with your husband’s mother, and maintaining that good relationship, can be easier than you think or more challenging and difficult than you could ever imagine.

Ever since I wrote How to Be a Good Mother-In-Law, I’ve been inundated with emails from mothers who describe their current or future daughter-in-law as the daughter-in-law from hell; jealous; selfish; manipulative; controlling; disrespectful; rude; conniving; evil and psychotic, just to name a few not-so-nice descriptive words about daughter-in-laws.

Some mothers used “daughter-in-law hates me” and “I hate my daughter-in-law” in the email subject line to describe the difficulties and animosity felt between the mother and daughter-in-law. A few mothers wrote about their relationship problems with a son-in-law as well, but the typical problems existing between mothers and daughter-in-laws are much more common than those with a current or future son-in-law.

I’ll be dealing with the issues of being a good son-in-law in an upcoming article, but for now let’s just stick with you, the daughter-in-law.

Mother-In-Law/Daughter-In-Law Problems

After reading and responding to many emails, as well as visiting websites, message boards and online support groups where mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws complain about each other and their problems, it became obvious to me that there is a tremendous amount of misunderstandings, misinterpretations, hyper-sensitivity and mean-spirited gossip being said about each other. But rarely any advice or real solutions being shared.

Based on the complaints posted on those sites, it became apparent to me that most daughter-in-laws are not evil or cruel, but are misguided and feel threatened. Daughter-in-laws and mother-in-laws are both guilty of not even attempting to understand the others wants, needs and perspective, but are very quick to criticize and ridicule the other.
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