A Child Psychologist’s Top 10 Wishes for Parents in 2012

Tolstoy famously wrote “Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Modern psychological science supports this wisdom in findings that extend back for decades and traverse the globe. My work has focused on trying to distill this research into 10 effective and time-efficient strategies that hectic parents can use to promote wellness, happiness and resilience in their children and themselves.

So, my wish for parents in 2012 is to practice these 10 strategies (each of which constitutes a chapter in my parenting book Working Parents, Thriving Families: 10 Strategies That Make a Difference). Here they are:
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Marriage in College

Fourteen percent of women between the ages of 25 and 29 who had been married were divorced. Although this seems like a significantly high rate, it represents a 30 percent drop from just ten years ago. More people are waiting until later in life to get married, contributing to the lower divorce rate.

Some still prefer to marry young, though, and even choose to make the leap at while in college. Doing so may be thought to be rash, or to require at least one parent to put off finishing school or take online classes for college, but in fact couples willing to face the challenge stand chances as good as anyone else of making a lasting marriage.
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How to Divorce Your Parents, Minors Emancipation, Can You Divorce Your Parents?

Can you divorce your parents? How do you divorce your parents if you are an adult child dealing with controlling parents or in-laws, or a teenager seeking legal minor emancipation or “divorce” from your parents? Are you dealing with a toxic, abusive and/or controlling parent and want to know how to “divorce” your parents?

I’ve received several “divorce your parents” email questions in recent weeks, from adult children dealing with over-involved, controlling parents who don’t know how to parent adult children, and from teens who think that getting pregnant on purpose or getting married too young is the way to qualify for emancipation from parents in order to get out from underneath their parents thumb. I’ll first respond to the adult children, then the teens.

If you are an adult child who has been researching “parents controlling adult children” or “controlling parents”, you likely came across my articles about parents helping vs. enabling adult children and didn’t think those apply to your specific situation (or they do apply, but that’s not what you want to hear and you don’t want to admit it).

How To Divorce Your Parents

Based on some of the emails I’ve received, I’d venture to say that there is a strong possibility that you may have a sense of entitlement that makes you want to “have your cake and eat it too”, but you can’t have it both ways.

If you really are dealing with “controlling parents” or in-laws that don’t understand what parenting adult children means or the need for respectful boundaries, these articles will help explain that “divorcing” controlling, toxic parents as grown, adult children may be the only viable option left to protect your physical, emotional, mental health and well-being.

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