Are parents obligated to pay college tuition for their kids to attend college? Should parents pay for college or should college students be responsible for paying college related expenses including tuition, with or without their parents help? The question of who pays for college continues to be a controversial (sometimes heated) debate between kids planning to attend college, and their parents.

Parents, are you responsible for paying your kids college education or not? If parents are supposed to pay for college, how much should parents pay towards tuition, books, housing costs, transportation, gas, insurance, food, clothing, entertainment and miscellaneous expenses for college? Where do parents draw the line between helping kids attend college and not jeopardizing their savings and retirement accounts? To say that your retirement plans are more important than your children’s college funds is putting it mildly.

The all too common belief some people have that it is somehow a parents obligation to pay for college, as if parents “owe” their kids a paid-for college education, reeks of unrealistic expectations and a sense of entitlement in today’s society. Parents who cannot afford to pay for their kids to attend college, or choose not to pay some or all college expenses for their own personal or financial reasons, are almost made out to be bad parents.

These parents are accused of not loving their kids, not wanting their children to be successful in life, and not worthy of being called parents amongst other things. Loving your children has nothing to do with who is going to pay for college, or a parent’s desire for their kids to become successful, independent adults. In an article entitled “don’t pay your children’s college education”, the writer aptly points out that paying for college is not about love, sacrifice or devotion towards kids. There is much more to it than that.

So, parents have to pay for college if they have the money, right? Wrong. “How am I going to pay for my college education if my parents won’t pay, can’t afford to help, or refuse to fill out the FAFSA?” is a common question.

Who Pays For College?

Opinions on why parents should pay for college vs. parents who should not pay for college vary, as expected. Even “personal finance experts” can’t seem to agree. Words like should, must, have to, obligation, responsibility and similar terms used by college-aged kids expecting their parents to pay for all college expenses with little or no “skin in the game” themselves is ludicrous. I have yet to find a parenting manual that states parents must pay for their child’s college education, whether parents can afford the costs or not.

Don’t get me wrong, education is important. Many parents already do what they can to ensure their kids get a great education until high school graduation. But, parents do not owe their children a college education. Parents paying for college is not a kids “right” to a free ride through college, but is a parents choice to decide whether to pay or not pay for any part of their kids higher education, how much, and on what terms.

You can take loans for college but not for retirement. Even financial expert Suze Orman says it is financially irresponsible and downright dangerous for parents to basically write a blank check from the bank of mom and dad to pay for their kids college education, or take out a second mortgage to pay for college. IF parents can afford to pay for college and choose to do so, then by all means pay for your child to go to college to whatever degree you are financially able to do so, without sacrificing your savings account or retirement account.

How to Pay For College

Planning ahead towards college costs with money set aside in a 529 plan for your kids education is a smart option for parents, if they choose to and can afford it. Parents can also help their children look for scholarships, federal grants, student loans and sources of “free money” for college. Do not allow your children, or society in general, to guilt-trip or demand that you pay for your child’s college education if you cannot afford to pay or choose not to pay for your kids to go to college. It is entirely up to you, the parents.

I couldn’t help but laugh when I read this article suggesting the “federal government and the schools consider it the family’s primary responsibility to pay for the child’s education”, wrongly implying that parents are legally required to pay for college. Let the whining and moaning commence. Parents who have college-aged kids have already fulfilled their responsibility to their kids education throughout elementary, middle/intermediate and high school. The article about the federal government even suggests kids who have Christian or religious parents should hurl scripture quotes from the Bible at parents in order to manipulate or coerce parents into paying for college.

Should parents pay for college or should parents make kids find a job and work through college to help themselves get a great education? A parents legal and moral obligation to care and provide for their children ends when kids reach the age of 18 and they are considered to be adults in the U.S. While parents have an obligation to care for minor children and provide them the best education possible, parents are not obligated or responsible for adult children. Unfortunately, many parents continue to pay for and enable their grown kids anyway.

If you are a parent researching information on the advantages and disadvantages of paying for all or some of your kids college education, carefully consider and bookmark these devil’s advocate articles on who should pay for college, and who should not pay and how helping pay for college can lead to trouble. The decision is ultimately yours, so choose wisely, unless you don’t mind eating cat food in your elderly years. The book The Best Way to Save for College-A Complete Guide to 529 Plans by Joseph Hurley comes highly recommended by finance expert Suze Orman.

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Gold diggers have been around for a very long time, with both men and women looking for an easy meal ticket without having to work hard to provide for their own needs, including gold digging wannabe’s looking for lessons on how to be a gold digger in order to live a high-society, high-maintenance lifestyle with someone else’s hard-earned money. Knowing how to spot a gold digger can protect you and your assets from gold digging piranha, who pretend to genuinely care about you and love you, but are only in the relationship to get whatever they feel entitled to receive from you.

If you’re looking for information on how to be a gold digger, you are in the wrong place. Hit the back button and skidaddle, because your “it’s all about me” gold digging attitude is the bane of every woman’s (or man’s) existence. Gold diggers do not believe their attitude and actions are wrong because ‘truth is relative’ to them; they want it therefore it is right, and it is right because they want it.

Recognizing a gold digger, especially when you’re dating, can save you years of heartache as well as money, property and a wide range of assets. Do you know how to spot a gold digger early into a relationship, perhaps even on the first date, or have you already been taken for a ride by a gold digger and are now married to him or her?

What is a gold digger? According to the Urban Dictionary, the definition of a gold digger is “any woman whose primary interest in a relationship is material benefits. A woman who cares more about a man’s bank account than she does about the man. The closest male equivalent is a gigolo or boytoy.” My own definition would be more along the lines of a selfish, egotistical, narcissistic, money-grubbing skank with an extreme sense of entitlement that boggles the minds of those with any sense or moral compass.

Both men and women victims of gold diggers make common mistakes in the early stages of dating such as: buying expensive gifts for him/her, wining and dining at expensive restaurants, giving money to their date to help pay bills etc, usually in an attempt to impress the other person into continuing the new relationship or wanting to take the relationship to the next level before getting to know the real person behind the facade.

10 Things Gold Diggers Want to Know:

1. What do you do for a living?
2. How much money do you make?
3. Where do you live?
4. Do you own your own home?
5. What kind of car do you drive?
6. Do you have a boat? If so, what kind?
7. What kind of restaurants do you frequent?
8. Where do you like to shop for clothes?
9. What kind of watch or jewelry do you wear?
10. Do you have any children? If so, how many?

Gold diggers are a walking, talking, calculator. Every question or conversation that remotely relates to money is being used to calculate the percentage of the money that he/she feels entitled to benefit from, because they “deserve” it. Questions about how many children you have may appear to be harmless conversation, but the gold digger wants to determine how much of your time and money will go to the kids and how much time and money will be spent on him or her.

How to Avoid a Gold Digger

If you are looking to meet your soul mate, someone to spend the rest of your life with, take your time in getting to know the person. Beware of anyone who asks for money to pay bills, or even drops hints that they are struggling financially or can’t pay their own car insurance, because they are hoping you’ll take the hint and offer to give them money. Grown men and women should be able to take care of their own financial needs with hard work and effort, and if they’re not doing so due to poor money management or zero job skills, then you’re better off looking elsewhere.

Don’t be quick to pick up the tab at restaurants. Any self-respecting man or woman would come fully prepared to pay for their own meal (rather than running to the bathroom when the bill arrives), and that old cliche about men always having to pay for meals is ludicrous, especially in the early stages of dating. If your date demands or expects to be taken to the fanciest and most expensive fine dining restaurants in town, regardless of whether you can afford it or not, red flags are flying and this gold digging behavior should be taken as a major sign of trouble to come.

Don’t take your date shopping, especially in the early months of the relationship. If and when you do decide to being shopping with him or her, pay close attention to verbal and non-verbal clues that may indicate the tendency to only want to shop in high-end, expensive stores or boutiques. Gold diggers expect to be pampered, catered to and coddled on your dime, rather than spending their own money on the things they need or want.

Find out the girl or guy’s real values, ethics and morals through meaningful conversation, remembering that “if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is”. Use your God-given intuition and intelligence to choose someone to spend your life with that shares your own moral values, rather than being fooled by the experienced and seasoned gold diggers in this world that are selfishly seeking to extract your money out of your wallet.

Understanding how to spot a gold digger from the get-go will not only save you from being taken financially when dating, but will also save you from marrying a gold digger and possibly losing everything you worked so hard to achieve in life.

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Don’t Be That Girl
Gold Diggers Get Their Due Reward
A Sense of Entitlement

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